LeadingLDS Podcast https://leadinglds.org LDS (Mormon) Leadership Best Practices Mon, 13 Aug 2018 19:42:52 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.8 LeadingLDS is a nonprofit organization with a mission to enhance leadership ability and capacity of LDS (Mormon) lay religious leaders in order to accelerate the mission of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.<br /> <br /> Here are 4 ways LeadingLDS accomplishes the above mission statement:<br /> <br /> 1. Connect LDS leaders and help share best-practices related to leadership responsibilities.<br /> <br /> 2. Make available training and educational opportunities that enhance leadership ability at little or no cost to the leader.<br /> <br /> 3. Negotiate relationships with businesses and organizations that provide services/products related to a leadership calling in order to lighten the burden of lay leaders of the LDS Church (i.e. suits, dry cleaning, family activities, etc.).<br /> <br /> 4. Celebrate the importance of governing priesthood keys, spiritual inspiration, and living prophets that are sacred sources of divine leadership.<br /> <br /> LeadingLDS is not owned or sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and we seek to have a positive relationship and help progress the missions and goals of the LDS Church.<br /> <br /> Podcast Host:<br /> <br /> Kurt Francom currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah with is his lovely wife Alanna. They are blessed to have a little girl and baby boy. Kurt works as the Director of Sales & Marketing for Fiddler.Online. He enjoys drawing caricatures and editorial cartoons, basketball, reading, and college football. Kurt has served as a full-time missionary (California Sacramento), an elder quorum president, executive secretary, bishopric counselor, high priest group leader, bishop and currently serves as the 1st counselor in a stake presidency.<br /> <br /> Check out the podcast episode featuring Kurt Francom where he talks about how he leads and the future of LeadingLDS. LeadingLDS clean LeadingLDS kurt@leadinglds.org kurt@leadinglds.org (LeadingLDS) Leading in the LDS (Mormon) World LeadingLDS Podcast https://leadinglds.org/wp-content/uploads/powerpress/Leading_LDS_Podcast_Logo.png https://leadinglds.org TV-PG Weekly Donate to Support LeadingLDS When Tragedy Strikes the Bishop’s Family | An Interview with Jim Hastings https://leadinglds.org/when-tragedy-strikes-the-bishops-family-an-interview-with-jim-hastings/ Mon, 13 Aug 2018 13:48:38 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=43245 Jim Hastings is a bishop in Dallas, Texas. He and his wife have been married 23 years and have five children. About three years ago during the time he was serving as bishop, his 19-year-old daughter, Zoe, was kidnapped and murdered. In this interview, he talks about that experience and other experiences dealing with grief and tragedy as a bishop. Highlights 1:00 Personal background 3:00 Calling as a bishop 6:30 About his daughter, Zoe 11:00 Narrative of his experience with Zoe's abduction and murder 24:00 Personal reactions through the experience 28:30 Previous experience with losing his dad and coming to terms with death 31:00 How he handled the emotional trauma; support and therapy experience 35:30 Support needs from neighbors and ward members 40:00 Forgiveness in a situation like this 47:30 Serving as bishop during this experience 54:00 Gratitude for the tools he was given to handle the experience 57:00 Approaching individuals experiencing trials 1:00:00 Using a bishop's checklist for funerals to support and help the family left behind 1:06:30 The Savior can help us make connections between past experience and preparation for future experiences Links Troy and John Interview Bishop's checklist for helping with funerals (coming soon) Jim Hastings is a bishop in Dallas, Texas. He and his wife have been married 23 years and have five children. About three years ago during the time he was serving as bishop, his 19-year-old daughter, Zoe, was kidnapped and murdered. In this interview, he talks about that experience and other experiences dealing with grief and tragedy as a bishop.

Highlights

1:00 Personal background
3:00 Calling as a bishop
6:30 About his daughter, Zoe
11:00 Narrative of his experience with Zoe’s abduction and murder
24:00 Personal reactions through the experience
28:30 Previous experience with losing his dad and coming to terms with death
31:00 How he handled the emotional trauma; support and therapy experience
35:30 Support needs from neighbors and ward members
40:00 Forgiveness in a situation like this
47:30 Serving as bishop during this experience
54:00 Gratitude for the tools he was given to handle the experience
57:00 Approaching individuals experiencing trials
1:00:00 Using a bishop’s checklist for funerals to support and help the family left behind
1:06:30 The Savior can help us make connections between past experience and preparation for future experiences

Links

Troy and John Interview

Bishop’s checklist for helping with funerals (coming soon)

]]>
Jim Hastings is a bishop in Dallas, Texas. He and his wife have been married 23 years and have five children. About three years ago during the time he was serving as bishop, his 19-year-old daughter, Zoe, was kidnapped and murdered. In this interview, Highlights
1:00 Personal background
3:00 Calling as a bishop
6:30 About his daughter, Zoe
11:00 Narrative of his experience with Zoe's abduction and murder
24:00 Personal reactions through the experience
28:30 Previous experience with losing his dad and coming to terms with death
31:00 How he handled the emotional trauma; support and therapy experience
35:30 Support needs from neighbors and ward members
40:00 Forgiveness in a situation like this
47:30 Serving as bishop during this experience
54:00 Gratitude for the tools he was given to handle the experience
57:00 Approaching individuals experiencing trials
1:00:00 Using a bishop's checklist for funerals to support and help the family left behind
1:06:30 The Savior can help us make connections between past experience and preparation for future experiences
Links
Troy and John Interview

Bishop's checklist for helping with funerals (coming soon)



]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:05:51
Join Us at the Moral & Ethical Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City, Utah | Sept. 14 https://leadinglds.org/join-us-at-the-moral-ethical-leadership-conference-in-salt-lake-city-utah-sept-14/ Fri, 10 Aug 2018 14:00:12 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=43255 Last year I (Kurt) attended the Moral & Ethical Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City and left the conference inspired and feeling like a better-prepared leader. I am excited to attend again this year on September 14 in Salt Lake City, Utah and I'd love to meet you there. Be sure to listen to the attached podcast episode where David Austin, Vice President of the BYU Management Society Salt Lake Chapter, discusses the conference and what will be experienced there. To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page) ***EARLY BIRD PRICING ENDS AUGUST 15 - ACT NOW!*** Please let us know if you plan to attend the conference so that we can notify you of a special LeadingLDS gathering that will happen in conjunction with the event. Conference Speakers Event Details To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page) Last year I (Kurt) attended the Moral & Ethical Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City and left the conference inspired and feeling like a better-prepared leader. I am excited to attend again this year on September 14 in Salt Lake City, Utah and I’d love to meet you there.

Be sure to listen to the attached podcast episode where David Austin, Vice President of the BYU Management Society Salt Lake Chapter, discusses the conference and what will be experienced there.

To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page)

***EARLY BIRD PRICING ENDS AUGUST 15 – ACT NOW!***

Please let us know if you plan to attend the conference so that we can notify you of a special LeadingLDS gathering that will happen in conjunction with the event.

Conference Speakers

Event Details

To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page)

]]>
Last year I (Kurt) attended the Moral & Ethical Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City and left the conference inspired and feeling like a better-prepared leader. I am excited to attend again this year on September 14 in Salt Lake City,
Be sure to listen to the attached podcast episode where David Austin, Vice President of the BYU Management Society Salt Lake Chapter, discusses the conference and what will be experienced there.

To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page)

***EARLY BIRD PRICING ENDS AUGUST 15 - ACT NOW!***

Please let us know if you plan to attend the conference so that we can notify you of a special LeadingLDS gathering that will happen in conjunction with the event.
Conference Speakers

Event Details


To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page)]]>
LeadingLDS clean 14:57
Leading Others to be Better Than Happy | An Interview with Jody Moore https://leadinglds.org/leading-others-to-be-better-than-happy-an-interview-with-jody-moore/ Sun, 05 Aug 2018 07:00:44 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=43159 Jody Moore is a life coach and is well-known for her podcast, Better Than Happy. Her background is in corporate training and leadership coaching, and she has a master's degree in Adult Education and Training. She is a Certified Coach through The Life Coach School and works primarily with women who want to move from good to great in their lives. She enjoys helping people navigate topics such as relationships, confidence, and money, and works to guide them with tools based in cognitive functioning, understanding their own brains, and how emotions drive us to action. Born & raised LDS, Jody followed her own journey to find her testimony. Her husband is her business partner and they live in Spokane, Washington, with their four children. Highlights 14:30 Advice for Bishops specifically related to LDS Women: the root of problems stems from not understanding their own value. Women tend to be harder on themselves. Love them All must be on their own journey to learn and understand worth Divide the doctrine from the culture of the church It's ok to feel negative emotions. “Opposition in all things”. Reading, studying scriptures are important but you will still feel sad, mad, etc. at times. 18:45 What do we need to know about feelings to help us appreciate the journey. Unhealthy ways to deal with emotions: Resisting feelings – we do it, but it is not healthy Escaping feelings – we do it, but again not healthy (sugar, alcohol, shopping, pornography) Healthy response to feelings/emotions - just FEEL the emotion. Relax into the emotion, breathe into it. It’s ok to be sad, we need to learn to work through the emotions. 23:00 Difference between Clean pain (loss) and Dirty pain (gossip, resentment, natural man) 25:00 Typical trends for women, her 5 pillars in coaching: Relationships – women get sense of joy and fulfillment from relationships Health – physical, mental & emotional health Money – healthy relationship with money Confidence – recognizing own value, requires practice Contribution – basic human need to contribute to society, sometimes with raising kids, others with working Advice for RS president to affect contribution: Ministering requires more spiritual maturity. Keep all “involved in the discussion”. Church seems a good model for contribution and fulfilment, but many are not fulfilled with this activity. Not “what am I doing” but “why am I doing it” will create feeling of fulfillment. Don’t resent what you are doing, life is too short. “People pleasers are liars.” How do we operate in full integrity. We need to work to get to a place where we “want” to do things that are asked. AND – it is ok to say no. Appreciate being asked, but it’s ok to say No. Find a loving reason to do things. Culture of the church is prescriptive, the Doctrine of the church is NOT. We need to be careful when we make decisions, that we are following the doctrine and less concerned about the culture. 39:45 Advice for leaders to stimulate healthy Relationships: We are aware of people outside of us but we cannot control them. We can control ourselves. “Who do I want to be in this situation?” How do I feel about me when I think poorly of this other person? How do I want to feel? Realizing that we can’t be for everyone, but we can still show love 46:20 Health – we are healthy in relation to the rest of the world. Culture of the church hangs on to the “no’s”, but we need to see individually what in our own lives is disconnecting me. 48:50 Money – helping people get to a more abundant mindset, realize all you have. It’s not about having more, but doing with what we have 52:20 Confidence – difference between pride and confidence. We are all equally valuable and we are always told “you are a child of God”. We need to believe that and have that relationship with ourselves. We need to speak to ourselves as we would speak to our sister. Don’t deflect. Jody Moore is a life coach and is well-known for her podcast, Better Than Happy. Her background is in corporate training and leadership coaching, and she has a master’s degree in Adult Education and Training. She is a Certified Coach through The Life Coach School and works primarily with women who want to move from good to great in their lives. She enjoys helping people navigate topics such as relationships, confidence, and money, and works to guide them with tools based in cognitive functioning, understanding their own brains, and how emotions drive us to action. Born & raised LDS, Jody followed her own journey to find her testimony. Her husband is her business partner and they live in Spokane, Washington, with their four children.

Highlights

14:30 Advice for Bishops specifically related to LDS Women: the root of problems stems from not understanding their own value. Women tend to be harder on themselves.

  • Love them
  • All must be on their own journey to learn and understand worth
  • Divide the doctrine from the culture of the church
  • It’s ok to feel negative emotions. “Opposition in all things”. Reading, studying scriptures are important but you will still feel sad, mad, etc. at times.

18:45 What do we need to know about feelings to help us appreciate the journey.

  • Unhealthy ways to deal with emotions:
    1. Resisting feelings – we do it, but it is not healthy
    2. Escaping feelings – we do it, but again not healthy (sugar, alcohol, shopping, pornography)
  • Healthy response to feelings/emotions – just FEEL the emotion. Relax into the emotion, breathe into it. It’s ok to be sad, we need to learn to work through the emotions.

23:00 Difference between Clean pain (loss) and Dirty pain (gossip, resentment, natural man)
25:00 Typical trends for women, her 5 pillars in coaching:

  1. Relationships – women get sense of joy and fulfillment from relationships
  2. Health – physical, mental & emotional health
  3. Money – healthy relationship with money
  4. Confidence – recognizing own value, requires practice
  5. Contribution – basic human need to contribute to society, sometimes with raising kids, others with working
  • Advice for RS president to affect contribution: Ministering requires more spiritual maturity. Keep all “involved in the discussion”.
    Church seems a good model for contribution and fulfilment, but many are not fulfilled with this activity. Not “what am I doing” but “why am I doing it” will create feeling of fulfillment.
  • Don’t resent what you are doing, life is too short. “People pleasers are liars.” How do we operate in full integrity. We need to work to get to a place where we “want” to do things that are asked. AND – it is ok to say no. Appreciate being asked, but it’s ok to say No. Find a loving reason to do things.
  • Culture of the church is prescriptive, the Doctrine of the church is NOT. We need to be careful when we make decisions, that we are following the doctrine and less concerned about the culture.

39:45 Advice for leaders to stimulate healthy Relationships:

  • We are aware of people outside of us but we cannot control them. We can control ourselves. “Who do I want to be in this situation?” How do I feel about me when I think poorly of this other person? How do I want to feel?
  • Realizing that we can’t be for everyone, but we can still show love

46:20 Health – we are healthy in relation to the rest of the world. Culture of the church hangs on to the “no’s”, but we need to see individually what in our own lives is disconnecting me.
48:50 Money – helping people get to a more abundant mindset, realize all you have. It’s not about having more, but doing with what we have
52:20 Confidence – difference between pride and confidence. We are all equally valuable and we are always told “you are a child of God”. We need to believe that and have that relationship with ourselves. We need to speak to ourselves as we would speak to our sister. Don’t deflect. Confidence doesn’t mean we are good at everything but owning and embracing all parts of ourselves.

  • How can leaders use resources such as life coaches vs. counseling? Make recommendations, direct to free podcasts, webinars.

Links

JodyMoore.com
Better than Happy podcast

]]>
Jody Moore is a life coach and is well-known for her podcast, Better Than Happy. Her background is in corporate training and leadership coaching, and she has a master's degree in Adult Education and Training. Highlights
14:30 Advice for Bishops specifically related to LDS Women: the root of problems stems from not understanding their own value. Women tend to be harder on themselves.


* Love them
* All must be on their own journey to learn and understand worth
* Divide the doctrine from the culture of the church
* It's ok to feel negative emotions. “Opposition in all things”. Reading, studying scriptures are important but you will still feel sad, mad, etc. at times.

18:45 What do we need to know about feelings to help us appreciate the journey.


* Unhealthy ways to deal with emotions:

* Resisting feelings – we do it, but it is not healthy
* Escaping feelings – we do it, but again not healthy (sugar, alcohol, shopping, pornography)


* Healthy response to feelings/emotions - just FEEL the emotion. Relax into the emotion, breathe into it. It’s ok to be sad, we need to learn to work through the emotions.

23:00 Difference between Clean pain (loss) and Dirty pain (gossip, resentment, natural man)
25:00 Typical trends for women, her 5 pillars in coaching:


* Relationships – women get sense of joy and fulfillment from relationships
* Health – physical, mental & emotional health
* Money – healthy relationship with money
* Confidence – recognizing own value, requires practice
* Contribution – basic human need to contribute to society, sometimes with raising kids, others with working


* Advice for RS president to affect contribution: Ministering requires more spiritual maturity. Keep all “involved in the discussion”.
Church seems a good model for contribution and fulfilment, but many are not fulfilled with this activity. Not “what am I doing” but “why am I doing it” will create feeling of fulfillment.
* Don’t resent what you are doing, life is too short. “People pleasers are liars.” How do we operate in full integrity. We need to work to get to a place where we “want” to do things that are asked. AND – it is ok to say no. Appreciate being asked, but it’s ok to say No. Find a loving reason to do things.
* Culture of the church is prescriptive, the Doctrine of the church is NOT. We need to be careful when we make decisions, that we are following the doctrine and less concerned about the culture.

39:45 Advice for leaders to stimulate healthy Relationships:


* We are aware of people outside of us but we cannot control them. We can control ourselves. “Who do I want to be in this situation?” How do I feel about me when I think poorly of this other person? How do I want to feel?
* Realizing that we can’t be for everyone, but we can still show love

46:20 Health – we are healthy in relation to the rest of the world. Culture of the church hangs on to the “no’s”, but we need to see individually what in our own lives is disconnecting me.
48:50 Money – helping people get to a more abundant mindset, realize all you have. It’s not about having more,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:01:16
Grace in the Bishop’s Office | An Interview with Robert Millet https://leadinglds.org/grace-in-the-bishops-office-an-interview-with-robert-millet/ Tue, 31 Jul 2018 16:04:54 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=43033 Robert Millet, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and professor of ancient scripture and emeritus Dean of Religious Education at Brigham Young University. Author of 76 published works, Millet has been involved in BYU Education Week for many years and is well-known as a commentator on the BYUTV Scripture Discussions program. He is also Manager of Outreach and Interfaith Relations for the LDS Church's Public Affairs Department. Highlights 6:45 Experiences with the scripture discussion series on KBYU 10:00 Teaching and administrative experience at BYU 11:45 His experience writing 77 books 13:30 What led him to write The Atoning One and the growth of a Christ-conscious movement in the LDS Church 24:30 Teaching doctrine in Sunday School 29:00 Importance of knowledgeable teachers 31:45 Creating an environment where class members feel safe to be vulnerable 37:30 The leader’s role in correcting doctrine and creating safety at church 43:00 The Atonement and grace in the Bishop’s office 44:00 The Bishop should always be teaching kindly 45:00 The Bishop as a channel for God’s grace 53:00 Teach what the steps of repentance mean and give study assignments 55:30 Bring closure to the individual 58:15 Don’t take the fast track to repentance 1:01:30 Leadership offers the opportunity to see others as the Lord sees them Links BYUTV Scripture Discussions The Atoning One Image: LDS Living/Deseret Book Robert Millet, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and professor of ancient scripture and emeritus Dean of Religious Education at Brigham Young University. Author of 76 published works, Millet has been involved in BYU Education Week for many years and is well-known as a commentator on the BYUTV Scripture Discussions program. He is also Manager of Outreach and Interfaith Relations for the LDS Church’s Public Affairs Department.

Highlights

6:45 Experiences with the scripture discussion series on KBYU
10:00 Teaching and administrative experience at BYU
11:45 His experience writing 77 books
13:30 What led him to write The Atoning One and the growth of a Christ-conscious movement in the LDS Church
24:30 Teaching doctrine in Sunday School
29:00 Importance of knowledgeable teachers
31:45 Creating an environment where class members feel safe to be vulnerable
37:30 The leader’s role in correcting doctrine and creating safety at church
43:00 The Atonement and grace in the Bishop’s office
44:00 The Bishop should always be teaching kindly
45:00 The Bishop as a channel for God’s grace
53:00 Teach what the steps of repentance mean and give study assignments
55:30 Bring closure to the individual
58:15 Don’t take the fast track to repentance
1:01:30 Leadership offers the opportunity to see others as the Lord sees them

Links

BYUTV Scripture Discussions
The Atoning One

Image: LDS Living/Deseret Book

]]>
Robert Millet, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and professor of ancient scripture and emeritus Dean of Religious Education at Brigham Young University. Author of 76 published works, Millet has been involved in BYU Education Week for many years and is wel... Highlights
6:45 Experiences with the scripture discussion series on KBYU
10:00 Teaching and administrative experience at BYU
11:45 His experience writing 77 books
13:30 What led him to write The Atoning One and the growth of a Christ-conscious movement in the LDS Church
24:30 Teaching doctrine in Sunday School
29:00 Importance of knowledgeable teachers
31:45 Creating an environment where class members feel safe to be vulnerable
37:30 The leader’s role in correcting doctrine and creating safety at church
43:00 The Atonement and grace in the Bishop’s office
44:00 The Bishop should always be teaching kindly
45:00 The Bishop as a channel for God’s grace
53:00 Teach what the steps of repentance mean and give study assignments
55:30 Bring closure to the individual
58:15 Don’t take the fast track to repentance
1:01:30 Leadership offers the opportunity to see others as the Lord sees them
Links
BYUTV Scripture Discussions
The Atoning One

Image: LDS Living/Deseret Book]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:00:10
How I Lead the Youth Through Truth & Doctrine | An Interview with Erin Tanner https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-the-youth-through-truth-doctrine-an-interview-with-erin-tanner/ Sun, 22 Jul 2018 07:00:26 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=42709 Erin Tanner lives in Cortez, Colorado, and is the mother of three children. She served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Along with being a youth leader she has been a presenter at Especially For Youth for three summers. Highlights 4:49 Youth come hungry to learn the gospel. 5:17 Data shows testimony growth is attributed most to four years of seminary and second to that was attendance at EFY. 7:19 EFY happens through the Church Education System. It is held throughout the country at various locations. 7:46 They have different varieties of EFY such as, outdoor, humanitarian, and adventure for youth. 8:43 Leaders could become familiar with EFY options and help encourage youth to attend the one that is best for them. 8:51 EFY has a scholarship program to help cover some of the cost. 11:07 Young Women Ideas: Harry Potter Young Women in Excellence theme, and a Harry Potter New Beginnings. 12:31 Be a window. Have the youth leave knowing their Heavenly Father loves them instead of thinking their leader is cool. 16:20 Pull back and be intentional. 17:50 Teaching with object lessons. 19:04 Have fun with the youth and allow fun to happen. 26:46 Be a useful instrument. You don’t have to do it all and be all. Look to those around you for help. 29:29 Fill your mind with truth. Turn to the scriptures, podcasts, and conference talks. 33:02 Let the scriptures wash over you. 33:46 Teach true doctrine. 40:46 Help the youth learn where to go to find answers. Teach clear doctrine. 41:46 Use Pinterest to log ideas and customize them for your young women. 48:43 Be authentic and genuine. Be a follower of Christ. Links Especially For Youth The Divine Center, by Stephen Covey YW in Excellence Value Pageant YW in Excellence and New Beginnings w/ a Harry Potter theme Erin Tanner lives in Cortez, Colorado, and is the mother of three children. She served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Along with being a youth leader she has been a presenter at Especially For Youth for three summers.

Highlights

4:49 Youth come hungry to learn the gospel.
5:17 Data shows testimony growth is attributed most to four years of seminary and second to that was attendance at EFY.
7:19 EFY happens through the Church Education System. It is held throughout the country at various locations.
7:46 They have different varieties of EFY such as, outdoor, humanitarian, and adventure for youth.
8:43 Leaders could become familiar with EFY options and help encourage youth to attend the one that is best for them.
8:51 EFY has a scholarship program to help cover some of the cost.
11:07 Young Women Ideas: Harry Potter Young Women in Excellence theme, and a Harry Potter New Beginnings.
12:31 Be a window. Have the youth leave knowing their Heavenly Father loves them instead of thinking their leader is cool.
16:20 Pull back and be intentional.
17:50 Teaching with object lessons.
19:04 Have fun with the youth and allow fun to happen.
26:46 Be a useful instrument. You don’t have to do it all and be all. Look to those around you for help.
29:29 Fill your mind with truth. Turn to the scriptures, podcasts, and conference talks.
33:02 Let the scriptures wash over you.
33:46 Teach true doctrine.
40:46 Help the youth learn where to go to find answers. Teach clear doctrine.
41:46 Use Pinterest to log ideas and customize them for your young women.
48:43 Be authentic and genuine. Be a follower of Christ.

Links

Especially For Youth
The Divine Center, by Stephen Covey
YW in Excellence Value Pageant
YW in Excellence and New Beginnings w/ a Harry Potter theme

]]>
Erin Tanner lives in Cortez, Colorado, and is the mother of three children. She served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Along with being a youth leader she has been a presenter at Especially For Youth for three summers. Highlights
4:49 Youth come hungry to learn the gospel.
5:17 Data shows testimony growth is attributed most to four years of seminary and second to that was attendance at EFY.
7:19 EFY happens through the Church Education System. It is held throughout the country at various locations.
7:46 They have different varieties of EFY such as, outdoor, humanitarian, and adventure for youth.
8:43 Leaders could become familiar with EFY options and help encourage youth to attend the one that is best for them.
8:51 EFY has a scholarship program to help cover some of the cost.
11:07 Young Women Ideas: Harry Potter Young Women in Excellence theme, and a Harry Potter New Beginnings.
12:31 Be a window. Have the youth leave knowing their Heavenly Father loves them instead of thinking their leader is cool.
16:20 Pull back and be intentional.
17:50 Teaching with object lessons.
19:04 Have fun with the youth and allow fun to happen.
26:46 Be a useful instrument. You don’t have to do it all and be all. Look to those around you for help.
29:29 Fill your mind with truth. Turn to the scriptures, podcasts, and conference talks.
33:02 Let the scriptures wash over you.
33:46 Teach true doctrine.
40:46 Help the youth learn where to go to find answers. Teach clear doctrine.
41:46 Use Pinterest to log ideas and customize them for your young women.
48:43 Be authentic and genuine. Be a follower of Christ.
Links
Especially For Youth
The Divine Center, by Stephen Covey
YW in Excellence Value Pageant
YW in Excellence and New Beginnings w/ a Harry Potter theme]]>
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Leading Early Returned Missionaries | An Interview with Destiny Yarbro https://leadinglds.org/leading-early-returned-missionaries-an-interview-with-destiny-yarbro/ Sun, 15 Jul 2018 07:00:45 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=42534 Destiny Yarbro is the author of Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission and maintains a related website with resources for early returned missionaries. She served in the Hungary, Budapest mission but had to return home early and recognized the universal struggle of missionaries whose missions were cut short for whatever reason. Destiny grew up in Prescott, Arizona, and lives there now. Highlights 02:15 Background and mission experience 16:30 The ward and stake follows the example of the Bishop: Treat them like any other missionary coming home — 18:30 When transgression is involved, coming home is the first step forward — 21:45 Importance of the first Sunday home — 24:15 Finding some way to keep them involved — 25:45 Discussing the return announcement with the missionary — 26:15 Examples 27:45 Meeting with parents/family prior to the missionary's return to offer suggestions and support 34:15 Meeting with the early returned missionary immediately and often — 36:30 Healing suggestions for the missionary — 38:30 "Normal" experiences and universal need for professional counseling — 40:30 Worries about people they didn't teach 41:15 Addressing the question of returning to the mission... or not — 42:15 Different mission options: online and young church service missionaries — 44:15 Approaching the subject with the missionary — 45:30 Dealing with change from serving to being the subject of attention 47:15 Points for the ward council and ward members 50:15 Mission Fortify recommendation 51:00 Advice for early returned missionaries 51:45 The Atonement takes difficulties and turns them into opportunities to serve others Links Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission Earlyrm.com LDS.org: Young Church Service Missionaries Mission Fortify: firesides and online support Written Transcript Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today we're talking with Destiny Yarbro. How are you, Destiny? Destiny Yarbro: Doing well, thanks Kurt. LLDS: Awesome. Now, what does the Leading LDS audience need to know about you and what led you to be a guest on this podcast? Destiny Yarbro: Well, I grew up in a small town. I wanted to go on a mission for a long time and when I finally got the opportunity (06:00) to go things went very differently than I planned, I had to come home early for health reasons and thankfully I was able to go back out, but I was only able to go back out for another three or four months. And then I had to come home again. So, I got that experience twice. LLDS: So, take us back to when you opened up your call. Where did you expect to go or want to go? Any inclination one way or the other and then where did you end up going? Destiny Yarbro: I wanted to go anywhere, but, I hope this doesn't offend (06:30) anyone, but except for Albuquerque. Good people in Albuquerque, but for some reason that's the place I didn't want to go. So, when I opened my call, and I opened it by myself because I was convinced I was going to Albuquerque and I needed some time to process. So, I opened up my call by myself and it was to the Budapest, Hungary Mission and it blew me away. I did not expect that at all. LLDS: So where were you living at this time when you opened the call? Destiny Yarbro: I was living in Arizona (07:00), but I was on the steps of the St. George Temple at about 11:00 at night. Anyway. It was great! LLDS: And so, there's no reason or there was not a specific prompting you had that you thought Albuquerque, but nonetheless you convinced yourself that- Destiny Yarbro: I mean, you always hear those stories of those people who go to places they didn't want to go, I guess that became the reason why I thought I was going to Albuquerque. Yup. LLDS: Then you went to the Provo MTC, I assume. Destiny Yarbro: Yup, Provo MTC. We were in the impossible language hallway. That's what we called it. (07:30) The Hallway that you're just there forever learnin... Destiny Yarbro is the author of Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission and maintains a related website with resources for early returned missionaries. She served in the Hungary, Budapest mission but had to return home early and recognized the universal struggle of missionaries whose missions were cut short for whatever reason. Destiny grew up in Prescott, Arizona, and lives there now.

Highlights

02:15 Background and mission experience
16:30 The ward and stake follows the example of the Bishop: Treat them like any other missionary coming home
— 18:30 When transgression is involved, coming home is the first step forward
— 21:45 Importance of the first Sunday home
— 24:15 Finding some way to keep them involved
— 25:45 Discussing the return announcement with the missionary
— 26:15 Examples
27:45 Meeting with parents/family prior to the missionary’s return to offer suggestions and support
34:15 Meeting with the early returned missionary immediately and often
— 36:30 Healing suggestions for the missionary
— 38:30 “Normal” experiences and universal need for professional counseling
— 40:30 Worries about people they didn’t teach
41:15 Addressing the question of returning to the mission… or not
— 42:15 Different mission options: online and young church service missionaries
— 44:15 Approaching the subject with the missionary
— 45:30 Dealing with change from serving to being the subject of attention
47:15 Points for the ward council and ward members
50:15 Mission Fortify recommendation
51:00 Advice for early returned missionaries
51:45 The Atonement takes difficulties and turns them into opportunities to serve others

Links

Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission
Earlyrm.com
LDS.org: Young Church Service Missionaries
Mission Fortify: firesides and online support

Written Transcript

Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today we’re talking with Destiny Yarbro. How are you, Destiny?

Destiny Yarbro: Doing well, thanks Kurt.

LLDS: Awesome. Now, what does the Leading LDS audience need to know about you and what led you to be a guest on this podcast?

Destiny Yarbro: Well, I grew up in a small town. I wanted to go on a mission for a long time and when I finally got the opportunity (06:00) to go things went very differently than I planned, I had to come home early for health reasons and thankfully I was able to go back out, but I was only able to go back out for another three or four months. And then I had to come home again. So, I got that experience twice.

LLDS: So, take us back to when you opened up your call. Where did you expect to go or want to go? Any inclination one way or the other and then where did you end up going?

Destiny Yarbro: I wanted to go anywhere, but, I hope this doesn’t offend (06:30) anyone, but except for Albuquerque. Good people in Albuquerque, but for some reason that’s the place I didn’t want to go. So, when I opened my call, and I opened it by myself because I was convinced I was going to Albuquerque and I needed some time to process. So, I opened up my call by myself and it was to the Budapest, Hungary Mission and it blew me away. I did not expect that at all.

LLDS: So where were you living at this time when you opened the call?

Destiny Yarbro: I was living in Arizona (07:00), but I was on the steps of the St. George Temple at about 11:00 at night. Anyway. It was great!

LLDS: And so, there’s no reason or there was not a specific prompting you had that you thought Albuquerque, but nonetheless you convinced yourself that-

Destiny Yarbro: I mean, you always hear those stories of those people who go to places they didn’t want to go, I guess that became the reason why I thought I was going to Albuquerque. Yup.

LLDS: Then you went to the Provo MTC, I assume.

Destiny Yarbro: Yup, Provo MTC. We were in the impossible language hallway. That’s what we called it. (07:30) The Hallway that you’re just there forever learning your language and watching all the Spanish elders come through and leave.

LLDS: And so, tell us about how long was it in your mission until you realized, uh, there may be, this isn’t the traditional experience. And then those conversations that started that led to you returning home.

Destiny Yarbro: So, it was actually week ten at the MTC. I got really sick and so this is the first time I got really sick and I started improving. So, I thought I’d (08:00) be able to stay, but the MTC president pulled me in and said I would go home and we’d make sure that everything was good to go. It was a one-time thing. I’ve never had any health problems before. And so, he said, let’s just make sure it straightened out. And then resubmit your papers and come back out.

LLDS: So, you hadn’t even made it a Hungary?

Destiny Yarbro: Nope. I’d fallen in love with the language, but no I hadn’t made it to Hungary yet and my parents came and picked me up at the MTC, which was a very hard day, and then we drove (08:30) all the way back down to Arizona and I just was determined to get back out on the mission. There wasn’t any other option in my head. This was a fluke or just a short-term trial I thought.

LLDS: Yeah, and then I’d assume there are a variety of doctors’ visits and checkups and sign-offs before you were able to be approved to go out and obviously probably meeting with your bishop and stake president and so how long before you got the good-to-go? (09:00)

Destiny Yarbro: It was actually only about six weeks because it was again this fluke thing, we thought it was a one-time thing, came out of nowhere, disappeared pretty quickly, and it was just like, “Well that happened”. We’re good to go, I passed all the physical tests. Pretty rigorous and lived the MTC life-style as best I could and lived the MTC schedule while I was home and then I was shocked to get a phone call one day that said, “Can you be in the MTC tomorrow and head out with the next Hungarian group? We want you to spend two weeks in the MTC and just see how your health does. And then we’ll send you back out.” So, they were really working with me, which was awesome.

LLDS: (09:30) Yeah, because I would imagine a lot of, you know, there are various health problems, but I’m sure the MTC sees a correlation between the stress of mission life and health problems. Right? So-

Destiny Yarbro: I mean I have no doubt because I think they want to make sure that, and I think they’ve improved a lot since then too, as far as wanting to make sure that a missionary has a holistic approach to their mission. There’s the Adjusting to Missionary Life handbook that just came out that’s awesome. They’re working on it.

LLDS: Yeah. Perfect. So, then you head out (10:00) and you make it Hungary.

Destiny Yarbro: Finally made it to Hungary! Best day of my life! I’m shocked to still be called to Hungary. I thought that wasn’t going to happen. And I arrived. I was assigned to the most amazing trainer on the planet. I’m convinced all my mom’s prayers went into my trainer because she was perfect and we just worked and it was- I remember one day I was- were running home in the rain, we were so late to get home on time. We made it on time, but we were running as fast (10:30) as we could go and it’s pouring rain, we’re freezing, and I just had this huge grin and I looked over and I was like, “I’m a missionary!” I was so excited to be a missionary. This is the hardest step I was planning on. I played on that. They told me all about it and that’s what I’d always hoped for and dreamed for.

LLDS: Wow. So, you had made it and you’re living the dream.

Destiny Yarbro: Oh yeah. Soaked it in, all the closed doors, and that we were teaching a second lesson and all that wonderful stuff.

LLDS: So how long did that dream last before suddenly (11:00) it took another turn?

Destiny Yarbro: You know, some of it is kind of fuzzy in my memory especially because it was kind of traumatic when the same health problems started happening back up again. And of course, the first time it happened, this time it came with the anxiety because I was like, “oh no if we don’t get this under control, what’s going to happen?” And sure, enough it just kept getting worse and worse. We kept trying to work through it, my companion and I. She recognized that I would probably go home much earlier (11:30) than I did or at least much earlier than I would admit and she knew that it was important that I kept working to some degree, so we did the best we could up until then. Then I went to the mission home for a couple of weeks. They tried to see if I could get my health back up and going again and I could work instead of home.

LLDS: And so, was there an official moment when your stake president or someone came to you and said, you know, this is, we’re probably not going to send you out again?

Destiny Yarbro: No. (12:00) Just that I had heard that there wasn’t an option of coming back after going home a second time. There isn’t really a going back out option.

LLDS: Okay. And I guess that is- that pretty typical then?

Destiny Yarbro: I think so. I have never seen a policy per say, but I get the feeling that that was kind of the case. But maybe you can wait another five years and then try again, I don’t know.

LLDS: Yeah. Especially if it’s appearing like a chronic type of illness that-

Destiny Yarbro: And this time it’s just getting worse and worse because we were just trying to push through it. Just (12:30) deny it and keep moving forward and hopefully, I can stay on my mission and pray for miracles, which was hard.

LLDS: And Janell Walker, she says, “I’m grateful that you’re covering this topic.” This is on our Facebook live. “My question would be, is it different for those who experienced health issues coming home at first, a sin or transgression issue or someone who goes out and just feels like they weren’t ready for the mission, etc., and come home?” And, Destiny, this is the theme of our conversation today because (13:00) since you’ve returned home, you’ve had the opportunity to touch on the subject, even to the point of writing a book that’s called Home Early, Now What? And then you’ve also created an online resource called earlyrm.com, right? And you cover- it’s hard to say that every situation can be addressed the same or approached the same, but there are some broader topics and generalities that maybe we could get better (13:30) right?

Destiny Yarbro: With my book, I knew that my experiences were one person’s experience. And I didn’t handle it very well. So, I’m not the expert. But I realized that we needed to have some resources, and there wasn’t much, and so I started interviewing tons of different missionaries. So thankfully the book has quotes, and perspectives, and suggestions from our writing missionaries, including those who came home for various transgression reasons. And that’s a broad topic, that there’s everything from those who had an addiction that kept popping up again, or those who are with the companion (14:00) who made poor decisions, to the willful rebellions. There are so many different groups under that canopy, I guess.

LLDS: Yeah, and I think that’s a wise approach that you’ve done to reach out to other individuals who’ve returned home early because your story is just yours. Right? And that’s similar to what we’re trying to do at Leading LDS. I can talk about my experience in church leadership, but it’s only my experience and it’s not going to fit for everybody. And so, the fact that you’ve talked with literally hundreds of early return missionaries is (14:30) valid effort and we’re grateful we have this resource.

Destiny Yarbro: Well, I hope today that even though you hear my own story, that that doesn’t become the face of an early return missionary because that’s definitely not the case; my situation is very unique. But I did, during all those interviews, I found about five pain points such as that for Sunday home, fear of failure, wondering if you’d ever feel okay about your mission again, those points that across the board, no matter (15:00) the reason why you came home.

LLDS: And obviously we encourage people to go check out her book you can find it- Everybody knows how to find a book on Amazon. It’s there. You can download it today or get a copy mailed to you and jump into those five points. But we want to hit those five points and really these topics from the perspective of a church leader. Obviously, that’s the audience that we strive to serve and create resources for at Leading LDS. And so, you’ve gone through and maybe put a handful of points together (15:30) as they relate to not only stake presidents and bishops, but also general leaders like on Ward Councils, youth leaders, those types of things. So, before we jump into that though, is there anything about your story- and we’ll obviously keep touching back to your story and hearing your experience- but anything else about your story that we need as context or to lay down a foundation before we jump into these points?

Destiny Yarbro: I think just sharing just a little bit of what I felt afterward might be helpful, especially because that is what these leaders are going to be navigating specifically. (16:00) I think across the board, nearly every missionary- every missionary that I spoke with struggled with feelings of failure. It definitely did not go according to plan. I say in my book, I’ve never met a missionary that at the airport said, “Goodbye Mom! See you in two weeks or see you in two months!” That never happens. No one ever plans on coming home early and yet, it does happen quite often. So, because I came home to a tiny town (16:30) that really hadn’t had other early return missionaries, I thought I had blown it. I thought I had messed something up or I wasn’t faithful enough to stick with it, or just a variety of things that Satan throws at you. Because I didn’t have anyone down the road that could say it’s hard right now, but there’s actually a lot of us that come home early and missions are measured very differently in the Lord’s eyes than sometimes we measure missions. But I struggled for about four and a half years. I didn’t talk about me mission much at all (17:00) to the point that I remember thinking like, “Will I ever tell my kids about a mission?” Because it hurts so much, it’s so painful. And I think bishops, leaders in general that often is the case across the board, especially depending on how a mission president handles it, and I say that gently because we have amazing mission presidents, but sometimes they don’t know how to handle it, and might say some things that a missionary clings to and it can cause some problems down the road.

LLDS: (17:30) Even as I’ve introduced this topic today on this episode, like using the term “early” return missionaries, that using “early” just has this negative connotation of “not complete” or there’s this flavor of a failure on that term. And so, I almost wish there was a better way to call it.

Destiny Yarbro: There’s no other way to talk about it really. But I would say its missionaries whose missions went differently than they anticipated or missionaries that came home at a different time than they anticipated. But that’s what I love (18:00) about the mission call is that it says in there that “it is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months” or “a period of two years”. I’m just so grateful for whoever thought of that word because that’s helpful.

LLDS: Yeah, for sure. For lack of a better term, early return missionaries is the best way to keep it concise. But with the knowledge that we have big hearts for these missionaries and we don’t want them to feel like failures or we don’t want them to avoid talking about their missions. And I’ve seen (18:30) that on both ends of that spectrum. I’ve known of individuals who literally served like two weeks in their foreign country and they talk about it as if they lived there and loved the people and tried every dish which is great! And they’re confident speaking too. Others who just act like, “well… You know, I…” They just avoid the subject altogether. And so, there’s a lot of those layers that it’s not just returning home early, but how do you address it the rest of your life? So, let’s start with the, (19:00) if this is a good point to do this, start with the first principle is as far as the ward and stake follow the example of the bishop and stake presidents. So, however, they will respond to this early return missionary, they’ll follow that.

Destiny Yarbro: Exactly. If a bishop stands up in front of a ward or whatever and says, “So-and-so came home. We are so grateful to have them back in the ward. We need their service. We love them so much. We’re grateful for the time they were able to serve.” Boy, that’s going to set a tone for that entire ward (19:30) that we’re welcoming back a member of our family no matter the reason why they came home; that they need extra support right now.

LLDS: I can imagine someone comes home with a health issue and then we feel bad that this- went that way, but it is what it is, and maybe the bishop could do the same, “Here’s your missionary plaque. It’s been hanging in the hallway and here it is for you to take home.” Go through the same processes and traditions that they go through. But as you’ve interviewed various missionaries, (20:00) what advice would you have for the early return missionary that’s returning because of a transgression or sort of a negative connotation that maybe they have a- maybe they just got through a disciplinary council, maybe they’re not even a member of the church anymore or they have that disciplinary council coming up. Right? So those are tough waters to wade to the point where I would assume a lot of bishops or stake president just say, okay, let’s just act like nothing’s happening. Let’s just don’t bring it up and let’s get through it. Right? But what advice have you learned as you’ve interviewed all these missionaries? (20:30)

Destiny Yarbro: Well, to be honest, there’s not going to be a one-size-fits-all, obviously. And thankfully the bishop and the stake president are entitled to keep. So, they’re going to be able to know for that individual’s circumstance. However, if they have come back to church, if they’re there, I’d like to talk about missionaries coming back early for transgression as a step forward. That it’s their first step in their repentance. Treating it that way, rather than a big step back. But saying, “okay, (21:00) the mission isn’t where you need to be right now. So thus, coming home is your first step. Let’s- Alright, what’s the next step?” That kind of approach can be so helpful for that missionary and knowing that now is the time that they can start going through the repentance process. So even though that disciplinary councils are coming in, all of that, even if the bishop says, “So-and-so’s home, we love him. We are so grateful to have a family member back in our ward family.” You know, something along those lines, that still sets the tone (21:30) that this is the person who’s hurting or who has gone through some really hard times. And a lot of the missionaries, they come forward to share that they needed to go home. And that is so incredibly courageous of them. Something that we can focus on rather than the reason why they came home.

LLDS: Yeah, I like putting it in that context. Because typically it feels like coming home from the mission is one of the consequences, not one of the steps, right, and so-

Destiny Yarbro: And it is. Right? It is a step. But I think how we approach it as leaders as ward (22:00) family members, can make or break that missionary. And that’s a little harsh to say, but we really can, but we don’t want to lose them. They’re still pretty young and are learning some hard lessons, but this is going to be one of the best opportunities that they can make it through, like Corianton in the scriptures that made some mistakes on his mission, but as far as you can tell, he really followed the advice of his parents and turned his life around and became a leader in the church again.

LLDS: This takes my mind to- (22:30) as far as talking about the repentance process, when I served as a bishop, many individuals going through the repentance process may be that one of the stipulations was that they weren’t- I would remove the sacrament- them participating in the sacraments or they are going through whatever it is that they were not going to participate in the sacrament. So, what they would do is just skip sacrament. Right? And so, we talk about that and get down to the doctrine of why we need you there. And they would be so petrified (23:00) that somebody would see them not take the sacrament. They would rather just skip the meeting altogether. And in this context, it is even magnified cause just if somebody sees you there, regardless of what you’re doing, that is- turns everybody thinking, “well, what are they doing here?” You know? And it’s just on a grander scale. And so that’s a tough situation to deal with as a leader that you want to show love, but just their presence there is making people jump to conclusions. (23:30)

Destiny Yarbro: Exactly. But again, this is talking about those who actually make it to church that Sunday. And that’s a huge step! So, if they make it there in their best effort that might be them saying, “I’m trying to stick around.” “I want to stick around.”

LLDS: Would you say, just from your experience interviewing these missionaries, do most of them not make it there that Sunday? Who would you say? Or…

Destiny Yarbro: I don’t know if I can give a statistic, I do know that quite a few go through some time not attending church. But (24:00) across the board, if an early return missionary, regardless of the reason why they came home, goes to church that first Sunday, the chances of them staying in the church and staying active, increase exponentially. So that first Sunday really is so important. Even if they just show up for a few minutes, take the sacrament and go home, it’s pretty important Which is why I encourage parents to help those missionaries to find a safe way that they feel comfortable with to go to church that first Sunday. But, again, according to the missionary’s needs and if (24:30) you’re in the hospital and such, of course, people can…

LLDS: Yeah sure, sure. And I think that’s a crucial thing that you can say because I think a lot of leaders would just assume, well, you know, of course, they’re going to be there. I mean, they were just serving a mission. Of course, they want to be at church, but I think it’s important for a leader to recognize if they walk in that door on Sunday, you know, obviously you’re hoping to do things to influence that to happen and help them feel that that’s a safe place, that they’re welcome there, but when they do, that’s a good sign.

Destiny Yarbro: (25:00) That’s a very good sign.

LLDS: Step one, right?

Destiny Yarbro: It’s a good step one because it’s so scary. Every missionary I talked to, I’d say, “Ok, now tell me about your first Sunday.” They inevitably go, “ughh” or something like that because it was just the most terrifying thing. And having done it twice, people who are surprised. members who are surprised often say things they would never say normally, but in that moment they don’t quite know what to say or they don’t know how to look at that person or they ignore the person, which sometimes feels even worse. And so that’s why I have lots of recommendations in my book for missionaries. But one of them is (25:30) reach out to a few friends and let them know ahead of time so that they can be around you like this little bubble of people who know that you’re home early and aren’t going to be surprised and that just as a kind of guidance, I guess, what they’re getting from many other members who, again, in their love might not know what to say. Which I have a recommendation for that a little bit later.

LLDS: Cool. So, going back to this main point of the bishop and stake president, the leader, the ward will follow their example. And so, obviously, if they walk (26:00) in, if the individual, the return missionary is there, great. Recognize them, show love. Anything else that you would suggest a leader could maybe do? And again, each situation is different but just generally speaking.

Destiny Yarbro: Yeah, for that Sunday, or the next few Sundays, getting them some kind of responsibility. So even if it came on for transcription, finding some way they can be involved in a service project or anything like that is helpful. If the missionary (26:30) can help wise they’re able to, or worthiness wise, if they’re able to bless the sacrament. Anything that shows this person is back in the ward. Now with that said, this missionary, might be totally in the middle of trauma and might not be able to do it. But offering that little welcome quietly as a bishop when one saying, “would you be willing to do this at some point? Let me know when it’s time.” That can be a really good thing. Again, anytime that you show a missionary that they are still a hundred percent a part of that ward family is (27:00) important, especially if that missionary might be navigating a lot of things with their immediate family.

LLDS: Yeah, and I think the overall message I’m learning from this discussion is not so much that there’s an a, b, c, d steps, but to be- don’t just act like nothing’s happening or try and bury it or not draw attention to it because that’s really where the shame is born. Right? And shame comes to the surface and that’s not helpful. Right? But (27:30) be proactive and you’re better off over loving than acting like, okay, let’s just get through the next few weeks and act like nothing’s happened and maybe nobody will notice.

Destiny Yarbro: Exactly. And, again, letting that missionary know ahead of time and asking them if they’re comfortable with you welcoming them in front of the ward. They might be awkward, but then you can say, I thought it might be better than having 100 conversations from here for the next few months individually with every single member. I thought it might help them recognize what’s going on and I don’t know. I wish I would’ve done (28:00) it that way. That’s for sure.

LLDS: John says on the Facebook live. I’ll never forget as an early missionary in my first area, the bishop’s son had gone on a mission just before I arrived. The son ended up returning after eight months or so. I remember going to priesthood meeting and noticed as everyone avoided eye contact. We’re pretending he wasn’t there. The returned missionary sat down in a row in front of where my companion and I were. Our Ward mission leader was directly behind the return (28:30) missionary next to us. He reached his hand over and put it on the return missionary shoulder. The returned missionary turned around and the ward missionary said, “cut it a bit short eh. It’s good to have you back. Welcome home.” What a great example I witnessed that day. Any thoughts on that? I mean…

Destiny Yarbro: I just remember one story about a missionary that had the same experience showed up at church and everyone was ignoring him and a little primary girl that he had taught before he left on his mission. Came running, booking down all the way down to the length of the (29:00) hallway. “Elder”, or you know whatever his name was. “I’ve missed you! It’s so good to have you home!”, shouting at the top of her lungs and just the example that set for the ward of “Yeah someone comes home”, you know, he or she offered their heart to the Lord and things went very differently than planned, but they’re home.

LLDS: Yeah awesome. So, the next point you talk about is it’s important for the bishop or stake president, whomever, to meet with the parents before the missionary actually gets home. Obviously, from what I understand, (29:30) I’ve never been a leader in this situation, but there are various phone calls from the mission president, the stake president, or the bishop and you know, plans are put in place and but there’s always a flight to be made or some lag time there for the family or the leader to prepare for that returned missionary to come home.

Destiny Yarbro: It depends on the situation. There are times where it’s in the middle of emergency mode and they’re just getting home as soon as possible, but it’s still connecting with them prior to that as a good thing. I think parents get told that their missionary is (30:00) coming home and depending on how experienced that mission president is, they might navigate a little bit differently… if they had more experience they might navigate it better than some others such as saying, you know, your missionary served in this way and we’re so grateful that they were able to touch these unique individuals or anything like that, that can be an affirmation to his parents in. Anyway, the point is they have this little window and those parents are going through how much it’s like a missionary. That word trauma, it took me years to use (30:30) that for this situation. That’s really what it is. You know, one of the definitions of trauma is when you plan something and you expect something and you’re moving forward in this direction and then everything changes the other direction, your mind and even your body don’t quite know how to handle it. And so, for a bishop to meet with those parents, even just for a few minutes and say, “I’m here, I’m going to be with that missionary 100 percent. We love him no matter what.” And then in my book, I have a little guide for parents like you know, a few points that (31:00) if I could tell you anything before you pick up your missionary means there are some points. If you wanted to hand that to them or anything like that just for them not feel alone because often they feel extremely alone.

LLDS: And what’s some general guidance that the bishop could give to those parents before they walk off the plane?

Destiny Yarbro: Yeah. I think the number one thing is that first priority at the parents needs to be that missionaries healing, physical, spiritual and emotional mental feeling, and not to put any pressure (31:30) on that missionary because they’re going to feel pressured from everyone around them. Everyone they see without meaning to is putting pressure on them to either return to field or go back to school or anything like that. But if they can have a safe place at home where they can talk about their mission if they want to, and not talk about their mission if they don’t want to. That can be a real blessing for that missionary. Another thing is to kind of meet me, walk through the parents’ process of what we met the missionary in the airport. We have balloons and (32:00) extended family or is it a quiet thing. If you can, I always ask the parents to ask that missionary ahead of time if you can on the phone and say would you prefer this or that? I found It’s about 50/50. The number one thing is to not leave a missionary not only that but by themselves.

LLDS: Exactly right. And, and I guess you just have to ask those questions right over the phone or as they’re coming home and the bishop can help the parents know what questions to ask because they may not know or they may (32:30) think, well it’s sort of silly to ask if he wants a big sign and balloons at the airport because does really anybody want that.

Destiny Yarbro: But some of the missionaries I’ve talked to that was the most normal thing of their mission right? was ah… ya cause they always planned them.. but I talked about my book how I always planned on walking up that plane, having done my mission and perhaps with a little pride, more of a righteous pride there. Feeling mad at myself for having completed that mission and it was so different than that so (33:00) Yeah, if you get the chance to ask them. That’s definitely the best way to do it.

LLDS: Any other as far as in regards to that meeting with the parents before the missionary gets home any other points would be worth mentioning.

Destiny Yarbro: Just that those parents might be feeling the loss of that mission or their missionary just as strongly if not more strongly than that missionary than that missionary coming home. and that missionary coming home might have received confirmation or prompting or comfort from the Lord and those parents might not recognize that. So, they don’t know what their missionaries feeling.

LLDS: Yeah, and especially in a, (33:30) you know, if there’s a transgression involved or something like that, like so much is like exploding and they went from, from the parent’s perspective having this, you know, “perfect young man”, young woman who’s on a mission and they’re just, you know, all these pictures are coming back, letters and everything’s going great and then everything hits, you know, comes to the surface. Not only are they returning home but you know, as far as their maybe their memberships in question and, and they’re kind of dealing with their own trauma to some degree (34:00) as a parent and that Bishop is better that the Bishop address that maybe before the missionary gets home rather than like now things are exploding at home and the bishops in the home trying to ease or trying to bring in, you know, therapists or recommend therapists or counseling or it’s just a lot coming out. And so, this is an opportunity for the leader to take it chunk by chunk, right?

Destiny Yarbro: Yeah, yeah to minister and to help those parents know that you’re not alone, especially with the transcription. Then it’s like, okay, we’re going to, we’re going (34:30) to tackle this together. And one thing that the parent can focus on in the case of transgression, in most cases, this is taking a lot of courage to come home early and to address these issues and to start tackling the repentance process. We’re proud of you for tackling those things. That’s something that I think most parents if they can focus on that and kind of that perspective, that might be helpful.

LLDS: Yeah. That’s the overall theme throughout this is like nobody’s claiming we figured (35:00) it out here, but it’s better to talk about it then act like nothing. Maybe we can just not say anything and it all go away. That is not a good option. So. And then you give the recommendation that the bishop or stake president, whoever the leader should meet with that returned missionary immediately and then often thereafter,

Destiny Yarbro: My recommendation is you know you’re going to feel best. I think treating them as someone going through a very traumatic experience is a good thing and helping (35:30) them their priesthood leaders, no matter the reason, even if it’s visiting them in the hospital, talking to them over the phone, whatever it may look like, I recommend once a week, the first month or two if you can and I know bishops have a lot on their plate, but this is a very vulnerable time and I say this gently, but we lose too many missionaries during that time so we have this little window that if it’s all hands on deck, if we can get them through that time. Then we might make it.

LLDS: I will often just marvel at the (36:00) missionary model that our church has and what it’s done for me personally in my life and how it, I mean we. We send these young men, young women on missions and they grow up 10 years, you know, maturity wise, come home and they’re just jumping into life. They’re prepared. They handle college grant. I mean I’m speaking generally here, but for 90 percent of missionaries it is just a remarkable thing, but that also. I mean that effective machine also, for those that don’t experience that dramatic growth (36:30) because of whatever situation it can have a dramatic swing the other direction and if man, it just is heartbreaking to hear that these return missionaries, I don’t know what the statistics are, but I, I’m sure they’re not encouraging that as far as you know, especially those that go through transgression or something that they come back to church is just probably heartbreaking. And uh, and man, I, I, there’s gotta be more we can do. And so…

Destiny Yarbro: (37:00) Definitely and you know what it’s getting better and better that the church has trainings for the mission presidents before they go out now that’s huge that was not the case when I came. For mission presidents they set the tone for how a missionary views their mission, for better or for worse they really do set that tone and I think it’s important to add in this little part because this part almost feels a little depressing if you think about it because it is, if you feel left behind from that massive machine. It can be extremely hard, but I think that’s where it’s valuable to connect with earlier returned missionaries, who come home around like sometime before you. (37:30) So for example, like now I can say, oh my goodness, I’m so grateful for my mission, but six years ago, seven years ago, I couldn’t say that. I truly wonder, why did I even go on a mission? Why would you let me go on a mission if you knew I’d be worse off than when I left. Right. If you view it as a step backward, then that could be a hard thing, but now I’m going on 10 years next year. I am so grateful for my mission and the lessons along and grace and perfectionism (38:00) and recognizing that it’s been amazing. So, if you can connect with an earlier returned missionary whose got five years down the road from you, that’s a good recommendation.

LLDS: Right, and I don’t think we can expect that early returned missionary that, you know, it’s been three months, you know, six months snap out of it, you know, be grateful for your mission and you know, we can’t, we just have to let that naturally unfold and have faith that they’ll get to a point where they’ll say, you know, proudly I served in Sacramento or I served and in Hungary, you know, and say so proudly, but… (38:30)

Destiny Yarbro: Elder Holland said just to say I served, just say that, don’t say but only for this many months. He said that specifically about early returned missionaries which…

LLDS: At some point, they’ll be able to cut that ”but” out. Right, and just say, I served just like you. Right. That’s awesome. You know, on this topic of meeting, obviously the leader meeting immediately and often after they return home, I would guess, again, I’ve never dealt with this type of situation as a bishop. I actually only helped one missionary (39:00) go out just for the demographics of the ward that I served in, but I would imagine a lot of times I would say the majority of times there’s gonna be a need of professional counseling of some degree. Would you agree?

Destiny Yarbro: Yeah and even those who come home with physical valuations often are just because of how it happened are struggling with depression afterward or some anxiety or those kinds of things. I mean, I came home for physical health reasons. Like I said, the second time that I came home, my anxiety went through the roof because I knew (39:30) what was gonna happen. And so than now getting all of that was tricky. So professional help or just giving yourself the chance to heal, it takes time.

LLDS: Or if they do come home for a physical health reason, don’t assume that that’s not going to spill over into some mental health issues or anxiety that need to be addressed.

Destiny Yarbro: And to tell the missionary that that’s ok, that’s normal when you’re sick, when your body is shutting down it’s a very normal reaction for depression, or anxiety to come. Your body is not coping. (40:00) So rather than that missionary feeling like I’m struggling in every direction, which was how I felt, I was just like, oh my goodness, this sounds a little rough, but I feel like I’m been kicked down because now I’m struggling spiritually, mentally, physically, and my testimony, I don’t know where it went. You know, all of these all at once. I wish someone, maybe someone did, and I couldn’t just hear it quite at that time, but say, no, that’s normal. You’re going to struggle in probably a lot of different ways.

LLDS: I love that, and as we (40:30) go through these interviews, I always love to point out the practical tactics a leader can use and just defaulting to those words, “Yeah what you’re experiencing is normal.” Like normal word can do so much for an individual to hear because they’re thinking, not only am I an outlier with how I returned from my mission, but now how I’m responding to it, you know, there’s something wrong with me and that’s when the shame piles on, but using that phrase of you, what you’re experiencing is normal and we’re here to help you through it. And so, this is normal. (41:00)

Destiny Yarbro: Exactly. And on more element to that is a lot of missionaries that I spoke with and myself especially, I worried about all of the people I should have taught if I had stayed. Again, your perception is a little off; I couldn’t stay. But I felt like I dropped the ball somewhere and that’s where I wasn’t out there still. And so, for someone to say, you believe that the Lord can handle all those details. Because we emphasize only you can teach in the mission, and that’s, that’s true. But (41:30) on the flip side, it’s good to also emphasize this the Lord’s work we’re talking about. He can handle it. So just focus on the mission that the miracles that are still happening in your mission. Trust that he’s got those bases covered.

LLDS: Yeah, that’s great. Uh, the next point you say is just as far as setting the expectation that they may or may not return to their mission. What advice would you have on that?

Destiny Yarbro: So, most missionaries when they come home early they get asked the question immediately by everyone. So, are you going back out? And that is totally people’s (42:00) perspective. I’m sure they’re thinking this is a very positive thing. Let’s focus on the future. So, when are you going back out? That kind of cheerleading, I guess. On the flip side, what they don’t understand is that for some missionaries their mission is done! And they can receive that prompting from the Lord, they know that their mission is done. And then others will feel that prompting that they’re supposed to keep serving. And so that is a very personal decisions between that missionary and the Lord. And while a Bishop and (42:30) other leaders or parents can help guide and help them consider the different things that still need to be between that missionary and the Lord. I think our perspective is let’s get back out and finish that mission. Right? And that’s probably the biggest lesson that I’ve learned over the last 10 years is that missions come in all shapes and sizes and that the Lord has different plans for each one of us. But for me, when I came home even the second time I felt like I was supposed to serve, this drive. And I was so (43:00) frustrated I didn’t know what to do. So, I just felt broken. I felt wrong. And it wasn’t until someone at Church said that “did you know there are online missions?” And I was able to start serving as an online missionary for nine months. As soon as I finish that nine months, I felt completely fine and my mission was complete. And that was fine. If anyone out there feels this way, and I think it’s important for bishops to give this option, but there are other kinds of missions that are called young church service missions and you can look at lds.org/whycsm (43:30) YCSM: Young Church Service Missionary, but there they have so many different options that you can do from hospital or…

LLDS: Yeah, that’s great. And, and you know, obviously telling you from the standpoint of a leader, obviously a general person in the ward, it doesn’t, you know, it’s obviously none of their business whether this person goes back or not. And I would imagine between that leader and the return missionary, you know, it, I wouldn’t, it sounds like the bishops shouldn’t necessarily (44:00) bring this question up of “are you going back or not?”, but help them process maybe if there is some trauma in their return or there are some health issues. Let’s wait until all that is taken care of before we start seeing- So there’s some stability there and then we can start saying, okay, well what are some plans now? Are you of thinking go back, do you want to go back? Or maybe you’re thinking college now, like what are your plans? Right. But it doesn’t have to be- that question doesn’t have to be answered in week one.

Destiny Yarbro: (44:30) Exactly. I think sometimes we feel pressure from above either from the stake level or higher that are saying, “okay, are you going back?” And they might have to put that down so they might be feeling some pressure that way. But I think how you approach it can be helpful. So, if it’s saying, do you feel like your mission is like the Lord is satisfied with your- maybe not complete, but maybe do you feel like the Lord is satisfied with your mission as it was? Or what companies have you felt? Kind of allowing that door to be open (45:00) saying that you don’t have to go back out. That it’s okay to not go back out if you feel like your mission’s done. Sometimes missionaries don’t know that that’s really an option, and that you can feel okay about that.

LLDS: Yeah, that could be the decision for, you know, three months and then they may have a change of heart.

Destiny Yarbro: Exactly. And that would be the best thing if that missionary can totally feel like they have time to heal before they make that decision. So, if at all possible, protecting that missionary a little bit from those questions is good.

LLDS: Yeah. Awesome. Anything else around that point (45:30) as far as you may go back or may not go back?

Destiny Yarbro: No, but just a little bit to add in regards to the bishop’s meeting with those missionaries. I think again, helping that missionary know that they’re part of that family is important, so that can come in the form of what callings or what responsibilities do you feel like you could do? So, if that missionary is sick and in bed, maybe emailing someone who’s also sick and in bed in the ward. Or just anything, because that missionary is going from full time 24/7, (46:00) eating, drinking, sleeping a mission to all of a sudden everyone’s attention on them. Doctors, therapists, everything on them and it feels very wrong. At least my experience, it felt very wrong and so having some way of serving can be helpful.

LLDS: Yeah. That’s a point of view I would have never thought up on my own that, you’re right, that they come home and whether it’s health reasons or others, there’s a lot of attention on them and they’re not used to that. Right? They’re used to serving 24 (46:30) hours a day. Wow, awesome. So, there are, we’ve gone through four points as far as what advice you’d have for bishops or stake presidents that have somebody in their ward or stake returning home, “early” from their mission. We talked about that the ward follows your example, so it’s a good time to set a good example. Meet with the parents before the return missionary comes home. When their returned missionary comes home, meet immediately and often thereafter and then just addressing the question of whether they go back or not on their mission. And then as (47:00) we wrap up here, you just had three quick items of advice for just the general ward councilor or youth leaders. The first one being that it’s not important to talk about the why of why they came home or not, and Amy in the comments that talks about this too, that it’s really nobody’s business why this person came home.

Destiny Yarbro: Yup. I think it can be hard to know what to say. So, I’ll just give some suggestions for ward members. Just say, “we love you and we’re so grateful to have you back in the ward (47:30) and either let me know if there’s anything I can do or if you want to go hang out” or anything proactive can be helpful, but more than anything just say, “we love you and we missed you.”

LLDS: Perfect. Awesome. And then the general guidance of treating the early return missionary as you treat a new convert, right? As far as finding them a friend, a responsibility and just nourishment of the good word of God.

Destiny Yarbro: Yup. That’s the best way to say it. Meaning many people who are not (48:00) judging and who are there to support them and love them. Like I said, we talked about just getting them something to do to serve to be engaged in. And the last one, the nourishment of the good word of God, I think that’s where it can be so beneficial for parents in particular, but also bishops and a young men- a loved young men’s leader or young women’s leader to sit down with them and share all the different experiences in the scriptures of people who had plans for this and it became this because (48:30) the scriptures are full of them. And that has been one of the most healing elements for me is recognizing that this is actually, this happens quite often. The Lord knows how much we can grow in those unexpected times.

LLDS: Awesome. And then the last point you mentioned as far as supporting the family that this isn’t just one individual going through a maybe traumatic experience, but this is a family that is experiencing that same trauma in a different way.

Destiny Yarbro: Exactly. You’ve got the parents that are navigating so much, like we talked about earlier, but you also have even the siblings who, the last time they saw their siblings (49:00) they were cheering them on and waving at ’em, you know, in airports sending ’em off and everyone was excited and getting the weekly emails and so happy and then instantly all attentions is on that missionary who came home that his siblings are trying to cope with it in their very unique ways. Instead if they have good friends that are taking him in, bring him over to play or anything like that as the parents are trying to navigate both the physical health but also the financial (49:30) problems that sometimes pop up when you have a new health problem or it can be helpful to remember that the whole missionary- that the whole family is needing extra administering during that time.

LLDS: Yeah. So, any, I mean obviously you wrote a whole book on this so there’s a lot to go over, but anything that we haven’t covered that would be worth mentioning at this point?

Destiny Yarbro: I have a couple thoughts. One is that there’s a nonprofit called Mission Fortify that I recommend. They are doing early return missionary firesides every (50:00) quarter, so every three months.

LLDS: And these are like online firesides, right?

Destiny Yarbro: Well, unfortunately, no. They’re in Utah. But they do have an online support group that they just barely started up. And it’s just a great program that’s really taking off. So, I do recommend that and I also- think it’s important- I just, if I could take a second and speak directly to a missionary, if they’re listening in, I just would want every missionary to know that the Lord has different plans for us. And so sometimes when things look so different from (50:30) others, we feel broken. We feel like we’re a mistake and because our plan doesn’t look like someone else’s plan, but it’s hard to open our heart to the thought that there might be a different plan for us, but the Lord can do a lot. This is the Lord we’re talking about and He can navigate any struggle that we’re going through and if we’ve come home for transgression, I love the verse in First Nephi 3:7 right? “The Lord has already prepared away. He’s prepared a way that we may accomplish the thing which he has commanded.” So, He’s got a plan in mind that can help you navigate (51:00) this. And about the time that you feel like sometimes when you come home early from the mission, that failure seems to feel like it bleeds into other areas of your life. You feel like, will I be able to be successful in marriage? Will I be able to be successful at school? And I think that’s it, that’s Satan compounding on our worst fears. Just work on being okay with the Lord and with time it will be okay. There’ll be a time down the road when you’ll be able to look back and say, wow, that was an experience, but I’ve learned so much. (51:30) That’s kind of what I wish I could go back to the plane that I was coming home on and say, “Guess what, it’s okay. It’s okay that you’re coming home.” I asked them that question that if you could go back and sit next to yourself on that flight home. What would you say? And the responses were just awesome. I wish I could take an hour and share them all with you, but it’s really amazing what we see when we’ve had some time.

LLDS: That’s fantastic. If there’s anybody listening that wants to learn more about what you’re doing, (52:00) follow what you’re doing and obviously gain access to your resources, where would you send them?

Destiny Yarbro: At this point, to earlyrm.com my email is there as well, so feel free to reach out if you’d like. But on there we have resources that are made by members, but also from the church. There’s a link for bishops to the- there’s a resource for bishops that’s relatively new, a small resource, but bishops that have early return missionaries in their ward. There are videos of missionaries being interviewed. Of Elder Holland (52:30) speaking directly to an early return missionary that’s just awesome. Yeah, a bunch of different things. And like I said, and there are also guides for parents, bishop, stake presidents, mission presidents and/or councils.

LLDS: Awesome. Fantastic resources. I’m glad you’re out there making this happen because it is definitely needed. Last question I have before we conclude is, as you’ve obviously gone through your own experience of returning home and an unexpected time from your mission and now, uh, you know, taking it (53:00) upon your personal ministry to interview other return missionaries that had a similar experience, how has that process of leading in this experience made you a better disciple or follower of Jesus Christ?

Destiny Yarbro: That’s a great question. Obviously, if you would have asked me five years ago that I’d be doing this, I would have told someone flat out, “No, I don’t think I have anything to offer.” I felt like I struggled so terribly after the mission. But I think that’s where the Lord’s atonement comes in. He takes something that’s so painful (53:30) and not only helps us heal for us but can even increase it exponentially so then we are able to help others. Like me being on this podcast today is not something that I can do by myself. Like this is totally the power of the enabling power of the atonement because this was a very hard experience and something that should be something that continues to weigh on me. Somehow, I love in Enos where Enos says, “Lord, how is it done?” I think that’s what he says. (54:00) That’s how I feel like, how is this done? How am I able to have hundreds and hundreds of conversations with missionaries and read thousands of missionaries responses about coming home early without feeling pain and broken each time I do it? Again, that’s the Lord and I think it’s good to know that you don’t have to rush to rush into trying to help others with your own experience, but know that if you are open, the Lord can do so much with it. So, He’s helped me become, (54:30) I think, a better disciple because I realized that well, I’ve been able to work with members who have been in prison, members who have disabilities, members who struggle with mental illness all, I think, because of this experience of coming home early. So hopefully I became more understanding person because of it.

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Destiny Yarbro is the author of Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission and maintains a related website with resources for early returned missionaries. She served in the Hungary, Highlights
02:15 Background and mission experience
16:30 The ward and stake follows the example of the Bishop: Treat them like any other missionary coming home
— 18:30 When transgression is involved, coming home is the first step forward
— 21:45 Importance of the first Sunday home
— 24:15 Finding some way to keep them involved
— 25:45 Discussing the return announcement with the missionary
— 26:15 Examples
27:45 Meeting with parents/family prior to the missionary's return to offer suggestions and support
34:15 Meeting with the early returned missionary immediately and often
— 36:30 Healing suggestions for the missionary
— 38:30 "Normal" experiences and universal need for professional counseling
— 40:30 Worries about people they didn't teach
41:15 Addressing the question of returning to the mission... or not
— 42:15 Different mission options: online and young church service missionaries
— 44:15 Approaching the subject with the missionary
— 45:30 Dealing with change from serving to being the subject of attention
47:15 Points for the ward council and ward members
50:15 Mission Fortify recommendation
51:00 Advice for early returned missionaries
51:45 The Atonement takes difficulties and turns them into opportunities to serve others
Links
Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission
Earlyrm.com
LDS.org: Young Church Service Missionaries
Mission Fortify: firesides and online support
Written Transcript
Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today we're talking with Destiny Yarbro. How are you, Destiny?

Destiny Yarbro: Doing well, thanks Kurt.

LLDS: Awesome. Now, what does the Leading LDS audience need to know about you and what led you to be a guest on this podcast?

Destiny Yarbro: Well, I grew up in a small town. I wanted to go on a mission for a long time and when I finally got the opportunity (06:00) to go things went very differently than I planned, I had to come home early for health reasons and thankfully I was able to go back out, but I was only able to go back out for another three or four months. And then I had to come home again. So, I got that experience twice.

LLDS: So, take us back to when you opened up your call. Where did you expect to go or want to go? Any inclination one way or the other and then where did you end up going?

Destiny Yarbro: I wanted to go anywhere, but, I hope this doesn't offend (06:30) anyone, but except for Albuquerque. Good people in Albuquerque, but for some reason that's the place I didn't want to go. So, when I opened my call, and I opened it by myself because I was convinced I was going to Albuquerque and I needed some time to process. So, I opened up my call by myself and it was to the Budapest, Hungary Mission and it blew me away. I did not expect that at all.

LLDS: So where were you living at this time when you opened the call?

Destiny Yarbro: I was living in Arizona (07:00), but I was on the steps of the St.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 56:55
What I Wish I Knew Before I Was Bishop- Ep. 1 https://leadinglds.org/what-i-wish-i-knew-before-i-was-bishop-ep-1/ Sun, 08 Jul 2018 21:31:02 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=42572 Do you remember the first month you were called as a bishop? Trying to get organized. Trying to learn names. Trying to figure out how to lead. Here is the first episode of many that will feature short clips of past and current bishops sharing their go-to advice for new bishops. Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience In an effort to help other bishops gain some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past bishops sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as bishop. You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record! How to record: Click the green button below Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes: What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president? Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…” Stop recording Listen to recording and record again if you would like Enter name and email Submit recording by clicking “send” The transcript for this episode will be available in a few days. Do you remember the first month you were called as a bishop? Trying to get organized. Trying to learn names. Trying to figure out how to lead. Here is the first episode of many that will feature short clips of past and current bishops sharing their go-to advice for new bishops.

Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience

In an effort to help other bishops gain some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past bishops sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as bishop.

You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record!

How to record:

  1. Click the green button below
  2. Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes:
    • What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president?
    • Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…”
  3. Stop recording
  4. Listen to recording and record again if you would like
  5. Enter name and email
  6. Submit recording by clicking “send”

The transcript for this episode will be available in a few days.

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Do you remember the first month you were called as a bishop? Trying to get organized. Trying to learn names. Trying to figure out how to lead. Here is the first episode of many that will feature short clips of past and current bishops sharing their go-... Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience
In an effort to help other bishops gain some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past bishops sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as bishop.

You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record!
How to record:

* Click the green button below
* Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes:

* What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president?
* Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…”


* Stop recording
* Listen to recording and record again if you would like
* Enter name and email
* Submit recording by clicking “send”



The transcript for this episode will be available in a few days.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 23:18
Applying Leadership Principles at Work and Church | An Interview with Nate Checketts https://leadinglds.org/applying-leadership-principles-at-work-and-church-an-interview-with-nate-checketts/ Sun, 01 Jul 2018 07:00:13 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=42404 Nate Checketts is the Co-Founder & CEO of Rhone, a premium men’s activewear company founded in 2014. Prior to Rhone, Nate worked for and consulted with some of the biggest technology and entertainment properties in the world including Cisco, The National Football League, Legends, FanVision and Sport Radar, and serves on the board of Veritone. Nate is also an avid entrepreneur who founded and launched 4 companies before the age of 30, including Rhone and Mangia Technologies, whose patents were later acquired by the San Francisco 49ers. Nate graduated from Brigham Young University with a BA in Finance. He and his wife Dayna reside in Connecticut with their three young boys, Gabriel, William, and Nicholas. He has served in a bishopric and as an Elders Quorum president and is currently serving as an early-morning seminary teacher. Highlights In this wide-ranging interview, Brother Checketts discusses principles of leadership that he uses daily in his church service as well as in the business world including: (16:00) How can we have an impact in our callings/positions? How can we create positive change? —Getting past the administration and focusing on helping those we serve feel like we love and care about them and helping them feel and recognize the spirit —Looking to other great leaders as examples (23:30) The importance of genuine empathy for those within our stewardship (28:30) Conducting one-on-one interviews —Asking what’s on their minds – starting with their concerns —Being clear about expectations prior to the meeting (30:15) Importance of building relationships of trust (31:00) Leading with love Links Rhone.com The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey Alexander Hamilton, by Ron Chernow John Adams, by David McCullough Nate Checketts is the Co-Founder & CEO of Rhone, a premium men’s activewear company founded in 2014. Prior to Rhone, Nate worked for and consulted with some of the biggest technology and entertainment properties in the world including Cisco, The National Football League, Legends, FanVision and Sport Radar, and serves on the board of Veritone. Nate is also an avid entrepreneur who founded and launched 4 companies before the age of 30, including Rhone and Mangia Technologies, whose patents were later acquired by the San Francisco 49ers. Nate graduated from Brigham Young University with a BA in Finance. He and his wife Dayna reside in Connecticut with their three young boys, Gabriel, William, and Nicholas. He has served in a bishopric and as an Elders Quorum president and is currently serving as an early-morning seminary teacher.

Highlights

In this wide-ranging interview, Brother Checketts discusses principles of leadership that he uses daily in his church service as well as in the business world including:

(16:00) How can we have an impact in our callings/positions? How can we create positive change?
—Getting past the administration and focusing on helping those we serve feel like we love and care about them and helping them feel and recognize the spirit
—Looking to other great leaders as examples

(23:30) The importance of genuine empathy for those within our stewardship

(28:30) Conducting one-on-one interviews
—Asking what’s on their minds – starting with their concerns
—Being clear about expectations prior to the meeting

(30:15) Importance of building relationships of trust

(31:00) Leading with love

Links

Rhone.com
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey
Alexander Hamilton, by Ron Chernow
John Adams, by David McCullough

]]>
Nate Checketts is the Co-Founder & CEO of Rhone, a premium men’s activewear company founded in 2014. Prior to Rhone, Nate worked for and consulted with some of the biggest technology and entertainment properties in the world including Cisco, Highlights
In this wide-ranging interview, Brother Checketts discusses principles of leadership that he uses daily in his church service as well as in the business world including:

(16:00) How can we have an impact in our callings/positions? How can we create positive change?
—Getting past the administration and focusing on helping those we serve feel like we love and care about them and helping them feel and recognize the spirit
—Looking to other great leaders as examples

(23:30) The importance of genuine empathy for those within our stewardship

(28:30) Conducting one-on-one interviews
—Asking what’s on their minds – starting with their concerns
—Being clear about expectations prior to the meeting

(30:15) Importance of building relationships of trust

(31:00) Leading with love
Links
Rhone.com
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey
Alexander Hamilton, by Ron Chernow
John Adams, by David McCullough]]>
LeadingLDS clean 38:05
Being the Relief Society President the Lord Needs You to Be | How I Lead: Brooke Romney https://leadinglds.org/being-the-relief-society-president-the-lord-needs-you-to-be-how-i-lead-brooke-romney/ Sun, 24 Jun 2018 15:39:41 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=42317 Brooke Romney is a freelance writer, speaker, and blogger about motherhood and life in general, and writes monthly for the Deseret News. She served as a Relief Society president when she was a young mother in Arizona. After living in several locations around the United States, she currently resides near Salt Lake City, Utah, with her husband and four boys. Highlights 2:45 Writing for the Deseret News —3:20 Being a friend instead of just being friendly —3:50 Being a stonecatcher —6:50 Mistakes and difficulties don't equal failure 10:40 Calling as a young Relief Society president 12:00 Involving everyone in activities Leadership Principles: —18:00 Utilizing the talents of others —20:00 Learning from the experience of others —21:30 Harnessing your own abilities 24:40 Advice for handling welfare situations 28:00 Reaching out to nonmembers 34:00 Relationships are key 37:40 Jesus calls leaders because he needs someone to take care of people Links BrookeRomney.com Brooke's Deseret News articles Facebook: Brooke Romney Writes Twitter: @BrookeoRomney Pinterest: Brookerom Instagram: @brookeromneywrites Brooke Romney is a freelance writer, speaker, and blogger about motherhood and life in general, and writes monthly for the Deseret News. She served as a Relief Society president when she was a young mother in Arizona. After living in several locations around the United States, she currently resides near Salt Lake City, Utah, with her husband and four boys.

Highlights

2:45 Writing for the Deseret News
—3:20 Being a friend instead of just being friendly
—3:50 Being a stonecatcher
—6:50 Mistakes and difficulties don’t equal failure
10:40 Calling as a young Relief Society president
12:00 Involving everyone in activities
Leadership Principles:
—18:00 Utilizing the talents of others
—20:00 Learning from the experience of others
—21:30 Harnessing your own abilities
24:40 Advice for handling welfare situations
28:00 Reaching out to nonmembers
34:00 Relationships are key
37:40 Jesus calls leaders because he needs someone to take care of people

Links

BrookeRomney.com
Brooke’s Deseret News articles
Facebook: Brooke Romney Writes
Twitter: @BrookeoRomney
Pinterest: Brookerom
Instagram: @brookeromneywrites

]]>
Brooke Romney is a freelance writer, speaker, and blogger about motherhood and life in general, and writes monthly for the Deseret News. She served as a Relief Society president when she was a young mother in Arizona. Highlights
2:45 Writing for the Deseret News
—3:20 Being a friend instead of just being friendly
—3:50 Being a stonecatcher
—6:50 Mistakes and difficulties don't equal failure
10:40 Calling as a young Relief Society president
12:00 Involving everyone in activities
Leadership Principles:
—18:00 Utilizing the talents of others
—20:00 Learning from the experience of others
—21:30 Harnessing your own abilities
24:40 Advice for handling welfare situations
28:00 Reaching out to nonmembers
34:00 Relationships are key
37:40 Jesus calls leaders because he needs someone to take care of people
Links
BrookeRomney.com
Brooke's Deseret News articles
Facebook: Brooke Romney Writes
Twitter: @BrookeoRomney
Pinterest: Brookerom
Instagram: @brookeromneywrites]]>
LeadingLDS clean 41:00
Modeling Leadership in Mongolia | An Interview with President Joseph Benson https://leadinglds.org/modeling-leadership-in-mongolia-an-interview-with-president-joseph-benson/ Sun, 17 Jun 2018 13:10:27 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=42183 Joseph Benson served as mission president in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission from 2013-2016. He and his wife Heidi are the parents of five (almost six) children and both served as young missionaries in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission; Joseph in 1996-1998 and Heidi in 1999-2001. They met when they both taught Mongolian at the missionary training center in Provo. Just after they were married, they spent a year in China, where Joseph completed a Fulbright fellowship, studying Chinese and Chinese history. Later, Joseph practiced patent law in Southern California for many years before taking a job with a San Diego based Real Estate Company, which transferred their family to Singapore. Joseph was called as a mission president at the young age of 35. As a mission president, he was a leader of the people in Mongolia as well as the missionaries. His experience presented unique challenges in a growing area of the church. Highlights 3:00 President Benson's experience as a young missionary in 1996 7:00 How the church and country was different in Mongolia in 2013 9:20 Restrictions on missionary proselytizing in Mongolia 12:35 Called to serve as a mission president at the age of 35/meeting with President Russell M. Nelson 17:00 Previous experience/inexperience in callings in the church previous to being a mission president 18:00 Experience in Mongolia as mission president 21:00 Use of church handbook in leadership 23:30 Using church handbook to train leaders 30:00 Welfare assistance in Mongolia 32:00 Advice to implementing church self-reliance program 35:15 Secret to missionary work 40:00 Importance of scripture study 45:00 Preparation for zone conference 51:00 Advice for leaders in growing areas of the church 53:30 Elder Rasband's visit to Mongolia 55:00 Focusing on individuals/ minister first and the administration and procedure aid in your endeavors 58:30 Advice to those preparing to serve missions- D&C 11 & chapter 2 and 3 of Preach my Gospel Joseph Benson served as mission president in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission from 2013-2016. He and his wife Heidi are the parents of five (almost six) children and both served as young missionaries in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission; Joseph in 1996-1998 and Heidi in 1999-2001. They met when they both taught Mongolian at the missionary training center in Provo. Just after they were married, they spent a year in China, where Joseph completed a Fulbright fellowship, studying Chinese and Chinese history. Later, Joseph practiced patent law in Southern California for many years before taking a job with a San Diego based Real Estate Company, which transferred their family to Singapore. Joseph was called as a mission president at the young age of 35. As a mission president, he was a leader of the people in Mongolia as well as the missionaries. His experience presented unique challenges in a growing area of the church.

Highlights

3:00 President Benson’s experience as a young missionary in 1996
7:00 How the church and country was different in Mongolia in 2013
9:20 Restrictions on missionary proselytizing in Mongolia
12:35 Called to serve as a mission president at the age of 35/meeting with President Russell M. Nelson
17:00 Previous experience/inexperience in callings in the church previous to being a mission president
18:00 Experience in Mongolia as mission president
21:00 Use of church handbook in leadership
23:30 Using church handbook to train leaders
30:00 Welfare assistance in Mongolia
32:00 Advice to implementing church self-reliance program
35:15 Secret to missionary work
40:00 Importance of scripture study
45:00 Preparation for zone conference
51:00 Advice for leaders in growing areas of the church
53:30 Elder Rasband’s visit to Mongolia
55:00 Focusing on individuals/ minister first and the administration and procedure aid in your endeavors
58:30 Advice to those preparing to serve missions- D&C 11 & chapter 2 and 3 of Preach my Gospel

]]>
Joseph Benson served as mission president in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission from 2013-2016. He and his wife Heidi are the parents of five (almost six) children and both served as young missionaries in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission; Joseph in 1996-...

Highlights
3:00 President Benson's experience as a young missionary in 1996
7:00 How the church and country was different in Mongolia in 2013
9:20 Restrictions on missionary proselytizing in Mongolia
12:35 Called to serve as a mission president at the age of 35/meeting with President Russell M. Nelson
17:00 Previous experience/inexperience in callings in the church previous to being a mission president
18:00 Experience in Mongolia as mission president
21:00 Use of church handbook in leadership
23:30 Using church handbook to train leaders
30:00 Welfare assistance in Mongolia
32:00 Advice to implementing church self-reliance program
35:15 Secret to missionary work
40:00 Importance of scripture study
45:00 Preparation for zone conference
51:00 Advice for leaders in growing areas of the church
53:30 Elder Rasband's visit to Mongolia
55:00 Focusing on individuals/ minister first and the administration and procedure aid in your endeavors
58:30 Advice to those preparing to serve missions- D&C 11 & chapter 2 and 3 of Preach my Gospel]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:04:01
Leading with Trust | An Interview with Stephen M. R. Covey https://leadinglds.org/leading-with-trust-an-interview-with-stephen-m-r-covey/ Sun, 10 Jun 2018 07:00:08 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41887 Steven M. R. Covey is the son of Steven R. Covey of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and co-founder of Covey Link and the Franklin Covey Global Speed of Trust practice. He is a highly sought-after and compelling keynote speaker and advisor on trust, ethics, sales, and high performance, and speaks to audiences around the world. He is also the New York Times and #1 Wall Street Journal best-selling author of “The Speed of Trust", which teaches 13 Behaviors of High Trust Leaders. This is a groundbreaking, paradigm-shifting book that challenges the assumption that trust is merely a soft social virtue, demonstrating that it is instead a hard-edge economic driver. Trust is a learnable skill that makes organizations more profitable, people more promotable and relationships more energizing. Highlights 3:19 What it was like growing up in the Covey home and how the principles his father was teaching in the marketplace were first taught in the home. Things like “green & clean”, “listen first”. The principles in the book were for the marketplace but were started at home with his family. They were the guinea pigs of “7 habits”. 4:40 How he started on the business side but shifted career path to current leadership roles 5:20 Not one thing that lead to “trust” as his focus, but many different things that lead to that. There is a high cost to low trust Trust is learnable Trust is not just a good thing, and social thing but it is a multiplier and key to leadership. All things are better with trust. Trust and love are critical, you can love and not trust but it is best to have both. It is better to be trusted than loved. (David O McKay) Love is critical. It applies to everything, business, church, marriage, every level of human interaction. 10:40 “Fish are the last ones to discover water.” How to determine amount of trust when we are called to a position. We need to be intentional, not just use position power, but rely on credibility, influence, trust. Seek best interest of others. 12:50 Positions may not come with trust. Description of low trust tax, that may confer to us from prior leaders, as well as low trust dividend. 14:00 Trust is built through our credibility and behavior: Credibility: character trust (integrity, intent, care, more about others well-being, showing we care) and competence trust (current, learning, performance, do what we say) Behavior – how we do whatever we do, we want to model behavior that builds trust We want leaders that care, and are very competent as well. We don’t have to be perfect, we have to be willing 23:00 We need to look in the mirror and see how we are doing with trust. 24:10 How do we help those who have a deficit of trust – first look inward. How do I focus on my credibility, my confidence? Declare intent – what you are doing and why. Extend trust to others, people will return the trust. There is a risk. We are good at understanding trustworthiness, but not always good at understanding the importance of extending trust – trust others. The quickest way to make someone trustworthy, is to extend trust to them. 28:50 Don’t treat people according to their behavior, treat them according to their potential. They will rise to that trust. 29:30 Behaviors that build trust: Extend Trust – make sure they know you “trust” them to fulfill their calling Clarify Expectations Practice Accountability 33:45 “To be trusted in the most inspiring form of human motivation”. It brings out the best in people. Less micro-management and better trust returned to you. 34:45 Our positions/hierarchy type leadership need to be changed to a leadership of trust & inspire. If we trust people, they will perform better 37:30 Two more behaviors identified: Council – should be collaborative -- listen first, try to understand, and reflect that you are trying to understand. Not judging, not agreeing, not disagreeing, just listening. Steven M. R. Covey is the son of Steven R. Covey of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and co-founder of Covey Link and the Franklin Covey Global Speed of Trust practice. He is a highly sought-after and compelling keynote speaker and advisor on trus... Highlights
3:19 What it was like growing up in the Covey home and how the principles his father was teaching in the marketplace were first taught in the home. Things like “green & clean”, “listen first”. The principles in the book were for the marketplace but were started at home with his family. They were the guinea pigs of “7 habits”.

4:40 How he started on the business side but shifted career path to current leadership roles

5:20 Not one thing that lead to “trust” as his focus, but many different things that lead to that.

* There is a high cost to low trust
* Trust is learnable
* Trust is not just a good thing, and social thing but it is a multiplier and key to leadership. All things are better with trust.
* Trust and love are critical, you can love and not trust but it is best to have both. It is better to be trusted than loved. (David O McKay) Love is critical.
* It applies to everything, business, church, marriage, every level of human interaction.

10:40 “Fish are the last ones to discover water.” How to determine amount of trust when we are called to a position. We need to be intentional, not just use position power, but rely on credibility, influence, trust. Seek best interest of others.

12:50 Positions may not come with trust. Description of low trust tax, that may confer to us from prior leaders, as well as low trust dividend.

14:00 Trust is built through our credibility and behavior:

* Credibility: character trust (integrity, intent, care, more about others well-being, showing we care) and competence trust (current, learning, performance, do what we say)
* Behavior – how we do whatever we do, we want to model behavior that builds trust
* We want leaders that care, and are very competent as well. We don’t have to be perfect, we have to be willing

23:00 We need to look in the mirror and see how we are doing with trust.

24:10 How do we help those who have a deficit of trust – first look inward. How do I focus on my credibility, my confidence?

* Declare intent – what you are doing and why.
* Extend trust to others, people will return the trust. There is a risk. We are good at understanding trustworthiness, but not always good at understanding the importance of extending trust – trust others.
* The quickest way to make someone trustworthy, is to extend trust to them.

28:50 Don’t treat people according to their behavior, treat them according to their potential. They will rise to that trust.

29:30 Behaviors that build trust:

* Extend Trust – make sure they know you “trust” them to fulfill their calling
* Clarify Expectations
* Practice Accountability

33:45 “To be trusted in the most inspiring form of human motivation”. It brings out the best in people. Less micro-management and better trust returned to you.

34:45 Our positions/hierarchy type leadership need to be changed to a leadership of trust & i...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 50:00
When the Bishop is Too Nice | An Interview with Dr. Robert Glover https://leadinglds.org/when-the-bishop-is-too-nice-an-interview-with-dr-robert-glover/ Tue, 05 Jun 2018 11:14:09 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41902 Raised in Seattle and presently living in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Dr. Glover is a psychotherapist, author, former minister and recovering “Mr. Nice Guy.” He is a frequent talk-show guest who has been featured in various publications and is the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy. In this podcast, he describes the pitfalls sometimes associated with men trying to be Mr. Nice Guy. Highlights 4:45 Dr. Glover’s experience working with LDS men 6:20 How co-dependence relates to Mr. Nice Guy syndrome 8:50 Three characteristics/covert contracts of Mr. Nice Guy: (1) If I’m a good guy I’ll be liked and loved—my value comes from external sources; (2) If I meet other people’s needs without them asking they’ll meet my needs without my having to ask; (3) If I do everything right I will have a problem-free life. 15:00 How to determine if you are a Mr. Nice Guy. Nice-guy behaviors in marriage and at work. 17:08 Root causes of Nice Guy syndrome in boys and men, and the development of survival mechanisms. 22:30 Organizational and family culture impacts leading to Mr. Nice Guy. “Emotional fusion.” Truly accepting a belief system versus merely following rules. 27:55 How can youth leaders teach correct principles and value systems without seemingly asking for compliance with rules for the mere sake of compliance? Authoritarianism versus making allowance for pushback or inquiry. 32:20 What can a bishop do if he perceives someone is suffering from Nice-Guy syndrome? Connecting with other imperfect people. Teaching the value of growth people achieve by coping with challenges. 38:15 Nice guys becoming chameleons can be detrimental to being true to one’s self. Can the syndrome lead to interest in porn or other addictions? 44:06 The title of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy is not intended to suggest men should not be nice. They should be nice but need to know when to say “no,” while saying “yes” to the most important things, including family. Looking to the example of Christ. 53:25 Conclusion Links Dr. Glover's Website Buy Dr. Glover's Book No More Mr. Nice Guy Self-Assessment Raised in Seattle and presently living in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Dr. Glover is a psychotherapist, author, former minister and recovering “Mr. Nice Guy.” He is a frequent talk-show guest who has been featured in various publications and is the author ... No More Mr. Nice Guy. In this podcast, he describes the pitfalls sometimes associated with men trying to be Mr. Nice Guy.
Highlights
4:45 Dr. Glover’s experience working with LDS men
6:20 How co-dependence relates to Mr. Nice Guy syndrome
8:50 Three characteristics/covert contracts of Mr. Nice Guy: (1) If I’m a good guy I’ll be liked and loved—my value comes from external sources; (2) If I meet other people’s needs without them asking they’ll meet my needs without my having to ask; (3) If I do everything right I will have a problem-free life.
15:00 How to determine if you are a Mr. Nice Guy. Nice-guy behaviors in marriage and at work.
17:08 Root causes of Nice Guy syndrome in boys and men, and the development of survival mechanisms.
22:30 Organizational and family culture impacts leading to Mr. Nice Guy. “Emotional fusion.” Truly accepting a belief system versus merely following rules.
27:55 How can youth leaders teach correct principles and value systems without seemingly asking for compliance with rules for the mere sake of compliance? Authoritarianism versus making allowance for pushback or inquiry.
32:20 What can a bishop do if he perceives someone is suffering from Nice-Guy syndrome? Connecting with other imperfect people. Teaching the value of growth people achieve by coping with challenges.
38:15 Nice guys becoming chameleons can be detrimental to being true to one’s self. Can the syndrome lead to interest in porn or other addictions?
44:06 The title of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy is not intended to suggest men should not be nice. They should be nice but need to know when to say “no,” while saying “yes” to the most important things, including family. Looking to the example of Christ.
53:25 Conclusion
Links
Dr. Glover's Website
Buy Dr. Glover's Book
No More Mr. Nice Guy Self-Assessment]]>
LeadingLDS clean 55:26
How I Lead as @ldsbishop | An Interview with Ross Trewhella https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-ldsbishop-an-interview-with-ross-trewhella-2/ Sun, 27 May 2018 11:30:38 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41872 Ross Trewhella has served as bishop of the Redruth ward in the Plymouth, England stake for nine years. He is from Cornwall, England, and joined the LDS Church while living in Utah. Ross is best known online as @ldsbishop on Twitter, where he offers up humorous insights into the role as part of the #twitterstake. Highlights 03:05 @ldsbishop and being a bishop for 9 years 10:35 The church in his area of the UK; going to the temple 14:05 His conversion story 21:55 Called as ward executive secretary: serving in a Christ-like manner firms up your testimony 23:40 Called as a counselor in the bishopric and then as bishop 27:20 Being bishop to the previous bishop, and characteristics of his ward 29:45 Ministering: Being good at looking after each other 31:05 Minimizing meetings and using technology to communicate as a bishopric 33:55 Ward service efforts for shelters, homeless charity, and food bank 35:25 Leadership principle #1: Keep a sense of humor 38:10 Leadership principle #2: Have skin as thick as a rhino 41:25 Leadership principle #3: Don’t procrastinate 43:45 Leadership principle #4: Listen more than you speak 47:30 Leadership principle #5: Let people serve and forgive them when they mess up 51:05 Managing callings and giving autonomy 53:45 Being open to different opinions and transcending culture and categories 1:03:45 Seeing people as Christ sees them Links @ldsbishop on Twitter #twitterstake on Twitter Signal app Ross Trewhella has served as bishop of the Redruth ward in the Plymouth, England stake for nine years. He is from Cornwall, England, and joined the LDS Church while living in Utah. Ross is best known online as @ldsbishop on Twitter, @ldsbishop on Twitter, where he offers up humorous insights into the role as part of the #twitterstake.
Highlights
03:05 @ldsbishop and being a bishop for 9 years
10:35 The church in his area of the UK; going to the temple
14:05 His conversion story
21:55 Called as ward executive secretary: serving in a Christ-like manner firms up your testimony
23:40 Called as a counselor in the bishopric and then as bishop
27:20 Being bishop to the previous bishop, and characteristics of his ward
29:45 Ministering: Being good at looking after each other
31:05 Minimizing meetings and using technology to communicate as a bishopric
33:55 Ward service efforts for shelters, homeless charity, and food bank
35:25 Leadership principle #1: Keep a sense of humor
38:10 Leadership principle #2: Have skin as thick as a rhino
41:25 Leadership principle #3: Don’t procrastinate
43:45 Leadership principle #4: Listen more than you speak
47:30 Leadership principle #5: Let people serve and forgive them when they mess up
51:05 Managing callings and giving autonomy
53:45 Being open to different opinions and transcending culture and categories
1:03:45 Seeing people as Christ sees them
Links
@ldsbishop on Twitter
#twitterstake on Twitter
Signal app]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:04:23
Creating Effective, Engaging, and Enjoyable LDS Leadership Meetings | An Interview with Mamie Kanfer Stewart https://leadinglds.org/creating-effective-engaging-and-enjoyable-meetings-an-interview-with-mamie-kanfer-stewart/ Sun, 20 May 2018 07:11:56 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41774 Mamie Kanfer Stewart founded her first business at the age of 12 and her entrepreneurial spirit combined with the desire to optimize how people work led Mamie to build Meeteor, whose mission is to enable individuals and teams to thrive at work, with a special emphasis on effective meetings. Mamie is a dynamic speaker and has presented at numerous events and been interviewed on a variety of podcasts. She has been featured in Forbes, Inc, Business Collective, and PCMag, and writes about productivity, healthy team culture, and meeting best practices. She is also a nationally syndicated columnist and national media personality and the author of “Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging and Enjoyable Meetings”. Highlights (8:30) Common meeting challenges #1: Meetings that don’t have a clear purpose “I don’t know why we’re having this meeting” and “I don’t know why I’m at this meeting” (11:35) How to create a clear purpose Create a desired outcome – “I want the outcome of this meeting to be….” Detailed agenda helps to see if meeting is leading to desired outcome (agenda is created from desired outcome) (19:20) At beginning of the meeting or subsection of meeting, state the desired outcome (22:30) Six kinds of meeting types: Make a decision Create a plan Generate ideas Align people’s understanding (different than sharing information) Connect (building relationships) Produce (24:25) Common Meeting Challenges #2: How meetings end and what happens after Record of the decisions made and next steps (stated and written) Make record easy for everyone to access (34:00) Meetings are a cycle Decisions and next steps coming out of one meeting may become part of the desired outcome of the next meeting Helps people get out of the mindset that meetings are discrete isolated events (37:15) Importance of reviewing and revisiting meeting notes (42:00) Engaging meeting participants as a meeting leader (45:00) Best practices for avoiding meetings that should be emails Could this outcome be achieved by another form of collaboration? (50:00) Creating space in a meeting for private reflection time (51:00) “Norms” – ground rules or expectations for how the conversation/meeting is going to be run Links Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging, and Enjoyable Meetings, by Mamie Kanfer Stewart Successful Meetings Start with Why Advance Your Meeting Conversation with Norms 5 Practices to Make Every Meeting Matter www.mamieks.com On Twitter at: @mamieks www.meeteor.com 7 Unbreakable Rules of Church Meetings, by Leading LDS Mamie Kanfer Stewart founded her first business at the age of 12 and her entrepreneurial spirit combined with the desire to optimize how people work led Mamie to build Meeteor, whose mission is to enable individuals and teams to thrive at work, Mamie is a dynamic speaker and has presented at numerous events and been interviewed on a variety of podcasts. She has been featured in Forbes, Inc, Business Collective, and PCMag, and writes about productivity, healthy team culture, and meeting best practices. She is also a nationally syndicated columnist and national media personality and the author of “Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging and Enjoyable Meetings”.
Highlights
(8:30) Common meeting challenges #1: Meetings that don’t have a clear purpose


* “I don’t know why we’re having this meeting” and “I don’t know why I’m at this meeting”
* (11:35) How to create a clear purpose

* Create a desired outcome – “I want the outcome of this meeting to be….”
* Detailed agenda helps to see if meeting is leading to desired outcome (agenda is created from desired outcome)
* (19:20) At beginning of the meeting or subsection of meeting, state the desired outcome



(22:30) Six kinds of meeting types:


* Make a decision
* Create a plan
* Generate ideas
* Align people’s understanding (different than sharing information)
* Connect (building relationships)
* Produce

(24:25) Common Meeting Challenges #2: How meetings end and what happens after


* Record of the decisions made and next steps (stated and written)
* Make record easy for everyone to access
* (34:00) Meetings are a cycle

* Decisions and next steps coming out of one meeting may become part of the desired outcome of the next meeting
* Helps people get out of the mindset that meetings are discrete isolated events
* (37:15) Importance of reviewing and revisiting meeting notes



(42:00) Engaging meeting participants as a meeting leader
(45:00) Best practices for avoiding meetings that should be emails


* Could this outcome be achieved by another form of collaboration?

(50:00) Creating space in a meeting for private reflection time
(51:00) “Norms” – ground rules or expectations for how the conversation/meeting is going to be run

Links
Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging, and Enjoyable Meetings, by Mamie Kanfer Stewart
Successful Meetings Start with Why
Advance Your Meeting Conversation with Norms
5 Practices to Make Every Meeting Matter
www.mamieks.com
On Twitter at: @mamieks
www.meeteor.com
7 Unbreakable Rules of Church Meetings, by Leading LDS]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:01:12
Build an A-Team in Your Calling | An Interview with Whitney Johnson https://leadinglds.org/build-an-a-team-in-your-calling-an-interview-with-whitney-johnson/ Sun, 13 May 2018 06:18:21 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41753 Whitney Johnson is an expert on disruptive innovation and personal disruption, recognized as one of the 50 leading business thinkers in the world. She is a writer, speaker, consultant and coach on innovation initiatives for leaders. Her book, “Build an ‘A’ Team: Play to Their Strengths and Lead Them Up the Learning Curve” is the leadership handbook to accompany her previous book, “Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work”. Whitney served a mission in Uruguay and currently serves as a Laurel adviser. She and her husband live in Massachusetts and have two children. Highlights 06:20 Background of the book, “Build an ‘A’ Team” 07:30 It’s people who disrupt, not organizations, and when people are learning something new they are innovative and drive disruption innovation within their organization 08:20 Protesters who demand change vs. people who drive change 11:00 Being a leader means having humility and allowing others to have their own revelation 12:50 Applying the S curve to learning in church callings 18:00 The importance of engagement 22:50 Personal engagement fatigue and church callings 24:30 Comparing where we are today to our past 26:00 Is the life of someone we serve better because of what we have done? 28:15 Repetition and change 29:00 Changing the job description to what is needed now 31:30 Choosing leaders by who they are on the inside, choosing people for potential and what really needs to be done 35:30 The learning curves of people in a calling Links Previous LeadingLDS interview with Whitney: Disrupting Your Calling WhitneyJohnson.com Whitney's books: Build an “A” Team: Play to Their Strengths and Lead Them Up the Learning Curve Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work Dare, Dream, Do: Remarkable Things Happen when you Dare to Dream Whitney Johnson is an expert on disruptive innovation and personal disruption, recognized as one of the 50 leading business thinkers in the world. She is a writer, speaker, consultant and coach on innovation initiatives for leaders. Her book, Highlights
06:20 Background of the book, “Build an ‘A’ Team”
07:30 It’s people who disrupt, not organizations, and when people are learning something new they are innovative and drive disruption innovation within their organization
08:20 Protesters who demand change vs. people who drive change
11:00 Being a leader means having humility and allowing others to have their own revelation
12:50 Applying the S curve to learning in church callings
18:00 The importance of engagement
22:50 Personal engagement fatigue and church callings
24:30 Comparing where we are today to our past
26:00 Is the life of someone we serve better because of what we have done?
28:15 Repetition and change
29:00 Changing the job description to what is needed now
31:30 Choosing leaders by who they are on the inside, choosing people for potential and what really needs to be done
35:30 The learning curves of people in a calling
Links
Previous LeadingLDS interview with Whitney: Disrupting Your Calling
WhitneyJohnson.com
Whitney's books:
Build an “A” Team: Play to Their Strengths and Lead Them Up the Learning Curve
Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work
Dare, Dream, Do: Remarkable Things Happen when you Dare to Dream]]>
LeadingLDS clean 42:16
Supporting Divorced Members in the LDS Church | An Interview With Cydney Hatch https://leadinglds.org/supporting-divorced-members-in-the-lds-church-an-interview-with-cydney-hatch/ Thu, 10 May 2018 23:44:40 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41247 Cydney Afton Hatch is a polka-dot-wearing business owner, photographer, cupcake enthusiast and recently-turned writer, who through her work shares her personal experience with divorce and encourages others to rebuild their lives, redefine their relationship with God, and find peace. As a lifelong member of the church and always having a gift for finding and creating beauty, her biggest challenge was finding beauty in the aftermath of her divorce. Through her faith in Christ, she has found that even in the challenges of life there is beauty in the struggle. Turning to faith with patience, many tears, a big dose of laughter, and creativity, Cydney embraced her unexpected life and found beauty even in her struggles. Raised in the nation’s capital of Washington D.C., Cydney owns Afton Photography where her work has been featured in major publications including Cosmopolitan, The Hill, The Washington Post, and Minted. She received a bachelors of History from Brigham Young University-Idaho, has worked with the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, and currently works for Disruptive Advertising. She resides in Utah. Episode Highlights 4:15 Married in 2011 & divorced after 3 years 6:45 Peace about letting go of her marriage 7:30 How she sought help for her marriage 8:00 Going to see the bishop Talk about it—there needs to be more discussion in the church about divorce 12:45 Cydney’s decision to go to the bishop 17:00 The need for resources for single parenting & divorce in the church 22:15 What resources can help someone who is divorced feel love & stay active in the church 24:00 Divorce members need to be involved 26:00 The grieving process of divorce 31:45 Rock bottom is from where we rebuild 34:00 How bishops can help through & after divorce 38:30 Normalizing divorce in the church 40:00 How to include divorced members 43:30 Cydney’s journey since her divorce 45:15 How can a YSA bishop encourage a divorced member Links When Eternity is Not Forever wheneternityisnotforever.com Instagram: @wheneternityisnotforever Twitter: @WhenEternity Facebook: When Eternity is Not Forever Cydney Afton Hatch is a polka-dot-wearing business owner, photographer, cupcake enthusiast and recently-turned writer, who through her work shares her personal experience with divorce and encourages others to rebuild their lives,
As a lifelong member of the church and always having a gift for finding and creating beauty, her biggest challenge was finding beauty in the aftermath of her divorce.
Through her faith in Christ, she has found that even in the challenges of life there is beauty in the struggle. Turning to faith with patience, many tears, a big dose of laughter, and creativity, Cydney embraced her unexpected life and found beauty even in her struggles.

Raised in the nation’s capital of Washington D.C., Cydney owns Afton Photography where her work has been featured in major publications including Cosmopolitan, The Hill, The Washington Post, and Minted.
She received a bachelors of History from Brigham Young University-Idaho, has worked with the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, and currently works for Disruptive Advertising.
She resides in Utah.
Episode Highlights
4:15 Married in 2011 & divorced after 3 years
6:45 Peace about letting go of her marriage
7:30 How she sought help for her marriage
8:00 Going to see the bishop
Talk about it—there needs to be more discussion in the church about divorce
12:45 Cydney’s decision to go to the bishop
17:00 The need for resources for single parenting & divorce in the church
22:15 What resources can help someone who is divorced feel love & stay active in the church
24:00 Divorce members need to be involved
26:00 The grieving process of divorce
31:45 Rock bottom is from where we rebuild
34:00 How bishops can help through & after divorce
38:30 Normalizing divorce in the church
40:00 How to include divorced members
43:30 Cydney’s journey since her divorce
45:15 How can a YSA bishop encourage a divorced member
Links
When Eternity is Not Forever
wheneternityisnotforever.com
Instagram: @wheneternityisnotforever
Twitter: @WhenEternity
Facebook: When Eternity is Not Forever]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:00:00
How I Lead in Turkey | An Interview with Murat Cakir https://leadinglds.org/murat-cakir/ Sun, 06 May 2018 08:00:42 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41416 Murat Chakir is a pioneer for the LDS Church in his native country, Turkey. He joined the church while studying in Norway, served a mission to Arizona, completed his education at Brigham Young University, and then returned to Turkey where he served as branch president. He currently serves in the mission presidency of the Central Eurasian Mission, which includes Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkey, and Uzbekistan. Episode Highlights 4:55 Personal faith development before joining the church 10:00 School in Norway and discovery of Jesus Christ as more than a prophet 14:30 Meeting the LDS missionaries 16:00 Gaining a testimony of Jesus Christ as a truth-seeker from a Muslim background 18:20 Experiencing the Spirit through the missionaries 19:20 Joining the LDS Church 21:40 Gaining a testimony of a living prophet 23:20 Choosing to go on a mission 24:45 Mission to Arizona and resolution of passport issues 31:30 Working on Book of Mormon translation while at BYU 33:30 Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon compared to translating it into Turkish 35:00 Discovery of 1903 translation by Armenian missionaries; no animosity between nations within the gospel 39:50 Creating the Turkish name for the church 43:40 Return to Turkey and building the church there, from Babylon Street to Dove Street 47:30 Dedication of building by Elder Christofferson 48:25 Experiences as a branch president in a developing area with great challenges, and creation of website that brought in referrals 53:50 Muslim perspective of Christians in Turkey 54:35 Elder Holland quote about his experience dedicating Turkey 56:15 Growth of the church in Turkey 57:15 Attending the temple from Turkey 58:05 Continuing goals and efforts to reach truth-seekers and grow the church 59:50 Being part of a mission presidency over a large area with few members 1:02:00 Suggestions for struggling branch presidents: minister like Christ did 1:04:10 Using technology to create missionary experiences and conversions 1:07:50 We need to be out and listening to the people 1:08:25 Pray for the saints in Turkey, where ancient saints lived Links http://www.mormonum.org/ Murat Chakir is a pioneer for the LDS Church in his native country, Turkey. He joined the church while studying in Norway, served a mission to Arizona, completed his education at Brigham Young University, and then returned to Turkey where he served as ... Episode Highlights
4:55 Personal faith development before joining the church
10:00 School in Norway and discovery of Jesus Christ as more than a prophet
14:30 Meeting the LDS missionaries
16:00 Gaining a testimony of Jesus Christ as a truth-seeker from a Muslim background
18:20 Experiencing the Spirit through the missionaries
19:20 Joining the LDS Church
21:40 Gaining a testimony of a living prophet
23:20 Choosing to go on a mission
24:45 Mission to Arizona and resolution of passport issues
31:30 Working on Book of Mormon translation while at BYU
33:30 Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon compared to translating it into Turkish
35:00 Discovery of 1903 translation by Armenian missionaries; no animosity between nations within the gospel
39:50 Creating the Turkish name for the church
43:40 Return to Turkey and building the church there, from Babylon Street to Dove Street
47:30 Dedication of building by Elder Christofferson
48:25 Experiences as a branch president in a developing area with great challenges, and creation of website that brought in referrals
53:50 Muslim perspective of Christians in Turkey
54:35 Elder Holland quote about his experience dedicating Turkey
56:15 Growth of the church in Turkey
57:15 Attending the temple from Turkey
58:05 Continuing goals and efforts to reach truth-seekers and grow the church
59:50 Being part of a mission presidency over a large area with few members
1:02:00 Suggestions for struggling branch presidents: minister like Christ did
1:04:10 Using technology to create missionary experiences and conversions
1:07:50 We need to be out and listening to the people
1:08:25 Pray for the saints in Turkey, where ancient saints lived
Links
http://www.mormonum.org/]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:12:07
Creating Engagement Through Ministering Interviews | An Interview with DeAnna Murphy https://leadinglds.org/creating-engagement-through-ministering-interviews-an-interview-with-deanna-murphy/ Wed, 25 Apr 2018 06:06:26 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41268 DeAnna Murphy is a leadership consultant, coach, facilitator, and speaker, and the founder/CEO of Strengths Strategy Inc. and its affiliate, People Acuity, where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. She was born in Provo, Utah, but grew up in Canada, and met her husband at Ricks College. They had three children and live in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where she has served as Stake Relief Society President. Highlights 1:34 How do we help ourselves and others stay fully engaged? 3:46 How can you understand your auxiliaries strength? 4:20 How can we apply engagement at home? 4:46 To be meaningfully engaged there must be a sense of connection, and an ability to understand your contribution and purpose alignment. 8:10 Understand your role/purpose. 9:11 What is the bigger “why”? 10:29 Doctrine and Covenants 43:8,9 The Lord teaches Joseph Smith by council. 12:13 Ask good questions/teach by council. 16:02  Get correct counsel on core principles. 18:52 To feel alignment while teaching ask: What did you notice about that? What does that mean? How would you apply that? Has anyone had an experience like that? 21:48 John 17- Why does He want us to be one so badly? That my joy might be fulfilled in you. 26:47 Which of these points in the lesson are important to Heavenly Father? 29:05 The council creates interdependence. 31:15 There is no engagement from a talking head. 31:56 Co-dependence is the primary voice of us vs. them. 33:06 There should not a be a “you people” in our church culture. 35:34 Our value does not go up and down like the stock market. 37:04 When people begin to see their value through the lens of strength they see Gods DNA in them. 42:06 Four categories of strengths Strategic Thinking Executing Relationship driven Influencers 49:55 We are drawn to those like us because they validate us. 55:35 What does my patriarchal blessing show me about my strengths? 57:40 What can you count on me for? What do I need? 1:00:00 During one on one interviews pull up and extra chair for the Savior to sit with you as you minister and always pray with them. 1:07:00 During the interviews ask them…How are you doing? What are you learning from the Spirit? What are you learning in your assignment? 1:08:00 Everyone is the one. 1:09:00 Ask your children, even grown children what the Spirit is teaching them. Links Print version of Shift Up!: Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living Ebook version of Shift Up!: Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living PeopleAcuity.com DeAnna's How I Lead interview: Mentoring Relief Society Presidents Through Love Claiming Your Contribution Gallup StrengthsFinder (CliftonStrengths Assessment) DeAnna Murphy is a leadership consultant, coach, facilitator, and speaker, and the founder/CEO of Strengths Strategy Inc. and its affiliate, People Acuity, where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. She was born in Provo, Utah, Highlights
1:34 How do we help ourselves and others stay fully engaged?
3:46 How can you understand your auxiliaries strength?
4:20 How can we apply engagement at home?
4:46 To be meaningfully engaged there must be a sense of connection, and an ability to understand your contribution and purpose alignment.
8:10 Understand your role/purpose.
9:11 What is the bigger “why”?
10:29 Doctrine and Covenants 43:8,9 The Lord teaches Joseph Smith by council.
12:13 Ask good questions/teach by council.
16:02  Get correct counsel on core principles.
18:52 To feel alignment while teaching ask:
What did you notice about that?
What does that mean?
How would you apply that?
Has anyone had an experience like that?
21:48 John 17- Why does He want us to be one so badly? That my joy might be fulfilled in you.
26:47 Which of these points in the lesson are important to Heavenly Father?
29:05 The council creates interdependence.
31:15 There is no engagement from a talking head.
31:56 Co-dependence is the primary voice of us vs. them.
33:06 There should not a be a “you people” in our church culture.
35:34 Our value does not go up and down like the stock market.
37:04 When people begin to see their value through the lens of strength they see Gods DNA in them.
42:06 Four categories of strengths
Strategic Thinking
Executing
Relationship driven
Influencers
49:55 We are drawn to those like us because they validate us.
55:35 What does my patriarchal blessing show me about my strengths?
57:40 What can you count on me for? What do I need?
1:00:00 During one on one interviews pull up and extra chair for the Savior to sit with you as you minister and always pray with them.
1:07:00 During the interviews ask them…How are you doing? What are you learning from the Spirit? What are you learning in your assignment?
1:08:00 Everyone is the one.
1:09:00 Ask your children, even grown children what the Spirit is teaching them.
Links
Print version of Shift Up!: Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living
Ebook version of Shift Up!: Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living
PeopleAcuity.com
DeAnna's How I Lead interview: Mentoring Relief Society Presidents Through Love
Claiming Your Contribution
Gallup StrengthsFinder (CliftonStrengths Assessment)]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:22:21
Creating More Good in the World & in Leadership | An Interview with David Neeleman https://leadinglds.org/creating-more-good-in-the-world-in-leadership-an-interview-with-david-neeleman/ Wed, 11 Apr 2018 15:55:56 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41121 Born in Brazil and raised in Utah, David Neeleman is an entrepreneur who has founded or co-founded five commercial airlines: Morris Air, WestJet, JetBlue, Azul Brazilian Airlines and TAP Air Portugal. Morris Air was acquired by Southwest Air in 1993. David served a mission in Brazil as a young adult and speaks Portuguese. He and his wife have ten children, including one they adopted in recent years. The Neelemans have 18 grandchildren. David was featured in The Mormon Way of Doing Business and in Flying High. Episode Highlights 1:00: Undistinguished academic background in high school and University of Utah. Has ADD. Served LDS mission during period of explosive church growth in Brazil in the late 1970’s. Sold Morris Air to Southwest when he was 33 years of age. Wanted to remain passionately involved in something of value and not simply be an investor. Highlights of his involvement with the airlines referenced above. 5:40: Impact of serving a mission and the necessity of faith combined with works. Witnessed the area of Brazil where he served grow from five branches to five stakes in a very short time. 7:18: Father of a large family. Advice he gives his kids as they go to serve missions: lose yourself, don’t think about home excessively and love the people. 9:20: Missionary success began to shape his life. Invented e-ticket travel and in-home reservations by people who are working from home. Is wired to see things differently and attempt what no one else has done before without being discouraged by naysayers. Being entrepreneurial requires making sacrifices. 12:48: ADD discussed, including the fact that children in same family can be very different from one another. Proper encouragement is needed. Some great business leaders have suffered from ADD. Street wisdom about A, B, C and D students. 15:58: How the egalitarian structure of the Church has affected his business approach to dealing with employees and providing customer service. His thoughts about executive lunch rooms and parking spaces. Impact of satisfied employees on customer base. Discussion about pleasing employees vs shareholders. 21:00: Establishing a healthy culture by leadership style in Church organizations. Helping people feel fulfilled and loved, not guilty. Prayerful thought is required. 22:40: Establishing and leading by values. JetBlue’s values. Breaking the china when necessary. 25:45: Serving as ward mission leader for about eight years in New Cambridge, CT. 26:25: More on vision and values—what would Jesus do in setting the tone in Church organizations. Church service a respite from the “belly of the beast” all week long. Keeping values at the forefront. 29:00: Making time for family, not golf. LDS leavening influenced is needed in the world. People respond to leadership that is inspired by gospel principles even if it’s not presented as such. 33:00: David’s preferences for books, especially books about world progress and development more than books about leadership. Some favorites, other than religious, are: Outliers, David and Goliath, Tipping Point, Accidental Superpower and books about founding fathers of the U.S.A. 35:20: Founding the More Good Foundation. Helping maintain a positive image for the Church. Buying URL’s so that people on search engines have positive encounters online regarding the Church. 41:22: Being a better follower of Christ by learning to know Him and gaining a testimony of the Book of Mormon. Don’t get caught up in the “noise.” The Lord needs LDS people to lead in society and business. Links The Mormon Way of Doing Business Outliers David and Goliath Tipping Point Accidental Superpower The More Good Foundation Born in Brazil and raised in Utah, David Neeleman is an entrepreneur who has founded or co-founded five commercial airlines: Morris Air, WestJet, JetBlue, Azul Brazilian Airlines and TAP Air Portugal. Morris Air was acquired by Southwest Air in 1993. The Mormon Way of Doing Business and in Flying High.
Episode Highlights
1:00: Undistinguished academic background in high school and University of Utah. Has ADD. Served LDS mission during period of explosive church growth in Brazil in the late 1970’s. Sold Morris Air to Southwest when he was 33 years of age. Wanted to remain passionately involved in something of value and not simply be an investor. Highlights of his involvement with the airlines referenced above.
5:40: Impact of serving a mission and the necessity of faith combined with works. Witnessed the area of Brazil where he served grow from five branches to five stakes in a very short time.
7:18: Father of a large family. Advice he gives his kids as they go to serve missions: lose yourself, don’t think about home excessively and love the people.
9:20: Missionary success began to shape his life. Invented e-ticket travel and in-home reservations by people who are working from home. Is wired to see things differently and attempt what no one else has done before without being discouraged by naysayers. Being entrepreneurial requires making sacrifices.
12:48: ADD discussed, including the fact that children in same family can be very different from one another. Proper encouragement is needed. Some great business leaders have suffered from ADD. Street wisdom about A, B, C and D students.
15:58: How the egalitarian structure of the Church has affected his business approach to dealing with employees and providing customer service. His thoughts about executive lunch rooms and parking spaces. Impact of satisfied employees on customer base. Discussion about pleasing employees vs shareholders.
21:00: Establishing a healthy culture by leadership style in Church organizations. Helping people feel fulfilled and loved, not guilty. Prayerful thought is required.
22:40: Establishing and leading by values. JetBlue’s values. Breaking the china when necessary.
25:45: Serving as ward mission leader for about eight years in New Cambridge, CT.
26:25: More on vision and values—what would Jesus do in setting the tone in Church organizations. Church service a respite from the “belly of the beast” all week long. Keeping values at the forefront.
29:00: Making time for family, not golf. LDS leavening influenced is needed in the world. People respond to leadership that is inspired by gospel principles even if it’s not presented as such.
33:00: David’s preferences for books, especially books about world progress and development more than books about leadership. Some favorites, other than religious, are: Outliers, David and Goliath, Tipping Point, Accidental Superpower and books about founding fathers of the U.S.A.
35:20: Founding the More Good Foundation. Helping maintain a positive image for the Church. Buying URL’s so that people on search engines have positive encounters online regarding the Church.
41:22: Being a better follower of Christ by learning to k...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 44:31
Stimulating a Culture of Ministering | An Interview with Nola and Mike Patterson https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-and-create-a-culture-of-ministering-an-interview-with-nola-and-mike-patterson/ Sun, 08 Apr 2018 08:00:31 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=41025 Nola & Mike Patterson have been married for more than 26 years. Originally from the Alberta, Canada area, they now make their home in Las Vegas, Nevada. Brother Patterson has served in various callings, including Young Men presidencies, as an Elders Quorum President, in bishoprics, and as a bishop. He currently serves as an early-morning seminary teacher. Sister Patterson has served as a Young Women’s President and Relief Society President, among other responsibilities. Brother and Sister Patterson have found success in their leadership responsibilities as they have focused on ministering to individuals and families not well known to the ward and creating opportunities for those individuals to participate and serve. They have also focused on finding others to assist them in these efforts, realizing that there was only so much they could do on their own. In this episode of How I Lead, Brother and Sister Patterson discuss with Kurt their approach to reaching out and helping those who need ministering to. Leadership Principle #1: Focus on Ministering (19:00) Leadership Principle #2: Be respectful of people’s time (37:45) Leadership Principle #3: Do what you can and then let go (46:40) Leadership Principle #4: Seeking out those who are under utilized (52:30) Nola & Mike Patterson have been married for more than 26 years. Originally from the Alberta, Canada area, they now make their home in Las Vegas, Nevada. Brother Patterson has served in various callings, including Young Men presidencies,
Brother and Sister Patterson have found success in their leadership responsibilities as they have focused on ministering to individuals and families not well known to the ward and creating opportunities for those individuals to participate and serve. They have also focused on finding others to assist them in these efforts, realizing that there was only so much they could do on their own.

In this episode of How I Lead, Brother and Sister Patterson discuss with Kurt their approach to reaching out and helping those who need ministering to.

Leadership Principle #1: Focus on Ministering (19:00)
Leadership Principle #2: Be respectful of people’s time (37:45)
Leadership Principle #3: Do what you can and then let go (46:40)
Leadership Principle #4: Seeking out those who are under utilized (52:30)
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:02:10
Introverts in the LDS Church | An Interview with Adam McHugh https://leadinglds.org/introverts-in-the-lds-church-an-interview-with-adam-mchugh/ Sun, 25 Mar 2018 07:20:27 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=40767 Interview Transcript Available Below Adam McHugh is a spiritual director, chaplain, speaker, and retreat leader. The author of Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, he is an ordained Presbyterian minister, having earned a Masters of Divinity and Masters of Theology in Greek New Testament from Princeton Theological Seminary. He is also the author of The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction, and lives in Santa Barbara, California. Episode Highlights 4:30 Becoming an ordained minister 7:30 What led to writing Introverts in the Church 10:50 Explanation of introversion and extroversion 16:00 Problems that introverts experience at church 19:00 Understanding the discomfort of personal vulnerability and sharing beliefs as an expression of faith 22:00 Introverts generally prefer depth over breadth 24:00 The power of listening: experience at a hospital 30:00 Introverts and small talk 34:00 How introverts approach dealing with conflict and decisions 40:00 Silence, reverence, and the internal experience compared to active social environments 45:20 Cultural clash of introvert and extrovert leaders: overcoming stereotypes and encouraging introverts to be leaders 48:50 Reaching out to invite introverts to participate Links Adam's Website Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction Interview Transcript LLDS: Today we are communicating with Adam McHugh in California. How are you, Adam? ADAM: Doing very well. How about yourself? LLDS: Very good. Did I say your last name correctly? ADAM: You got it. LLDS: All right. Very nice, very nice. Now, you are, tell us (00:04:00) a little bit about what we need about know about you. The big thing I guess on this podcast we generally have LDS or Mormons on as guests, but you are not a Mormon. So what are you? ADAM: It is true. I am an ordained Presbyterian minister. Though in truth I go to an Episcopal church. LLDS: Nice. ADAM: But I was ordained in the Presbyterian church about 12 years ago. LLDS: Nice. And so what is the, when you say you're ordained, (00:04:30) what does that mean? Does that mean you went to seminary for awhile or what does that even mean? ADAM: It means they made me jump through about a thousand hoops, is basically what that means. I went to Princeton theological seminary and that is required for ordination, not Princeton. But going to seminary, getting a master's of divinity. I also stuck around for another year and got a masters of theology and Greek New Testament as well and had to do 2 church internships and one internship at a hospital as a chaplain, was actually (00:05:00) very instrumental in my future calling. And yeah. And then I had to go to about a thousand meetings in order to get approved. LLDS: Wow. Wow. Intense. ADAM: It was a, I would never do it again. I'm glad I was young when I went through all that because now it sounds exhausting. LLDS: So does that mean, I mean, your day to day or are you some type of pastor to a church or what's your day to day job now? ADAM: I have the title now, you know, writer and speaker and retreat leader (00:05:30) is really how I identify myself and certainly connected to churches and all that. So certified spiritual director as well, but I don't have a formal preaching ministry or not working full time. LLDS: And is that the typical path for someone who's gone through the different education you've gone to, that they end up with, some, running some type of a church or ADAM: Usually or else, you know, working as a chaplain of some kind, which I did for a few years. But generally, you know, a Presbyterian minister is going (00:06:00) to be a minister at a particular church and you're, it's not like other denominations where you move around from church to church, Interview Transcript Available Below - Adam McHugh is a spiritual director, chaplain, speaker, and retreat leader. The author of Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, he is an ordained Presbyterian minister,
Adam McHugh is a spiritual director, chaplain, speaker, and retreat leader. The author of Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, he is an ordained Presbyterian minister, having earned a Masters of Divinity and Masters of Theology in Greek New Testament from Princeton Theological Seminary. He is also the author of The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction, and lives in Santa Barbara, California.
Episode Highlights
4:30 Becoming an ordained minister
7:30 What led to writing Introverts in the Church
10:50 Explanation of introversion and extroversion
16:00 Problems that introverts experience at church
19:00 Understanding the discomfort of personal vulnerability and sharing beliefs as an expression of faith
22:00 Introverts generally prefer depth over breadth
24:00 The power of listening: experience at a hospital
30:00 Introverts and small talk
34:00 How introverts approach dealing with conflict and decisions
40:00 Silence, reverence, and the internal experience compared to active social environments
45:20 Cultural clash of introvert and extrovert leaders: overcoming stereotypes and encouraging introverts to be leaders
48:50 Reaching out to invite introverts to participate
Links

* Adam's Website
* Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture
* The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction

Interview Transcript
LLDS: Today we are communicating with Adam McHugh in California. How are you, Adam?

ADAM: Doing very well. How about yourself?

LLDS: Very good. Did I say your last name correctly?

ADAM: You got it.

LLDS: All right. Very nice, very nice. Now, you are, tell us (00:04:00) a little bit about what we need about know about you. The big thing I guess on this podcast we generally have LDS or Mormons on as guests, but you are not a Mormon. So what are you?

ADAM: It is true. I am an ordained Presbyterian minister. Though in truth I go to an Episcopal church.

LLDS: Nice.

ADAM: But I was ordained in the Presbyterian church about 12 years ago.

LLDS: Nice. And so what is the, when you say you're ordained, (00:04:30) what does that mean? Does that mean you went to seminary for awhile or what does that even mean?

ADAM: It means they made me jump through about a thousand hoops, is basically what that means. I went to Princeton theological seminary and that is required for ordination, not Princeton. But going to seminary, getting a master's of divinity. I also stuck around for another year and got a masters of theology and Greek New Testament as well and had to do 2 church internships and one internship at a hospital as a chaplain, was actually (00:05:00) very instrumental in my future calling. And yeah. And then I had to go to about a thousand meetings in order to get approved.

LLDS: Wow. Wow. Intense.

ADAM: It was a, I would never do it again. I'm glad I was young when I went through all that because now it sounds exhausting.

LLDS: So does that mean, I mean, your day to day or are you some type of pastor to a church or what's your day to day job now?

ADAM: I have the title now, you know, writer and speaker and retreat leader (00:05:30) is really how I identify myself and certainly connected t...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 57:15
How I Lead as Relief Society President & Businesswoman | An Interview With Gail Miller https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-relief-society-president-businesswoman-an-interview-with-gail-miller/ Sun, 18 Mar 2018 07:44:22 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=40416 Gail Miller is the owner and chair of the board of directors of the Larry H. Miller group of companies, which includes 65 car dealerships, the Utah Jazz basketball team, Utah Bees baseball team, a chain of movie theatres, and related businesses. She is also a mother, a former Relief Society president, and the author of “Courage to Be You: Inspiring Lessons from an Unexpected Journey”. Episode Highlights 1:45 How the book came to be 6:15 Gail’s service experience as a Relief Society president 10:55 Coming back from inactivity in the church 16:40 Saying the right thing to those who are grieving 18:10 Developing yourself as the spouse of a leader 20:55 Patience as the wife of a busy entrepreneur and as a woman in the church 25:00 Making decisions as a leader 27:30 Stewardship and service Links Courage to Be You: Inspiring Lessons from an Unexpected Journey Gail Miller is the owner and chair of the board of directors of the Larry H. Miller group of companies, which includes 65 car dealerships, the Utah Jazz basketball team, Utah Bees baseball team, a chain of movie theatres, and related businesses. Episode Highlights

* 1:45 How the book came to be
* 6:15 Gail’s service experience as a Relief Society president
* 10:55 Coming back from inactivity in the church
* 16:40 Saying the right thing to those who are grieving
* 18:10 Developing yourself as the spouse of a leader
* 20:55 Patience as the wife of a busy entrepreneur and as a woman in the church
* 25:00 Making decisions as a leader
* 27:30 Stewardship and service

Links
Courage to Be You: Inspiring Lessons from an Unexpected Journey]]>
LeadingLDS clean 36:53
Relationships Before Progress | A Conversation with Tom Christofferson, President David Checketts, and Bishop Bruce Larson https://leadinglds.org/a-conversation-with-tom-christofferson-president-david-checketts-and-bishop-bruce-larson/ Sun, 11 Mar 2018 08:01:33 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=40493 Interview Transcript Available Below Tom Christofferson is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experiences same sex attraction. He is also the brother of Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Tom grew up in the church as a member, served a mission and married in the temple. His short marriage ended and he came out as gay and lived that lifestyle for many years. He started coming back to church with Bruce Larson as a bishop and David Checketts as his stake president. Tom's story is told in his book, That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family. As leaders we can learn a lot from his experience of coming back to church and being rebaptized. Episode Highlights 6:30 Tom's story from the beginning 9:30 His story of excommunication 10:50 How his family wanted their love to be perfect as they accepted him 13:20 Bishop Bruce Larson's side of the story 16:00 Stake President David Checkett's side of the story 18:00 Bishop Larson and President Checketts did not know at first that he was related to Elder Christofferson 20:30 Sharing with the ward coucnil how to make feel Tom welcome 22:30 Response of the ward council 24:00 Tom was welcomed and loved unconditionally 29:00 Tom attended the ward for 5 years before wanting to come back to live the commandments 31:45 During the 5 years how Tom felt welcome in the ward 33:20 Everyone focused on the the relationship with Tom and not his progress 34:30 Study sessions with Tom and President Checketts 38:00 Meeting with Tom's partner 42:00 President Checketts meets with Elder Christofferson about Tom 45:00 Tom Christofferson's rebaptism 48:00 How this experience has helped Bishop Larson to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ 50:00 How this experience has helped President Checketts to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ Links That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family Register for the North Star Leadership Session Interview Transcript LLDS: [00:02:30] Welcome back to the leading LDS podcast. My name is Kurt Francom and today I have the opportunity to be a in beautiful downtown Salt Lake City with and really, I'm across the world and we'll explain that in just a minute. But, let's start with you Tom. I'm in the home of Tom Christofferson. How are you? Tom: Very well, thank you. Thanks for joining us. LLDS: Yeah, well, I'm excited to, to have this opportunity. And, mainly this interview came to be as you release your book that we may be one, a gay Mormons perspective on faith and family and you've been on the interview circuit for. Tom: It's [00:03:00] been an interesting journey. LLDS: I bet it's been very fulfilling that to share your faith through, through this method. Tom: It has been a unique opportunity to be able to talk about my feelings about the Savior and the journey that I feel I have been led along. LLDS: Obviously we'll get the, the obvious things out of the way. So, your last name is Christofferson and our Elder Christofferson's brother. Tom: And he is my brother. LLDS: Oh, that's right. You're becoming more and more famous through this, these interviews. Tom: So, we are a family of [00:03:30] five sons. He is the oldest and I'm the youngest. LLDS: Nice. I'm the youngest too, so I can, I can empathize with that. That's right. That's right. And now, and we'll get into your story in the book a little bit, but also interviewed the other member or they introduce the other members that are part of the interview. So, we're going as far as Australia to talk with President David Checketts. How are you a President Checketts. Checketts: I'm doing well. LLDS: Good. And now you don't live in Australia? I think many people recognize your name here in Utah, but you generally live in Connecticut. Is [00:04:00] that right? Checketts: Yes. I've lived in New Canaan, Interview Transcript Available Below - Tom Christofferson is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experiences same sex attraction. He is also the brother of Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
Tom Christofferson is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experiences same sex attraction. He is also the brother of Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Tom grew up in the church as a member, served a mission and married in the temple. His short marriage ended and he came out as gay and lived that lifestyle for many years. He started coming back to church with Bruce Larson as a bishop and David Checketts as his stake president. Tom's story is told in his book, That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family. As leaders we can learn a lot from his experience of coming back to church and being rebaptized.
Episode Highlights

* 6:30 Tom's story from the beginning
* 9:30 His story of excommunication
* 10:50 How his family wanted their love to be perfect as they accepted him
* 13:20 Bishop Bruce Larson's side of the story
* 16:00 Stake President David Checkett's side of the story
* 18:00 Bishop Larson and President Checketts did not know at first that he was related to Elder Christofferson
* 20:30 Sharing with the ward coucnil how to make feel Tom welcome
* 22:30 Response of the ward council
* 24:00 Tom was welcomed and loved unconditionally
* 29:00 Tom attended the ward for 5 years before wanting to come back to live the commandments
* 31:45 During the 5 years how Tom felt welcome in the ward
* 33:20 Everyone focused on the the relationship with Tom and not his progress
* 34:30 Study sessions with Tom and President Checketts
* 38:00 Meeting with Tom's partner
* 42:00 President Checketts meets with Elder Christofferson about Tom
* 45:00 Tom Christofferson's rebaptism
* 48:00 How this experience has helped Bishop Larson to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ
* 50:00 How this experience has helped President Checketts to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ

Links
That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family

Register for the North Star Leadership Session


Interview Transcript
LLDS: [00:02:30] Welcome back to the leading LDS podcast. My name is Kurt Francom and today I have the opportunity to be a in beautiful downtown Salt Lake City with and really, I'm across the world and we'll explain that in just a minute. But, let's start with you Tom. I'm in the home of Tom Christofferson. How are you?

Tom: Very well, thank you. Thanks for joining us.

LLDS: Yeah, well, I'm excited to, to have this opportunity. And, mainly this interview came to be as you release your book that we may be one, a gay Mormons perspective on faith and family and you've been on the interview circuit for.

Tom: It's [00:03:00] been an interesting journey.

LLDS: I bet it's been very fulfilling that to share your faith through, through this method.

Tom: It has been a unique opportunity to be able to talk about my feelings about the Savior and the journey that I feel I have been led along.

LLDS: Obviously we'll get the, the obvious things out of the way. So, your last name is Christofferson and our Elder Christofferson's brother.

Tom: And he is my brother.

LLDS: Oh, that's right. You're becoming more and more famous through this, these interviews.

Tom: So, we are a family of [00:03:30] five sons. He is the oldest and I'm the youngest.

LLDS: Nice. I'm the youngest too, so I can, I can empathize with that. That's right. That's right. And now, and we'll get into your story in the book a little bit,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 58:57
Being Prepared to Love LGBT Latter-day Saints | A Conversation With 4 LDS Bishops https://leadinglds.org/lgbt-issues-in-the-bishops-office/ Sun, 04 Mar 2018 08:13:07 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=40359 Interview Transcript Available Below Scott Mackintosh and his wife Becky live in Lehi, Utah and are the parents of seven children, including their son Xian, who came out as gay at age 24. Scott is currently a bishop in a YSA ward at BYU, and Becky is on the board at North Star International. Chris Staggs and his wife of 18 years live in Overland Park, Kansas  with their four sons, ages 7 through 17. He experiences same-gender attraction and began to talk about it after serving as a bishop. Travis Steward and his wife Margaret have been married 32 years and have six children and grandchildren. Travis is a former bishop, mission president (Houston, Texas), and has served in stake presidencies. He has experienced same-gender attraction throughout his life and finally began to talk about it a few years ago. In this podcast, we talk about how we can be better leaders week-to-week for the LGBT members in our wards and communities. Episode Highlights 7:30 Chris Staggs’s introduction and how he became involved with North Star through coming to terms with his same-gender attraction 12:00 Scott Mackintosh’s story of his son coming out, and how that led to a change of heart for him and a conversion to love and empathy for everyone 18:00 Travis Steward’s introduction and his experience as a man who experiences same-gender attraction but buried it for most of his life and struggled through shame and his own inner stories 26:45 How Travis came out to his wife and openly acknowledged his same-sex attraction and began to deal with what he had held inside for so many years 30:55 Chris’s experience coming out to his wife and church leaders after he had served as a bishop 35:35 Scott’s realization that he needed to look at the experience of others instead of focusing on himself, how his son’s experience helped him realize how much shame is involved, and how it changed how he leads 42:40 Proactively creating an open, safe, compassionate space to have these conversations and diminish shame 48:00 What am I doing as a bishop to make sure that people would trust me and be willing to share the most personal, painful issues in their life? 51:00 Bishops don’t have to know everything 53:00 We need to be prepared so that when someone comes to us we can get it right the first time 1:04:00 What to say or not say as a leader 1:17:25 These are principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ that are applicable to everyone Links North Star Conference leadership session registration Scott's story mormonandgay.lds.org Interview Transcript   LLDS: Today I'm sitting down [00:05:30] with, both in person and through the magic of the Internet with a Travis Steward, Scott Mackintosh and Chris Staggs. How are you, Travis? Travis: Good, Scott, how are you doing? LLDS: Excellent. I have all sorts of names going through my head and Chris, you're joining us from, uh, from Kansas City. Is that, right? Chris: Right. LLDS: The reason for this gathering here is to hopefully promote a message of love and also make leaders out there [00:06:00] more aware of resources that are available to them as they strive to enhance their leadership ability, especially in the context of our LGBT brothers and sisters that, hopefully are finding a place in, in our congregations and our wards and in a place that they feel comfortable and they can worship with us there. It's, uh, those that have listened to, to Leading LDS for quite some time. Know that we have a, a beautiful relationship, a connection with the North Star, which is another non-profit. And I'll have Chris speak to that in a minute, [00:06:30] but they have a conference coming up in March that I can't stress enough the importance if you are in within a day's drive or can afford a plane ticket to Salt Lake or Provo. Where it's held in Provo. That, that you absolutely get there with as many members of your ward council and spouses, Interview Transcript Available Below - Scott Mackintosh and his wife Becky live in Lehi, Utah and are the parents of seven children, including their son Xian, who came out as gay at age 24. Scott is currently a bishop in a YSA ward at BYU,
Scott Mackintosh and his wife Becky live in Lehi, Utah and are the parents of seven children, including their son Xian, who came out as gay at age 24. Scott is currently a bishop in a YSA ward at BYU, and Becky is on the board at North Star International. Chris Staggs and his wife of 18 years live in Overland Park, Kansas  with their four sons, ages 7 through 17. He experiences same-gender attraction and began to talk about it after serving as a bishop. Travis Steward and his wife Margaret have been married 32 years and have six children and grandchildren. Travis is a former bishop, mission president (Houston, Texas), and has served in stake presidencies. He has experienced same-gender attraction throughout his life and finally began to talk about it a few years ago. In this podcast, we talk about how we can be better leaders week-to-week for the LGBT members in our wards and communities.
Episode Highlights

* 7:30 Chris Staggs’s introduction and how he became involved with North Star through coming to terms with his same-gender attraction
* 12:00 Scott Mackintosh’s story of his son coming out, and how that led to a change of heart for him and a conversion to love and empathy for everyone
* 18:00 Travis Steward’s introduction and his experience as a man who experiences same-gender attraction but buried it for most of his life and struggled through shame and his own inner stories
* 26:45 How Travis came out to his wife and openly acknowledged his same-sex attraction and began to deal with what he had held inside for so many years
* 30:55 Chris’s experience coming out to his wife and church leaders after he had served as a bishop
* 35:35 Scott’s realization that he needed to look at the experience of others instead of focusing on himself, how his son’s experience helped him realize how much shame is involved, and how it changed how he leads
* 42:40 Proactively creating an open, safe, compassionate space to have these conversations and diminish shame
* 48:00 What am I doing as a bishop to make sure that people would trust me and be willing to share the most personal, painful issues in their life?
* 51:00 Bishops don’t have to know everything
* 53:00 We need to be prepared so that when someone comes to us we can get it right the first time
* 1:04:00 What to say or not say as a leader
* 1:17:25 These are principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ that are applicable to everyone

Links
North Star Conference leadership session registration
Scott's story
mormonandgay.lds.org
Interview Transcript
 

LLDS: Today I'm sitting down [00:05:30] with, both in person and through the magic of the Internet with a Travis Steward, Scott Mackintosh and Chris Staggs. How are you, Travis?

Travis: Good, Scott, how are you doing?

LLDS: Excellent. I have all sorts of names going through my head and Chris, you're joining us from, uh, from Kansas City. Is that, right?

Chris: Right.

LLDS: The reason for this gathering here is to hopefully promote a message of love and

also make leaders out there [00:06:00] more aware of resources that are available to them as they strive to enhance their leadership ability, especially in the context of our LGBT brothers and sisters that, hopefully are finding a place in, in our congregations and our wards and in a place that they feel comfortable and they can worship with us there. It's, uh,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:26:00
The Worth of LGBT Souls | North Star Conference https://leadinglds.org/the-worth-of-lgbt-souls-north-star-conference/ Sun, 25 Feb 2018 08:26:00 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=40096 North Star is a faith-affirming resource for Latter-day Saints addressing sexual orientation and gender identity, and who desire to live in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ and the doctrines and values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. North Star has been a remarkable partner with LeadingLDS to help leaders better understand the experience of LGBT members of the Church. North Star has their annual conference coming up March 15-17 with Saturday (17th) including a free leadership session for lay leaders of the Church. THIS IS A MUST ATTEND OPPORTUNITY! We can't stress enough how much this free leadership event would enhance your ability to lead. If you are in a realistic travel distance you will not regret making it a priority on March 17th. To attend the free leadership session you must REGISTER HERE. To give you a sense of how helpful these leadership sessions are, North Star was kind enough to allow us to publish a leadership session from the 2017 North Star conference for this weeks LeadingLDS podcast episode. Be sure to listen above! Episode Highlights Joseph Stith knew from an early age that he experienced same gender attraction. He married the one workman he had been attracted to in his lifetime, that he met right before putting his missionary papers in. As a young man getting married he thought that would take care of his SSA (5:00). Nearly everyone at the conference had been experienced someone coming out to them (2:20) Shared a story of a member going into a disciplinary council and was blown away that all of the leaders learned as much as they could from the Mormonandgay.lds.org website (2:54) Joseph joined the Marine Corps and became a drill instructor, to help him “overcome” his SSA (5:30) When he was almost at a crisis of faith, he turned to his family, the temple and church callings (6:00) After being released from his calling he found his SSA spiralling out of control. He was recommend to go to a blog, where he then found that he wasn’t alone. 7:30 Dealing with the age of the individiual 10:36 The most painful thing that he has heard is after a youth tells their bishop and then says they ignored them for two years. 11:38 Truth and fiction (12:09) Fiction: If someone has same gender attraction, they should not associate with others of the same gender who also has same gender attraction. Menfindingpeace.blogspot.com, offers men supporting other men with SSA. Fiction: SSA is an addiction or Sin. Truth: Coming out to themselves is the first step (15:30) Truth: Coming out to others at their pace and at their choice is part of the healing process (15:39) Personal Crisis of Faith: Individuals bargain with the Lord (16:06) How do people identify if the are SSA. The church has accepted that it’s ok to be SSA (16:34) Remember the spouse is on their own journey. (18:06) Just listen first, don’t try and fix it! (19:07) If you recommend therapy, know what it is you are recommending the therapy for. (19:49) All of us are children of our Heavenly Father have two innate needs (21:51) To be accepted by others (particularly God) Fear rejection What to Say and What not to say 22:35 Don’t: I suspected it all along. We all have our challenges. If you have enough faith. I read this story and someone overcame this and got married. Do: I respect you more for sharing this with me. Kyle Merkely (26:15) first met a transgender person while serving his mission. He then found that there were the people that thought like him. He searched online looking for other church members who felt the way that he did. He wants other people to know that you can be transgendered and to be a member of the church. Jeremy (29:32): Was born and raised Catholic in Southern California. From a young age he always felt different and had strong desires to be female, North Star is a faith-affirming resource for Latter-day Saints addressing sexual orientation and gender identity, and who desire to live in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ and the doctrines and values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-...
North Star has their annual conference coming up March 15-17 with Saturday (17th) including a free leadership session for lay leaders of the Church. THIS IS A MUST ATTEND OPPORTUNITY! We can't stress enough how much this free leadership event would enhance your ability to lead. If you are in a realistic travel distance you will not regret making it a priority on March 17th. To attend the free leadership session you must REGISTER HERE.

To give you a sense of how helpful these leadership sessions are, North Star was kind enough to allow us to publish a leadership session from the 2017 North Star conference for this weeks LeadingLDS podcast episode. Be sure to listen above!
Episode Highlights
Joseph Stith knew from an early age that he experienced same gender attraction. He married the one workman he had been attracted to in his lifetime, that he met right before putting his missionary papers in. As a young man getting married he thought that would take care of his SSA (5:00).

* Nearly everyone at the conference had been experienced someone coming out to them (2:20)
* Shared a story of a member going into a disciplinary council and was blown away that all of the leaders learned as much as they could from the Mormonandgay.lds.org website (2:54)
* Joseph joined the Marine Corps and became a drill instructor, to help him “overcome” his SSA (5:30)
* When he was almost at a crisis of faith, he turned to his family, the temple and church callings (6:00)
* After being released from his calling he found his SSA spiralling out of control. He was recommend to go to a blog, where he then found that he wasn’t alone. 7:30
* Dealing with the age of the individiual 10:36

* The most painful thing that he has heard is after a youth tells their bishop and then says they ignored them for two years. 11:38


* Truth and fiction (12:09)

* Fiction: If someone has same gender attraction, they should not associate with others of the same gender who also has same gender attraction. Menfindingpeace.blogspot.com, offers men supporting other men with SSA.
* Fiction: SSA is an addiction or Sin.
* Truth: Coming out to themselves is the first step (15:30)
* Truth: Coming out to others at their pace and at their choice is part of the healing process (15:39)


* Personal Crisis of Faith: Individuals bargain with the Lord (16:06)
* How do people identify if the are SSA. The church has accepted that it’s ok to be SSA (16:34)
* Remember the spouse is on their own journey. (18:06)
* Just listen first, don’t try and fix it! (19:07)

* If you recommend therapy, know what it is you are recommending the therapy for. (19:49)


* All of us are children of our Heavenly Father have two innate needs (21:51)

* To be accepted by others (particularly God)
* Fear rejection


* What to Say and What not to say 22:35

* Don’t:

* I suspected it all along.
* We all have our challenges.
* If you have enough faith.
* I read this story and someone overcame this and...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:24:05
Battling Mental Illness as a Missionary | An Interview With Alex Whittingham https://leadinglds.org/battling-mental-illness-as-a-missionary-an-interview-with-alex-whittingham/ Sun, 18 Feb 2018 08:36:41 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=39965 Alex Wittingham is a Utah resident, lifetime member of the LDS church, student, returned missionary (New Zealand), football player and son of University of Utah head football coach, Kyle Wittingham and his wife Jamie. Following his missionary service Alex began playing football as a long snapper on the U of U football team. Alex loved his mission, had wonderful companions and a supportive mission president. However, he returned home early following 15 months of dedicated service. The reason for his early release was a combination of anxiety, depression and OCD tendencies. 5:02 Recognized some OCD tendencies by age 12 but assumed it was normal and didn’t have a name for it. There was no dramatic increase in the intensity level until his missionary service when feelings of anxiety were exacerbated without the relief valves he enjoyed before his mission (movies, being with friends). 9:04 Alex discusses his decision to serve a mission and feeling a lack of confidence as he tried to envision himself as a missionary. Was nevertheless overjoyed in being called to serve in New Zealand. 11:40: MTC experience brought on added anxiety, notwithstanding wonderful and supportive fellow missionaries who helped him cope. 14:00 Arriving in New Zealand and facing new realities: contacting strangers. Obsessing over scrupulosity, even though he had done everything necessary to render himself worthy to serve prior to entering the mission field. Being OCD and living in a world of spartan obedience to rules. 18:45 His anxiety and other issues came and went in phases during his missionary service. Opening up to his family in P-day letters was therapeutic. 21:00 Confiding in empathetic companions and his very supportive mission president. Referred to LDS Family Services in New Zealand. 23:15 Turning point—beginning to feel at peace regarding the value of his missionary service and the likelihood of an early departure. 26:10 Returning home; weekly counseling continued; coping and managing; useful medications and learning new coping skills. 27:50 Being supported by family and close friends through any feelings of “stigma.” “Your mission is between you and God.” 29:40 The role of his loving stake president and his reassuring bishop in helping him get re-integrated into the ward family. 31:00 Concluding thoughts: Alex is glad he served and loved his mission. It was life-changing and not a mistake. It had not occurred to him, prior to his mission, that he suffered from anything out of the ordinary. He’s glad there now seem to be more pre-mission questions regarding mental wellness. He wonders if leaders recommending candidates for missions should obtain the view of the youth’s parents about any possible emotional or mental conditions that would impact on the ability to serve. 36:12 Why Alex suddenly chose to tweet about his experience following the suicide of a popular singer—desire to help someone else. Describes response to his tweet and a related article in a local newspaper. 38:50 Words of encouragement to fellow sufferers—You are not alone. There is support in the form of angels on earth. Don’t be afraid to reach out and accept help. Links: The OCD Mormon Chad Lewis Interview Salt Lake Tribune Article Anxiety Disorders and Mormonism Conference Discount Code: LeadingLDS Alex Wittingham is a Utah resident, lifetime member of the LDS church, student, returned missionary (New Zealand), football player and son of University of Utah head football coach, Kyle Wittingham and his wife Jamie.
* 5:02 Recognized some OCD tendencies by age 12 but assumed it was normal and didn’t have a name for it. There was no dramatic increase in the intensity level until his missionary service when feelings of anxiety were exacerbated without the relief valves he enjoyed before his mission (movies, being with friends).
* 9:04 Alex discusses his decision to serve a mission and feeling a lack of confidence as he tried to envision himself as a missionary. Was nevertheless overjoyed in being called to serve in New Zealand.
* 11:40: MTC experience brought on added anxiety, notwithstanding wonderful and supportive fellow missionaries who helped him cope.
* 14:00 Arriving in New Zealand and facing new realities: contacting strangers. Obsessing over scrupulosity, even though he had done everything necessary to render himself worthy to serve prior to entering the mission field. Being OCD and living in a world of spartan obedience to rules.
* 18:45 His anxiety and other issues came and went in phases during his missionary service. Opening up to his family in P-day letters was therapeutic.
* 21:00 Confiding in empathetic companions and his very supportive mission president. Referred to LDS Family Services in New Zealand.
* 23:15 Turning point—beginning to feel at peace regarding the value of his missionary service and the likelihood of an early departure.
* 26:10 Returning home; weekly counseling continued; coping and managing; useful medications and learning new coping skills.
* 27:50 Being supported by family and close friends through any feelings of “stigma.” “Your mission is between you and God.”
* 29:40 The role of his loving stake president and his reassuring bishop in helping him get re-integrated into the ward family.
* 31:00 Concluding thoughts: Alex is glad he served and loved his mission. It was life-changing and not a mistake. It had not occurred to him, prior to his mission, that he suffered from anything out of the ordinary. He’s glad there now seem to be more pre-mission questions regarding mental wellness. He wonders if leaders recommending candidates for missions should obtain the view of the youth’s parents about any possible emotional or mental conditions that would impact on the ability to serve.
* 36:12 Why Alex suddenly chose to tweet about his experience following the suicide of a popular singer—desire to help someone else. Describes response to his tweet and a related article in a local newspaper.
* 38:50 Words of encouragement to fellow sufferers—You are not alone. There is support in the form of angels on earth. Don’t be afraid to reach out and accept help.

Links:

* The OCD Mormon
* Chad Lewis Interview
* Salt Lake Tribune Article
* Anxiety Disorders and Mormonism Conference
LeadingLDS clean 44:33
Disrupting Your Calling | An Interview With Whitney Johnson https://leadinglds.org/disrupting-your-calling-an-interview-with-whitney-johnson/ Sun, 11 Feb 2018 08:09:33 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=39782 Whitney Johnson started as a secretary on Wall Street while taking business classes at night. She worked her way up as a successful investment banker. She later co-founded an investment firm with Harvard Business School’s Clayton Christensen. She is an accomplished author of several books, Dare, Dream Do, and Disrupt Yourself. Her newest book coming out this May is called, Build An “A” Team: Play To Their Strengths and Lead Them Up The Learning Curve. Whitney grew up in San Jose California. She also served a mission in Uruguay for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She attended Brigham Young University and received a B.A. in music. While at BYU she met her husband and they were married in the Temple. They currently live in Lexington Virginia and have two children, a son and a daughter. Whitney and her husband have been married for 31 years. Podcast Highlights: 10:35 In her twenties Whitney asked herself, “Do I believe” While she took a step back her husband fasted for her on and off for two years. 13:13 While serving in her current calling she realized, I don’t need to save them just love them. 18:20 Early in her career she started a blog to help her discover what her dreams were. 19:30 Every man and women needs to learn how to be a ship and a harbor. 21:00 Her first book came out in 2012 Dare Dream Do: Remarkable Things Happen When You Dare To Dream. 22:30 She later wrote the book Disrupt Yourself: Putting The Power Of Disruptive Innovation To Work. 23:00 A disruptor is a silly thing that takes over the world. When you disrupt yourself you take over your world. 24:13 Disrupting is managing change. 26:08 How do you disrupt yourself or your ward? Seven Levels of Change #1 Take the right kinds of risk 28:05 28:05 Serve the Lord the way you need to using your talents. 31:25 Ask yourself what I want to accomplish in this calling. #2 Play to your distinctive strengths in your calling. 32:42 34:40 What am I bringing to the table in regards to my calling. 36:26 Think about the things that make you feel strong. 36:46 Think about what exacerbates you. That is one of your strengths. 37:08 What compliments do you get all the time? That is your super power. 37:21 Read your patriarchal blessing. Look for your spiritual gifts while reading it. 38:30 Are you using your strengths and your super powers deliberately in your calling? #3 Embrace Constraints 38:51 39:08 How do we turn those constraint into a tool of creation? 40:20 Elders Bednar's 2017 General Conference address Bear Up Their Burdens With Ease is a great example of how our load is what gets them out. 42:04 Elder Carmack's address about the Powers of the Priesthood is a great example to use your Priesthood Power at its fullest. 42:19 Be prayerful and listen to the Lord. 43:59 Communicate and be open about your constraints with your Bishop. 45:19 Extend callings and invite them to pray about it first. #4 Battle Entitlement 45:56 46:57 The Church helps battle entitlement by the way it is organized, and callings change. #5 Give Failure its Due 48:45 48:52 Reframe your failures. 49:29 We believe we can change, but we don’t always act like we believe it. 50:11 Be open about the things that are hard for us. 51:45 Ask yourself, “how can I make meaning of this?” 51:39 Shame limits disruption, not failure. #6 Step Back in Order to Grow 53:51 54:20 In church we step back to grow as we get new callings. #7 Be Driven By Discovery 55:03 55:47 With each new discovery, alter your plan. 56:27 We are driven by discovery in our church when new information is shared in callings. 57:01 Deal with ambiguity. Work with the unknown. Alter your plan. 57:52 The sin of Certainty. We battle entitlement when we feel like we have it all figured out. When we feel like we have no questions, but the questions are what we need to guide us to discove... Whitney Johnson started as a secretary on Wall Street while taking business classes at night. She worked her way up as a successful investment banker. She later co-founded an investment firm with Harvard Business School’s Clayton Christensen.
Whitney grew up in San Jose California. She also served a mission in Uruguay for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She attended Brigham Young University and received a B.A. in music. While at BYU she met her husband and they were married in the Temple. They currently live in Lexington Virginia and have two children, a son and a daughter. Whitney and her husband have been married for 31 years.
Podcast Highlights:

* 10:35 In her twenties Whitney asked herself, “Do I believe” While she took a step back her husband fasted for her on and off for two years.
* 13:13 While serving in her current calling she realized, I don’t need to save them just love them.
* 18:20 Early in her career she started a blog to help her discover what her dreams were.
* 19:30 Every man and women needs to learn how to be a ship and a harbor.
* 21:00 Her first book came out in 2012 Dare Dream Do: Remarkable Things Happen When You Dare To Dream.
* 22:30 She later wrote the book Disrupt Yourself: Putting The Power Of Disruptive Innovation To Work.
* 23:00 A disruptor is a silly thing that takes over the world. When you disrupt yourself you take over your world.
* 24:13 Disrupting is managing change.
* 26:08 How do you disrupt yourself or your ward?

Seven Levels of Change
#1 Take the right kinds of risk 28:05

* 28:05 Serve the Lord the way you need to using your talents.
* 31:25 Ask yourself what I want to accomplish in this calling.

#2 Play to your distinctive strengths in your calling. 32:42

* 34:40 What am I bringing to the table in regards to my calling.
* 36:26 Think about the things that make you feel strong.
* 36:46 Think about what exacerbates you. That is one of your strengths.
* 37:08 What compliments do you get all the time? That is your super power.
* 37:21 Read your patriarchal blessing. Look for your spiritual gifts while reading it.
* 38:30 Are you using your strengths and your super powers deliberately in your calling?

#3 Embrace Constraints 38:51

* 39:08 How do we turn those constraint into a tool of creation?
* 40:20 Elders Bednar's 2017 General Conference address Bear Up Their Burdens With Ease is a great example of how our load is what gets them out.
* 42:04 Elder Carmack's address about the Powers of the Priesthood is a great example to use your Priesthood Power at its fullest.
* 42:19 Be prayerful and listen to the Lord.
* 43:59 Communicate and be open about your constraints with your Bishop.
* 45:19 Extend callings and invite them to pray about it first.

#4 Battle Entitlement 45:56

* 46:57 The Church helps battle entitlement by the way it is organized, and callings change.

#5 Give Failure its Due 48:45

* 48:52 Reframe your failures.
* 49:29 We believe we can change, but we don’t always act like we believe it.
* 50:11 Be open about the things that are hard for us.
* 51:45 Ask yourself, “how can I make meaning of this?”
* 51:39 Shame limits disruption, not failure.

#6 Step Back in Order to Grow 53:51

* 54:20 In church we step back to grow as we get new callings.

#7 Be Driven By Discovery 55:03

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:06:23
How I Lead as Bishop After a Faith Crisis | An Interview With Dan Conway https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-bishop-after-a-faith-crisis-an-interview-with-dan-conway/ Mon, 05 Feb 2018 20:59:33 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=39695 Dan Conway is a bishop in Newcastle, in northeast England, and has also served as an elders quorum president. He served a mission to Scotland, and works as a digital marketing executive. In this episode Dan walks us through his crisis of faith prior to being called as bishop, and how that affected how he leads now. Episode Summary 5:45 Mission to Scotland 8:45 Faith crisis 14:40 Reading and praying didn’t work as a solution 19:20 Call as Elders Quorum president in the midst of a faith crisis 21:50 Finding the answers to his questions 28:30 Experience bearing his testimony of Joseph Smith 31:15 Becoming the bishop after a faith crisis 43:45 Understanding that people can change and become better 46:15 First year as a bishop 51:20 How he does ward council: short meetings every other week, then visits 56:35 Using an agenda and PPIs 1:01:00 Visiting people after ward council 1:04:00 PPIs  Links: Interview with Arthur Boutin FAIR Mormon   Dan Conway is a bishop in Newcastle, in northeast England, and has also served as an elders quorum president. He served a mission to Scotland, and works as a digital marketing executive. In this episode Dan walks us through his crisis of faith prior to...
Episode Summary

5:45 Mission to Scotland
8:45 Faith crisis
14:40 Reading and praying didn’t work as a solution
19:20 Call as Elders Quorum president in the midst of a faith crisis
21:50 Finding the answers to his questions
28:30 Experience bearing his testimony of Joseph Smith
31:15 Becoming the bishop after a faith crisis
43:45 Understanding that people can change and become better
46:15 First year as a bishop
51:20 How he does ward council: short meetings every other week, then visits
56:35 Using an agenda and PPIs
1:01:00 Visiting people after ward council
1:04:00 PPIs

 Links:
Interview with Arthur Boutin

FAIR Mormon

 
]]> LeadingLDS clean What I Wish I Knew Before I Was Elders Quorum President – Ep. 1 https://leadinglds.org/what-i-wish-i-knew-before-i-was-elders-quorum-president-ep-1/ Wed, 31 Jan 2018 09:25:44 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=39441 Being a newly called elders quorum president can be nerve-racking! So many things to organize and consider. Thankfully, LeadingLDS is here to help. In this episode we have gathered experiences from current and former elders quorum presidents from around the world sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as elders quorum president. You will find their advice inspiring and practical. Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience In an effort to help other elders quorum presidents to learn some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past elders quorum presidents sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as elders quorum president. You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record! How to record: Click the green button below Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes: What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president? Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…” Stop recording Listen to recording and record again if you would like Enter name and email Submit recording by clicking “send” Episode Transcript KURT: Hello and welcome to [00:00:30] the Leading LDS podcast. My name is Kurt Frankham. I'm the executive director of Leading LDS and also the host of the Leading LDS podcast. If you're new to Leading LDS I welcome you. We produce a regular podcast where we discuss topics that will help lay leaders in the LDS Church enhance their leadership ability and capacity. And we do that through various methods. One of those being we interview really smart and intelligent people who have experience in leadership whether in or outside the church, and we talk about strong leadership principles in the context of the LDS church. We [00:01:00] also have a segment called “How I Lead” where we interview everyday leaders and ask them how they go about their day to day, week to week responsibilities as a lay leader in the church. And what you're bound to hear is that we weak segment where we crowdsource the community of Leading LDS and ask them to finish the sentence, what I wish I knew when I was Elder's quorum President, when I was Bishop, Relief Society President, Young Men's President, Young Women's President whatever it is and in this episode, we focus on what I wish I knew before I was Elders Quorum President. Each voice you'll hear we've given them [00:01:30] five minutes or less to talk about what they wish they knew before they're called as Elder's quorum President. Thank you for all the support you show to Leading LDS. And now what I wish I knew before I was Elder's quorum President. CALLER: My name is Adam Elsworth I'm currently an Elder's quorum President. I have been for about two years now. What I wish I knew before I was called or when I was called as an elders quorum president. It's a little bit of a challenging [00:02:00] question, so I feel like I had all the spiritual tools I needed to go to Heavenly Father and find out what my quorum needed and I already somehow, because I didn't have them had a strong sense that I shouldn't be having one on one interviews with my quorum members regularly. So we have done that and those have been very effective and very helpful for ministering in my quorum and to those we home teach. So I had those tools in place. But one thing that is maybe a little surprising or didn’t[00:02:30] suspect although it obvious  is that the more things that I can put on auto pilot, or better said the more things I can have pre scheduled that I don't have to go through the process of scheduling each month, the more effective I've been. So for example with my first elder’s quorum presidency my two counselors moved away, but with those two we didn't necessarily have a set time each month that we would have our presidency meeting. I think we had a goal and it changed pretty fr... Being a newly called elders quorum president can be nerve-racking! So many things to organize and consider. Thankfully, LeadingLDS is here to help. In this episode we have gathered experiences from current and former elders quorum presidents from aroun... Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience
In an effort to help other elders quorum presidents to learn some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past elders quorum presidents sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as elders quorum president.

You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record!
How to record:

* Click the green button below
* Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes:

* What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president?
* Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…”


* Stop recording
* Listen to recording and record again if you would like
* Enter name and email
* Submit recording by clicking “send”



Episode Transcript
KURT: Hello and welcome to [00:00:30] the Leading LDS podcast. My name is Kurt Frankham. I'm the executive director of Leading LDS and also the host of the Leading LDS podcast. If you're new to Leading LDS I welcome you. We produce a regular podcast where we discuss topics that will help lay leaders in the LDS Church enhance their leadership ability and capacity. And we do that through various methods. One of those being we interview really smart and intelligent people who have experience in leadership whether in or outside the church, and we talk about strong leadership principles in the context of the LDS church. We [00:01:00] also have a segment called “How I Lead” where we interview everyday leaders and ask them how they go about their day to day, week to week responsibilities as a lay leader in the church. And what you're bound to hear is that we weak segment where we crowdsource the community of Leading LDS and ask them to finish the sentence, what I wish I knew when I was Elder's quorum President, when I was Bishop, Relief Society President, Young Men's President, Young Women's President whatever it is and in this episode, we focus on what I wish I knew before I was Elders Quorum President. Each voice you'll hear we've given them [00:01:30] five minutes or less to talk about what they wish they knew before they're called as Elder's quorum President. Thank you for all the support you show to Leading LDS. And now what I wish I knew before I was Elder's quorum President.

CALLER: My name is Adam Elsworth I'm currently an Elder's quorum President. I have been for about two years now. What I wish I knew before I was called or when I was called as an elders quorum president. It's a little bit of a challenging [00:02:00] question, so I feel like I had all the spiritual tools I needed to go to Heavenly Father and find out what my quorum needed and I already somehow, because I didn't have them had a strong sense that I shouldn't be having one on one interviews with my quorum members regularly. So we have done that and those have been very effective and very helpful for ministering in my quorum and to those we home teach. So I had those tools in place. But one thing that is maybe a little surprising or didn’t[00:02:30] suspect although it obvious  is that the more things that I can put on auto pilot, or better said the more things I can have pre scheduled that I don't have to go through the process of scheduling each month, the more effective I've been. So for example with my first elder’s quorum presidency my two counselors moved awa...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 25:10
Ministering to the Doubter | An Interview With Terryl Givens https://leadinglds.org/ministering-to-the-doubter-an-interview-with-terryl-givens/ Sun, 28 Jan 2018 08:32:45 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=39463 A transcript of the interview is available below. Terryl Givens, PhD, is a professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond, a private liberal arts college. Baptized initially in the Presbyterian faith by his minister grandfather, Terryl and his family became LDS when Terryl was eight or nine; however, the family of nine became less active. Born in upstate New York and raised largely in the Southwestern U.S.A., when Terryl was sixteen the family relocated to Virginia from another state, having no immediate prospects for employment, friends or a home. Initially they lived in a tent. In Virginia the family was reactivated and Terryl experienced a personal spiritual reawakening. Although he set his sights on a wrestling scholarship at Yale, Terryl was always “bookish,” as he describes it. Following a successful church mission in Brazil he graduated from BYU, where he courted and married Fiona. After graduate work at Cornell he completed his graduate studies at UNC, Chapel Hill, by which time the Givens had five children. Dr. Givens’ scholastic work included a semester abroad in Vienna. Fiona has a graduate degree in history. Terryl has served as a bishop. Although he did not initially fancy himself an author, Dr. Givens has authored a dozen books, including some that have been co-authored with Fiona. He has a special interest in Mormon studies, history and culture. His podcasts are accessible through terrylgivens.com. Episode Highlights 11:37 Unlikely journey to becoming an author…His father’s collection of 19th century anti-LDS literature…Impact of learning the Book of Mormon was the most widely produced book, other than Bible. 15:15 Books are no longer the primary vehicle for disseminating information…Desire to celebrate intellectual and theological richness of Mormonism…People struggling with their faith. 18:00 There is not one, “typical” Mormon testimony…Finding one’s own path in “coming to Christ.” 19:25 Called as bishop in Richmond the week of 9/11…Occupying a position with enormous ability to make a difference in people’s lives…Using the power of the mantle as an influence for good…Ministering to members and promoting member interaction. 23:00 Dealing with faith crises…The gift of empathy…Feeling the weight of their burdens and the texture of their cross…Bishops need to “feel,” not simply fix…Avoiding tendency to view others’ experiences through one’s personal lens regarding matters of faith and other personal struggles. 29:25 President M. Russell Ballard’s powerful statement to leaders: ‘bearing testimony is not the answer to every question’ from people experiencing doubt…Dealing with legitimate perplexities and apparent incongruities…Asking, “What’s at stake in that question?”…Some faith questions are based on false assumptions…Helping people navigate distractions by refocusing on what matters most. 35:10 As a leader, having courage to refer someone to a person with more expertise…Demonstrate validation…Be careful about trying to shut off sources of intellectual inquiry…Transparency. 38:15 “Criminalizing” doubt…Elder Hugh B. Brown’s comment about “apprenticeship in doubt” on path of discipleship…Can faith and uncertainty can co-exist?... “Help thou my unbelief.” Knowing vs believing…On being authentic as to what we know or feel…The culture of “certainty.” 44:52 Scriptural examples of individuals having faith without absolute knowledge…Scriptures appeal to both mind and heart…Saying “I don’t know” and learning together. 47:56 Asking “real” questions in adult Sunday school classes…Does everyone truly agree…Importance of truly spiritual gospel doctrine class teachers…Dealing with boredom in SS class. 52:00 Is there resistance to addressing questions head-on? In the long run, how will church members be fortified? Being “shut down” in the U.K. 55:00 Holy envy…The role of art and literature as sacred vehicles. President Kimball: “When God didn’t have prophets he sp... A transcript of the interview is available below. - Terryl Givens, PhD, is a professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond, a private liberal arts college. Baptized initially in the Presbyterian faith by his minister grandfather,
Terryl Givens, PhD, is a professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond, a private liberal arts college. Baptized initially in the Presbyterian faith by his minister grandfather, Terryl and his family became LDS when Terryl was eight or nine; however, the family of nine became less active. Born in upstate New York and raised largely in the Southwestern U.S.A., when Terryl was sixteen the family relocated to Virginia from another state, having no immediate prospects for employment, friends or a home. Initially they lived in a tent. In Virginia the family was reactivated and Terryl experienced a personal spiritual reawakening. Although he set his sights on a wrestling scholarship at Yale, Terryl was always “bookish,” as he describes it. Following a successful church mission in Brazil he graduated from BYU, where he courted and married Fiona. After graduate work at Cornell he completed his graduate studies at UNC, Chapel Hill, by which time the Givens had five children. Dr. Givens’ scholastic work included a semester abroad in Vienna. Fiona has a graduate degree in history. Terryl has served as a bishop. Although he did not initially fancy himself an author, Dr. Givens has authored a dozen books, including some that have been co-authored with Fiona. He has a special interest in Mormon studies, history and culture. His podcasts are accessible through terrylgivens.com.
Episode Highlights

* 11:37 Unlikely journey to becoming an author…His father’s collection of 19th century anti-LDS literature…Impact of learning the Book of Mormon was the most widely produced book, other than Bible.
* 15:15 Books are no longer the primary vehicle for disseminating information…Desire to celebrate intellectual and theological richness of Mormonism…People struggling with their faith.
* 18:00 There is not one, “typical” Mormon testimony…Finding one’s own path in “coming to Christ.”
* 19:25 Called as bishop in Richmond the week of 9/11…Occupying a position with enormous ability to make a difference in people’s lives…Using the power of the mantle as an influence for good…Ministering to members and promoting member interaction.
* 23:00 Dealing with faith crises…The gift of empathy…Feeling the weight of their burdens and the texture of their cross…Bishops need to “feel,” not simply fix…Avoiding tendency to view others’ experiences through one’s personal lens regarding matters of faith and other personal struggles.
* 29:25 President M. Russell Ballard’s powerful statement to leaders: ‘bearing testimony is not the answer to every question’ from people experiencing doubt…Dealing with legitimate perplexities and apparent incongruities…Asking, “What’s at stake in that question?”…Some faith questions are based on false assumptions…Helping people navigate distractions by refocusing on what matters most.
* 35:10 As a leader, having courage to refer someone to a person with more expertise…Demonstrate validation…Be careful about trying to shut off sources of intellectual inquiry…Transparency.
* 38:15 “Criminalizing” doubt…Elder Hugh B. Brown’s comment about “apprenticeship in doubt” on path of discipleship…Can faith and uncertainty can co-exist?... “Help thou my unbelief.” Knowing vs believing…On being authentic as to what we know or feel…The culture of “certainty.”
* 44:52 Scriptural examples of individuals having faith without absolute knowledge…Scriptures appeal to both mind and heart…Saying “I don’t know” and learning together.
* 47:56 Asking “real” questions in adult Sunday school classes…Does everyone truly agree…Importance of truly spiritual gospel doctrine class teachers…Dealing with boredom in SS class.
* 52:00 Is there resistance to addressing questions head-on? In the long run,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 57:27
How I Lead as Primary President | An Interview With Rachel Davis of TheMormonHome.com https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-primary-president-an-interview-with-rachel-davis-of-themormonhome-com/ Sun, 21 Jan 2018 08:04:08 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=39314 Rachel Davis is a two-time Primary president and lives in Santa Clarita, California, with her husband and children. She was raised in the LDS Church as her family traveled internationally and around the United States for her father's work. She blogs at TheMormonHome.com where she posts resources for LDS families and Primary leaders. Episode Highlights 3:00 Rachel's background and blogging experiences 9:15 How living internationally shaped her experience in the church 13:00 The bulletin board metaphor 14:30 Rachel's family story and development of her testimony 19:20 "Digging deep" in developing a testimony 22:50 Gay marriage issue in California and her family 24:40 Diversity of thought in a room 29:00 Primary presidency experience 32:30 How Rachel's Primary operates 39:40 Five Leadership Principles Stop trying to find someone to tell you No 42:10 Every time you start a program, think about how you're going to finish it (traditions are perilous) 44:10 Church is a volunteer organization, not a corporation 46:15 Be ready to apologize all the time 49:45 Practice spiritual self-care 54:10 Seeing the big picture with Primary children Links Microphone Rachel's ward uses in Primary TheMormonHome.com Rachel Davis is a two-time Primary president and lives in Santa Clarita, California, with her husband and children. She was raised in the LDS Church as her family traveled internationally and around the United States for her father's work. TheMormonHome.com where she posts resources for LDS families and Primary leaders.
Episode Highlights

* 3:00 Rachel's background and blogging experiences
* 9:15 How living internationally shaped her experience in the church
* 13:00 The bulletin board metaphor
* 14:30 Rachel's family story and development of her testimony
* 19:20 "Digging deep" in developing a testimony
* 22:50 Gay marriage issue in California and her family
* 24:40 Diversity of thought in a room
* 29:00 Primary presidency experience
* 32:30 How Rachel's Primary operates
* 39:40 Five Leadership Principles

* Stop trying to find someone to tell you No
* 42:10 Every time you start a program, think about how you're going to finish it (traditions are perilous)
* 44:10 Church is a volunteer organization, not a corporation
* 46:15 Be ready to apologize all the time
* 49:45 Practice spiritual self-care


* 54:10 Seeing the big picture with Primary children

Links
Microphone Rachel's ward uses in Primary

TheMormonHome.com]]>
LeadingLDS clean 57:44
Love Without Works is Dead | An Interview With Chad Lewis, Former BYU Player & NFL Pro-Bowler https://leadinglds.org/love-without-works-is-dead-an-interview-with-chad-lewis-former-byu-player-nfl-pro-bowler/ Sun, 14 Jan 2018 13:02:10 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=39228 Photo Credit: BYU Photo Chad Lewis is from Orem, Utah and walked on to played football for Brigham Young University from 1993 to 1996. After not being drafted into the NFL he walked on to play for the Philadelphia Eagles where he had a successful career as a 3-time pro-bowler. Now retired from football he works for the BYU Athletic department and continues to have a passion for BYU sports. In this episode we talk about his personal development as a leader and how he found the grit and determination to succeed in a difficult sport when he was required to "walk-on" at every level. Chad describes what made his two famous coaches, LaVell Edwards and Andy Reid, incredible leaders and motivators. Episode Highlights: Chad's background 4:00 Chad's childhood and mission 6:00 What advice will you give your children about serving a mission? 11:50 How Chad decided to walk-on to BYU 13:30 How to stay humble and confident on the football field 19:30 How to attack each day and succeed as a competitor 22:00 What Coach LaVell Edwards taught Chad about leadership 24:20 How Coach Edwards showed love through leadership 27:00 How to be a leader and not just a player 32:00 How to motivate as a leader 35:00 What Coach Andy Reid taught Chad about leadership 39:00 Links: The Greatest Salesman in the World, by Og Mandino Tom Brady's Book, The TB12 Method Photo Credit: BYU Photo - Chad Lewis is from Orem, Utah and walked on to played football for Brigham Young University from 1993 to 1996. After not being drafted into the NFL he walked on to play for the Philadelphia Eagles where he had a successful ca...
Chad Lewis is from Orem, Utah and walked on to played football for Brigham Young University from 1993 to 1996. After not being drafted into the NFL he walked on to play for the Philadelphia Eagles where he had a successful career as a 3-time pro-bowler. Now retired from football he works for the BYU Athletic department and continues to have a passion for BYU sports.

In this episode we talk about his personal development as a leader and how he found the grit and determination to succeed in a difficult sport when he was required to "walk-on" at every level. Chad describes what made his two famous coaches, LaVell Edwards and Andy Reid, incredible leaders and motivators.
Episode Highlights:

* Chad's background 4:00
* Chad's childhood and mission 6:00
* What advice will you give your children about serving a mission? 11:50
* How Chad decided to walk-on to BYU 13:30
* How to stay humble and confident on the football field 19:30
* How to attack each day and succeed as a competitor 22:00
* What Coach LaVell Edwards taught Chad about leadership 24:20
* How Coach Edwards showed love through leadership 27:00
* How to be a leader and not just a player 32:00
* How to motivate as a leader 35:00
* What Coach Andy Reid taught Chad about leadership 39:00

Links:
The Greatest Salesman in the World, by Og Mandino

Tom Brady's Book, The TB12 Method

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 46:42
How I Lead as Relief Society President in Palestine | An Interview With Sahar Qumsiyeh https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-relief-society-president-in-palestine-an-interview-with-sahar-qumsiyeh/ Sun, 07 Jan 2018 08:00:08 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=39071 Sahar Qumsiyeh is the author of Peace for a Palestinian: One Woman's Story of Faith amidst War in the Holy Land where she tells of her life as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Palestine. In this interview we hear her story of converting to the LDS Church at Brigham Young University and then serving in church leadership positions when she returned to the Jerusalem Branch and also in Turkey during her graduate school. Sahar currently lives in Rexburg Idaho where she teaches Mathematics. Episode Highlights 2:20 the development of her faith before joining the Church 4:20 What lead her to BYU 5:45 What she knew about Mormons before going to BYU 7:30 Her conversion story 9:30 The transition from Provo, Utah to Palestine as a member of the Church 12:15 Why going to Church was difficult for Sahar as a Palestinian 21:25 Sahar’s experience serving in the LDS Church in Turkey while she attended graduate school 23:15 Being in the Relief Society presidency in Turkey 28:00 Being called as Relief Society president in the Jerusalem Branch 29:30 What the Jerusalem Branch is like 34:00 The creation of the Bethlehem Branch 42:00 Serving as Primary President in the Bethlehem Branch 47:00 Leadership principles learned as a leader in the LDS Church Links: Buy Sahar's book Interview Transcript Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today I'm sitting down in downtown Salt Lake at the [00:03:30] Deseret Book headquarters with Sahar Qumsiyeh. How are you Sahar? Sahar:  I'm doing good thank you. LLDS: Awesome. Now you are not from Salt Lake. You were from the other side of the globe. Sahar: Yeah. LLDS: When people  ask you where you're from what do you tell them? Sahar:  Palestine. LLDS: Nice, And is there specific city? Sahar:  I tell them I'm from Bise Lahore but a lot of people don't know Bise Lahore but it's right next to Bethlehem is about a five minute walk from the Church of Nativity where the savior was born so its just down the hill. LLDS: I've heard of Bethlehem [00:04:00] this is good. You're born in Jerusalem right? The reason we were together is you recently wrote a book about being a Latter Day saint in Palestine.  Obviously there's a story behind this but what led to this book actually coming to reality? Sahar:  Well actually it started out by a very simple Relief Society Project where they encouraged us to write our personal history and I decided I'm going to write my life story. And I did. And I kept adding to it.[00:04:30] As time went by and then one of my friends is like well why don't you publish this. This is interesting because I was sending her my weekly e-mails about sneaking in to get to church and all the difficulties I was facing. She's like you have an interesting life.  You should publish this. People could be interested in my life? So I changed the format a little bit and made it look like something kind of inspirational and kind of topic base. So it's not a biography format. LLDS: [00:05:00] Here it is, nice!  There is a few things I want to talk about. Obviously it's interesting you've served as early Relief Society president and District Relief Society president in Palestine and obviously there's some interesting stories from that and some unique leadership principles you learned from that experience but maybe back up you converted the church when you attended BYU but before that how would you describe the development of your faith? Sahar:  So I  grew up in a place of conflict and it was kind of difficult  [00:05:30] to live there and I was depressed a lot. I participated in demonstrations I saw a lot of people get killed and shot and then imprisoned, and tortured, in jail and all that and it was kind of a difficult life and I became very depressed. Then when I went to BYU, and I grew up as a Christian I knew God existed I just didn't know that God actually hears and answers our prayers. Sahar Qumsiyeh is the author of Peace for a Palestinian: One Woman's Story of Faith amidst War in the Holy Land where she tells of her life as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Palestine. Peace for a Palestinian: One Woman's Story of Faith amidst War in the Holy Land where she tells of her life as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Palestine. In this interview we hear her story of converting to the LDS Church at Brigham Young University and then serving in church leadership positions when she returned to the Jerusalem Branch and also in Turkey during her graduate school. Sahar currently lives in Rexburg Idaho where she teaches Mathematics.
Episode Highlights

* 2:20 the development of her faith before joining the Church
* 4:20 What lead her to BYU
* 5:45 What she knew about Mormons before going to BYU
* 7:30 Her conversion story
* 9:30 The transition from Provo, Utah to Palestine as a member of the Church
* 12:15 Why going to Church was difficult for Sahar as a Palestinian
* 21:25 Sahar’s experience serving in the LDS Church in Turkey while she attended graduate school
* 23:15 Being in the Relief Society presidency in Turkey
* 28:00 Being called as Relief Society president in the Jerusalem Branch
* 29:30 What the Jerusalem Branch is like
* 34:00 The creation of the Bethlehem Branch
* 42:00 Serving as Primary President in the Bethlehem Branch
* 47:00 Leadership principles learned as a leader in the LDS Church

Links:
Buy Sahar's book


Interview Transcript
Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today I'm sitting down in downtown Salt Lake at the [00:03:30] Deseret Book headquarters with Sahar Qumsiyeh. How are you Sahar?

Sahar:  I'm doing good thank you.

LLDS: Awesome. Now you are not from Salt Lake. You were from the other side of the globe.

Sahar: Yeah.

LLDS: When people  ask you where you're from what do you tell them?

Sahar:  Palestine.

LLDS: Nice, And is there specific city?

Sahar:  I tell them I'm from Bise Lahore but a lot of people don't know Bise Lahore but it's right next to Bethlehem is about a five minute walk from the Church of Nativity where the savior was born so its just down the hill.

LLDS: I've heard of Bethlehem [00:04:00] this is good. You're born in Jerusalem right? The reason we were together is you recently wrote a book about being a Latter Day saint in Palestine.  Obviously there's a story behind this but what led to this book actually coming to reality?

Sahar:  Well actually it started out by a very simple Relief Society Project where they encouraged us to write our personal history and I decided I'm going to write my life story. And I did. And I kept adding to it.[00:04:30] As time went by and then one of my friends is like well why don't you publish this. This is interesting because I was sending her my weekly e-mails about sneaking in to get to church and all the difficulties I was facing. She's like you have an interesting life.  You should publish this. People could be interested in my life? So I changed the format a little bit and made it look like something kind of inspirational and kind of topic base. So it's not a biography format.

LLDS: [00:05:00] Here it is, nice!  There is a few things I want to talk about. Obviously it's interesting you've served as early Relief Society president and District Relief Society president in Palestine and obviously there's some interesting stories from that and some unique leadership principles you learned from that ex...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 54:00
How I Lead as Young Women President | An Interview With Kimber Uluave https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-young-women-president-an-interview-with-kimber-uluave/ Sun, 31 Dec 2017 08:00:51 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=38961 Kimber Uluave is a three-time Young Women president (different stakes) who resides in Washington, Utah, near St. George. Born and raised in Cedar City, Utah, she met her husband-to-be, Kivalu , while they were students at Southern Utah University. A Provo native, Kivalu  played football for SUU. The two coincidentally met again while at the MTC. Kimber served in the California San Jose Mission, while Kivalu  served in the Japan Tokyo South Mission. Following their respective missions they reconnected, courted, married and now have three children. Kimber has also served as a gospel doctrine teacher and in a relief society presidency. 8:00 Feelings of inadequacy in leading 42, mostly active young women; different wards—different dynamics; developing deep and profound relationships; listen to spiritual promptings and seek to avoid regrets about your service. 15:00 “I am called of God; my authority is above that of the kings of the earth.” Lord will magnify us if we rise to the occasion. Be courageous; testify; allow your children to see your example of faithful service. 19:30 Helping young women move past tension and competition can restore the spirit of the overall group. Asking an inspired, bold question led to forgiveness and reconciliation. Either allow the Lord to magnify the positives or deal with having the adversary magnify the negatives. Don’t lead by shaming. Getting past the cliché of “just love them.” Inviting people to take action. A relationship based on trust and love makes it easier to extend bold invitation to improve. Contagious love. 5 Key Leadership Principles 29:15 Ministering: We’ve been given the mantle and responsibility and the tools to know what the YW need. Getting to know them on their “turf.” Is the use of social media a help or a hindrance in dealing with young women? 32:02 See and love the youth as the Savior does: We stand in His place and He wants them to be taught leadership and motherhood skills. Being the Lord’s instrument and mouthpiece. Approaching those who are resistant. 33:53 Know the mantle of the calling: Inspiration is available. The Lord fills in the gaps. The “law of compensation.” Witnessing miracles. 36:41 Seek revelation and be in tune to the promptings of the Holy Ghost: Many need us and are on their needs asking for help. Be in tune to know what God wants you to do to respond to their prayers. 39:31 Magnify the Lord’s love in all our efforts: He will magnify you in your calling and that magnifying component can last long after your official efforts/calling have ended. 41:50 Let the girls be leaders and offer ideas that will change their lives: Excellent example of young women, with the relief society’s assistance, deepening relationships and fulfilling a Personal Progress requirement through a group quilting project. Concluding Thought on Discipleship 43:36 How has being a leader helped you to be a better follower and disciple of Jesus Christ? Kimber’s response: In this life we can represent our Savior and say the things He would say and do if He were here. I have seen my joy magnified in every aspect of my life. The joy in our home luminates because of service. It is a gift to have the privilege and ability to serve. Kimber Uluave is a three-time Young Women president (different stakes) who resides in Washington, Utah, near St. George. Born and raised in Cedar City, Utah, she met her husband-to-be, Kivalu , while they were students at Southern Utah University.
8:00 Feelings of inadequacy in leading 42, mostly active young women; different wards—different dynamics; developing deep and profound relationships; listen to spiritual promptings and seek to avoid regrets about your service.

15:00 “I am called of God; my authority is above that of the kings of the earth.” Lord will magnify us if we rise to the occasion. Be courageous; testify; allow your children to see your example of faithful service.

19:30 Helping young women move past tension and competition can restore the spirit of the overall group. Asking an inspired, bold question led to forgiveness and reconciliation. Either allow the Lord to magnify the positives or deal with having the adversary magnify the negatives. Don’t lead by shaming. Getting past the cliché of “just love them.” Inviting people to take action. A relationship based on trust and love makes it easier to extend bold invitation to improve. Contagious love.
5 Key Leadership Principles

* 29:15 Ministering: We’ve been given the mantle and responsibility and the tools to know what the YW need. Getting to know them on their “turf.” Is the use of social media a help or a hindrance in dealing with young women?
* 32:02 See and love the youth as the Savior does: We stand in His place and He wants them to be taught leadership and motherhood skills. Being the Lord’s instrument and mouthpiece. Approaching those who are resistant.
* 33:53 Know the mantle of the calling: Inspiration is available. The Lord fills in the gaps. The “law of compensation.” Witnessing miracles.
* 36:41 Seek revelation and be in tune to the promptings of the Holy Ghost: Many need us and are on their needs asking for help. Be in tune to know what God wants you to do to respond to their prayers.
* 39:31 Magnify the Lord’s love in all our efforts: He will magnify you in your calling and that magnifying component can last long after your official efforts/calling have ended.

* 41:50 Let the girls be leaders and offer ideas that will change their lives: Excellent example of young women, with the relief society’s assistance, deepening relationships and fulfilling a Personal Progress requirement through a group quilting project.



Concluding Thought on Discipleship

43:36 How has being a leader helped you to be a better follower and disciple of Jesus Christ? Kimber’s response: In this life we can represent our Savior and say the things He would say and do if He were here. I have seen my joy magnified in every aspect of my life. The joy in our home luminates because of service. It is a gift to have the privilege and ability to serve.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 47:30
Approaching Difficult Conversations as a Leader | An Interview With John Stoker https://leadinglds.org/approaching-difficult-conversations-as-a-leader-an-interview-with-john-stoker/ Sun, 17 Dec 2017 08:27:53 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=38740 John Stoker currently lives in Springville, Utah and is the President and CEO of DialogueWORKS. John earned a masters degree in Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University and has had an exciting career. His career has taken him all over the country and he even went back to Law school and practiced as a criminal defense attorney. DialogueWORKS helps leaders to develop communication and thinking skills that will help them be more effective with the people that they manage in the organizations that they lead. They help businesses to shift their paradigm by teaching courses on communication, leadership development, or emotional intelligence and critical thinking. In short, they help leaders get out of their "stinking thinking” by helping them achieve results, build relationships, and create respect. John is also the author of Overcoming Fake Talk. Episode Summary Served as a Bishop at BYU 2:50 “What should I do with this person, having a difficult conversation” 5:08 Worry/avoid the conversation and when they do have it they don’t do it well Avoid and compound the problem Handling poor performance 7:40 Address the the issue one-on-one not with the whole team 4 Steps in having a difficult conversation 12:00 1st Step Initiate: Starting the conversation Identify the intent for holding the conversation. What do you want to happen? Create an Attention Check “Can we talk?” 12:43 Share data that you have or are experiencing and interoperation of the data. “I noticed…I’m wondering, thinking, or believing…” Start with data and then share your perspective 14:25 2nd Step Discovery: Ask as many questions that you can 17:05 Confirming Question: Have I or Is it accurate? Learning question: What’s going on? Write down questions: What do I not know? What do I need to know? 3rd Step Connect: 30:32 Summarize their perspective first, then add yours. “If I understand correctly… Does that make sense?" Share your expectations & natural consequences 4th Step Build: 38:00 Create Accountability Build Plan: It needs to be their solution What have you tried? What has worked? What hasn’t worked? Get commitment to plan Will you do this? Connects to motivation Can you do this? Connects to ability Is there anything you need from me? Connects to support The answers to these questions become the facts for the next conversation. “Last month when we talked you said…” Read the persons reaction to check their commitment level General encouragement for leaders 45:40 Prepare: Sit down, think about the person and the context Don’t judge: Learn to suspend judgement and realize we don’t know as much as we think Ask more questions. Listen John Stoker currently lives in Springville, Utah and is the President and CEO of DialogueWORKS. John earned a masters degree in Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University and has had an exciting career.

John Stoker currently lives in Springville, Utah and is the President and CEO of DialogueWORKS. John earned a masters degree in Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University and has had an exciting career. His career has taken him all over the country and he even went back to Law school and practiced as a criminal defense attorney. DialogueWORKS helps leaders to develop communication and thinking skills that will help them be more effective with the people that they manage in the organizations that they lead. They help businesses to shift their paradigm by teaching courses on communication, leadership development, or emotional intelligence and critical thinking. In short, they help leaders get out of their "stinking thinking” by helping them achieve results, build relationships, and create respect. John is also the author of Overcoming Fake Talk.
Episode Summary

* Served as a Bishop at BYU 2:50
* “What should I do with this person, having a difficult conversation” 5:08

* Worry/avoid the conversation and when they do have it they don’t do it well
* Avoid and compound the problem


* Handling poor performance 7:40

* Address the the issue one-on-one not with the whole team


* 4 Steps in having a difficult conversation 12:00

* 1st Step Initiate: Starting the conversation

* Identify the intent for holding the conversation. What do you want to happen?
* Create an Attention Check “Can we talk?” 12:43
* Share data that you have or are experiencing and interoperation of the data. “I noticed…I’m wondering, thinking, or believing…”
* Start with data and then share your perspective 14:25


* 2nd Step Discovery: Ask as many questions that you can 17:05

* Confirming Question:

* Have I or Is it accurate?


* Learning question:

* What’s going on?


* Write down questions:

* What do I not know?
* What do I need to know?




* 3rd Step Connect: 30:32

* Summarize their perspective first, then add yours. “If I understand correctly… Does that make sense?"
* Share your expectations & natural consequences


* 4th Step Build: 38:00 Create Accountability

* Build Plan: It needs to be their solution

* What have you tried? What has worked? What hasn’t worked?


* Get commitment to plan

* Will you do this? Connects to motivation
* Can you do this? Connects to ability
* Is there anything you need from me? Connects to support
* The answers to these questions become the facts for the next conversation. “Last month when we talked you said…”


* Read the persons reaction to check their commitment level




* General encouragement for leaders 45:40

* Prepare: Sit down, think about the person and the context
* Don’t judge: Learn to suspend judgement and realize we don’t know as much as we think
* Ask more questions.
* Listen


]]>
LeadingLDS clean 49:34
How I Lead as CEO & Bishop | An Interview With Don Adams https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-ceo-bishop-an-interview-with-don-adams/ Sun, 10 Dec 2017 08:00:20 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=38592 Don Adams is the CEO of Bear River Mutual in Utah. He was born and raised on a farm in southeast Idaho and served in the military before graduating from Brigham Young University and becoming an elementary school teacher. In 1974 he began working in the insurance industry and has continued doing so ever since. He served a mission to the Central States mission and has served in various church leadership callings, including as a Bishop. In this podcast, Kurt talks with Brother Adams about the experiences he has had in church and business leadership positions and how specific principles can apply to both. Episode Highlights (9:40) How do you create and transfer passion? If done correctly, it's a noble cause if you treat people well (17:45) The importance of being an example as a teacher Think through the process and who your audience is. Establish a relationship with your audience. Help audience to feel comfortable with you establishes a "safe zone" where audience is more likely to listen. (21:00) Establishing rapport with someone. Taking the time to get to know them. "go where they go" Good questions to ask to help someone open up. Quit talking and let them talk. (27:20) Effective youth interviews Limit quantity of questions and keep them open-ended. If they're not responding, don't make a big deal about it. (35:15) How can you get "an honest day's work" from individuals in church callings? (39:30) Teaching others to become leaders "Are you prepared to allow them to fail?" Leadership Principles (31:30) Principle #1: Your attitude sets the tone. (43:45) Principle #2: Don't be afraid to fail. (49:00) Principle #3: Continue to learn. (57:15) Principle #4: Live by your values and principle Don Adams is the CEO of Bear River Mutual in Utah. He was born and raised on a farm in southeast Idaho and served in the military before graduating from Brigham Young University and becoming an elementary school teacher. Bear River Mutual in Utah. He was born and raised on a farm in southeast Idaho and served in the military before graduating from Brigham Young University and becoming an elementary school teacher. In 1974 he began working in the insurance industry and has continued doing so ever since. He served a mission to the Central States mission and has served in various church leadership callings, including as a Bishop. In this podcast, Kurt talks with Brother Adams about the experiences he has had in church and business leadership positions and how specific principles can apply to both.
Episode Highlights

* (9:40) How do you create and transfer passion?

* If done correctly, it's a noble cause if you treat people well


* (17:45) The importance of being an example as a teacher

* Think through the process and who your audience is.
* Establish a relationship with your audience.
* Help audience to feel comfortable with you establishes a "safe zone" where audience is more likely to listen.


* (21:00) Establishing rapport with someone.

* Taking the time to get to know them.
* "go where they go"
* Good questions to ask to help someone open up.
* Quit talking and let them talk.


* (27:20) Effective youth interviews

* Limit quantity of questions and keep them open-ended.
* If they're not responding, don't make a big deal about it.


* (35:15) How can you get "an honest day's work" from individuals in church callings?
* (39:30) Teaching others to become leaders

* "Are you prepared to allow them to fail?"



Leadership Principles

* (31:30) Principle #1: Your attitude sets the tone.
* (43:45) Principle #2: Don't be afraid to fail.
* (49:00) Principle #3: Continue to learn.
* (57:15) Principle #4: Live by your values and principle
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:04:37
Leading OCD Mormons | An Interview With Kari & Jamund Ferguson https://leadinglds.org/leading-ocd-mormons-an-interview-with-kari-jamund-ferguson/ Sun, 03 Dec 2017 08:26:21 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=38409 Kari Ferguson is a wife, mother, BYU graduate, returned missionary, author and experienced local church leader, presently serving as a relief society president. She has also suffered for many years from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety. Kari and Jamund, her husband of nine years, reside in Vancouver, Washington and are the parents of two children. Kari can also be found on LDS Living and The Mighty. Her newest book is The OCD Mormon: Finding Healing and Hope in the Midst of Anxiety. Following is a summary of their podcast interview in which Kari and Jamund discuss symptoms of OCD and its debilitating effects. Suggestions are offered as to how LDS leaders can exhibit sensitivity, and help OCD sufferers in their flock in ways that do not marginalize them or trivialize their condition. Many people with OCD and acute anxiety are very capable of rendering high-quality service in the ward, but it helps to understand what they are up against. The interview concludes with a description of a planned March 3, 2018 conference devoted to OCD/anxiety disorders among church members. It will be held in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. Episode Highlights 4:35—What prompted Kari to write her new book, as a follow-up to an earlier book and her blogsite: https://www.theocdmormon.com. 6:15—Jamund describes meeting Kari and relates his own family background dealing with a parent’s bi-polar disorder, making him more sensitive to the needs of someone with Kari’s condition. 8:08—Kari’s symptoms described; previous issues while serving as primary president; being supported by her husband; being called as relief society president by a bishop who became aware of her condition; learning to delegate; not comparing oneself to the last person who occupied the same position/calling. 12:13—Dealing with the stigma; more symptoms described (hoarding, fear of contamination, hit-and-run fears, tapping, etc.). OCD sufferers tend to hide it with facades, and too many are not getting needed help. 15:04—Knowing when professional intervention is required; living a balanced and healthy life; constant need for reassurance; obsessing over repentance; leaders can recommend professional help without giving offense; missing work and losing sleep; getting “sick” at last minute to avoid social situations; avoiding shopping for fear of contamination. 20:26—The big decision for Kari to seek professional counseling; feeling like a failure; the challenge of finding the “right” therapist. 22:25—Medicine, therapy or both? Changing behavior vs masking it; developing coping skills; perfectionism. 25:04—Is the root cause of a person’s OCD irrelevant? OCD can steal your life; cognitive-behavior therapy; international OCD website; retraining the brain; church leader empathy alone is likely not sufficient to help a person overcome acute OCD. 29:00—Religious scrupulosity/perfectionism; LDS Family Services or another path for intervention? Spousal support. 33:00—Healing and coping will often require more than reading scriptures, praying more often and attending the temple. Connection between mental and spiritual; leaders should avoid tendency towards on-the-spot diagnosis. Leader listening skills paramount. 40:00— Decreasing the stigma and creating a culture/climate where it can be discussed in a healthy way at the ward level. Reference to an apostle who dealt with some mental health issues. 45:23—Just how capable are people with OCD—can they serve in leadership capacity? Allowing for flexibility in how things are done. 52:45—If you are a sufferer, set realistic expectations for yourself; essential vs. non-essential decisions. Kari’s envelope-licking issue. 55:40—Does a person ever get totally cured? More on symptoms and coping mechanisms. 58:20—Why leaders should make room for people to serve, even if they have issues. 1:00:00—More on scrupulosity, perfectionism and constant guilt; feelings of being beyond the rea... Kari Ferguson is a wife, mother, BYU graduate, returned missionary, author and experienced local church leader, presently serving as a relief society president. She has also suffered for many years from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety. The OCD Mormon: Finding Healing and Hope in the Midst of Anxiety. Following is a summary of their podcast interview in which Kari and Jamund discuss symptoms of OCD and its debilitating effects. Suggestions are offered as to how LDS leaders can exhibit sensitivity, and help OCD sufferers in their flock in ways that do not marginalize them or trivialize their condition. Many people with OCD and acute anxiety are very capable of rendering high-quality service in the ward, but it helps to understand what they are up against. The interview concludes with a description of a planned March 3, 2018 conference devoted to OCD/anxiety disorders among church members. It will be held in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.


Episode Highlights

* 4:35—What prompted Kari to write her new book, as a follow-up to an earlier book and her blogsite: https://www.theocdmormon.com.
* 6:15—Jamund describes meeting Kari and relates his own family background dealing with a parent’s bi-polar disorder, making him more sensitive to the needs of someone with Kari’s condition.
* 8:08—Kari’s symptoms described; previous issues while serving as primary president; being supported by her husband; being called as relief society president by a bishop who became aware of her condition; learning to delegate; not comparing oneself to the last person who occupied the same position/calling.
* 12:13—Dealing with the stigma; more symptoms described (hoarding, fear of contamination, hit-and-run fears, tapping, etc.). OCD sufferers tend to hide it with facades, and too many are not getting needed help.
* 15:04—Knowing when professional intervention is required; living a balanced and healthy life; constant need for reassurance; obsessing over repentance; leaders can recommend professional help without giving offense; missing work and losing sleep; getting “sick” at last minute to avoid social situations; avoiding shopping for fear of contamination.
* 20:26—The big decision for Kari to seek professional counseling; feeling like a failure; the challenge of finding the “right” therapist.
* 22:25—Medicine, therapy or both? Changing behavior vs masking it; developing coping skills; perfectionism.
* 25:04—Is the root cause of a person’s OCD irrelevant? OCD can steal your life; cognitive-behavior therapy; international OCD website; retraining the brain; church leader empathy alone is likely not sufficient to help a person overcome acute OCD.
* 29:00—Religious scrupulosity/perfectionism; LDS Family Services or another path for intervention? Spousal support.
* 33:00—Healing and coping will often require more than reading scriptures, praying more often and attending the temple. Connection between mental and spiritual; leaders should avoid tendency towards on-the-spot diagnosis. Leader listening skills paramount.
* 40:00— Decreasing the stigma and creating a culture/climate where it can be discussed in a healthy way at the ward level. Reference to an apostle who dealt with some mental health issues.
* 45:23—Just how capable are people with OCD—can they serve in leadership capacity? Allowing for flexibility in how things are done.
* 52:45—If you are a sufferer, set realistic expectations for yourself; essential vs. non-essential decisions. Kari’s envelope-licking issue.
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:18:55
How to Lift Your Missionary & Unify Your Family Through Letters | An Interview With Robert & Shauri Quinn https://leadinglds.org/how-to-lift-your-missionary-unify-your-family-through-letters-an-interview-with-robert-shauri-quinn/ Sun, 26 Nov 2017 08:00:11 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=38170 Robert and Shauri Quinn are a father, daughter duo who has put together a remarkable book titled Letter from Home: How to Lift Your Missionary & Unify Your Family. This book is a perfect read for families and leaders that are striving to connect with a missionary in their life. In this intervew we talk with Robert and Shauri and discuss what principles leaders need to understand in order to better prepare the future missionary and their family in order to grow closer together when they are serving far apart from each other. Interview Highlights: Bob & Shauri's background (7:00) When they realized they had a book (14:00) How Bob set expectations with his children to be extraordinary missionaries (17:20) The discover of this powerful letter writing process (23:00) Putting a letter writing plan together with the entire family (28:00) Who is the missionaries' most interested investigator? (32:30) How to influence missionaries to improve their letter writing to their family (38:30) How leaders can use this resource to help future missionaries be better letter writers (48:00) How leaders can apply these same principles to their quorums and wards (53:00) Some simple tactics to help you start writing better letters today (57:00) Links: Buy the book Letters From Home Website & Blog Robert and Shauri Quinn are a father, daughter duo who has put together a remarkable book titled Letter from Home: How to Lift Your Missionary & Unify Your Family. This book is a perfect read for families and leaders that are striving to connect with a... Letter from Home: How to Lift Your Missionary & Unify Your Family. This book is a perfect read for families and leaders that are striving to connect with a missionary in their life.

In this intervew we talk with Robert and Shauri and discuss what principles leaders need to understand in order to better prepare the future missionary and their family in order to grow closer together when they are serving far apart from each other.
Interview Highlights:

Bob & Shauri's background (7:00)
When they realized they had a book (14:00)
How Bob set expectations with his children to be extraordinary missionaries (17:20)
The discover of this powerful letter writing process (23:00)
Putting a letter writing plan together with the entire family (28:00)
Who is the missionaries' most interested investigator? (32:30)
How to influence missionaries to improve their letter writing to their family (38:30)
* How leaders can use this resource to help future missionaries be better letter writers (48:00)
* How leaders can apply these same principles to their quorums and wards (53:00)
* Some simple tactics to help you start writing better letters today (57:00)

Links:

Buy the book
* Letters From Home Website & Blog
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:05:35
Be an Instrument in the Lord’s Hands | An Interview With Jenny Oaks Baker | #LighttheWorld https://leadinglds.org/be-an-instrument-in-the-lords-hands-an-interview-with-jenny-oaks-baker-lighttheworld/ Sun, 19 Nov 2017 06:11:20 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=38022 Interview Transcript Available Below Jenny Oaks Baker is the daughter of Elder Dallin H. Oaks (4:15) Jenny started playing violin at age 4 and she says that her faith evolved as her talent evolved. She saw her prayers answered as she performed and was able to be comforted and to do her best. She was also strengthened by priesthood blessings. She received her Bachelor’s degree from The Curtis Institute of Music in Philadelphia and her Master’s degree at Julliard. She met her husband while attending Juilliard and they were married in the temple. She was invited to join the National Symphony and continued with them until her 4th child was born. Heavenly Father has blessed her with lots of opportunities to perform since that time. She was nominated for a Grammy for her “When you Wish upon a Star” album. She talks about receiving her Grammy nomination and how grateful she was for that honor and how it opened doors for her. She realizes the gift that it was, and is grateful for her affiliation with Shadow Mountain Records. Her husband and family help to keep her centered. She is busy raising them, keeping things done at home, and doing her music on the side. 2:55 - spoke of re-evaluating her music career. 6:26 - She practiced violin hours and hours a day. Her patriarchal blessing indicated that Heavenly Father had a plan for her. She says her parents encouraged her to reach her potential. She is very grateful that the Lord has lit her path. 8:06 - How do we encourage children in their musical talents? She always hated practicing, but knew she needed to practice to play well. She loved to perform and so she would practice to perform. Her mother would set up home performances, community performances and many opportunities for her to perform, which helped her to improve. Those performances kept her going. The performances keep her practicing. She LOVES to perform. Now, she only practices when she has a performance. She doesn’t practice now just to practice, due to busy home, children. As she grew, it became more about sharing her gift with others and reaching her potential. 11:44 – Finding her gift for music: The moment she found her “gift” was when she was asked to play for Pres. Hinckley’s 90th birthday celebration in the conference center. Since she knew she loved to perform, and she wanted to showcase her talent. She was 22 and just completed her Masters. She offered some violin virtuoso pieces as options. President Hinckley requested something slower and more well known. This was a disappointment, and wondered how that would “show her skills”. But she offered “Believe me if all those endearing young charms”, and “Hoedown from Rodeo”. Pres. Hinckley requested only the slow piece and she was really worried. Before the performance, the producer spoke to those performing and reminded them that the program wasn’t about them, but it was about President Hinckley and bringing people together and feeling the unity of the church. The chosen song fit so beautifully into the program. It was a great lesson in following the prophet, and that he knew more about music than she did, even though she had just graduated from Juilliard. This helped me become a different artist. How can my music impact people and touch them and bring them together and help them feel Gods love. It’s not about “showing people how I play”, it is a bigger purpose. When she needs to be reminded what she is doing it for - she says, “The Lord will have a humble Jenny”. 16:40 – Being an instrument in the Lords hands: It’s not about us, but about how we share our gifts. This is a good message for lay leaders, about how they can learn and grow and serve and become an instrument in Gods hand. She relayed a memory of a talk by her father to missionaries, using a pen as an object lesson. The pen does what the master requires. He encouraged them to be an instrument in the Lord’s hand. We can be more effective as a tool for Him. Interview Transcript Available Below - Jenny Oaks Baker is the daughter of Elder Dallin H. Oaks (4:15) Jenny started playing violin at age 4 and she says that her faith evolved as her talent evolved. She saw her prayers answered as she performed and w...
Jenny Oaks Baker is the daughter of Elder Dallin H. Oaks (4:15) Jenny started playing violin at age 4 and she says that her faith evolved as her talent evolved. She saw her prayers answered as she performed and was able to be comforted and to do her best. She was also strengthened by priesthood blessings. She received her Bachelor’s degree from The Curtis Institute of Music in Philadelphia and her Master’s degree at Julliard. She met her husband while attending Juilliard and they were married in the temple. She was invited to join the National Symphony and continued with them until her 4th child was born. Heavenly Father has blessed her with lots of opportunities to perform since that time. She was nominated for a Grammy for her “When you Wish upon a Star” album. She talks about receiving her Grammy nomination and how grateful she was for that honor and how it opened doors for her. She realizes the gift that it was, and is grateful for her affiliation with Shadow Mountain Records. Her husband and family help to keep her centered. She is busy raising them, keeping things done at home, and doing her music on the side. 2:55 - spoke of re-evaluating her music career.

6:26 - She practiced violin hours and hours a day. Her patriarchal blessing indicated that Heavenly Father had a plan for her. She says her parents encouraged her to reach her potential. She is very grateful that the Lord has lit her path.

8:06 - How do we encourage children in their musical talents? She always hated practicing, but knew she needed to practice to play well. She loved to perform and so she would practice to perform. Her mother would set up home performances, community performances and many opportunities for her to perform, which helped her to improve. Those performances kept her going. The performances keep her practicing. She LOVES to perform. Now, she only practices when she has a performance. She doesn’t practice now just to practice, due to busy home, children. As she grew, it became more about sharing her gift with others and reaching her potential.

11:44 – Finding her gift for music: The moment she found her “gift” was when she was asked to play for Pres. Hinckley’s 90th birthday celebration in the conference center. Since she knew she loved to perform, and she wanted to showcase her talent. She was 22 and just completed her Masters. She offered some violin virtuoso pieces as options. President Hinckley requested something slower and more well known. This was a disappointment, and wondered how that would “show her skills”. But she offered “Believe me if all those endearing young charms”, and “Hoedown from Rodeo”. Pres. Hinckley requested only the slow piece and she was really worried. Before the performance, the producer spoke to those performing and reminded them that the program wasn’t about them, but it was about President Hinckley and bringing people together and feeling the unity of the church. The chosen song fit so beautifully into the program. It was a great lesson in following the prophet, and that he knew more about music than she did, even though she had just graduated from Juilliard. This helped me become a different artist. How can my music impact people and touch them and bring them together and help them feel Gods love. It’s not about “showing people how I play”, it is a bigger purpose. When she needs to be reminded what she is doing it for - she says, “The Lord will have a humble Jenny”.

16:40 – Being an instrument in the Lords hands: It’s not about us, but about how we share our gifts. This is a good message for lay leaders, about how they can learn and grow and serve and become an instrument in Gods hand. She relayed a memory of a talk by her father to missionaries, using a pen as an object lesson. The pen does what the master requires. He encouraged them to be an instrument in the Lord’s hand.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 40:05
How I Lead as Clerk | An Interview With Brandt Malone, Host of the Mormon News Report https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-clerk-an-interview-with-brandt-malone-host-of-the-mormon-news-report/ Sun, 12 Nov 2017 08:13:38 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=37870 Brandt Malone is a current Young Men's president who was recently released from serving as ward clerk. He lives in Michigan with his family and is the host of the Mormon News Report podcast. In this episode Brandt discusses how to lighten the load of the bishop as a ward clerk. 12:45 Who is Brandt Malone? 20:00 Ward clerk calling 22:30 Demographic of ward in Michigan 31:00 Ward clerk and Executive secretary working as the 3rd and 4th counselor to the bishop. 34:00 Disagreeing with the bishop 37:00 Bishopric meeting being a safe environment 40:00 Confident leaders are confident with other leaders that see things differently. 40:50 5 leadership principles- #1 There's always work to do. 43:00 Keeping balance 44:00 Technology makes callings easier. 45:45 Starting out as ward clerk 47:30 #2- Don't expect hand holding. 50:00 Unknown records tips- find your own system. 51:15 #3- Always offer to help. 56:00 #4- Respect the bishop's time- don't expect him to micromanage you. 1:00:39 Relationships matter. 106:00 Be an active not a passive ward clerk Brandt Malone is a current Young Men's president who was recently released from serving as ward clerk. He lives in Michigan with his family and is the host of the Mormon News Report podcast. In this episode Brandt discusses how to lighten the load of t... Mormon News Report podcast. In this episode Brandt discusses how to lighten the load of the bishop as a ward clerk.

* 12:45 Who is Brandt Malone?
* 20:00 Ward clerk calling
* 22:30 Demographic of ward in Michigan
* 31:00 Ward clerk and Executive secretary working as the 3rd and 4th counselor to the bishop.
* 34:00 Disagreeing with the bishop
* 37:00 Bishopric meeting being a safe environment
* 40:00 Confident leaders are confident with other leaders that see things differently.
* 40:50 5 leadership principles- #1 There's always work to do.
* 43:00 Keeping balance
* 44:00 Technology makes callings easier.
* 45:45 Starting out as ward clerk
* 47:30 #2- Don't expect hand holding.
* 50:00 Unknown records tips- find your own system.
* 51:15 #3- Always offer to help.
* 56:00 #4- Respect the bishop's time- don't expect him to micromanage you.
* 1:00:39 Relationships matter.
* 106:00 Be an active not a passive ward clerk
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:11:40
Around the Globe on November 28 | #GivingTuesday https://leadinglds.org/around-the-globe-on-november-28-givingtuesday/ Thu, 09 Nov 2017 21:27:18 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=37791 On November 28, 2017 we will be taking a virtual trip around the globe to visit lay leaders in the Church in every timezone! It will be an event you do not want to miss. For full details visit the #GivingTuesday page. On November 28, 2017 we will be taking a virtual trip around the globe to visit lay leaders in the Church in every timezone! It will be an event you do not want to miss. - For full details visit the #GivingTuesday page.
For full details visit the #GivingTuesday page.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 10:32
How I Lead With District Leaders | An Interview With Matthew Stevens https://leadinglds.org/matthew-stevens-summary/ Sun, 05 Nov 2017 11:00:36 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=37627 Matt Stevens is a recently released elder’s quorum president in Parker, Colorado. Originally from the Salt Lake Valley, Matt served a mission in northern Argentina and has spent many years as a member of the ward council and priesthood executive committee as a ward mission leader, young men’s president, activities co-chair, and elder’s quorum president. He has also served as an early-morning seminary teacher. Professionally, Brother Stevens is a dentist, having practiced for eight years. He and his wife have lived in Chapel Hill, N.C. and in Oregon before settling in Colorado, and they have four children. As quorum president he was dedicated to the principle of empowering and giving ownership to his counselors, secretary and home teaching district leaders, as well as quorum members. Episode Summary The call to serve as quorum president: 7:55 Scope of responsibility 11:10: Ward size, growth rate and other dynamics. Continuity amid change. Using District Leaders Effectively by Empowerment, Clear Delegation and Trust: 15:20: Organizing to help people move. Getting beyond reliance on “Same Ten People” doing the bulk of the work. Making assignments versus asking for volunteers. Dealing with new move-ins. Support for home teaching companionships. Inclusiveness. Setting apart district leaders. Meet to discuss home teaching “best practices.” District break-out sections during quorum meetings. Share things learned from “failures.” Presidency Meetings: 28:00 Flexibility in selecting meeting times and respecting family priorities. Handling of some administrative matters offline, electronically. Counselor ownership for districts. Home Teaching Designed to Meet Family Needs: 31:29: Determine with the family what constitutes “effective home teaching” in their eyes. Understand Church Handbook meaning of “regular” home teaching. Using district leaders for more than simply gathering numbers. Insight from classic general conference discourse by Elder Holland on home teaching. Five Leadership Principles: Validation through genuine appreciation: 36:00 Lead by Listening, Modeling Supportive Behaviors and Being Authentic: 42:00 Trust and Empower Counselors and Secretaries with Meaningful Assignments: 48:30 Administrative “Minimalism” and Focus on Ministering: 54:30 “Don’t Be a Squeaky Wheel on the Ward Wagon” (helping the bishop vs unloading problems on him) 58:40 How Leading Helps Me to Be a Better Follower: Hard work, grace and self-discovery (Fully invested or just a consumer?) 101:50 Matt Stevens is a recently released elder’s quorum president in Parker, Colorado. Originally from the Salt Lake Valley, Matt served a mission in northern Argentina and has spent many years as a member of the ward council and priesthood executive commit... Episode Summary
The call to serve as quorum president: 7:55

Scope of responsibility 11:10: Ward size, growth rate and other dynamics. Continuity amid change.

Using District Leaders Effectively by Empowerment, Clear Delegation and Trust: 15:20: Organizing to help people move. Getting beyond reliance on “Same Ten People” doing the bulk of the work. Making assignments versus asking for volunteers. Dealing with new move-ins. Support for home teaching companionships. Inclusiveness. Setting apart district leaders. Meet to discuss home teaching “best practices.” District break-out sections during quorum meetings. Share things learned from “failures.”

Presidency Meetings: 28:00 Flexibility in selecting meeting times and respecting family priorities. Handling of some administrative matters offline, electronically. Counselor ownership for districts.

Home Teaching Designed to Meet Family Needs: 31:29: Determine with the family what constitutes “effective home teaching” in their eyes. Understand Church Handbook meaning of “regular” home teaching. Using district leaders for more than simply gathering numbers. Insight from classic general conference discourse by Elder Holland on home teaching.
Five Leadership Principles:

* Validation through genuine appreciation: 36:00
* Lead by Listening, Modeling Supportive Behaviors and Being Authentic: 42:00
* Trust and Empower Counselors and Secretaries with Meaningful Assignments: 48:30
* Administrative “Minimalism” and Focus on Ministering: 54:30
* “Don’t Be a Squeaky Wheel on the Ward Wagon” (helping the bishop vs unloading problems on him) 58:40

How Leading Helps Me to Be a Better Follower: Hard work, grace and self-discovery (Fully invested or just a consumer?) 101:50]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:07:16
What Every Bishop Needs to Understand About Betrayal Trauma https://leadinglds.org/what-every-bishop-needs-to-understand-about-betrayal-trauma/ Sun, 29 Oct 2017 03:10:32 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=37417 Interview Transcript Available Below In this episode we interview Dr. Jill Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Anne Blythe, Director of Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Jill Manning is a PhD level marriage and family councilor and has been practicing for 17 years. She is on two national boards, Enough is Enough and App Status.  She lives in Colorado. Anne Blythe spent seven years trying to save her marriage as her husband battled a pornography addiction. She currently coaches women online who are going through a similar situation. She has a website and hosts a podcast, Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Her website and podcast are dedicated to helping support women through this trauma.   Episode Highlights 2:26 Betrayal trauma is when someone who loves you violates your trust in a critical way. This betrayal can happen to these victims multiple times. 9:36 Anne struggled to put the pieces together in the midst of her trauma and recognize this was in an abusive relationship. 11:13 Sometimes Bishops can have a hard time helping couples through these pornography addictions as two different perspectives are shared, ”he said, she said”   12:11 For Anne going to church during this time was extremely difficult. She kept going because she knew it was right. 13:51 As a Mormon culture we are a trusting people. That can make it hard dealing with addicts who are not always honest due to shame and minimizing the situation. They can also gas light the situation and manipulate reality. 14:36 When helping in the “he said, she said” situations step back and evaluate who is motivated by what. 15:41 It can take women some time to realize they are in an abusive relationship 18:50 It can take months or years to get the full story from the addict. Help teach them that it is ok and normal to spotlight the situation. 21:52 The addict is not mentally capable of divulging everything at once. 22:13 The spouse can be the barometer for what is really happening. 24:21 Secondary Trauma is trauma that comes from asking for help and feeling dismissed. 26:19 For the victims it can help to see action being taken and the addict held accountable. 30:44  Consuming pornography is unrighteous dominion. 31:29  Emotional, spiritual, and financial, abuse is real and often linked to pornography addiction. 34:11  Studies have shown that 2/3 of people struggling with pornography addiction have been found to have a mood disorder. Those studies also show that 44 percent have a personality disorder and narcissistic traits. 34:14 Three studies have shown that 71 percent of women meet the criteria for PTSD as victims of their spouses pornography addiction. 35:29  Zoom into helping the victims with safety first. That includes being physically and spiritual safe. 37:35 Lean on Heavenly Father to help you through this and always establish emotional safety.  Resources and Links: Enough is Enough Betrayal Trauma Recovery  Steve and Kayla's Story of Sexual Addiction and Recovery Jill Manning's Website Interview Transcript: Kurt Francom: Today we are welcoming into the podcast Jill Manning and Anne Blythe. Dr Jill Manning: Doing well. Anne Blythe: Great. Kurt Francom: Jill, maybe let's start with you. Tell us about your background. What does the LeadingLDS world need to know [00:05:00] about you and what you offer to this discussion? Dr Jill Manning: Sure. I'm a PhD level marriage and family therapist. I've been practicing for approximately 17 years now. I'm from Canada originally, but based in Colorado. I sit on two national boards, Enough is Enough, which focuses on internet safety, and also APSATS, which focuses on certifying and training those that are specializing in partners of sex addiction work, and I'm a clinician in private practice. Kurt Francom: Awesome. I love to have a good, solid [00:05:30] expert to throw questions at, for sure. Anne, Interview Transcript Available Below - In this episode we interview Dr. Jill Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Anne Blythe, Director of Betrayal Trauma Recovery. - Jill Manning is a PhD level marriage and family councilor and ha...
In this episode we interview Dr. Jill Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Anne Blythe, Director of Betrayal Trauma Recovery.

Jill Manning is a PhD level marriage and family councilor and has been practicing for 17 years. She is on two national boards, Enough is Enough and App Status.  She lives in Colorado.

Anne Blythe spent seven years trying to save her marriage as her husband battled a pornography addiction. She currently coaches women online who are going through a similar situation. She has a website and hosts a podcast, Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Her website and podcast are dedicated to helping support women through this trauma.  
Episode Highlights

* 2:26 Betrayal trauma is when someone who loves you violates your trust in a critical way. This betrayal can happen to these victims multiple times.
* 9:36 Anne struggled to put the pieces together in the midst of her trauma and recognize this was in an abusive relationship.
* 11:13 Sometimes Bishops can have a hard time helping couples through these pornography addictions as two different perspectives are shared, ”he said, she said”  
* 12:11 For Anne going to church during this time was extremely difficult. She kept going because she knew it was right.
* 13:51 As a Mormon culture we are a trusting people. That can make it hard dealing with addicts who are not always honest due to shame and minimizing the situation. They can also gas light the situation and manipulate reality.
* 14:36 When helping in the “he said, she said” situations step back and evaluate who is motivated by what.
* 15:41 It can take women some time to realize they are in an abusive relationship
* 18:50 It can take months or years to get the full story from the addict. Help teach them that it is ok and normal to spotlight the situation.
* 21:52 The addict is not mentally capable of divulging everything at once.
* 22:13 The spouse can be the barometer for what is really happening.
* 24:21 Secondary Trauma is trauma that comes from asking for help and feeling dismissed.
* 26:19 For the victims it can help to see action being taken and the addict held accountable.
* 30:44  Consuming pornography is unrighteous dominion.
* 31:29  Emotional, spiritual, and financial, abuse is real and often linked to pornography addiction.
* 34:11  Studies have shown that 2/3 of people struggling with pornography addiction have been found to have a mood disorder. Those studies also show that 44 percent have a personality disorder and narcissistic traits.
* 34:14 Three studies have shown that 71 percent of women meet the criteria for PTSD as victims of their spouses pornography addiction.
* 35:29  Zoom into helping the victims with safety first. That includes being physically and spiritual safe.
* 37:35 Lean on Heavenly Father to help you through this and always establish emotional safety. 

Resources and Links:

* Enough is Enough
* Betrayal Trauma Recovery 
* Steve and Kayla's Story of Sexual Addiction and Recovery
* Jill Manning's Website

Interview Transcript:
Kurt Francom: Today we are welcoming into the podcast Jill Manning and Anne Blythe.

Dr Jill Manning: Doing well.

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 45:37
Becoming a Master Interviewer | An Interview With David Farnsworth https://leadinglds.org/becoming-a-master-interviewer-an-interview-with-david-farnsworth/ Sun, 22 Oct 2017 08:00:27 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=37275 David Farnsworth is a retired leadership and executive coach that spent years helping organization improve their interviewing skills through the 3D Interviewing method. In this episode David explains methods LDS leaders can use in order to improve the effectiveness of 1-to-1 interviews and class room teaching through effective questions. Episode Highlights: (7:15) Why do I want to develop my interviewing skills? The question is how do you see your role? Understanding the leader's role in an interaction (11:35) The Fundamentals Be sincerely interested in others. Reading others accurately. Having the vocabulary to articulate. Be willing to be authentic and consistent. Having a good sense of ourselves (self-awareness). Trust others in their ability to respond. Not seeing yourself as the expert, but to uncouple yourself from having all the answers. (17:45) Drawing the Cube exercise (22:00) The Art of Formulating Focused Questions Preparing questions in advance. Draft good questions. Try to put them in a logical order. Examine questions carefully and fine-tune them. (29:45) Active Listening Paraphrase in your own words what the other person has just said: Leaving the other person in control allows you find out how they think, what they're feeling, etc. Three levels of paraphrasing: What was said? (make sure you're clear about what they've said). How was it said? (for example, "I can see this is difficult for you..."). What was not said? Three reactions to paraphrasing - agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification. (44:20) Summarizing - different than paraphrasing. Pulling together the major points of the discussion or topic (your understanding of the discussion). Same three reactions to summarizing as paraphrasing (agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification). (52:45) Sequencing questions - Getting acquainted example. (55:00) Sequencing questions - Problem-solving example. (58:50) Sequencing questions - Classroom example. (67:00) How can I start interviewing using the 3D-I model? "After Action Review David Farnsworth is a retired leadership and executive coach that spent years helping organization improve their interviewing skills through the 3D Interviewing method. In this episode David explains methods LDS leaders can use in order to improve the ...

David Farnsworth is a retired leadership and executive coach that spent years helping organization improve their interviewing skills through the 3D Interviewing method. In this episode David explains methods LDS leaders can use in order to improve the effectiveness of 1-to-1 interviews and class room teaching through effective questions.
Episode Highlights:

* (7:15) Why do I want to develop my interviewing skills?

* The question is how do you see your role?
* Understanding the leader's role in an interaction


* (11:35) The Fundamentals

* Be sincerely interested in others.
* Reading others accurately.
* Having the vocabulary to articulate.
* Be willing to be authentic and consistent.
* Having a good sense of ourselves (self-awareness).
* Trust others in their ability to respond.
* Not seeing yourself as the expert, but to uncouple yourself from having all the answers.


* (17:45) Drawing the Cube exercise
* (22:00) The Art of Formulating Focused Questions Preparing questions in advance.

* Draft good questions.
* Try to put them in a logical order.
* Examine questions carefully and fine-tune them.


* (29:45) Active Listening

* Paraphrase in your own words what the other person has just said:

* Leaving the other person in control allows you find out how they think, what they're feeling, etc.


* Three levels of paraphrasing:

* What was said? (make sure you're clear about what they've said).
* How was it said? (for example, "I can see this is difficult for you...").
* What was not said?




* Three reactions to paraphrasing - agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification.
* (44:20) Summarizing - different than paraphrasing.

* Pulling together the major points of the discussion or topic (your understanding of the discussion).
* Same three reactions to summarizing as paraphrasing (agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification).


* (52:45) Sequencing questions - Getting acquainted example.
* (55:00) Sequencing questions - Problem-solving example.
* (58:50) Sequencing questions - Classroom example.
* (67:00) How can I start interviewing using the 3D-I model?

* "After Action Review



]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:17:43
How I Lead as a Seventy | An Interview With Elder John H. Groberg https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-a-seventy-an-interview-with-elder-john-h-groberg/ Sun, 15 Oct 2017 12:00:39 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=37162 Interview Transcript Available Below Prior to his calling as a general authority seventy, Elder and Sister Groberg (Jean Sabin) lived in Idaho Falls, where Elder Groberg worked in a family-owned residential and commercial construction and land development business with his brothers. He was an eagle scout and holds a BS degree from BYU and an MBA from Indiana University. He served as bishop, mission president in Tonga, and regional representative, before being called to the First Quorum of the Seventy in 1976. In the latter service he served for a time as area president over the Asia, Utah South and North America West areas at various times. On church assignments the Grobergs have lived in Utah, Hong Kong, Idaho Falls, Argentina, Tonga and Hawaii. They have owned a home in Bountiful, Utah since 1978 and served as temple president and matron of the Idaho Falls Temple following service as an active general authority. Elder Groberg has authored five books, typically at the urging of others. His first book, dealing with his experiences as a young missionary in Tonga, was made into a 2001 movie, The Other Side of Heaven, starring Anne Hathaway and Chris Gorham. It was filmed in New Zealand and the Cook Islands and was directed by Mitch Davis. Elder Groberg wrote the book at the urging of President Thomas S. Monson, a member of the First Presidency. Episode Highlights: Why The Other Side of Heaven (Eye of the Storm) Was Written (1:30) Serving as Bishop (12:00) Called to Serve as Mission President (17:41) Serving as a Regional Representative—tantamount to present-day Area Authority Seventy (33:18) Serving as a General Authority (35:39) Serving as President of the Idaho Falls Temple, 2005-2008 (58:10) Links: The Other Side of Heaven John Groberg's Books The Stray Movie Interview Transcript: Kurt Francom: Today, I'm not too far from my home in Bountiful, Utah, in the home of Elder John Groberg. How are you? John Groberg: Just fine. Kurt Francom: Good, I appreciate you taking some time for us to chat. We actually ran into each other. You were at the BYU Bookstore during Education Week. John Groberg: Right. Kurt Francom: Is that something you typically do? John Groberg: No, that was the first time I've done it, in fact. Kurt Francom: Oh, really? John Groberg: Maybe the second. Kurt Francom: And you were kind enough to sign some books for me, and I was a bit nervous, I said, "Hey, would you ever consider doing an interview for my podcast?" And here we are. I appreciate you being open to that. John Groberg: Thank you. Kurt Francom: Now, how long have you lived here in Bountiful? John Groberg: We've been here since 1978. That is, it's been our home base. We've lived in Hong Kong and Argentina and Tonga and Hawaii and Idaho Falls, and during that time we just rented it out, but we've been here just shortly after I was called as a general authority. They asked us to be in the Salt Lake area. Kurt Francom: Now, I'm sure many listening that are ... you were giving conference talks before I was even born, but I remember you and obviously, on my mission, I was serving in Sacramento, California and I remember the day that my mission president called us and said, "Hey, guess what? I'm taking you to a movie." And we thought, "A movie, wow. On our mission, we can go to a movie theater?" And there we went and saw The Other Side of Heaven. And so tell us about that. How did that movie come to be? And for those maybe not familiar with you and your background, what context could you give us? John Groberg: Well, the genesis of it was when I was serving as mission president in Tonga the youngest member of the Quorum of the Twelve at that time, was Thomas S. Monson. Kurt Francom: Oh, wow. John Groberg: And so he was our supervisor. He came many times to Tonga while Jean and I were serving as mission president. And I guess he heard a lot of stories, and shortly after, Interview Transcript Available Below - Prior to his calling as a general authority seventy, Elder and Sister Groberg (Jean Sabin) lived in Idaho Falls, where Elder Groberg worked in a family-owned residential and commercial construction and land devel...
Prior to his calling as a general authority seventy, Elder and Sister Groberg (Jean Sabin) lived in Idaho Falls, where Elder Groberg worked in a family-owned residential and commercial construction and land development business with his brothers. He was an eagle scout and holds a BS degree from BYU and an MBA from Indiana University. He served as bishop, mission president in Tonga, and regional representative, before being called to the First Quorum of the Seventy in 1976. In the latter service he served for a time as area president over the Asia, Utah South and North America West areas at various times. On church assignments the Grobergs have lived in Utah, Hong Kong, Idaho Falls, Argentina, Tonga and Hawaii. They have owned a home in Bountiful, Utah since 1978 and served as temple president and matron of the Idaho Falls Temple following service as an active general authority. Elder Groberg has authored five books, typically at the urging of others. His first book, dealing with his experiences as a young missionary in Tonga, was made into a 2001 movie, The Other Side of Heaven, starring Anne Hathaway and Chris Gorham. It was filmed in New Zealand and the Cook Islands and was directed by Mitch Davis. Elder Groberg wrote the book at the urging of President Thomas S. Monson, a member of the First Presidency.
Episode Highlights:

* Why The Other Side of Heaven (Eye of the Storm) Was Written (1:30)
* Serving as Bishop (12:00)
* Called to Serve as Mission President (17:41)
* Serving as a Regional Representative—tantamount to present-day Area Authority Seventy (33:18)
* Serving as a General Authority (35:39)
* Serving as President of the Idaho Falls Temple, 2005-2008 (58:10)

Links:
The Other Side of Heaven

John Groberg's Books

The Stray Movie
Interview Transcript:
Kurt Francom: Today, I'm not too far from my home in Bountiful, Utah, in the home of Elder John Groberg. How are you?

John Groberg: Just fine.

Kurt Francom: Good, I appreciate you taking some time for us to chat. We actually ran into each other. You were at the BYU Bookstore during Education Week.

John Groberg: Right.

Kurt Francom: Is that something you typically do?

John Groberg: No, that was the first time I've done it, in fact.

Kurt Francom: Oh, really?

John Groberg: Maybe the second.

Kurt Francom: And you were kind enough to sign some books for me, and I was a bit nervous, I said, "Hey, would you ever consider doing an interview for my podcast?" And here we are. I appreciate you being open to that.

John Groberg: Thank you.

Kurt Francom: Now, how long have you lived here in Bountiful?

John Groberg: We've been here since 1978. That is, it's been our home base. We've lived in Hong Kong and Argentina and Tonga and Hawaii and Idaho Falls, and during that time we just rented it out, but we've been here just shortly after I was called as a general authority. They asked us to be in the Salt Lake area.

Kurt Francom: Now, I'm sure many listening that are ... you were giving conference talks before I was even born, but I remember you and obviously, on my mission, I was serving in Sacramento, California and I remember the day that my mission president called us and said, "Hey, guess what? I'm taking you to a movie." And we thought, "A movie, wow. On our mission,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:05:11
Seeing Church Leadership in 12 Different Countries | An Interview with Jake Carlson https://leadinglds.org/seeing-church-leadership-in-12-different-countries-an-interview-with-jake-carlson/ Sun, 08 Oct 2017 17:04:24 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=36995 Jake Carlson, MBA/JD, is a leadership development expert and host of the Modern Leadership Podcast. He created the Elite Achiever Academy to encourage leadership through the CIA of Influence (Conviction, Irresistibility & Accountability). He holds a JD in taxation from California Western School of Law, an MBA in Finance from San Diego State University and a BA from Brigham Young University. Additionally, he is the former Chief Operating Officer of the Silicon Valley Monterey Bay Area Council, BSA and Associate Regional Director of the National BSA Foundation. Jake has been a Young Men leader, a Sunday School teacher, and Sunday School president. His passion is leadership, influence, and helping others discover their zone of genius. After a year abroad, Jake, Kari, and their three children settled (for the time being) in Gilbert, Arizona. Recently, Jake and his family returned from spending nearly a year traveling to twelve countries around the world experiencing the cultures and how the church functions. The Carlson family began their journey in the Philippines, where Brother Carlson served his mission, before traveling to Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Myanmar, Cambodia, Czech republic, Italy, Scotland, England, France, and Wells before returning home to the United States. In the podcast episode, Brother Carlson shares his experiences about the uniqueness of the church in different parts of the world and lessons that he learned as he had opportunities to serve far from home. Enter Jake... In the last year, as a family, we traveled through 12 countries in Asia and Europe, attending 11 different wards, eight branches, one group, and even worshipping in Mandalay, Myanmar, where the Church doesn’t have a presence (yet). Every Sunday provided unique experiences, new friends, and even a few universals (who is teaching Elder’s Quorum this week… anyone?) The Church is awesome wherever you travel; regardless of culture, language, or the poverty within the local geography. We learned a lot, grew closer as a family and saw things our journals will memorialize for generations. We love the Church and found a warm, welcoming church family in every house of worship we attended. The Lord knows the experiences we need and continues to provide opportunities for us to learn. One opportunity in particular changed my understanding of leadership as we passed through Prague, Czech Republic. What started as a two-week stop to see the world-famous Christmas markets turned into 75 days of fun, fellowship, and service. It was there that I learned, really learned, about Sunday School lesson preparation. It happened when a Sunday School teacher asked if I could fill in for her by preparing a Gospel Principles lesson on the Creation for the following week. I agreed. The Czech Republic ocated in Central Europe, east of Germany and north of Austria and has a population over 10 million,  2,500 of which are church members. Formed following the dissolution of Czechoslovakia in 1993, the people have endured many difficult years, including German occupation during World War II and subsequently becoming a one-party communist state. The Church likewise struggled, but the Saints grew strong. For over 40 years, public activity of the Church was prohibited, but members quietly kept their faith, at times sneaking copies of The Book of Mormon into the country with false covers to avoid confiscation. Finally, in 1990, through the efforts of President Monson, the church was granted recognition; there were 345 members. In 2016, President Uchtdorf organized the first stake in the Czech Republic, headquartered in the capital city, Prague. Leadership in the Prague Ward is incredible and missionary work is gathering momentum. Each Sunday, about one quarter of the Prague ward attendance consists of visitors. Sacrament meeting is in Czech, but guests can borrow headphones to listen while the full-time missionaries translate. Jake Carlson, MBA/JD, is a leadership development expert and host of the Modern Leadership Podcast. He created the Elite Achiever Academy to encourage leadership through the CIA of Influence (Conviction, Irresistibility & Accountability). Modern Leadership Podcast. He created the Elite Achiever Academy to encourage leadership through the CIA of Influence (Conviction, Irresistibility & Accountability). He holds a JD in taxation from California Western School of Law, an MBA in Finance from San Diego State University and a BA from Brigham Young University. Additionally, he is the former Chief Operating Officer of the Silicon Valley Monterey Bay Area Council, BSA and Associate Regional Director of the National BSA Foundation. Jake has been a Young Men leader, a Sunday School teacher, and Sunday School president. His passion is leadership, influence, and helping others discover their zone of genius. After a year abroad, Jake, Kari, and their three children settled (for the time being) in Gilbert, Arizona.

Recently, Jake and his family returned from spending nearly a year traveling to twelve countries around the world experiencing the cultures and how the church functions. The Carlson family began their journey in the Philippines, where Brother Carlson served his mission, before traveling to Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Myanmar, Cambodia, Czech republic, Italy, Scotland, England, France, and Wells before returning home to the United States. In the podcast episode, Brother Carlson shares his experiences about the uniqueness of the church in different parts of the world and lessons that he learned as he had opportunities to serve far from home.
Enter Jake...
In the last year, as a family, we traveled through 12 countries in Asia and Europe, attending 11 different wards, eight branches, one group, and even worshipping in Mandalay, Myanmar, where the Church doesn’t have a presence (yet). Every Sunday provided unique experiences, new friends, and even a few universals (who is teaching Elder’s Quorum this week… anyone?) The Church is awesome wherever you travel; regardless of culture, language, or the poverty within the local geography.

We learned a lot, grew closer as a family and saw things our journals will memorialize for generations. We love the Church and found a warm, welcoming church family in every house of worship we attended. The Lord knows the experiences we need and continues to provide opportunities for us to learn.

One opportunity in particular changed my understanding of leadership as we passed through Prague, Czech Republic. What started as a two-week stop to see the world-famous Christmas markets turned into 75 days of fun, fellowship, and service. It was there that I learned, really learned, about Sunday School lesson preparation.

It happened when a Sunday School teacher asked if I could fill in for her by preparing a Gospel Principles lesson on the Creation for the following week. I agreed.

The Czech Republic ocated in Central Europe, east of Germany and north of Austria and has a population over 10 million,  2,500 of which are church members. Formed following the dissolution of Czechoslovakia in 1993, the people have endured many difficult years, including German occupation during World War II and subsequently becoming a one-party communist state.

The Church likewise struggled, but the Saints grew strong. For over 40 years, public activity of the Church was prohibited, but members quietly kept their faith, at times sneaking copies of The Book of Mormon into the country with false covers to avoid confiscation. Finally, in 1990, through the efforts of President Monson, the church was granted recognition; there were 345 members. In 2016, President Uchtdorf organized the first stake in the Czech Republic, headquartered in the capital city, Prague. Leadership in the Prague Ward is incredible and missionary work is gathering momentum.

Each Sunday, about one quarter of the Prague ward attendance consists of visitors....]]>
LeadingLDS clean 42:07
How I Lead as Stake Young Women President | An Interview With Heidi Tucker https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-stake-young-women-president-an-interview-with-heidi-tucker/ Mon, 02 Oct 2017 14:15:23 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=36907 Heidi Tucker is a current Stake Young Women president who has also served as ward Young Women president and an early morning seminary teacher. Check out her other interviewed called When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother's Perspective. Episode Summary 4:00 First experience serving in Young Women's 6:00 What was surprising serving in Young Women's on a stake level? 7:40 5 principles of leadership 7:45 Keep lines of communication open with ward Young Women presidents 12:25 Support the stewardship of the ward Young Women's president. Don't replace them. 15:20 Love the youth and teach them with respect 17:00 We're all at different levels of the gospel. Don't judge...teach. 18:50 Pray to know the path for your stake. Put your ego aside. 23:45 How has serving in the Young Women's made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? Heidi Tucker is a current Stake Young Women president who has also served as ward Young Women president and an early morning seminary teacher. Check out her other interviewed called When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother's Perspective. When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother's Perspective.
Episode Summary
4:00 First experience serving in Young Women's
6:00 What was surprising serving in Young Women's on a stake level?
7:40 5 principles of leadership
7:45 Keep lines of communication open with ward Young Women presidents
12:25 Support the stewardship of the ward Young Women's president. Don't replace them.
15:20 Love the youth and teach them with respect
17:00 We're all at different levels of the gospel. Don't judge...teach.
18:50 Pray to know the path for your stake. Put your ego aside.
23:45 How has serving in the Young Women's made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ?]]>
LeadingLDS clean 24:59
New to LeadingLDS? Start Here. https://leadinglds.org/new-to-leadinglds-start-here/ Tue, 26 Sep 2017 18:43:09 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=36740 What is LeadingLDS? You can read more about LeadingLDS on our ABOUT PAGE, but in short, LeadingLDS is a non-profit (501c3) organization that is striving to help lay leader enhance their ability and capacity as leaders. Simply put, we help leader say, "I know what to do!" As many of you probably know, when you are called to lay leadership in the LDS Church you are not given any official training as a leader. We hope the resources at LeadingLDS will supplement your leadership development. What Topics Are Discussed on LeadingLDS? You will find a variety of topics discussed through our podcast, online articles, and webinars. The best place to start is to use the website search function or to explore content related the following callings: Bishopric Stake Leadership Relief Society Elders Quorum Primary Youth Leadership Ward Mission Teaching (Includes Teaching Helps) LeadingLDS Podcast We post new podcasts once a week (sometimes more) in which Kurt Francom interviews an author, trainer, lay leader (typically with an LDS background). Our episodes are easy to listen to on the go — about 30-60 minutes — and are available on most major podcast providers: Stitcher, Apple Podcasts (iTunes), or any other player of your choice. Be sure to subscribe through your favorite podcasting app so that you don't miss any future episodes. If you need help with subscribing watch this video. We have over 250 episodes so we recommend starting with the most listened to episodes and go from there. Popular Podcast Series How I Lead These are podcast interviews where we sit down with every-day, prolific, leaders that serve in various lay leadership callings (bishops, EQP, YW President, mission president, etc.). We ask them basic questions about how they approach the challenges in their calling and what you can learn is priceless. WIWIK (What I Wish I Knew) These are compilations of short clips where leaders share a short perspective about what they wish they knew before they were bishop, or Relief Society president, etc. We also answer questions about what they wish they knew before performing a wedding, or organizing a primary program. Leaders Teaching Leaders This is a series of posts that share what leaders of the church have learned from other leaders of the church. This might include stories from general conference, accounts of one leader attending a stake conference with another leader, or simply recollections one leader’s interaction with someone they respected. There are great leadership skills one can learn by pondering these interactions. Webinars Each week LeadingLDS hosts a video webinar where we dig in to a specific training or topic that will further benefit the lay leadership audience. You can register for upcoming webinars on our homepage and they are available to view for free on LeadingLDS.org for 24 hours following the recording. To access the full library of past webinars you can become a Core Leader. See details below. Leadership Summits https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QKJpUAlgEs We are striving to create in depth online summits that focus around specific leadership topics. We already released the Motivating the Minister virtual summit in early 2017 and will soon release the Teaching Saints Virtual Summit (Register Here). Products Visit the LeadingLDS Store to see the awesome products available for purchase. All proceeds go towards the support of LeadingLDS. Never Miss LeadingLDS Content To make sure you never miss the valuable content created on LeadingLDS be sure to do the following: Subscribe to the podcast (see above) Subscribe to the weekly Newsletter Follow us on Social Media Facebook Instagram Twitter Snapchat (@LeadingLDS) Join the LeadingLDS Community Become a Core Leader We want to reward our monthly/yearly donors with additional content because without their contributions we would not be able to continue creating valuable conten... What is LeadingLDS? You can read more about LeadingLDS on our ABOUT PAGE, but in short, LeadingLDS is a non-profit (501c3) organization that is striving to help lay leader enhance their ability and capacity as leaders. Simply put, we help leader say, You can read more about LeadingLDS on our ABOUT PAGE, but in short, LeadingLDS is a non-profit (501c3) organization that is striving to help lay leader enhance their ability and capacity as leaders. Simply put, we help leader say, "I know what to do!" As many of you probably know, when you are called to lay leadership in the LDS Church you are not given any official training as a leader. We hope the resources at LeadingLDS will supplement your leadership development.
What Topics Are Discussed on LeadingLDS?
You will find a variety of topics discussed through our podcast, online articles, and webinars. The best place to start is to use the website search function or to explore content related the following callings:

* Bishopric
* Stake Leadership
* Relief Society
* Elders Quorum
* Primary
* Youth Leadership
* Ward Mission
* Teaching (Includes Teaching Helps)

LeadingLDS Podcast
We post new podcasts once a week (sometimes more) in which Kurt Francom interviews an author, trainer, lay leader (typically with an LDS background). Our episodes are easy to listen to on the go — about 30-60 minutes — and are available on most major podcast providers: Stitcher, Apple Podcasts (iTunes), or any other player of your choice. Be sure to subscribe through your favorite podcasting app so that you don't miss any future episodes. If you need help with subscribing watch this video. We have over 250 episodes so we recommend starting with the most listened to episodes and go from there.
Popular Podcast Series

* How I Lead These are podcast interviews where we sit down with every-day, prolific, leaders that serve in various lay leadership callings (bishops, EQP, YW President, mission president, etc.). We ask them basic questions about how they approach the challenges in their calling and what you can learn is priceless.
* WIWIK (What I Wish I Knew) These are compilations of short clips where leaders share a short perspective about what they wish they knew before they were bishop, or Relief Society president, etc. We also answer questions about what they wish they knew before performing a wedding, or organizing a primary program.
* Leaders Teaching Leaders This is a series of posts that share what leaders of the church have learned from other leaders of the church. This might include stories from general conferenc...]]>
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5 Dale Carnegie Principles for LDS Leaders | An Interview With Clive Winn https://leadinglds.org/5-dale-carnegie-principles-for-lds-leaders-an-interview-with-clive-winn/ Sun, 24 Sep 2017 10:00:08 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=36682 Raised in Bakersfield, California, Clive Winn obtained a B.S. degree in law enforcement and a Master of Public Administration degree from B.Y.U. He was employed for many years as an F.B.I. special agent in various locations. As a church leader, he has served in numerous capacities including elders quorum president, bishop, stake president and mission president (Argentina). More recently he was called as a stake patriarch. During the podcast interview, Brother Winn briefly describes his interviews with a member of the Council of the Twelve and a member of the First Presidency prior to being officially called as a mission president. He further describes his joy in seeing how teachable missionaries typically are in receiving counsel from their mission president. As a patriarch (15:34), he has reaffirmed his conviction of the worth of every individual soul in the eyes of a loving Heavenly Father. He asserts that when you get a glimpse into peoples’ eternal possibilities you view them differently. We should all strive harder to treat each other in a way that recognizes the great potential that God sees in each of us. While employed by the F.B.I. Clive was often called on to train other staff members. He loved seeing the “light come on,” prompting people to change workplace or personal-life behaviors while becoming more enthusiastic and genuinely happy. The late Dale Carnegie authored world-renowned How to Win Friends and Influence People, plus How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, and other books related to interpersonal success skills. Brother Winn has been officially involved with the Dale Carnegie training program for four years. As a church leader, he periodically witnessed members rejecting callings and local church officers falling short of their potential success and responsibilities to serve. He observed ward councils having to repeat the same discussions about member needs without moving the ball forward. He learned that many of the principles he practiced and taught in his professional life and, more recently, in the Dale Carnegie courses can lead to more productive leadership and happier saints. He discussed five of those 30+ principles in a recent interview, summarized as follows: 1. Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain (19:57): If we personally refrain from such tendencies in leading church units, quorums and auxiliaries we’ll treat people with greater dignity and positively affect the overall organizational dynamics. Exhibit confidence and belief in the people you lead so as to help them understand their enormous potential and have greater clarity as to why they should perform at a higher level. The leader must set the tone for a positive culture, recognizing that sometimes other ward leaders under his/her direction are unaware they are expressing negative thoughts. All ward or stake members and leaders will benefit greatly from knowing that their leaders are positive. 2. Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation (20:32): Leaders often do not take time to consistently do this. Praise needs to be authentic and not for purposes of manipulation. Many people are “down” on themselves and a little reassurance goes a long way in rebuilding their faith and self-confidence. Don’t hesitate to send notes of commendation and gratitude. Look for opportunities to express appreciation from the pulpit to individuals, groups or congregations, including the recognition of small acts of service. Ward youth will greatly benefit from appreciation and positive reinforcement of specific things they have done well. 3. Smile (31:16): Some people are smile-challenged, especially when nervous or tense. Smiling helps you feel more comfortable and does the same for those you lead. It eases tension. Young people feel more accepted by a leader who smiles, and are then more likely to consult the leader to discuss serious personal concerns or aspirations. 4. Strive to Learn and Use Each Member's Name (34:35): This is a very powerful tool. Raised in Bakersfield, California, Clive Winn obtained a B.S. degree in law enforcement and a Master of Public Administration degree from B.Y.U. He was employed for many years as an F.B.I. special agent in various locations. As a church leader,

Raised in Bakersfield, California, Clive Winn obtained a B.S. degree in law enforcement and a Master of Public Administration degree from B.Y.U. He was employed for many years as an F.B.I. special agent in various locations. As a church leader, he has served in numerous capacities including elders quorum president, bishop, stake president and mission president (Argentina). More recently he was called as a stake patriarch. During the podcast interview, Brother Winn briefly describes his interviews with a member of the Council of the Twelve and a member of the First Presidency prior to being officially called as a mission president. He further describes his joy in seeing how teachable missionaries typically are in receiving counsel from their mission president. As a patriarch (15:34), he has reaffirmed his conviction of the worth of every individual soul in the eyes of a loving Heavenly Father. He asserts that when you get a glimpse into peoples’ eternal possibilities you view them differently. We should all strive harder to treat each other in a way that recognizes the great potential that God sees in each of us.

While employed by the F.B.I. Clive was often called on to train other staff members. He loved seeing the “light come on,” prompting people to change workplace or personal-life behaviors while becoming more enthusiastic and genuinely happy.

The late Dale Carnegie authored world-renowned How to Win Friends and Influence People, plus How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, and other books related to interpersonal success skills. Brother Winn has been officially involved with the Dale Carnegie training program for four years. As a church leader, he periodically witnessed members rejecting callings and local church officers falling short of their potential success and responsibilities to serve. He observed ward councils having to repeat the same discussions about member needs without moving the ball forward. He learned that many of the principles he practiced and taught in his professional life and, more recently, in the Dale Carnegie courses can lead to more productive leadership and happier saints. He discussed five of those 30+ principles in a recent interview, summarized as follows:
1. Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain
(19:57): If we personally refrain from such tendencies in leading church units, quorums and auxiliaries we’ll treat people with greater dignity and positively affect the overall organizational dynamics. Exhibit confidence and belief in the people you lead so as to help them understand their enormous potential and have greater clarity as to why they should perform at a higher level. The leader must set the tone for a positive culture, recognizing that sometimes other ward leaders under his/her direction are unaware they are expressing negative thoughts. All ward or stake members and leaders will benefit greatly from knowing that their leaders are positive.
2. Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation
(20:32): Leaders often do not take time to consistently do this. Praise needs to be authentic and not for purposes of manipulation. Many people are “down” on themselves and a little reassurance goes a long way in rebuilding their faith and self-confidence. Don’t hesitate to send notes of commendation and gratitude. Look for opportunities to express appreciation from the pulpit to individuals, groups or congregations, including the recognition of small acts of service. Ward youth will greatly benefit from appreciation and positive reinforcement of specific things they have done well.
3. Smile
(31:16): Some people are smile-challenged, especially when nervous or tense.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 48:05
How to Mentor a Newly Called Leader Through Situational Leadership | An Interview With John Hester https://leadinglds.org/how-to-mentor-a-newly-called-leader-through-situational-leadership-an-interview-with-john-hester/ Sun, 17 Sep 2017 10:00:16 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=36401 John Hester is a leadership consultant, trainer, researcher, and writer with The Ken Blanchard Companies. He currently serves on the High Council in his Vancouver, Washington stake and has previously served as an elders quorum president, Young Men president, and early-morning seminary teacher.  Episode Highlights (9:30) Biggest mistakes leaders make someone is called to a new position and feels lost Micromanaging Allowing the individual to go and flounder on their own, occasionally swooping in and then flying away again (seagull management) (10:20) How can this be handled more effectively? How can a leader find balance somewhere between the two big mistakes? Key is to take the time to diagnose recognize the goals and tasks that someone might have in a particular role what is your "development level" in each of these tasks?  Then providing the necessary leadership to help in areas where someone may not be as strong or experienced (11:45) Development Levels example (15:30) Collaboration between the leader and the individual to diagnose development levels Importance of recognizing that development levels are task-based rather than calling or position-based (21:00) Reassessing the diagnosis beyond the initial calling (regular stewardship interviews) (22:15) Characteristics of effective stewardship interviews Consistency Assessing task-based progress (25:15) Matching leadership style to the current development level (29:00) How can leaders make these regular stewardship interviews a priority so that progress can keep happening? Recognize that this is when the personal interaction can happen Making the time for them can free up time down the road (32:00) The importance of leaders always listening Links: The Ken Blanchard Companies John Hester is a leadership consultant, trainer, researcher, and writer with The Ken Blanchard Companies. He currently serves on the High Council in his Vancouver, Washington stake and has previously served as an elders quorum president, Episode Highlights
(9:30) Biggest mistakes leaders make someone is called to a new position and feels lost

Micromanaging
Allowing the individual to go and flounder on their own, occasionally swooping in and then flying away again (seagull management)

(10:20) How can this be handled more effectively? How can a leader find balance somewhere between the two big mistakes?

Key is to take the time to diagnose
recognize the goals and tasks that someone might have in a particular role
what is your "development level" in each of these tasks? 
Then providing the necessary leadership to help in areas where someone may not be as strong or experienced

(11:45) Development Levels example

(15:30) Collaboration between the leader and the individual to diagnose development levels

Importance of recognizing that development levels are task-based rather than calling or position-based

(21:00) Reassessing the diagnosis beyond the initial calling (regular stewardship interviews)

(22:15) Characteristics of effective stewardship interviews

Consistency
Assessing task-based progress

(25:15) Matching leadership style to the current development level

(29:00) How can leaders make these regular stewardship interviews a priority so that progress can keep happening?

Recognize that this is when the personal interaction can happen
Making the time for them can free up time down the road

(32:00) The importance of leaders always listening
Links:
The Ken Blanchard Companies

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 35:27
“The Atonement Works for Me”: One Couple’s Recovery from Sexual Addiction https://leadinglds.org/the-atonement-works-for-me-one-couples-recovery-from-sexual-addiction/ Sun, 10 Sep 2017 10:00:29 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=36313 In this episode we share with you a recorded fireside that was held in Salt Lake City in August of 2017 with a Young Single Adult ward. We interview Steve and Kayla Shields who are dedicated to helping others understand sex/pornography addiction and how they found hope and recovery. Steve runs the website UnashamedUnafraid.com which helps those struggling with sexual addiction find community. Steve and Kayla share their personal story of sexual addiction in hopes of removing the stigma of shame associated with addiction. Episode Highlights 6.20  Steve’s first interaction with pornography was at age 12. 7:14  Steve continued to struggle with pornography though his teen years. 8:28  His addiction was beginning to escalate. He did not feel he could talk to anyone about this. 9:02  Before Steve left for his mission he did go to talk to his Bishop. 10:42 Steve felt that his addiction was manageable during his mission. 11:35 Once Steve returned home from his mission he fell into old behavior and his addiction began to escalate. 13:10  Steve sought help from his Bishop however, the problems continued to escalate. 15:02  Steve and Kayla got married. Steve was an ordinance worker in the Temple and still struggling with his addiction. 15:22 Kayla shares how she asked Steve before they got married if he had ever struggled with a pornography addiction. Kayla did not want to marry anyone with a pornography addiction. 16:55  Steve felt emptiness from his addiction so he worked harder and served more to compensate for that emptiness. 17:43 Steve was currently serving as a counselor in the Bishopric. Kayla went out of town on a trip with their baby. During that time Steve spent that time acting out on his addiction. 19:07 Steve made a choice to get help. The Lord helped him to see his addiction for what it was. 20:19 Steve choose to speak with his Dad first about his addiction, and then he spoke to a therapist. 21:07 Steve also spoke with Kayla’s Dad about his addiction prior to talking to his wife. He wanted Kayla to have support when he shared this with her. 21:37 Steve spoke with his Bishop about his addiction. 22:07 Steve picked his wife up from the airport as she returned home from her trip. He drove her right to the therapist office first instead of going home. He wanted to share his addiction with her at the office. 22:14 She suspected he was going to tell her he struggles with pornography. There were clues while they were dating. 24:25 Steve shares how numb he felt from his addiction. 25:19 Kayla learned about Steve’s addiction and felt shock. She stormed out of the therapist office. She wanted a divorce. 27:50 Kayla prayed and felt comfort to move forward to heal ther marriage. 28:23 The months that followed were rough, especially as they moved into a new ward and questions followed from ward members. 29:50 What Kayla was feeling was betrayal trauma. She had things she had to heal from as well. 32:31  When you are dating ask questions. Invite them to be honest with you. 34:58  Addiction is very shameful. Talk to those you date in a way that doesn’t put their self worth on the line. 37:36  Be sensitive when addressing the topic of sexual addiction. Addiction brings shame. 38:26 Talk about sexual addiction while you are dating. Build a strong level of trust. 40:31 Start discussing your addiction with the safest person to you and work your way out. 41:48 When discussing your addiction you do not have to share everything at the first time you discuss this. Start where you can. 44:22 Steve felt hope as he saw other people overcome their sexual addiction. 47:57 As leaders in the church it can be helpful to attend a 12 step program for the experience. This will allow you to help those you lead who struggling with addictions. 49:37 Steve and Kayla built trust back in their marriage as she watched him stay committed to... In this episode we share with you a recorded fireside that was held in Salt Lake City in August of 2017 with a Young Single Adult ward. We interview Steve and Kayla Shields who are dedicated to helping others understand sex/pornography addiction and ho... UnashamedUnafraid.com which helps those struggling with sexual addiction find community. Steve and Kayla share their personal story of sexual addiction in hopes of removing the stigma of shame associated with addiction.
Episode Highlights

* 6.20  Steve’s first interaction with pornography was at age 12.
* 7:14  Steve continued to struggle with pornography though his teen years.
* 8:28  His addiction was beginning to escalate. He did not feel he could talk to anyone about this.
* 9:02  Before Steve left for his mission he did go to talk to his Bishop.
* 10:42 Steve felt that his addiction was manageable during his mission.
* 11:35 Once Steve returned home from his mission he fell into old behavior and his addiction began to escalate.
* 13:10  Steve sought help from his Bishop however, the problems continued to escalate.
* 15:02  Steve and Kayla got married. Steve was an ordinance worker in the Temple and still struggling with his addiction.
* 15:22 Kayla shares how she asked Steve before they got married if he had ever struggled with a pornography addiction. Kayla did not want to marry anyone with a pornography addiction.
* 16:55  Steve felt emptiness from his addiction so he worked harder and served more to compensate for that emptiness.
* 17:43 Steve was currently serving as a counselor in the Bishopric. Kayla went out of town on a trip with their baby. During that time Steve spent that time acting out on his addiction.
* 19:07 Steve made a choice to get help. The Lord helped him to see his addiction for what it was.
* 20:19 Steve choose to speak with his Dad first about his addiction, and then he spoke to a therapist.
* 21:07 Steve also spoke with Kayla’s Dad about his addiction prior to talking to his wife. He wanted Kayla to have support when he shared this with her.
* 21:37 Steve spoke with his Bishop about his addiction.
* 22:07 Steve picked his wife up from the airport as she returned home from her trip. He drove her right to the therapist office first instead of going home. He wanted to share his addiction with her at the office.
* 22:14 She suspected he was going to tell her he struggles with pornography. There were clues while they were dating.
* 24:25 Steve shares how numb he felt from his addiction.
* 25:19 Kayla learned about Steve’s addiction and felt shock. She stormed out of the therapist office. She wanted a divorce.
* 27:50 Kayla prayed and felt comfort to move forward to heal ther marriage.
* 28:23 The months that followed were rough, especially as they moved into a new ward and questions followed from ward members.
* 29:50 What Kayla was feeling was betrayal trauma. She had things she had to heal from as well.
* 32:31  When you are dating ask questions. Invite them to be honest with you.
* 34:58  Addiction is very shameful. Talk to those you date in a way that doesn’t put their self worth on the line.
* 37:36  Be sensitive when addressing the topic of sexual addiction. Addiction brings shame.
* 38:26 Talk about sexual addiction while you are dating. Build a strong level of trust.
* 40:31 Start discussing your addiction with the safest person to you and work your way out.
* 41:48 When discussing your addiction you do not have to share everything at the first time you discuss this. Start where you can.
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:13:03
When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother’s Perspective https://leadinglds.org/when-a-missionary-returns-home-early-a-mothers-perspective/ Sun, 03 Sep 2017 10:00:10 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=36217 Interview Transcript Available Below To say that Heidi Tucker, found her self in  at a difficult junction in her life, would be an understatment.  She had just turned 50, her 4th child was about to leave home, she was nearing the end to her calling that required her to teach early morning seminary at 4:30 am every morning. She was physically, emotionally and spiritually beat up.  She was on a flight between Phoenix and Salt Lake City, where she had a dream and saw her hands holding her book that she was to write (1:50). Episode Highlights Heidi tells what she had originally thought when she woke up from the dream (2:45) She tells about seeking personal revelation after she had allowed herself to forget about the dream. (3:40) “I showed you that book" There was no getting away from the promptings she received. (4:40) The book includes personal true stories of how Heidi found hope in trials in addition to gospel principles that helped her and her family through the difficult times. (7:31) Improving Scripture Study (8:12) Turning personal prayer into 2 way communication (9:22) Protect yourself from outside influences (11:30) Learning and relating to sacrifices other family members have made (Family History) (8:48) The audience for this book is for anyone, but has gotten a positive response from Relief Society Sisters and other women (12:45) Know that “Everyone is doing their best, at the level that they are at.”  Gaining a testimony is a process, not an event. (14:35) Connecting with others by being real and honest. (16:38) Combining personal experiences combined with gospel principles help make leaders seem real. (17:55) “Struggle is as much a part of the plan as joy." (18:42)  Instead of saying ‘Why me,” say, “What now” Experiences with Missionaries coming home early (20:55) Don’t ask why they returned home. Don’t ask what they are going to be doing or ask if they are going to be going back out. Understand there are a lot of unanswered questions. Understanding as a parent that your child is on their own path to their Heavenly Father (26:00) Love them, support them and quit trying to fix them. (27:27) Keeping RM’s involved (32:54) Be Direct and let people know that you care. (35:36) Links: Finding Hope in the Journey: Recognize His Message Heidi's Blog Interview Transcript Kurt Francom:       03:39           Today we're actually in my childhood home talking with Heidi Tucker.  How are you Heidi? Heidi Tucker:       03:44          Very good to be here. Thank you. Kurt Francom:       03:47          You're from Cave Creek Arizona. Remind me where that is again? Heidi Tucker:       03:52          That is on the north east corner of Phoenix and Scottsdale area. Kurt Francom:       03:55          Nice and you're visiting some grand kids and children here? Heidi Tucker:       04:00          They all went to college in Utah and never came back. Kurt Francom:       04:04          Wow. So you have to come visit? Heidi Tucker:       04:05          I have to be here every opportunity I get.  And so we organized. My parents home was available and here we are in a nice air conditioned home. Are you to record and learn about you so you are the author of "Finding Hope in the Journey." Yes. Now I know from personal experience you don't accidentally write a book. So tell us how did this book come to be. Kurt Francom:       04:24          Well we have to go back a few years. I was actually in a really difficult time. I had just turned 50. My fourth child was ready to leave the nest and I knew from three these three before her right that she's not coming back. So I know I'm going to be an empty nester. I was in my fourth year of teaching .early morning seminary. So four years of getting up at 4:30 every morning to be at the church by 5:30 to teach at 6:00 that had taken its toll. Interview Transcript Available Below - To say that Heidi Tucker, found her self in  at a difficult junction in her life, would be an understatment.  She had just turned 50, her 4th child was about to leave home,
To say that Heidi Tucker, found her self in  at a difficult junction in her life, would be an understatment.  She had just turned 50, her 4th child was about to leave home, she was nearing the end to her calling that required her to teach early morning seminary at 4:30 am every morning. She was physically, emotionally and spiritually beat up.  She was on a flight between Phoenix and Salt Lake City, where she had a dream and saw her hands holding her book that she was to write (1:50).
Episode Highlights


* Heidi tells what she had originally thought when she woke up from the dream (2:45)
* She tells about seeking personal revelation after she had allowed herself to forget about the dream. (3:40)
* “I showed you that book" There was no getting away from the promptings she received. (4:40)
* The book includes personal true stories of how Heidi found hope in trials in addition to gospel principles that helped her and her family through the difficult times. (7:31)

* Improving Scripture Study (8:12)
* Turning personal prayer into 2 way communication (9:22)

* Protect yourself from outside influences (11:30)


* Learning and relating to sacrifices other family members have made (Family History) (8:48)


* The audience for this book is for anyone, but has gotten a positive response from Relief Society Sisters and other women (12:45)
* Know that “Everyone is doing their best, at the level that they are at.”  Gaining a testimony is a process, not an event. (14:35)
* Connecting with others by being real and honest. (16:38)

* Combining personal experiences combined with gospel principles help make leaders seem real. (17:55)


* “Struggle is as much a part of the plan as joy." (18:42)  Instead of saying ‘Why me,” say, “What now”
* Experiences with Missionaries coming home early (20:55)

* Don’t ask why they returned home.
* Don’t ask what they are going to be doing or ask if they are going to be going back out.
* Understand there are a lot of unanswered questions.
* Understanding as a parent that your child is on their own path to their Heavenly Father (26:00)
* Love them, support them and quit trying to fix them. (27:27)
* Keeping RM’s involved (32:54)


* Be Direct and let people know that you care. (35:36)

Links:
Finding Hope in the Journey: Recognize His Message
Heidi's Blog




Interview Transcript
Kurt Francom:       03:39           Today we're actually in my childhood home talking with Heidi Tucker.  How are you Heidi?

Heidi Tucker:       03:44          Very good to be here. Thank you.

Kurt Francom:       03:47          You're from Cave Creek Arizona. Remind me where that is again?

Heidi Tucker:       03:52          That is on the north east corner of Phoenix and Scottsdale area.

Kurt Francom:       03:55          Nice and you're visiting some grand kids and children here?

Heidi Tucker:       04:00          They all went to college in Utah and never came back.

Kurt Francom:       04:04          Wow. So you have to come visit?

Heidi Tucker:       04:05          I have to be here every opportunity I get.  And so we organized. My parents home was available and here we are in a nice air conditioned home. Are you to record and learn about you so you are the author of "Finding Hope in th...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 45:02
Being an LDS Leader Comfortable With Doubt: 8 Tips to Help Those You Lead Who Doubt https://leadinglds.org/being-an-lds-leader-comfortable-with-doubt-8-tips-to-help-those-you-lead-who-doubt/ Wed, 30 Aug 2017 10:00:05 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35385 People in your ward doubt the validity of gospel and you don't know it. You don't know it because they are afraid to tell you, their leader, that they doubt. They are afraid how you will respond, what you will say, and what you will do. Some are even afraid their newfound doubts will cause you to begin to doubt because they were once fully convinced of the gospel's validity too. No, they haven't sinned or need an excuse to sin—they just doubt. If the bishop, or any other leader, is lucky enough, members with deep questions about the restored gospel will actually set an appointment to meet with you before they fade away into inactivity, or worse. This type of appointment is one of your greatest leadership tests. A moment when you will feel like you need to say the right thing or you might unintentionally push them away. To help leaders prepare now rather than in the 15 seconds you will have when they say, "I'm not sure I believe anymore" here are seven things leaders can consider to help those in your ward who doubt. Validate, Validate, VALIDATE Most people who have developed doubt in the claims of the LDS Church feel like they have gone crazy. They live in a church culture where they see people every month stand and deliver a testimony with "every fiber of their being." These strong testimonies can be inspiring for many, but for those suddenly doubting, they feel like an outlier for even having thoughts of doubt. Validation is the first step to a productive conversation. No matter how radical or outlandish the leader perceives the member's new perspective, it is critical to validate the fact that any normal, believing church member could develop such questions. Validating their doubts, concerns, or different beliefs doesn't mean you agree with them or that you should give them the impression you agree with them. Validation is simply recognizing the feelings a member might feel as he or she wrestles with a newfound perspective. For example, if an individual shares with a leader that she has read new information that causes her to question Joseph Smith's validity as a prophet of God, the leader could say, "I can imagine you have been feeling confused, unsure, and possibly even betrayed by this new information. It is important to realize that questions and doubts are part of a normal process we all go through as we strive to discover a deeper faith, even when we thought we had a stable testimony of these principles." When a doubter hears validation, she suddenly realizes she isn’t going crazy. If she feels like her perspective is scoffed at or dismissed, she will realize the mistake she made by trying to communicate her concerns with her church leader. Remember, she won't feel loved if she feels like you are trying to win a disagreement or straighten out her beliefs. Offer a New Framework When an individual experiences a faith crisis he feels he is in a spiritual free fall. He begins to question concepts in life he had never questioned before—especially those concepts based on faith. He moves from a life of certainty to a life of questions. This destroys hope and stimulates anxiety. One of the best ways a leader can help others to establish a foundation of hope is to give the individual a new framework in which to start reconstructing his faith. Up until now, most with an LDS background have had a black-and-white framework to define their faith. They thought they had most of the answers that helped them understand the world and the eternities. It's not so much that the doubter’s faith has been damaged; it's their framework of defining faith that is needing repair. In my experience, James Fowler's Stages of Faith is effective when needing a dynamic framework for understanding the human experience related to faith. We hope to produce more resources on LeadingLDS that better explain this model, but for now, I encourage you to review it online. It is relieving for both the leader and the member when the member u... People in your ward doubt the validity of gospel and you don't know it. You don't know it because they are afraid to tell you, their leader, that they doubt. They are afraid how you will respond, what you will say, and what you will do.
If the bishop, or any other leader, is lucky enough, members with deep questions about the restored gospel will actually set an appointment to meet with you before they fade away into inactivity, or worse. This type of appointment is one of your greatest leadership tests. A moment when you will feel like you need to say the right thing or you might unintentionally push them away.

To help leaders prepare now rather than in the 15 seconds you will have when they say, "I'm not sure I believe anymore" here are seven things leaders can consider to help those in your ward who doubt.
Validate, Validate, VALIDATE
Most people who have developed doubt in the claims of the LDS Church feel like they have gone crazy. They live in a church culture where they see people every month stand and deliver a testimony with "every fiber of their being." These strong testimonies can be inspiring for many, but for those suddenly doubting, they feel like an outlier for even having thoughts of doubt.

Validation is the first step to a productive conversation. No matter how radical or outlandish the leader perceives the member's new perspective, it is critical to validate the fact that any normal, believing church member could develop such questions. Validating their doubts, concerns, or different beliefs doesn't mean you agree with them or that you should give them the impression you agree with them. Validation is simply recognizing the feelings a member might feel as he or she wrestles with a newfound perspective. For example, if an individual shares with a leader that she has read new information that causes her to question Joseph Smith's validity as a prophet of God, the leader could say, "I can imagine you have been feeling confused, unsure, and possibly even betrayed by this new information. It is important to realize that questions and doubts are part of a normal process we all go through as we strive to discover a deeper faith, even when we thought we had a stable testimony of these principles." When a doubter hears validation, she suddenly realizes she isn’t going crazy. If she feels like her perspective is scoffed at or dismissed, she will realize the mistake she made by trying to communicate her concerns with her church leader. Remember, she won't feel loved if she feels like you are trying to win a disagreement or straighten out her beliefs.
Offer a New Framework
When an individual experiences a faith crisis he feels he is in a spiritual free fall. He begins to question concepts in life he had never questioned before—especially those concepts based on faith. He moves from a life of certainty to a life of questions. This destroys hope and stimulates anxiety.

One of the best ways a leader can help others to establish a foundation of hope is to give the individual a new framework in which to start reconstructing his faith. Up until now, most with an LDS background have had a black-and-white framework to define their faith. They thought they had most of the answers that helped them understand the world and the eternities. It's not so much that the doubter’s faith has been damaged; it's their framework of defining faith that is needing repair.

In my experience, James Fowler's Stages of Faith is effective when needing a dynamic framework for understanding the human experience related to faith. We hope to produce more resources on LeadingLDS that b...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 39:40
Be Pleasantly Persistent | How I Lead as Ward Mission Leader https://leadinglds.org/be-pleasantly-persistent-how-i-lead-as-ward-mission-leader/ Sun, 27 Aug 2017 10:24:57 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35868 Bryan Hughes currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader in his Topeka, KS ward. Raised in the Seattle, WA area and baptized shortly before his 18th birthday, he shares of his conversion experience after becoming inactive shortly after his baptism. These experiences have helped shape his approach to missionary work and serving in his current calling. Bryan's approach to serving in the ward mission is guided by President's Hinckley's counsel that every new convert needs a friend, a responsibility, and to be nourished by the good word of God. He applies these teachings by regularly using the new member list in ward council to identify if these three things are happening for newly baptized members. Five Leadership Principles Principle #1 Recognize that you lead through influence (13:25) D&C 121:41-44 Principles that help us lead and influence others righteously. To pull someone rather than push them you need to earn that right. This can be done by making and keeping commitments yourself - effective communication with those whom we serve. Principle #2 Don't assume that everyone knows how to be effective in every calling (16:00) We need to have grace for individuals and be willing to serve (and serve with) those who are learning in their callings. Seeking first to understand and then to be understood. Revelation comes to all of the parties associated in the work as we counsel together. Principle #3 Recognize that this is the Lord's work (25:20) If not aware, we can unintentionally close ourselves to revelation or get stuck in routines and become unable to adjust or change as needed. Principle #4 Be pleasantly persistent (28:35) Avoiding making things a fire when it doesn't need to be a fire. Be pleasantly (and proactively) persistent. Everybody can find their own way to be pleasantly persistent. Remember that we work with volunteers (as we are ourselves). Being more persistent in accountability, getting face time, getting the message of our auxiliary across, but doing so in an effective (pleasant) way. Principle #5 Make sure you have a strong team (35:30) First and foremost we must defer to the Lord - we must not bypass the process of revelation. Should not hesitate to recommend individuals to serve in our auxiliaries if prompted to make those recommendations. Be willing to work with anyone the Lord sees fit to call to our team. Our responsibility as a leader is to make sure our team is strong, whomever has been called to be on that team Bryan Hughes currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader in his Topeka, KS ward. Raised in the Seattle, WA area and baptized shortly before his 18th birthday, he shares of his conversion experience after becoming inactive shortly after his baptism.
Bryan's approach to serving in the ward mission is guided by President's Hinckley's counsel that every new convert needs a friend, a responsibility, and to be nourished by the good word of God. He applies these teachings by regularly using the new member list in ward council to identify if these three things are happening for newly baptized members.
Five Leadership Principles
Principle #1 Recognize that you lead through influence (13:25)

* D&C 121:41-44 Principles that help us lead and influence others righteously.
* To pull someone rather than push them you need to earn that right.

* This can be done by making and keeping commitments yourself - effective communication with those whom we serve.



Principle #2 Don't assume that everyone knows how to be effective in every calling (16:00)

* We need to have grace for individuals and be willing to serve (and serve with) those who are learning in their callings.
* Seeking first to understand and then to be understood.
* Revelation comes to all of the parties associated in the work as we counsel together.

Principle #3 Recognize that this is the Lord's work (25:20)

* If not aware, we can unintentionally close ourselves to revelation or get stuck in routines and become unable to adjust or change as needed.

Principle #4 Be pleasantly persistent (28:35)

* Avoiding making things a fire when it doesn't need to be a fire.
* Be pleasantly (and proactively) persistent.
* Everybody can find their own way to be pleasantly persistent.
* Remember that we work with volunteers (as we are ourselves).
* Being more persistent in accountability, getting face time, getting the message of our auxiliary across, but doing so in an effective (pleasant) way.

Principle #5 Make sure you have a strong team (35:30)

* First and foremost we must defer to the Lord - we must not bypass the process of revelation.
* Should not hesitate to recommend individuals to serve in our auxiliaries if prompted to make those recommendations.
* Be willing to work with anyone the Lord sees fit to call to our team.
* Our responsibility as a leader is to make sure our team is strong, whomever has been called to be on that team
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 49:43
An App for When You Are the Closing Speaker in Sacrament Meeting https://leadinglds.org/an-app-for-when-you-are-the-closing-speaker-in-sacrament-meeting/ Thu, 24 Aug 2017 10:00:36 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35675 Jacob Barlow is a Southern California native, and former Utah resident, who now resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. A BYU-Idaho graduate, Jacob is married and was previously employed at Google as a member of the company’s former Google Glass team. Inspired by his church-leader father’s assembled database of pearls of wisdom, Jacob has developed a free app of quotable quotes. It is called The Closing Speaker and is useful for people serving in the Church and home as leaders, speakers, teachers and parents, as well as those responsible for inserting a meaningful quote on the front page of a Sunday ward bulletin. It has a practical application for both youth and adults. For example, Church youth may find the app very valuable in talk preparation, including last-minute assignments they may be called upon to fulfill in a quorum or classroom setting. The app is evolutionary and currently contains 3088 quotes from 241 authors on 287 separate topics (1). At present, it is only available for Android devices and may be available for IOS users in the future, the advantage to Android being its more global reach. The app’s name (The Closing Speaker) borrows from the concept of a leader who finds himself or herself occupying valuable time at the pulpit at the end of a church service, and doing so in a way that helps ensure a successful meeting outcome. Users of the app may quickly search the database by topic or by author. The Closing Speaker functions somewhat as a topical guide; however, there is an important difference that many users will prefer over a topical guide or the use of a search bar on lds.org. The Closing Speaker provides actual quotes that are highly relevant, rather than overburdening users with a long list of citations that may have a one-word connection but offer limited value in the required context. While some of the quotes are lengthy and others are pithy, all are selected on the basis of bringing added value and understanding to a given topic. The Closing Speaker allows users to “favor” certain quotes for future reference and to also see what other users have highly favored. Jacob’s plans for The Closing Speaker’s future include the possibility of user-input, and doing so in a way that continues to safeguard the app’s integrity as to verifiable, published quotes from trustworthy sources. The app’s current user rating is 4.8 on a five-point scale. Brother Barlow reported that the process of app development, and the necessity of reading every single quotation used, has been both inspiring and educational. DOWNLOAD THE CLOSING SPEAKER (Not Yet Available for iOS) Jacob Barlow is a Southern California native, and former Utah resident, who now resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. A BYU-Idaho graduate, Jacob is married and was previously employed at Google as a member of the company’s former Google Glass team.
Inspired by his church-leader father’s assembled database of pearls of wisdom, Jacob has developed a free app of quotable quotes. It is called The Closing Speaker and is useful for people serving in the Church and home as leaders, speakers, teachers and parents, as well as those responsible for inserting a meaningful quote on the front page of a Sunday ward bulletin. It has a practical application for both youth and adults. For example, Church youth may find the app very valuable in talk preparation, including last-minute assignments they may be called upon to fulfill in a quorum or classroom setting. The app is evolutionary and currently contains 3088 quotes from 241 authors on 287 separate topics (1). At present, it is only available for Android devices and may be available for IOS users in the future, the advantage to Android being its more global reach.

The app’s name (The Closing Speaker) borrows from the concept of a leader who finds himself or herself occupying valuable time at the pulpit at the end of a church service, and doing so in a way that helps ensure a successful meeting outcome. Users of the app may quickly search the database by topic or by author. The Closing Speaker functions somewhat as a topical guide; however, there is an important difference that many users will prefer over a topical guide or the use of a search bar on lds.org. The Closing Speaker provides actual quotes that are highly relevant, rather than overburdening users with a long list of citations that may have a one-word connection but offer limited value in the required context. While some of the quotes are lengthy and others are pithy, all are selected on the basis of bringing added value and understanding to a given topic. The Closing Speaker allows users to “favor” certain quotes for future reference and to also see what other users have highly favored.

Jacob’s plans for The Closing Speaker’s future include the possibility of user-input, and doing so in a way that continues to safeguard the app’s integrity as to verifiable, published quotes from trustworthy sources. The app’s current user rating is 4.8 on a five-point scale. Brother Barlow reported that the process of app development, and the necessity of reading every single quotation used, has been both inspiring and educational.

DOWNLOAD THE CLOSING SPEAKER (Not Yet Available for iOS)]]>
LeadingLDS clean 24:12
Why We Married in the Temple After 20 Years in Same-Sex Relationships | An Interview With Bennett & Becky Borden https://leadinglds.org/why-we-married-in-the-temple-after-20-years-in-same-sex-relationships-an-interview-with-bennett-becky-borden/ Sun, 20 Aug 2017 09:54:17 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35844 Transcript of Full Interview Available Below Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same sex attraction and who were both in same sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the LDS Church and prior to their marriage to each other. Bennett and Becky both grew up in the South in active LDS families. They met about 28 years ago when Bennett was a young man and served his mission in Becky's ward. Bennett became close with Becky's family and over they years they have remained friends. In their early 20s, both Bennett and Becky came out as gay, left the Church and went on to live a gay lifestyle for many years. After many years away they both decided separately they wanted to come back to the church. They met up at Becky's family reunion and knew they should get married. They returned to church attendance, were married and after time had their blessings restored and were sealed in the temple. A lot can be learned and gained from their amazing story, their relationships, their faith transition, their interactions with family and church leaders, and their spiritual experiences. 3:15 Bennett's upbringing 5:00 Becky's upbringing 7:30 Bennett's close relationship with Becky's family 8:00 After his mission, Bennett's first marriage to a woman 9:30 Bennett lives a gay lifestyle and stops going to church 10:30 Becky's journey coming out as gay 13:30 Their relationships with God as they left the church and lived the gay lifestyle 14:30 Bennett's experience studying other religions 16:00 Becky's experience joining several other churches 18:00 What can we learn from our crises of faith? 19:00 Every relationship has goodness to them 20:30 "The light and love of God shines everywhere"/Growth can happen even as we are lost 22:00 Becky's excommunication and the blessing of it 24:30 The thing that brought them back to the gospel 26:00 Bennett's same sex relationship and what brought him back 28:20 Becky and where she was as Bennett's relationship ended 31:00 Leaders and family members and how they reached out to Bennett and Becky while they were living a gay lifestyle 34:00 Love within church disciplinary councils 35:30 Bennett and Becky's friendship as they came back to the church 44:00 How to reconcile thoughts of going back to the church with being gay 45:00 Reading the scriptures assuming it's all true 48:00 Bennett and Becky decision to get married 50:00 Becky's experience meeting with her bishop to discuss coming back to church 53:20 Bennett's experience meeting with his bishop to discuss coming back to church 56:15 How Satan worked to keep them from coming back 57:00 Their marriage by a bishop in Washington D.C. 58:45 Bennett's ex-husband Richard joined the church 1:02:30 How to pray for a child with same sex attraction 1:08:00 How can leaders use Northstar to help them 1:09:00 Message to individuals wanting to come back to the church Links: North Star Bennett & Becky's North Star Conference Keynote Bennett & Becky would love to connect with anyone who has questions or needs further support. You can reach them at their joint email: Bennettandbecky@gmail.com Interview Transcript Kurt Francom: [00:03:00] Today I’m in a beautiful Immigration Canyon with my good friends Bennett and Becky Borden. How are you two? Becky Borden: Doing great, thanks. Bennett Borden: Very well. Kurt Francom: I first met you two at the North Star Conference back in, what was that? March? Becky Borden: March. Kurt Francom: March of 2017. You were there. You were one of the keynotes, talking about your experience. Now, let’s just get you two in context. Bennett, we’ll start with you. How would you describe your upbringing, where you’re from and maybe what landed you on a mission? [00:03:30] Bennett Borden: Sure, thanks, Kurt. So I’m from a small town in Tennessee, outside of Knoxville, Transcript of Full Interview Available Below - Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same sex attraction and who were both in same sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the LDS Church and prio...
Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same sex attraction and who were both in same sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the LDS Church and prior to their marriage to each other. Bennett and Becky both grew up in the South in active LDS families. They met about 28 years ago when Bennett was a young man and served his mission in Becky's ward. Bennett became close with Becky's family and over they years they have remained friends. In their early 20s, both Bennett and Becky came out as gay, left the Church and went on to live a gay lifestyle for many years. After many years away they both decided separately they wanted to come back to the church. They met up at Becky's family reunion and knew they should get married. They returned to church attendance, were married and after time had their blessings restored and were sealed in the temple. A lot can be learned and gained from their amazing story, their relationships, their faith transition, their interactions with family and church leaders, and their spiritual experiences.

3:15 Bennett's upbringing
5:00 Becky's upbringing
7:30 Bennett's close relationship with Becky's family
8:00 After his mission, Bennett's first marriage to a woman
9:30 Bennett lives a gay lifestyle and stops going to church
10:30 Becky's journey coming out as gay
13:30 Their relationships with God as they left the church and lived the gay lifestyle
14:30 Bennett's experience studying other religions
16:00 Becky's experience joining several other churches
18:00 What can we learn from our crises of faith?
19:00 Every relationship has goodness to them
20:30 "The light and love of God shines everywhere"/Growth can happen even as we are lost
22:00 Becky's excommunication and the blessing of it
24:30 The thing that brought them back to the gospel
26:00 Bennett's same sex relationship and what brought him back
28:20 Becky and where she was as Bennett's relationship ended
31:00 Leaders and family members and how they reached out to Bennett and Becky while they were living a gay lifestyle
34:00 Love within church disciplinary councils
35:30 Bennett and Becky's friendship as they came back to the church
44:00 How to reconcile thoughts of going back to the church with being gay
45:00 Reading the scriptures assuming it's all true
48:00 Bennett and Becky decision to get married
50:00 Becky's experience meeting with her bishop to discuss coming back to church
53:20 Bennett's experience meeting with his bishop to discuss coming back to church
56:15 How Satan worked to keep them from coming back
57:00 Their marriage by a bishop in Washington D.C.
58:45 Bennett's ex-husband Richard joined the church
1:02:30 How to pray for a child with same sex attraction
1:08:00 How can leaders use Northstar to help them
1:09:00 Message to individuals wanting to come back to the church

Links:
North Star

Bennett & Becky's North Star Conference Keynote

Bennett & Becky would love to connect with anyone who has questions or needs further support. You can reach them at their joint email: Bennettandbecky@gmail.com
Interview Transcript
Kurt Francom: [00:03:00] Today I’m in a beautiful Immigration Canyon with my good friends Bennett and Becky Borden. How are you two?

Becky Borden: Doing great, thanks.

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LeadingLDS clean 1:14:05
Why Many Young Single Adults Are Delaying Marriage and It’s Probably Not What You Think https://leadinglds.org/the-reason-many-young-single-adults-are-delaying-marriage-and-its-probably-not-what-you-think/ Mon, 14 Aug 2017 10:00:10 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35728 Interview Transcript Available Below Jon Birger is a magazine writer and contributor to Fortune Magazine. Jon is also the author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. In this book he explains the reason behind the lop-sided dating demographics and the decline in marriage rates with a focus in one chapter on the Jewish and Mormon religions. A big shout out to Geoff Openshaw from This Week in Mormons that helped conduct the interview. Go listen and subscribe to his podcast! Episode Summary: 5:56 Date-onomics looks at the demographics of why dating may be more challenging for women vs. men. 7:12 For the last fifteen years there have been four women graduating college for every three men. 7:48 There is a college gender gap that is responsible for the decline in marriages for educated women. 8:22 What is the scarcity rule and how is that effecting dating influences? 9:32 In Date-onomics Jon studied the secular world and how they can be less susceptible to outside cultural influences. 12:55 The gender ratio in the Mormon faith. 14:00 Is there a marriage crisis within the Mormon and Orthodox Jewish faith? 15:36 For the Mormons living in Utah, there is a gender gap. There is a 60/40 ratio women to men. 16:00 The gender ratio affects our behavior. 18:04 The ratio can cultivate very picky men. 19:49 Data suggest that in all religions women tend to be more devout then men. 20:31 Approximately 30 to 40 percent of LDS young men go on missions. 21:50 Most men who fall away from organized religion are between their late teen years to their twenties. 23:03 The age change for LDS missions reflected a surge of those choosing to go. 25:00 Why Millennials don’t date? 26:01 Millennial men are not happy couch potatoes. Case in point is Silicon Valley. 27:07 The Bay area in California has more men graduating from college than women. The marriage rates are much higher and divorce rates are very low. 28:52 Millennials are marrying late because of a faith crisis, not a dating crisis. This has become a demographics issue. 30:05 The science in Date-onomics shows how some of these patterns are hard wired within us. This is based on the demographics problem. 31:02 To shift the demographics slant, help encourage young men to stay active in the church. 33:11 The gender gap is not as great outside of Utah. Young men who do not serve missions may feel less ostracized outside Utah. 36:09 Elder Scott, “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life." 38:21 Freshman classes at BYU are 60/40 women to men due to LDS missions. 39:25 If college graduates were willing to date non-college graduates, the gender ratio may not be as bad. 41:46 As men age, they become locked into their ways and more rigid. 42:36 The plastic surgery surge in Utah can be contributed to the lop-sided demographics. Suggested Solutions: 45:47 Do not assume millennials are not marrying because of laziness. 46:45 Make gender ratios a consideration when choosing a college. 49:16 College educated women can expand their dating pool to include non-college educated men. 50:26 Avoid the musical chairs syndrome. Links: Date-onomics Book Jon Birger Website The End of Men: And the Rise of Women, by Hannah Rosin Interview Transcript Kurt Francom: This is a simulcast along with my friend Geoff from the podcast This Week in Mormons. How are you, Geoff? Geoff Openshaw: Hey, what’s up, Kurt? Good to see you, buddy. Kurt Francom: Nice. We decide to tag team this episode because it’s such a fascinating topic and that we’re both going to be interviewing and having a discussion with Jon Birger, who is the author of Date-onomics - How dating became a lopsided numbers game. How are you Jon? Jon Birger: Hey, I’m good. Interview Transcript Available Below - Jon Birger is a magazine writer and contributor to Fortune Magazine. Jon is also the author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. In this book he explains the reason behind the lop-sided dat...
Jon Birger is a magazine writer and contributor to Fortune Magazine. Jon is also the author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. In this book he explains the reason behind the lop-sided dating demographics and the decline in marriage rates with a focus in one chapter on the Jewish and Mormon religions. A big shout out to Geoff Openshaw from This Week in Mormons that helped conduct the interview. Go listen and subscribe to his podcast!
Episode Summary:

* 5:56 Date-onomics looks at the demographics of why dating may be more challenging for women vs. men.
* 7:12 For the last fifteen years there have been four women graduating college for every three men.
* 7:48 There is a college gender gap that is responsible for the decline in marriages for educated women.
* 8:22 What is the scarcity rule and how is that effecting dating influences?
* 9:32 In Date-onomics Jon studied the secular world and how they can be less susceptible to outside cultural influences.
* 12:55 The gender ratio in the Mormon faith.
* 14:00 Is there a marriage crisis within the Mormon and Orthodox Jewish faith?
* 15:36 For the Mormons living in Utah, there is a gender gap. There is a 60/40 ratio women to men.
* 16:00 The gender ratio affects our behavior.
* 18:04 The ratio can cultivate very picky men.
* 19:49 Data suggest that in all religions women tend to be more devout then men.
* 20:31 Approximately 30 to 40 percent of LDS young men go on missions.
* 21:50 Most men who fall away from organized religion are between their late teen years to their twenties.
* 23:03 The age change for LDS missions reflected a surge of those choosing to go.
* 25:00 Why Millennials don’t date?
* 26:01 Millennial men are not happy couch potatoes. Case in point is Silicon Valley.
* 27:07 The Bay area in California has more men graduating from college than women. The marriage rates are much higher and divorce rates are very low.
* 28:52 Millennials are marrying late because of a faith crisis, not a dating crisis. This has become a demographics issue.
* 30:05 The science in Date-onomics shows how some of these patterns are hard wired within us. This is based on the demographics problem.
* 31:02 To shift the demographics slant, help encourage young men to stay active in the church.
* 33:11 The gender gap is not as great outside of Utah. Young men who do not serve missions may feel less ostracized outside Utah.
* 36:09 Elder Scott, “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life."
* 38:21 Freshman classes at BYU are 60/40 women to men due to LDS missions.
* 39:25 If college graduates were willing to date non-college graduates, the gender ratio may not be as bad.
* 41:46 As men age, they become locked into their ways and more rigid.
* 42:36 The plastic surgery surge in Utah can be contributed to the lop-sided demographics.
* Suggested Solutions:
* 45:47 Do not assume millennials are not marrying because of laziness.
* 46:45 Make gender ratios a consideration when choosing a college.
* 49:16 College educated women can expand their dating pool to include non-college educated men.
* 50:26 Avoid the musical chairs syndrome.

Links:

* Date-onomics Book
* Jon Birger https://leadinglds.org/?p=35624 Interview transcript available below In this episode, we welcome back Jerry Smith who has been on the LeadingLDS podcast before. I will remember, yeah, he is the author of Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration. Jerry is originally from Salt Lake City and served his mission in Boston, Massachusetts area and later returned there to continue his college education. He now teaches in the School of Business at Boston College and also teaches institute classes at the Boston LDS Institute. He has served as bishop three times and in a stake presidency and in many other church callings.  Specifically in this episode we talk about a very interesting subject regarding the changes or corrections ancient prophets made in the Book of Mormon text— not grammatical changes that Joseph Smith made or others in the translation of the Book of Mormon, but changes ancient prophets themselves made, anciently as they were actually writing this and why they made it. Through this discussion we discuss the concept of every leader being human and making errors from time to time as they are given a daunting task of leading. We sometimes hold up these Book of Mormon prophets as impeccable leaders. In reality, they were human and we can see a lot of their mortality through their writings in the Book of Mormon but that makes it very rich. It makes it real and we can learn more about the Book of Mormon, about these prophets, about the personalities and so I think you will enjoy this conversation as I geek out with Jerry about the extemporaneous changes that we see in the Book of Mormon.  Links: Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 1: Evidence of an Imperfect, Authentic, Ancient Work of Scripture) Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 2: Structural Evidences of Earlier Ancient versus Later Modern Constructions) Jerry Smith's first interview on the LeadingLDS podcast Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration Understanding the Book of Mormon: A Reader's Guide, by Grant Hardy Interview Transcript Jerry Smith: Well, Kurt, nice to just talk to you again. Kurt Francom: Now you are originally from Boston and you just happened to be in Salt Lake so we thought let's get together and talk about something. Jerry Smith: I'm actually originally from Salt Lake City. Kurt Francom: [00:03:30] Oh right, yes, but you've lived there. Jerry Smith: I've lived in Boston for 40 years, so does that count as a Bostonian? Kurt Francom: Well, you're the better judge of that than I am. We talked prior in a previous interview, which I encourage all to check out about your book called Schooling the Prophet: How the Book of Mormon Influenced the Early Restoration. Did I get that subtitle right? Jerry Smith: Almost, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith's Restoration. Kurt Francom: Oh yes, of course. That was a fascinating interview and also, I read the book and I encourage people to check that out and learn more about [00:04:00] that, but now, we wanted to connect and talk about some articles that you've been researching and putting together about, I don't know how you would frame it exactly but some of the adjustments that are found in the Book of Mormon, in that scripture and the way they are manifested, right? Jerry Smith: Yes. This is a discovery. These are discoveries I guess that I came across as I was researching the book Schooling the Prophet, and I was especially interested in Joseph Smith's interaction with the Book of Mormon and therefore, [00:04:30] what did he read, what did he see, what did he assimilate into his thinking, how did it influence his revelations, and in the process of that, I discovered these absolutely fascinating spontaneous changes and I'll describe those as we go along, but yes, so that's exactly it. Interview transcript available below - In this episode, we welcome back Jerry Smith who has been on the LeadingLDS podcast before. I will remember, yeah, he is the author of Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the...
In this episode, we welcome back Jerry Smith who has been on the LeadingLDS podcast before. I will remember, yeah, he is the author of
Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration. Jerry is originally from Salt Lake City and served his mission in Boston, Massachusetts area and later returned there to continue his college education. He now teaches in the School of Business at Boston College and also teaches institute classes at the Boston LDS Institute. He has served as bishop three times and in a stake presidency and in many other church callings. 

Specifically in this episode we talk about a very interesting subject regarding the changes or corrections ancient prophets made in the Book of Mormon text— not grammatical changes that Joseph Smith made or others in the translation of the Book of Mormon, but changes ancient prophets themselves made, anciently as they were actually writing this and why they made it.

Through this discussion we discuss the concept of every leader being human and making errors from time to time as they are given a daunting task of leading. We sometimes hold up these Book of Mormon prophets as impeccable leaders. In reality, they were human and we can see a lot of their mortality through their writings in the Book of Mormon but that makes it very rich. It makes it real and we can learn more about the Book of Mormon, about these prophets, about the personalities and so I think you will enjoy this conversation as I geek out with Jerry about the extemporaneous changes that we see in the Book of Mormon. 
Links:

*
Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 1: Evidence of an Imperfect, Authentic, Ancient Work of Scripture)

*
Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 2: Structural Evidences of Earlier Ancient versus Later Modern Constructions)

* Jerry Smith's first interview on the LeadingLDS podcast
* Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration
*
Understanding the Book of Mormon: A Reader's Guide, by Grant Hardy


Interview Transcript
Jerry Smith: Well, Kurt, nice to just talk to you again.

Kurt Francom: Now you are originally from Boston and you just happened to be in Salt Lake so we thought let's get together and talk about something.

Jerry Smith: I'm actually originally from Salt Lake City.

Kurt Francom: [00:03:30] Oh right, yes, but you've lived there.

Jerry Smith: I've lived in Boston for 40 years, so does that count as a Bostonian?

Kurt Francom: Well, you're the better judge of that than I am. We talked prior in a previous interview, which I encourage all to check out about your book called Schooling the Prophet: How the Book of Mormon...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 45:55
An LDS Leader’s Guide to Millennial Mormons https://leadinglds.org/an-lds-leaders-guide-to-millennial-mormons/ Mon, 31 Jul 2017 18:31:28 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35610 Author's Edit 8/18: The purpose of this article is to help LDS leaders and members understand why a large number of Millennial members are leaving the church (I personally see Millennials leaving the church as a negative thing, and something I would like to prevent). This article does not suggest that the LDS church should change its doctrines or lower its standards to cater to Millennials. But, I do suggest that the church can change some practices (not doctrines and/or standards) to better engage Millennials and improve the retention of Millennials. An example of how the church recently changed a practice to cater to and improve the engagement of a certain demographic group is they began allowing women to say prayers in General Conference. This was a change in practice and not a change in doctrine or standards. The suggestions in this article are similar in nature. My hope is that all members of the church will work together to help all who need the atonement of Christ to feel comfortable coming unto Christ by worshiping him within the walls of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. About six months ago, as part of ward conference, my ward held a special ward council, with stake leaders also participating. The primary topic we discussed was what the ward could do to better support young adults and youth. As the discussion progressed, I made two observations. First, I observed a large age gap between those in the meeting and the demographic group being discussed. Most of the individuals in the meeting were from the Baby Boomer generation (born between 1946 and 1964), a few were from the Generation X generation (born between 1965 and 1979), and I was the only individual that was from the Millennial generation (born between 1980 and 1996). Second, it became clear that most in the meeting did not understand the needs and perspectives of young adults and youth, and were thus not in a great position to support, serve, and reach them in a meaningful way. The purpose of this post is to help leaders in the LDS Church understand why Millennials are unique, what their needs are, how their needs and philosophies may clash against LDS tradition, and what LDS leaders can do to better support, serve, and reach a generation that Baby Boomers and Gen Xers have a hard time relating to and understanding. What makes Millennials Before answering this question, it is important to point out two things related to research on Millennials. First, not all Millennials fit the “Millennial” mold or stereotype. While generational research focuses on the averages/generalities associated with different generations, there is great variation across Millennials. Second, while Millennials are unique from older generations, some of the differences are due to the difference in age common to different generations. Stated differently, while the needs, interests, and thought processes of Millennials are currently different than older generations, in many ways, the older generations had similar needs, interests, and thought processes while in their twenties and early thirties. For example, Millennials are currently more likely to change jobs than older generations, but that is a phenomenon that has always been the case for those in their twenties and early thirties, regardless of their generation. This is primarily the case because Millennials generally have fewer ties to others than older age groups. The following summarizes some of the primary ways Millennials are truly unique from other generations. Millennials: Have worse health than prior generations at the same age (e.g., more obesity). Have a lower level of general knowledge coming out of high school (National Center for Educational Statistics, U.S. Department of Education). Need and want greater supervision and support (in general, but particularly in the workplace). Are less loyal – Millennials will not hesitate to seek opportunities to better themselves. Author's Edit 8/18: The purpose of this article is to help LDS leaders and members understand why a large number of Millennial members are leaving the church (I personally see Millennials leaving the church as a negative thing,
About six months ago, as part of ward conference, my ward held a special ward council, with stake leaders also participating. The primary topic we discussed was what the ward could do to better support young adults and youth. As the discussion progressed, I made two observations. First, I observed a large age gap between those in the meeting and the demographic group being discussed. Most of the individuals in the meeting were from the Baby Boomer generation (born between 1946 and 1964), a few were from the Generation X generation (born between 1965 and 1979), and I was the only individual that was from the Millennial generation (born between 1980 and 1996). Second, it became clear that most in the meeting did not understand the needs and perspectives of young adults and youth, and were thus not in a great position to support, serve, and reach them in a meaningful way.

The purpose of this post is to help leaders in the LDS Church understand why Millennials are unique, what their needs are, how their needs and philosophies may clash against LDS tradition, and what LDS leaders can do to better support, serve, and reach a generation that Baby Boomers and Gen Xers have a hard time relating to and understanding.
What makes Millennials
Before answering this question, it is important to point out two things related to research on Millennials. First, not all Millennials fit the “Millennial” mold or stereotype. While generational research focuses on the averages/generalities associated with different generations, there is great variation across Millennials. Second, while Millennials are unique from older generations, some of the differences are due to the difference in age common to different generations. Stated differently, while the needs, interests, and thought processes of Millennials are currently different than older generations, in many ways, the older generations had similar needs, interests, and thought processes while in their twenties and early thirties. For example, Millennials are currently more likely to change jobs than older generations, but that is a phenomenon that has always been the case for those in their twenties and early thirties, regardless of their generation. This is primarily the case because Millennials generally have fewer ties to others than older age groups.

The following summarizes some of the primary ways Millennials are truly unique from other generations. Millennials:

Have worse health than prior generations at the same age (e.g., more obesity).
Have a lower level of general knowledge coming out of high school (National Center for Educational Statistics, U.S. Department of Education).
https://leadinglds.org/?p=35458 Craig Harline is an accomplished author and professor at Brigham Young University. He teaches Cultural and Religious History. He resides in Provo, Utah with his family but he also travels to Europe as he continues his research. Craig grew up in Fresno California. He was later called to Belgium to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was those experiences he had while on his mission that lead him to write the book Way Below The Angels, the Pretty Clearly Troubled but not even close to tragic confessions of a real life mormon missionary. In this book he shares what his expectations for his mission looked like, and what really happened as he enabled the power of the atonement. Episode Highlights: 5:32- Expectations for your mission or calling. 6:54- Your ideals are a starting point. 7:39 - Avoiding feelings of failure. 8:22 “Ideals are stars to steer by; they are not sticks to beat ourselves with.” (Barbara B. Smith) 12:28- How to help young missionaries set expectations before they leave on a mission. 15:45- The right answer is not always the heroic one. 18:37- We are not called to save everything, the Savior has already done that for us. 22:32- Sometimes we look for affirmations of success in all the wrong places. 28:16- Why people convert? 30:25-Helping missionaries understand social structures. 31:16- Who am I converting vs. Who am I befriending. 34:43-Learning to speak their language and learn their culture is an act of love. 35:53-Having unrealistic goals makes the mission about you, and not the people you are there to help. 38:15-The mission may not go the way you thought and it is ok to talk about it. 39:48-Sometimes you will not get along with your companion. Links Craig Harline website Way Below The Angels, the Pretty Clearly Troubled but not even close to tragic confessions of a real life Mormon missionary Craig Harline’s published books Times and Seasons Blog Craig Harline is an accomplished author and professor at Brigham Young University. He teaches Cultural and Religious History. He resides in Provo, Utah with his family but he also travels to Europe as he continues his research. -

Craig Harline is an accomplished author and professor at Brigham Young University. He teaches Cultural and Religious History. He resides in Provo, Utah with his family but he also travels to Europe as he continues his research.

Craig grew up in Fresno California. He was later called to Belgium to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was those experiences he had while on his mission that lead him to write the book Way Below The Angels, the Pretty Clearly Troubled but not even close to tragic confessions of a real life mormon missionary. In this book he shares what his expectations for his mission looked like, and what really happened as he enabled the power of the atonement.
Episode Highlights:

* 5:32- Expectations for your mission or calling.
* 6:54- Your ideals are a starting point.
* 7:39 - Avoiding feelings of failure.
* 8:22 “Ideals are stars to steer by; they are not sticks to beat ourselves with.” (Barbara B. Smith)
* 12:28- How to help young missionaries set expectations before they leave on a mission.
* 15:45- The right answer is not always the heroic one.
* 18:37- We are not called to save everything, the Savior has already done that for us.
* 22:32- Sometimes we look for affirmations of success in all the wrong places.
* 28:16- Why people convert?
* 30:25-Helping missionaries understand social structures.
* 31:16- Who am I converting vs. Who am I befriending.
* 34:43-Learning to speak their language and learn their culture is an act of love.
* 35:53-Having unrealistic goals makes the mission about you, and not the people you are there to help.
* 38:15-The mission may not go the way you thought and it is ok to talk about it.
* 39:48-Sometimes you will not get along with your companion.

Links

* Craig Harline website
* Way Below The Angels, the Pretty Clearly Troubled but not even close to tragic confessions of a real life Mormon missionary
* Craig Harline’s published books
* Times and Seasons Blog
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LeadingLDS clean 42:55
Lift Someone Daily | An Interview With Richard Seaman https://leadinglds.org/lift-someone-daily-an-interview-with-richard-seaman/ Sun, 23 Jul 2017 09:00:25 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35379 Richard Seaman is a business analyst and the founder of Beacon Leadership Development. Richard was raised in Flagstaff Arizona and now lives in Kaysville, Utah with his wife of 30 years. He has 5 kids and 6 grandchildren and currently serves in the High Council. Richard loves the youth of the church and has served as Young Men's president 6 times. Professionally, Richard is a certified executive life coach, trains leadership teams and is also a motivational speaker. He is well versed in leadership development, collaborative work group training and management consulting. In this episode Richard talks about being an intentional leader and having a vision statement in your calling. Episode Highlights: 19:15 Advice for a new Young Men's president 21:30 What can we understand about being intentional as a leader - know what your purpose is for the entire time you serve in your calling 24:00 How to be intentional 26:00 An example of a vision statement for a Young Men's presidency 29:00 Ward council- not making it gossip 29:30 Having a meeting facilitator in ward council 32:30 Ward council- dealing with facts and not gossip 39:00 Being addicted to LSD- lift someone daily 41:15 Be intentional with leadership activities 43:30 Example of lifting someone daily- Atlanta airport 48:00 Smile more 49:30 Leadership is one on one Links: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven Covey Motivating the Minister Summit Beacon Leadership Richard Seaman is a business analyst and the founder of Beacon Leadership Development. Richard was raised in Flagstaff Arizona and now lives in Kaysville, Utah with his wife of 30 years. He has 5 kids and 6 grandchildren and currently serves in the Hig... Episode Highlights:

* 19:15 Advice for a new Young Men's president
* 21:30 What can we understand about being intentional as a leader - know what your purpose is for the entire time you serve in your calling
* 24:00 How to be intentional
* 26:00 An example of a vision statement for a Young Men's presidency
* 29:00 Ward council- not making it gossip
* 29:30 Having a meeting facilitator in ward council
* 32:30 Ward council- dealing with facts and not gossip
* 39:00 Being addicted to LSD- lift someone daily
* 41:15 Be intentional with leadership activities
* 43:30 Example of lifting someone daily- Atlanta airport
* 48:00 Smile more
* 49:30 Leadership is one on one

Links:

* 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven Covey
* Motivating the Minister Summit
* Beacon Leadership

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 49:39
Returning to the LDS Church: “The Further I Got the Easier it Was” | An Interview With Brian Wilson https://leadinglds.org/returning-to-the-lds-church-the-further-i-got-the-easier-it-was-an-interview-with-brian-wilson/ Sun, 16 Jul 2017 12:00:40 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35164 Brian Wilson who was born in San Diego, but moved frequently due to being raised in a military family, now lives in Kansas City Missouri. Brian’s was born into a family where both parents converted to the church. As a youth Brian overcame many struggles in his youth including being abused. In this episode he shares his story of being born into the church, leaving it, and the bumpy path back. There is great insight into the thoughts and stories in a member who has left the church, but still remembers what is right. Episode Highlights: Suggestions for youth leaders that may work with abused youth (9:41) Brian’s journey from baptizing a friend to inactivity in the church, “The farther he got the easier it was." (11:12) How he slid on the slippery slope (14:14) Fading strong friendships (15:20) Removing his name from the records (16:10) Realizing that anger lead to unhappiness (19:20) Realizing his weakness (20:30) Leaders can reach out and let less active members know they are needed and loved (21:13) Some members are looking for a reason or an excuse (24:24) It isn’t as hard as it seams to remove your name from the roles (24:50) Finding purpose outside the church (25:45) The bumps on the road to reactivity was rough (26:35) Brian’s family didn’t give up (29:44) The power of a good neighbor.  The invitation was always there. (30:55) Receiving simple service (33:20) “All that I ask is that you listen,” Brian tells about supporting his wife as she learned more about the gospel (36:14) The fellow shippers really wanted to get to know them (37:52) "Going back to church after 20 years…" (39:04) Process of being rebaptized (40:09) Brian Wilson who was born in San Diego, but moved frequently due to being raised in a military family, now lives in Kansas City Missouri. Brian’s was born into a family where both parents converted to the church. Episode Highlights:

* Suggestions for youth leaders that may work with abused youth (9:41)
* Brian’s journey from baptizing a friend to inactivity in the church, “The farther he got the easier it was." (11:12)
* How he slid on the slippery slope (14:14)
* Fading strong friendships (15:20)
* Removing his name from the records (16:10)
* Realizing that anger lead to unhappiness (19:20)
* Realizing his weakness (20:30)
* Leaders can reach out and let less active members know they are needed and loved (21:13)
* Some members are looking for a reason or an excuse (24:24)
* It isn’t as hard as it seams to remove your name from the roles (24:50)
* Finding purpose outside the church (25:45)
* The bumps on the road to reactivity was rough (26:35)
* Brian’s family didn’t give up (29:44)
* The power of a good neighbor.  The invitation was always there. (30:55)
* Receiving simple service (33:20)
* “All that I ask is that you listen,” Brian tells about supporting his wife as she learned more about the gospel (36:14) The fellow shippers really wanted to get to know them (37:52)
* "Going back to church after 20 years…" (39:04)
* Process of being rebaptized (40:09)
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 46:31
3 Pitfalls When Administering Ward Callings https://leadinglds.org/3-pitfalls-when-administering-ward-callings/ Thu, 13 Jul 2017 14:07:17 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35060 We learn from the Fifth Article of Faith and from the Church Handbooks that "a person must be called of God to serve in the Church." Notice the preposition is “called of God,” not called by God. It's easy for leaders to assume that God has a calling board in heaven on the wall of His office covered with magnetic pictures of each person in your ward. We assume He has determined every calling in your ward and carefully placed individuals in specific auxiliaries, and He is waiting for you, the leader, to read His mind so that you put every person in his or her perfect calling so that your calling board matches His. This results in leaders straining to read the mind of God; or trying to figure out who was called by God, rather than who is called of God. Elder Bednar gave a similar message in the April 2017 General Conference when he said, "...a missionary is not called to a place; rather, he or she is called to serve." Likewise, a member of your ward is called to serve, and where they are assigned in your ward may not always be gift wrapped in revelation. I'll be the first to admit it’s a powerful experience when a specific person comes to the mind of the bishop, and he knows where this member should be called to serve. But leaders must also feel confident in placing individuals in callings per their own decision making capacity rather than expecting a clear revelation in every instance. Elder Robert D. Hales said, "I remind all of us that the Holy Ghost is not given to control us. Some of us unwisely seek the Holy Ghost’s direction on every minor decision in our lives. This trivializes His sacred role." This guidance can be applied to making decision in our wards and organizations. Often, revelation comes by leaders deciding with the good judgment the Lord gave him or her, and then considering it revelation. The life experiences and decision making ability the Lord has given leaders is a way He influences and directs through revelation. Once leaders recognize the autonomy they have in whom to select to serve, the more confidence they have to make a call and not fret when it doesn't work out, or the process is messy. That said, the following are key pitfalls some leaders experience in the calling process. My hope is that leaders can watch out for these pitfalls and act with confidence, minimizing the burden of trying to read the mind of God in every instance. Expecting Specific Revelation for Each Calling When leaders have the mindset of finding who is called by God rather than who is called of God, we tend to search for a specific name who could serve, rather than a list of options. This is often seen when the bishop is approached by the Relief Society president and the Primary president, both having received inspiration that a specific sister is to serve in her auxiliary. It may be that the Lord places the name of an individual in the mind of the leader not that the individual should be specifically called to that position, but rather, He is guiding you to consider someone you haven't, helping you arrive at a better decision. So, when two auxiliary leaders approach the bishopric with the same name coming from the same Heavenly Source, it is important for the bishopric to validate the auxiliary leader’s prompting that is part of the revelatory process, and know "that final responsibility to receive inspiration on whom to call rests with the stake presidency or the bishopric." (Handbook 2: 19.1.2) When the Bishopric Makes All the Assignments I often hear of bishoprics who spend most their meeting time discussing each calling in each auxiliary, without considering or including the input of the auxiliary leaders. They replace primary teachers, elders quorum instructors, Gospel Doctrine teachers, etc., without any input from the auxiliary leaders. There are many auxiliary leaders in the church who find out in ward business during sacrament meeting who is on their roster. Or, We learn from the Fifth Article of Faith and from the Church Handbooks that "a person must be called of God to serve in the Church." Notice the preposition is “called of God,” not called by God. It's easy for leaders to assume that God has a calling bo... Fifth Article of Faith and from the Church Handbooks that "a person must be called of God to serve in the Church." Notice the preposition is “called of God,” not called by God. It's easy for leaders to assume that God has a calling board in heaven on the wall of His office covered with magnetic pictures of each person in your ward. We assume He has determined every calling in your ward and carefully placed individuals in specific auxiliaries, and He is waiting for you, the leader, to read His mind so that you put every person in his or her perfect calling so that your calling board matches His. This results in leaders straining to read the mind of God; or trying to figure out who was called by God, rather than who is called of God. Elder Bednar gave a similar message in the April 2017 General Conference when he said, "...a missionary is not called to a place; rather, he or she is called to serve." Likewise, a member of your ward is called to serve, and where they are assigned in your ward may not always be gift wrapped in revelation.

I'll be the first to admit it’s a powerful experience when a specific person comes to the mind of the bishop, and he knows where this member should be called to serve. But leaders must also feel confident in placing individuals in callings per their own decision making capacity rather than expecting a clear revelation in every instance. Elder Robert D. Hales said, "I remind all of us that the Holy Ghost is not given to control us. Some of us unwisely seek the Holy Ghost’s direction on every minor decision in our lives. This trivializes His sacred role." This guidance can be applied to making decision in our wards and organizations. Often, revelation comes by leaders deciding with the good judgment the Lord gave him or her, and then considering it revelation. The life experiences and decision making ability the Lord has given leaders is a way He influences and directs through revelation. Once leaders recognize the autonomy they have in whom to select to serve, the more confidence they have to make a call and not fret when it doesn't work out, or the process is messy.

That said, the following are key pitfalls some leaders experience in the calling process. My hope is that leaders can watch out for these pitfalls and act with confidence, minimizing the burden of trying to read the mind of God in every instance.
Expecting Specific Revelation for Each Calling
When leaders have the mindset of finding who is called by God rather than who is called of God, we tend to search for a specific name who could serve, rather than a list of options. This is often seen when the bishop is approached by the Relief Society president and the Primary president, both having received inspiration that a specific sister is to serve in her auxiliary. It may be that the Lord places the name of an individual in the mind of the leader not that the individual should be specifically called to that position, but rather, He is guiding you to consider someone you haven't, helping you arrive at a better decision.

So, when two auxiliary leaders approach the bishopric with the same name coming from the same Heavenly Source, it is important for the bishopric to validate the auxiliary leader’s prompting that is part of the revelatory process, and know "that final responsibility to receive inspiration on whom to call rests with the stake presidency or the bishopric." (Handbook 2: 19.1.2)
When the Bishopric Makes All the Assignments
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 16:28
What Every LDS Leader Needs to Understand About the Addiction Recovery Program | An Introduction to The Next Step Podcast https://leadinglds.org/what-every-lds-leader-needs-to-understand-about-the-addiction-recovery-program-an-introduction-to-the-next-step-podcast/ Sun, 09 Jul 2017 12:00:11 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35062 The Next Step Podcast is a weekly podcast focusing on the joys of recovery and sobriety in an LDS context. Creators and hosts, Brad and Jay, join Kurt to talk about the Addiction Recovery Program and how everyone, including church leaders, family, and friends, in addition to those suffering from the disease of addiction, can benefit by understanding the 12 steps, knowing when and where meetings are held, and understanding how to reach out to those in need of help.  Jay explains how he became addicted to prescription painkillers while on his mission, his struggles with addiction after, and the moment someone reached out to him and invited him to an Addiction Recovery Program meeting. Together, Brad and Jay discuss the leader's role in addiction recovery, how a sponsor is different than a priesthood leader (and the important, but separate, roles that each play in helping those with addictions), how to help youth and teens struggling with addiction, and the important role the family plays in the ongoing recovery process. (38:30) What is a sponsor in the addiction recovery program? How does someone become a sponsor? (40:00) How does your sponsor differ from a priesthood leader? (44:30) As leaders, we carry the message, not the person (46:45) Helping youth with addiction (51:00) Treating addiction as a family (55:00) Addiction and "Betrayal Trauma" Links: Addiction Recovery Program Website The Next Step Podcast on iTunes The Next Step Podcast Facebook page   The Next Step Podcast is a weekly podcast focusing on the joys of recovery and sobriety in an LDS context. Creators and hosts, Brad and Jay, join Kurt to talk about the Addiction Recovery Program and how everyone, including church leaders, family, The Next Step Podcast is a weekly podcast focusing on the joys of recovery and sobriety in an LDS context. Creators and hosts, Brad and Jay, join Kurt to talk about the Addiction Recovery Program and how everyone, including church leaders, family, and friends, in addition to those suffering from the disease of addiction, can benefit by understanding the 12 steps, knowing when and where meetings are held, and understanding how to reach out to those in need of help. 

Jay explains how he became addicted to prescription painkillers while on his mission, his struggles with addiction after, and the moment someone reached out to him and invited him to an Addiction Recovery Program meeting. Together, Brad and Jay discuss the leader's role in addiction recovery, how a sponsor is different than a priesthood leader (and the important, but separate, roles that each play in helping those with addictions), how to help youth and teens struggling with addiction, and the important role the family plays in the ongoing recovery process.

(38:30) What is a sponsor in the addiction recovery program? How does someone become a sponsor?


(40:00) How does your sponsor differ from a priesthood leader?


(44:30) As leaders, we carry the message, not the person


(46:45) Helping youth with addiction


(51:00) Treating addiction as a family


(55:00) Addiction and "Betrayal Trauma"

Links:
Addiction Recovery Program Website

The Next Step Podcast on iTunes

The Next Step Podcast Facebook page

 ]]>
LeadingLDS clean 67:03
Creating Joy in Church Service | How I Lead: Steve Russell https://leadinglds.org/creating-joy-in-church-service-how-i-lead-steve-russell/ Mon, 03 Jul 2017 13:32:21 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35181 Steve Russell, of Lehi Utah, practices law in Salt Lake City and is a graduate of the BYU’s J. Reuben Clark Law School. Steve completed an honorable mission in Bolivia and married a returned missionary. He and his wife Janice are the parents of eight children and he has served in many church callings: counselor, teacher, high councilor, youth choir/orchestra leader, family history consultant and as bishop in Tooele, Utah. Among the family traditions in the Russell household is the annual celebration of the Passover during the Easter season. At the time of his conversion to the Church in 1982, Brother Russell was a 22-year old jazz musician in Southern California. He was experiencing a season of serious contemplation about influential people and the nature of God when missionaries knocked on his door.  Through faithful study, prayer and participation he felt the light of the Lord enter his life, obtained a fervent testimony of the Book of Mormon and came to realize how someone can declare “I know” when speaking of spiritual convictions. When asked about milestones or turning points in his spiritual life, Steve references attending his first post-mission general conference where he was privileged to hear the stirring final testimony of the late Elder Bruce R. McConkie in 1985.(1) Brother Russell has an abiding testimony of the “commitment pattern.” He knows from personal experience and from serving as a bishop how vital it is to strive for personal purity by overcoming one’s sins, beginning with the most serious, and making definitive commitments to God through fervent prayer and “reporting back” to the Lord. This same pattern will help serious-minded Saints in dealing with a variety of challenges, including such things as compulsive behaviors (e.g. pornography, overeating, anger, etc.). He referenced pertinent and meaningful talks by President Spencer W. Kimball (2) and Elder David A. Bednar (3) on this same subject. Brother Russell asserts that Church leaders at any level must study the relevant handbooks and learn to love, serve and lead with the help of God through mighty prayer.  His experience is that there are many Church members who love deeply and desire to be valuable servants in the Kingdom. Serving and leading have helped Brother Russel appreciate the many blessings afforded by the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially the power of the Atonement. Five Principle of Leadership: Assume the best in the people serving. Don’t judge people by outward appearances, be they youth or adults. Find ways to connect with them and allow them to experience growth. (29:05) Every person has a unique perspective. Build on their strengths and do not make them feel inadequate. (30:35) Every person has something to offer. Don’t try to control circumstances to the point of stifling contributions. This occasionally happens in gospel classes. Consider their various contributions seriously, even if the meaning is not clear on the surface. Appreciate their courage in contributing. (32:05) Remember to discover and create joy in church service. It’s counterproductive to be stressed in church work. Leaders should seek to make serving joyful and/or fun. (34:10) If you are not loving those you serve, repeat steps one through four, above. (36:44) Links: “The Purifying Power of Gethsemane,” Elder Bruce R. McConkie, April 1985 "Converted Unto the Lord," Elder David A. Bednar, October 2012 Youtube Links: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2v5K40Jghw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kfTZTJ2J4I https://vimeo.com/136479141 https://youtu.be/rdjH_-SyJY8 Steve Russell, of Lehi Utah, practices law in Salt Lake City and is a graduate of the BYU’s J. Reuben Clark Law School. Steve completed an honorable mission in Bolivia and married a returned missionary. He and his wife Janice are the parents of eight c...
At the time of his conversion to the Church in 1982, Brother Russell was a 22-year old jazz musician in Southern California. He was experiencing a season of serious contemplation about influential people and the nature of God when missionaries knocked on his door.  Through faithful study, prayer and participation he felt the light of the Lord enter his life, obtained a fervent testimony of the Book of Mormon and came to realize how someone can declare “I know” when speaking of spiritual convictions. When asked about milestones or turning points in his spiritual life, Steve references attending his first post-mission general conference where he was privileged to hear the stirring final testimony of the late Elder Bruce R. McConkie in 1985.(1) Brother Russell has an abiding testimony of the “commitment pattern.” He knows from personal experience and from serving as a bishop how vital it is to strive for personal purity by overcoming one’s sins, beginning with the most serious, and making definitive commitments to God through fervent prayer and “reporting back” to the Lord. This same pattern will help serious-minded Saints in dealing with a variety of challenges, including such things as compulsive behaviors (e.g. pornography, overeating, anger, etc.). He referenced pertinent and meaningful talks by President Spencer W. Kimball (2) and Elder David A. Bednar (3) on this same subject.

Brother Russell asserts that Church leaders at any level must study the relevant handbooks and learn to love, serve and lead with the help of God through mighty prayer.  His experience is that there are many Church members who love deeply and desire to be valuable servants in the Kingdom. Serving and leading have helped Brother Russel appreciate the many blessings afforded by the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially the power of the Atonement.
Five Principle of Leadership:

Assume the best in the people serving. Don’t judge people by outward appearances, be they youth or adults. Find ways to connect with them and allow them to experience growth. (29:05)
Every person has a unique perspective. Build on their strengths and do not make them feel inadequate. (30:35)
Every person has something to offer. Don’t try to control circumstances to the point of stifling contributions. This occasionally happens in gospel classes. Consider their various contributions seriously, even if the meaning is not clear on the surface. Appreciate their courage in contributing. (32:05)
Remember to discover and create joy in church service. It’s counterproductive to be stressed in church work. Leaders should seek to make serving joyful and/or fun. (34:10)
If you are not loving those you serve, repeat steps one through four, above. (36:44)

Links:

“The Purifying Power of Gethsemane,” Elder Bruce R. McConkie, April 1985
"Converted Unto the Lord," Elder David A. Bednar, October 2012
Youtube Links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2v5K40Jghw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kfTZTJ2J4I
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 46:05
Female LDS Leaders “At the Pulpit” | An Interview With Kate Holbrook https://leadinglds.org/female-lds-leaders-at-the-pulpit-an-interview-with-kate-holbrook/ Sun, 25 Jun 2017 12:00:04 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=35016 Kate Holbrook is the managing historian for Women’s History at the Church History Department of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Kate is co-editor of two books, The First Fifty Years of Relief Society, and At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women. Before working for the church Kate served a mission in Russia. She went on to earn her masters degree at Harvard Divinity School in World Religions. She also earned her PHD from Boston University in Religious Studies. Episode Highlights: At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women. Relief Society, The Early Years.  While Kate was working on her PHD she worked on a comparative project where she examined women, food, and religion in the LDS religion and the Nation of Islam. She studied how our emphasis on self sufficiency helped shape our recipes. She is working on publishing this book. 8:33  Kate’s first task while working for the church was helping to publish The First Fifty Years of Relief Society. She worked on this for the first 4 years of her employment. 10:53 In early church history adult women had to apply to become a member of the relief society. 11:35  Membership cards for relief society were distributed in early Nauvoo. 12:10  It was not until the 1970’s when you automatically became a member of the relief society if you were a female adult member of the church. 12:14  When the relief society was first founded it was referred to as the women’s quorum. 12:30 The early years of relief society the women were very involved in the local board and local Red Cross. As the church grew, that fell away and they focused on ministry to a global church. 12:59 At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women. The authors of the book wrote introductions to each discourse and gave biographical information on the speakers. 14:00 In the early years of the church the women would speak at sacrament meetings and cottage meetings, Talks could also be found in the Women’s Exponent Newspaper. These were all looked at as they studied which talks to included in the book. 16:07  Eliza R. Snow was a champion in helping women to stand up and find their voice. 19:24  Belle S. Spafford’s picture is on the cover of this book. She was the General Relief Society President for 30 years (1945-1975). She was also on the General Relief Society Board for 40 years. 19:49 The criteria for this book was timeless well written talks, and talks that engage doctrine, and inspire. 26:39  The women in the book had a strong vision of their potential. They were going to save the world, not just the Mormon world but the whole world. 27:51  The support the women had for the suffrage movement was to restore women to her rightful place so her voice can be part of the running of the world. 28:02  As they prepared the book, they picked two or three talks per decade. 29:10  The talk they included from Sheri Dew explains how to learn the language of revelation when the Spirit talks to you. 29:57  The early sisters in the relief society were very organized and great at mentoring the coming generation. 30:39 Links: The First Fifty Years of Relief Society At the Pulpit 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women Church History Site: At the Pulpit 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint   Kate Holbrook is the managing historian for Women’s History at the Church History Department of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Kate is co-editor of two books, The First Fifty Years of Relief Society, and At The Pulpit, Episode Highlights:
At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women.

Relief Society, The Early Years.

*  While Kate was working on her PHD she worked on a comparative project where she examined women, food, and religion in the LDS religion and the Nation of Islam. She studied how our emphasis on self sufficiency helped shape our recipes. She is working on publishing this book. 8:33
*  Kate’s first task while working for the church was helping to publish The First Fifty Years of Relief Society. She worked on this for the first 4 years of her employment. 10:53
* In early church history adult women had to apply to become a member of the relief society. 11:35
*  Membership cards for relief society were distributed in early Nauvoo. 12:10
*  It was not until the 1970’s when you automatically became a member of the relief society if you were a female adult member of the church. 12:14
*  When the relief society was first founded it was referred to as the women’s quorum. 12:30
* The early years of relief society the women were very involved in the local board and local Red Cross. As the church grew, that fell away and they focused on ministry to a global church. 12:59

At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women.

* The authors of the book wrote introductions to each discourse and gave biographical information on the speakers. 14:00
* In the early years of the church the women would speak at sacrament meetings and cottage meetings, Talks could also be found in the Women’s Exponent Newspaper. These were all looked at as they studied which talks to included in the book. 16:07
*  Eliza R. Snow was a champion in helping women to stand up and find their voice. 19:24
*  Belle S. Spafford’s picture is on the cover of this book. She was the General Relief Society President for 30 years (1945-1975). She was also on the General Relief Society Board for 40 years. 19:49
* The criteria for this book was timeless well written talks, and talks that engage doctrine, and inspire. 26:39
*  The women in the book had a strong vision of their potential. They were going to save the world, not just the Mormon world but the whole world. 27:51
*  The support the women had for the suffrage movement was to restore women to her rightful place so her voice can be part of the running of the world. 28:02
*  As they prepared the book, they picked two or three talks per decade. 29:10
*  The talk they included from Sheri Dew explains how to learn the language of revelation when the Spirit talks to you. 29:57
*  The early sisters in the relief society were very organized and great at mentoring the coming generation. 30:39

Links:

* The First Fifty Years of Relief Society
* At the Pulpit 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women
* Church History Site: At the Pulpit 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint

 



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LeadingLDS clean 36:59
Why Every Leader Needs to Understand Time Budgets | An Interview With Dave Crenshaw https://leadinglds.org/why-every-leader-needs-to-understand-time-budgets-an-interview-with-dave-crenshaw/ Sun, 18 Jun 2017 12:00:19 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=34677 Dave Crenshaw is an author, speaker, and master of building productive leaders. He has appeared in Time magazine, USA Today, FastCompany, and the BBC News. His courses on LinkedIn Learning have received millions of views. He has written three books and counting, including The Myth of Multitasking which was published in six languages and is a time management bestseller. His fourth book, The Power of Having Fun, is due for release in September 2017. Dave was called to serve a mission in Portugal and was later reassigned to the Indiana, eventually assisting in the opening of Spanish-speaking Indianapolis. He attended Brigham Young University and currently resides in Herriman, Utah with his wife and kids. Episode Highlights: (14:00) Importance of clearly defined “dividing points” within the day/week. “Bank of time” principle – time behaves like money. Time demands and “interest rate” in repayment. Determining your “budget” and then not crossing it – actually under spend your time. Budgeting transition time between activities to allow for buffer time. Google setting “Speedy Meeting” that automatically adds buffer time in calendar. (20:00) How to Communicate time budget boundaries to others. Correct answer: Regularly scheduled meetings with those with whom you need to meet. Establishing a clear “when” to reduce the occurrence of “now”. Practical answer: Leave time each day/week unscheduled to allow for unexpected needs (buffer time). Time budget equivalent of a rainy day fund/emergency preparedness for our time. (24:30) Principles for running an effective meeting. Make sure that all meetings are action-oriented. Every meeting ends with a question. What are the actions that are going to be taken? Who is going to do them? When are they going to deliver them? Secretary makes note of the actions, gives reminders to the individuals assigned a task and a summary to the individual running the meeting. (27:20) The Myth of Multitasking. Be aware of “switch-tasking”. Switch-tasking on an individual communicates to them that they are not important. “Back-tasking”. (35:00) Public speaking tips (sacrament meeting, teaching lessons, etc). Went through seminary training program while at Brigham Young University. Feel confident about what we are doing. Teach Ye Diligently, by President Boyd K Packer. (39:00) Effectively using principles of Readiness, Participation, and Application. Links: DaveCrenshaw.com The Myth of Multitasking by Dave Crenshaw The Power of Having Fun by Dave Crenshaw Teach Ye Diligently by President Boyd K. Packer Dave Crenshaw is an author, speaker, and master of building productive leaders. He has appeared in Time magazine, USA Today, FastCompany, and the BBC News. His courses on LinkedIn Learning have received millions of views. The Myth of Multitasking which was published in six languages and is a time management bestseller. His fourth book, The Power of Having Fun, is due for release in September 2017. Dave was called to serve a mission in Portugal and was later reassigned to the Indiana, eventually assisting in the opening of Spanish-speaking Indianapolis. He attended Brigham Young University and currently resides in Herriman, Utah with his wife and kids.
Episode Highlights:
(14:00) Importance of clearly defined “dividing points” within the day/week.

* “Bank of time” principle – time behaves like money.
* Time demands and “interest rate” in repayment.
* Determining your “budget” and then not crossing it – actually under spend your time.
* Budgeting transition time between activities to allow for buffer time.
* Google setting “Speedy Meeting” that automatically adds buffer time in calendar.

(20:00) How to Communicate time budget boundaries to others.

* Correct answer: Regularly scheduled meetings with those with whom you need to meet.

* Establishing a clear “when” to reduce the occurrence of “now”.


* Practical answer: Leave time each day/week unscheduled to allow for unexpected needs (buffer time).

* Time budget equivalent of a rainy day fund/emergency preparedness for our time.



(24:30) Principles for running an effective meeting.

* Make sure that all meetings are action-oriented.
* Every meeting ends with a question.

* What are the actions that are going to be taken?
* Who is going to do them? When are they going to deliver them?
* Secretary makes note of the actions, gives reminders to the individuals assigned a task and a summary to the individual running the meeting.



(27:20) The Myth of Multitasking.

* Be aware of “switch-tasking”.
* Switch-tasking on an individual communicates to them that they are not important.
* “Back-tasking”.

(35:00) Public speaking tips (sacrament meeting, teaching lessons, etc).

* Went through seminary training program while at Brigham Young University.

* Feel confident about what we are doing.


* Teach Ye Diligently, by President Boyd K Packer.
* (39:00) Effectively using principles of Readiness, Participation, and Application.

Links:

* DaveCrenshaw.com
* The Myth of Multitasking by Dave Crenshaw
* The Power of Having Fun by Dave Crenshaw
* Teach Ye Diligently by President Boyd K. Packer
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 47:43
New Children’s Book to Teach Young Children About the Dangers of Pornography | An Interview With Kristen Jenson https://leadinglds.org/new-childrens-book-to-teach-young-children-about-the-dangers-of-pornography-an-interview-with-kristen-jenson/ Sun, 11 Jun 2017 12:00:13 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=34674 Kristen Jenson, is the founder of ProtectYoungMinds.org and best selling author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids. She serves on the Prevention Task Force of the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation. She received her Bachelors degree in English Literature and a Masters degree in Organizational Communication. She currently lives in Washington state. She recently wrote the book Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds, a book aimed at 3-6 years old. It’s an easy way for parents to start the conversation early to protect their young children. Episode Highlights Kristen shares that she didn’t receive a script on how to help talk to her children about pornography (4:34). How pornography impacts children in general was covered in the prior episode. The FBI did a study and found that among the growing problems with the internet and children the the biggest problem is sextortion (8:14). The book teaches children that it is never okay for someone to take pictures of themselves with out their clothes on or to take pictures of themselves and to post or share pictures (9:19). The best time to start taking to your kids about pornography is when they are 3-6, because this is when they are on the internet (10:32). Kristen explains the how she decided to adapt the message from the first book to the second book, when it targets a younger demographic (12:04). Introduces the Turn, Run & Tell plan for kids to use when they are exposed to bad pictures (14:12). The book contains sticky notes to encourage parents to have discussion with kids about different topics (14:49). This process is not just educating your child about the harm of pornography, but it’s about persuading them on an ongoing basis that you will be safer and happier if you stay away from bad pictures (15:41). Parents say that the book has helped them have better relationships with their children by discussing these difficult topics (16:16). The book compares bad pictures to poison and how it can hurt your body (17:28). One of the most dangerous things parents can say is that their children are 100% protected (19:00). If you start teaching your children young, the discussion won’t be awkward (21:20). Focus on building an eternal filter, that the child can recognize what the bad, know it can be harmful and to know what to do when they find it (21:40). How can church leaders use the book as a tool to help parents (22:38). Seeing Pornography as an addiction (25:20). Shame can fuel children to keep things they see a secret (31:17) Links Protect Young Minds Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids Past LeadingLDS Interview with Kristen Salt Lake Tribune article about 'Sexortion'   Kristen Jenson, is the founder of ProtectYoungMinds.org and best selling author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids. She serves on the Prevention Task Force of the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation. ProtectYoungMinds.org and best selling author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids. She serves on the Prevention Task Force of the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation. She received her Bachelors degree in English Literature and a Masters degree in Organizational Communication. She currently lives in Washington state. She recently wrote the book Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds, a book aimed at 3-6 years old. It’s an easy way for parents to start the conversation early to protect their young children.
Episode Highlights

* Kristen shares that she didn’t receive a script on how to help talk to her children about pornography (4:34).
* How pornography impacts children in general was covered in the prior episode.
* The FBI did a study and found that among the growing problems with the internet and children the the biggest problem is sextortion (8:14).
* The book teaches children that it is never okay for someone to take pictures of themselves with out their clothes on or to take pictures of themselves and to post or share pictures (9:19).
* The best time to start taking to your kids about pornography is when they are 3-6, because this is when they are on the internet (10:32).
* Kristen explains the how she decided to adapt the message from the first book to the second book, when it targets a younger demographic (12:04).
* Introduces the Turn, Run & Tell plan for kids to use when they are exposed to bad pictures (14:12).
* The book contains sticky notes to encourage parents to have discussion with kids about different topics (14:49).
* This process is not just educating your child about the harm of pornography, but it’s about persuading them on an ongoing basis that you will be safer and happier if you stay away from bad pictures (15:41).
* Parents say that the book has helped them have better relationships with their children by discussing these difficult topics (16:16).
* The book compares bad pictures to poison and how it can hurt your body (17:28).
* One of the most dangerous things parents can say is that their children are 100% protected (19:00).
* If you start teaching your children young, the discussion won’t be awkward (21:20).
* Focus on building an eternal filter, that the child can recognize what the bad, know it can be harmful and to know what to do when they find it (21:40).
* How can church leaders use the book as a tool to help parents (22:38).
* Seeing Pornography as an addiction (25:20).
* Shame can fuel children to keep things they see a secret (31:17)

Links
Protect Young Minds

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds

Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids

Past LeadingLDS Interview with Kristen

https://leadinglds.org/?p=34486 Maurice Harker is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CMHC) based in Farmington, UT. Born in the Pocatello, ID area, he served a mission in Detroit, MI originally started his career focused on marriage therapy. He is the founder of Life Changing Services, which includes programs such as Sons of Helaman, Men of Moroni, Daughters of Light, and others. He is the author of “Like Dragons Did They Fight,” which bridges the gap between the Spiritual and the Temporal (physical) factors of addiction and addiction recovery. 16:30 “For such a smart kid, you sure do some stupid things sometimes”. There’s a stereotype that the people we work with and have these problems are the “stupid” or undisciplined ones (they’re not) 19:00 “Watch your thoughts”. What if Satan has learned to talk to us (in our heads) in our own voice? What happens if he can get us to feel like we’re fighting against ourselves and create a civil war within our own minds – a psychological civil war – fighting ourselves within our own heads? What can be the consequences of civil war? It is a mistake to convince people they are fighting against themselves – there is an actual enemy fighting against them. 24:30 Fighting “harder” or “smarter” isn’t always the answer. Must train the person fighting the battle to acquire the spirit of discernment to recognize microscopic brain chemical changes. Thoughts cause chemical reactions (Satan can’t affect chemicals, but can affect thoughts). Example: A basketball team calling timeout in an attempt to shake an opposing player out of “the zone,” a mental state wherein the chemicals of their brain are running smoothly. Satan attempts to shake us from our “zone” state by creating a change in our chemical reactions (via our thoughts) 31:45 “Chemical Scale” – A useful way to identify how “off” we are. Level 10: Crash - A crash, or lost battle, is when your behavior is against your value system. Levels 5-10: “Stupid Mode”. Level 5: “Give Up Moment”. Level 4: “Irrational Conversation”. Level 3: “Dude Moment” – the suggestion moment, trigger moment (as called by scientists), the temptation moment (as called by religionists), or the thought moment. If we set our alarms to go off at Level 3, we’re missing the opportunity to win the battle at Levels 1 and 2 because those levels are being skipped (i.e. Bishops asking someone to call them AFTER they’re tempted – it won’t work).  Level 2 – Emotions and Feelings – when looking at the thoughts or emotions themselves and not the chemical associated with them an important level is being skipped. Level at which you’re having a strong negative feeling for legitimate reasons. Satan’s “psychological massage” moment. Level 1 – Chemical level – when you’re not deviant, but just “off”. Level 0 - “Awesomeness Zone” – the natural, spiritual state of mind. 40:45 Doing spiritual things to stay connected to God is necessary, but not sufficient. We still must train our bodies to respond correctly to being attacked. Insight and motivation doesn’t conquer an addiction problem 45:00 The antidote is already in our head. The chemical release needed to win our battles is similar to what David felt as he went up against Goliath – the chemical release that gives us the confidence that we can win. This is the complete opposite of what someone feels when they’re feeling shame. If we communicate with someone in such a way that they are depleted or more scared or weak we increase the likelihood they are going to lose their next battle. 47:00 What is addiction like in the brain? There is a mechanism in the brain that functions as a nut and bolt set. When you tighten down on a decision and it sticks, the brain is working correctly. When you tighten down and it strips the threads, this is addiction – when you tighten down on someone and they keep slipping. Maurice Harker is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CMHC) based in Farmington, UT. Born in the Pocatello, ID area, he served a mission in Detroit, MI originally started his career focused on marriage therapy.
16:30 “For such a smart kid, you sure do some stupid things sometimes”.

* There’s a stereotype that the people we work with and have these problems are the “stupid” or undisciplined ones (they’re not)

19:00 “Watch your thoughts”.

* What if Satan has learned to talk to us (in our heads) in our own voice?
* What happens if he can get us to feel like we’re fighting against ourselves and create a civil war within our own minds – a psychological civil war – fighting ourselves within our own heads?
* What can be the consequences of civil war?
* It is a mistake to convince people they are fighting against themselves – there is an actual enemy fighting against them.

24:30 Fighting “harder” or “smarter” isn’t always the answer.

* Must train the person fighting the battle to acquire the spirit of discernment to recognize microscopic brain chemical changes.
* Thoughts cause chemical reactions (Satan can’t affect chemicals, but can affect thoughts).
* Example: A basketball team calling timeout in an attempt to shake an opposing player out of “the zone,” a mental state wherein the chemicals of their brain are running smoothly.
* Satan attempts to shake us from our “zone” state by creating a change in our chemical reactions (via our thoughts)

31:45 “Chemical Scale” – A useful way to identify how “off” we are.

* Level 10: Crash - A crash, or lost battle, is when your behavior is against your value system.
* Levels 5-10: “Stupid Mode”.
* Level 5: “Give Up Moment”.
* Level 4: “Irrational Conversation”.
* Level 3: “Dude Moment” – the suggestion moment, trigger moment (as called by scientists), the temptation moment (as called by religionists), or the thought moment.

* If we set our alarms to go off at Level 3, we’re missing the opportunity to win the battle at Levels 1 and 2 because those levels are being skipped (i.e. Bishops asking someone to call them AFTER they’re tempted – it won’t work).


*  Level 2 – Emotions and Feelings – when looking at the thoughts or emotions themselves and not the chemical associated with them an important level is being skipped.

* Level at which you’re having a strong negative feeling for legitimate reasons.
* Satan’s “psychological massage” moment.


* Level 1 – Chemical level – when you’re not deviant, but just “off”.
* Level 0 - “Awesomeness Zone” – the natural, spiritual state of mind.

40:45 Doing spiritual things to stay connected to God is necessary, but not sufficient.

* We still must train our bodies to respond correctly to being attacked.
* Insight and motivation doesn’t conquer an addiction problem

45:00 The antidote is already in our head.

* The chemical release needed to win our battles is similar to what David felt as he went up against Goliath – the chemical release that gives us the confidence that we can win.
* This is the complete opposite of what someone feels when they’re feeling shame.
* If we communicate with someone in such a way that they are depleted or more scared or weak we increase the likelihood they are going to lose their next battle.

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 60:49
How I Lead as Bishop in Hawaii | An Interview With Mark Harris https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-bishop-in-hawaii-an-interview-with-mark-harris/ Sun, 28 May 2017 12:00:07 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=33932 Mark Harris, currently a bishop in Hawaii. He served his mission in Idaho, attended Ricks College, and was married in Idaho as well. 5 Principles of Leadership 37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective. 41:51 - Train, lift, and empower those you call. 46:16 - Sustain those in authority, your leaders and subordinates. 49:21 - Maintain order and humble obedience 51:31 - Go and Do Episode Highlights Where were you raised? As an “Army Brat” he lived all over the world. Where were you baptized? In Germany as an 8 year old. What is your church legacy? Martin Harris is a (many) great-uncle. 12:40 - Who’s the most famous Mormon you’ve met? 14:35 - Does your family have any General Conference traditions? 15:16 - Church callings, elders quorum instructor, elders quorum Counselor, elders quorum president, Single Adult Branch Presidency Counselor, Third Counselor in the Bishopric, HP Group Leader, and Bishop. 17:15 - What was the purpose of calling a third counselor in the Bishopric? There was a large military ward with high turnover with which a third counselor helped to lighten the load. 18:43 - Tell us the story of being called as a Bishop. 23:09 - Tell us about being in a “military” ward. 25:42 - Did you institute specific programs to make sure that everything was covered with military families schedules? 28:34 - Any general approach to keeping the ward staffed and not making it the focus of each bishopric meeting?         The bishopric was able to forecast callings as people’s military assignments changed. The counselors are also responsible for reaching out to their auxiliaries and making sure that staffing needs are understood. 30:08 - Are the current presidents training replacements?         It’s disappointing to not have training available. The bishopric can sit down and help the individual understand the scope of the calling and what is expected of them. Through PPIs and continued communication, all callings are receiving their appropriate level of training. Auxiliary leaders know that they are responsible for training anyone under their umbrella. 32:08 - In a military ward, what does your week to week look like?         A lot of officers and enlisted members work together, they are able to work together as saints when they are at church and swap roles when they are working in the military. 34:51 - Any unique approaches to weekly ward meetings?         Never show up to a meeting unprepared. Every bishopric meeting starts with a hymn and a spiritual thought or handbook training. Focusing on the spiritually uplifting part of the meeting has made a difference. 37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective.         If you don’t have a goal in mind before you start, it’s easy to spin your wheels. Remind yourself that everything you do in the church has one purpose, bringing people to Christ. Keeping the eternal perspective helps you stay focused and not get distracted by the small stuff. If you rise above your problems that are obscuring your view, you’ll be able to see beyond the temporary problems. 41:51 - Train, lift, and empower those you call.         As the Bishop, you help the administration of the ward, you also help guide spiritually. Point out the spiritual principles and teach every chance you get. As leaders, you train, uplift and teach spiritual principles to those you lead. Have regular PPIs with auxiliary heads, it makes sure that each auxiliary has the bishop’s support and helps train leaders in the future. Empower everyone in the ward and not just the leaders. 46:16 - Sustain those in authority, your leaders and subordinates.         Recognize that everyone in their calling has been called of God and you sustain them as much as they sustain you. Step back and let them accomplish their calling in their way. Decide ahead of time that whether you agree with it or not, that you will do what you’ve been asked to do. Mark Harris, currently a bishop in Hawaii. He served his mission in Idaho, attended Ricks College, and was married in Idaho as well. - 5 Principles of Leadership 37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective. 41:51 - Train, lift,
5 Principles of Leadership

37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective.
41:51 - Train, lift, and empower those you call.
46:16 - Sustain those in authority, your leaders and subordinates.
49:21 - Maintain order and humble obedience
51:31 - Go and Do

Episode Highlights
Where were you raised? As an “Army Brat” he lived all over the world.
Where were you baptized? In Germany as an 8 year old.
What is your church legacy? Martin Harris is a (many) great-uncle.
12:40 - Who’s the most famous Mormon you’ve met?
14:35 - Does your family have any General Conference traditions?
15:16 - Church callings, elders quorum instructor, elders quorum Counselor, elders quorum president, Single Adult Branch Presidency Counselor, Third Counselor in the Bishopric, HP Group Leader, and Bishop. 17:15 - What was the purpose of calling a third counselor in the Bishopric? There was a large military ward with high turnover with which a third counselor helped to lighten the load. 18:43 - Tell us the story of being called as a Bishop.
23:09 - Tell us about being in a “military” ward.
25:42 - Did you institute specific programs to make sure that everything was covered with military families schedules?
28:34 - Any general approach to keeping the ward staffed and not making it the focus of each bishopric meeting?
        The bishopric was able to forecast callings as people’s military assignments changed. The counselors are also responsible for reaching out to their auxiliaries and making sure that staffing needs are understood.
30:08 - Are the current presidents training replacements?
        It’s disappointing to not have training available. The bishopric can sit down and help the individual understand the scope of the calling and what is expected of them. Through PPIs and continued communication, all callings are receiving their appropriate level of training. Auxiliary leaders know that they are responsible for training anyone under their umbrella.
32:08 - In a military ward, what does your week to week look like?
        A lot of officers and enlisted members work together, they are able to work together as saints when they are at church and swap roles when they are working in the military.
34:51 - Any unique approaches to weekly ward meetings?
        Never show up to a meeting unprepared. Every bishopric meeting starts with a hymn and a spiritual thought or handbook training. Focusing on the spiritually uplifting part of the meeting has made a difference.
37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective.
        If you don’t have a goal in mind before you start, it’s easy to spin your wheels. Remind yourself that everything you do in the church has one purpose, bringing people to Christ. Keeping the eternal perspective helps you stay focused and not get distracted by the small stuff. If you rise above your problems that are obscuring your view, you’ll be able to see beyond the temporary problems.
41:51 - Train, lift, and empower those you call.
        As the Bishop, you help the administration of the ward, you also help guide spiritually. Point out the spiritual principles and teach every chance you get. As leaders, you train, uplift and teach spiritual principles to those you lead. Have regular PPIs with auxiliary heads, it makes sure that each auxiliary has the bishop’s support and helps train leaders in the future. Empower everyone in the ward and not just the leaders.
46:16 - Sustain those in authority, your leaders and subordinates.
        Recognize that everyone in their calling has been called of God and you sustain them as much as they sustain you.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 58:40
What to do When the Bishop is an Accidental Diminisher | An Interview With Liz Wiseman https://leadinglds.org/what-to-do-when-the-bishop-is-an-accidental-diminisher-an-interview-with-liz-wiseman/ Sun, 21 May 2017 12:00:50 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=33863 Liz Wiseman has been named as one of the top 10 leadership thinkers in the world and teaches leadership to executives and emerging leaders internationally. She is the President of The Wiseman Group, a leadership research and development firm headquartered in Silicon Valley. She is the author of three best-selling books: Rookie Smarts: Why Learning Beats Knowing in the New Game of Work, Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter and The Multiplier Effect: Tapping the Genius Inside Our Schools. Her book Mulitipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter was recently revised and updated.  In this episode we talk about these revisions and what to do when we have a leader that is a "diminisher." A FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE INTERVIEW IS BELOW Interview Highlights: 3:30 Revised edition of Multipliers 7:00 Diminishers as leaders 8:30 How do we build a culture of leaders 11:30 How to see the accidental diminisher in you 16:00 How to approach a diminisher?               Most common strategies (that don't typically work)- Confront them Avoid them Quit Comply and lay low Ignore the diminishing behavior 18:00 Experience of Liz confronting a Relief Society President 21:00 Role play- good guy/bad boss 25:45 How to respond to a diminisher- Curiousity approach/ask questions          "I wonder why?" Have empathy.  Who did wrong by this person?  Who micromanaged them? 27:40 Having empathy for the people we work under changes the dynamics 28:15 Instead of excluding the diminisher, ask their opinion 30:00 You don't get to change other people but you can change your response 31:00 You have the choice to be the Multiplier yourself.  It doesn't have to come from the top 32:00 Choose to respond with love 33:00 You don't have to be the boss to be the Multiplier 34:15 Fluid leadership 37:00 Defensive moves- turn the volume down 39:00 Retreat and regroup- example from Apple executive Steve Jobs 42:00 Assert your capability- good strategy to deal with accidental diminisher- "I got this" 46:15 What Liz has learned about her discipleship of Jesus Christ Links: Order the revised edition of Multipliers Other Liz Wiseman interviews with LeadingLDS Full Interview Transcript: Kurt Francom (LLDS): Liz, this is your third time on the LeadingLDS podcast, and I welcome you back. Liz Wiseman: It's good to be here. You know, I actually thought it might be my fourth time, but it might- LLDS: It may be! Liz Wiseman: It might be the third or the fourth, but I hope you're suspicious that I'm out for your job, that I actually want to be the host of the LeadingLDS broadcast. LLDS: There you are. Well, it's yours. Liz Wiseman: Because I keep coming back. LLDS: You speak the words, and you can be the host of LeadingLDS. I think you're much more qualified than I will ever dream of being. Nonetheless, [00:03:25] I always mention how kind you've been to the LeadingLDS organization, and the way we've interacted. I do name drop your name for various times. "Yeah, I actually know Liz Wiseman, you know, so, she's a pretty big deal." Right? Liz Wiseman: We teach together. LLDS: We do, we do. The reason why we got this interview together is, you have recently revised your world-renowned, best-selling book, I'll build it up as it should be, of "Multipliers". You done a revised edition, is that right? Liz Wiseman: [00:01:00] We have. We've done a revised edition, it's really just started for me as just a little bit of a thorn that was in my side because there is this question that keeps coming up over and over. I've been trying to address it, and that led to this next edition. The question that had just come up for so many people, they say "I read your book. I very much want to be a multiplier, but I have to say, my biggest [00:01:30] angst is the fact that I'm stuck working for a diminisher. What do I do?" I wasn't hearing that question every now and then; I was hearing it constantly... Liz Wiseman has been named as one of the top 10 leadership thinkers in the world and teaches leadership to executives and emerging leaders internationally. She is the President of The Wiseman Group, a leadership research and development firm headquarte...


Liz Wiseman has been named as one of the top 10 leadership thinkers in the world and teaches leadership to executives and emerging leaders internationally. She is the President of The Wiseman Group, a leadership research and development firm headquartered in Silicon Valley. She is the author of three best-selling books: Rookie Smarts: Why Learning Beats Knowing in the New Game of Work, Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter and The Multiplier Effect: Tapping the Genius Inside Our Schools. Her book Mulitipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter was recently revised and updated.  In this episode we talk about these revisions and what to do when we have a leader that is a "diminisher."



A FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE INTERVIEW IS BELOW


Interview Highlights:
3:30 Revised edition of Multipliers
7:00 Diminishers as leaders
8:30 How do we build a culture of leaders
11:30 How to see the accidental diminisher in you
16:00 How to approach a diminisher?
              Most common strategies (that don't typically work)-

* Confront them
* Avoid them
* Quit
* Comply and lay low
* Ignore the diminishing behavior

18:00 Experience of Liz confronting a Relief Society President
21:00 Role play- good guy/bad boss
25:45 How to respond to a diminisher- Curiousity approach/ask questions
         "I wonder why?" Have empathy.  Who did wrong by this person?  Who micromanaged them?
27:40 Having empathy for the people we work under changes the dynamics
28:15 Instead of excluding the diminisher, ask their opinion
30:00 You don't get to change other people but you can change your response
31:00 You have the choice to be the Multiplier yourself.  It doesn't have to come from the top
32:00 Choose to respond with love
33:00 You don't have to be the boss to be the Multiplier
34:15 Fluid leadership
37:00 Defensive moves- turn the volume down
39:00 Retreat and regroup- example from Apple executive Steve Jobs
42:00 Assert your capability- good strategy to deal with accidental diminisher- "I got this"
46:15 What Liz has learned about her discipleship of Jesus Christ
Links:
Order the revised edition of Multipliers
Other Liz Wiseman interviews with LeadingLDS
Full Interview Transcript:
Kurt Francom (LLDS): Liz, this is your third time on the LeadingLDS podcast, and I welcome you back.

Liz Wiseman: It's good to be here. You know, I actually thought it might be my fourth time, but it might-

LLDS: It may be!

Liz Wiseman: It might be the third or the fourth, but I hope you're suspicious that I'm out for your job, that I actually want to be the host of the LeadingLDS broadcast.

LLDS: There you are. Well, it's yours.

Liz Wiseman: Because I keep coming back.

LLDS: You speak the words, and you can be the host of LeadingLDS. I think you're much more qualified than I will ever dream of being. Nonetheless, [00:03:25] I always mention how kind you've been to the LeadingLDS organization, and the way we've interacted. I do name drop your name for various times. "Yeah, I actually know Liz Wiseman, you know, so, she's a pretty big deal." Right?

]]> LeadingLDS clean 47:04 How I Lead as Assistant Ward Clerk | An Interview With Mikel Roper https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-assistant-ward-clerk-an-interview-with-mikal-roper/ Sun, 14 May 2017 13:00:00 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=33148 Mikel Roper is an Assistant Ward Clerk over Finance, and a Temple Ordinance Worker. Episode Highlights 4:20 - There is a lot of responsibility that goes along with being called as a clerk 5:19 - Where were you raised? When were you baptized? Did you serve a mission? Did you attend college? What is your vocation? Are you married and where did you meet? Do you have any children? Who is the most famous Mormon you’ve ever met? What is the first general conference talk that comes to mind? What is your favorite General Conference tradition? If you were to speak in General Conference which would you choose? What makes you a unique Mormon? What callings have you had and what’s your current calling? 17:00 - Did your technical background help you as a clerk? When the high councilman asked him to do it, he said it’s for the ward and not for the stake. How have you seen that manifest? The Bishop stated he didn’t have to worry about the finances because it’s in good hands. It’s a support to the bishop. 18:54 - How would you describe the week to week duties? Counting tithing, making sure it’s correct so when audits happen, he knows that everything is correct. Kindness begins with me: 20:02 - Kindness doesn’t always come natural, it’s not what you say to people but how you say it. When you’re helping others with finances, it’s very easy to say no, but in the role as a clerk you can build relationships. By helping everyone understand the math involved, it’s 21:36 - There are policies involved, but seeking to understand helps validate concerns and efforts by others. Interacting with all auxiliaries is part of the calling and be LISTEN: 22:34 - God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. If we’re always talking we can’t hear the words others are saying. We may be hearing what is said but not listening. The spirit can help guide. Provide people with the experience with being free to choose and leave them satisfied with the process that led to their choice: 23:47 - Coming from a leadership training, we want to feel like our point is valid. When you limit the ability for others to do something, you limit their agency. People don’t have to be satisfied with the choices they make or the consequences, it’s more about the ability to choose. As a clerk, you provide policy advice and help the others understand how to make choices along policy lines. Be sincere and open about choices and consequences. Manage your stewardship: 26:58 - Create a process that works for you and be consistent. Having a clean audit and making sure that your process works is important. Making sure that getting reimbursements are out in a timely manner is important as a clerk. Make sure to communicate with members on when reimbursement checks are going to be available. Make sure that your processes help the bishopric work smoothly and that reports are available in a timely manner. Checklists can help get you started with getting everything done that’s necessary and important. Counsel when appropriate: 31:20 - Clerks have a responsibility to know the policy and procedures and make sure that the bishopric is aware. The bishop can counsel from there on what the ward can do, but it’s important to make sure that what is under your stewardship is in line with church policy. You can respect priesthood authority by offering information, then the authority can make a better informed decision. Invite the spirit by following the promptings that come: 35:24 - Make sure to listen to the voice that suggests you double check your work. The spirit will help you remember work that you need to get done. We need the Holy Spirit in our administrating callings as well. This is the Lord’s money that we’re managing and we need to make sure that we’re managing it how He would. If you don’t have the spirit in your life, it’s not going to be in your calling either. Mikel Roper is an Assistant Ward Clerk over Finance, and a Temple Ordinance Worker. Episode Highlights 4:20 - There is a lot of responsibility that goes along with being called as a clerk 5:19 - Where were you raised? When were you baptized? Episode Highlights

* 4:20 - There is a lot of responsibility that goes along with being called as a clerk
* 5:19 - Where were you raised? When were you baptized? Did you serve a mission? Did you attend college? What is your vocation? Are you married and where did you meet? Do you have any children? Who is the most famous Mormon you’ve ever met? What is the first general conference talk that comes to mind? What is your favorite General Conference tradition? If you were to speak in General Conference which would you choose? What makes you a unique Mormon? What callings have you had and what’s your current calling?
* 17:00 - Did your technical background help you as a clerk? When the high councilman asked him to do it, he said it’s for the ward and not for the stake. How have you seen that manifest? The Bishop stated he didn’t have to worry about the finances because it’s in good hands. It’s a support to the bishop.
* 18:54 - How would you describe the week to week duties? Counting tithing, making sure it’s correct so when audits happen, he knows that everything is correct.


* Kindness begins with me:

* 20:02 - Kindness doesn’t always come natural, it’s not what you say to people but how you say it. When you’re helping others with finances, it’s very easy to say no, but in the role as a clerk you can build relationships. By helping everyone understand the math involved, it’s
* 21:36 - There are policies involved, but seeking to understand helps validate concerns and efforts by others. Interacting with all auxiliaries is part of the calling and be


* LISTEN:

* 22:34 - God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. If we’re always talking we can’t hear the words others are saying. We may be hearing what is said but not listening. The spirit can help guide.


* Provide people with the experience with being free to choose and leave them satisfied with the process that led to their choice:

* 23:47 - Coming from a leadership training, we want to feel like our point is valid. When you limit the ability for others to do something, you limit their agency. People don’t have to be satisfied with the choices they make or the consequences, it’s more about the ability to choose. As a clerk, you provide policy advice and help the others understand how to make choices along policy lines. Be sincere and open about choices and consequences.


* Manage your stewardship:

* 26:58 - Create a process that works for you and be consistent. Having a clean audit and making sure that your process works is important. Making sure that getting reimbursements are out in a timely manner is important as a clerk. Make sure to communicate with members on when reimbursement checks are going to be available. Make sure that your processes help the bishopric work smoothly and that reports are available in a timely manner. Checklists can help get you started with getting everything done that’s necessary and important.


* Counsel when appropriate:

* 31:20 - Clerks have a responsibility to know the policy and procedures and make sure that the bishopric is aware. The bishop can counsel from there on what the ward can do, but it’s important to make sure that what is under your stewardship is in line with church policy. You can respect priesthood authority by offering information, then the authority can make a better informed decision.


* Invite the spirit by following the promptings that come:

* 35:24 - Make sure to listen to the voice that suggests you double check your work. The spirit will help you remember work that you need to get done. We need the Holy Spirit in our administrating c...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 48:12
Managing the Counseling Burden as an LDS Leader | An Interview with Dr. Paul Jenkins https://leadinglds.org/managing-the-counseling-burden-as-an-lds-leader-an-interview-with-dr-paul-jenkins/ Mon, 08 May 2017 00:00:47 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=33101 Paul Jenkins is a positivity psychologist, author, and speaker. He has written three books, gives keynotes and trainings on positivity and related topics, produces a weekly podcast called Live On Purpose Radio, and sees individual clients at his office in a positive psychology counseling setting. He is also a former bishop (twice). In this episode, Paul gives advice from the perspective of a counselor to ecclesiastical leaders. Episode Summary 4:15 Men are that they might have joy—positive psychology 7:20 Approach to depression 8:30 Helping members with addiction, as a bishop 13:50 Podcast—Live On Purpose 15:00 Labeling people instead of looking at them as a child of God 16:00 Serving multiple roles as a bishop/ecclesiastical leader 18:00 Take care of yourself first 20:00 Put competent people in positions of power and get out of their way 22:30 Practice receiving any information as a bishop as if it's the news report 26:45 Using members' talents in the ward as part of the bishop's storehouse 31:45 Enhancing communication between a bishop and a counselor 35:55 A bishop's role to help those with problems progress from appointment to appointment 38:00 What to do if the leader is taking more of the burden than the member 44:00 How do we live on purpose? Links: Pathological Positivity by Dr. Paul Jenkins Falling to Heaven, by James Ferrell Dr. Paul Jenkins Website Dr. Paul Jenkins Podcast Paul Jenkins is a positivity psychologist, author, and speaker. He has written three books, gives keynotes and trainings on positivity and related topics, produces a weekly podcast called Live On Purpose Radio, Live On Purpose Radio, and sees individual clients at his office in a positive psychology counseling setting. He is also a former bishop (twice). In this episode, Paul gives advice from the perspective of a counselor to ecclesiastical leaders.
Episode Summary
4:15 Men are that they might have joy—positive psychology
7:20 Approach to depression
8:30 Helping members with addiction, as a bishop
13:50 Podcast—Live On Purpose
15:00 Labeling people instead of looking at them as a child of God
16:00 Serving multiple roles as a bishop/ecclesiastical leader
18:00 Take care of yourself first
20:00 Put competent people in positions of power and get out of their way
22:30 Practice receiving any information as a bishop as if it's the news report
26:45 Using members' talents in the ward as part of the bishop's storehouse
31:45 Enhancing communication between a bishop and a counselor
35:55 A bishop's role to help those with problems progress from appointment to appointment
38:00 What to do if the leader is taking more of the burden than the member
44:00 How do we live on purpose?
Links:
Pathological Positivity by Dr. Paul Jenkins

Falling to Heaven, by James Ferrell

Dr. Paul Jenkins Website

Dr. Paul Jenkins Podcast]]>
LeadingLDS clean 47:25
How I Lead a Stake of Zion in Ireland | An Interview With Pres. Mark Coffey https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-a-stake-of-zion-in-ireland-an-interview-with-pres-mark-coffey/ Mon, 01 May 2017 22:35:18 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=33348 Mark Coffey was raised in an LDS family on the coast of southern Ireland, and has lived in Dublin, Ireland, since he was 12 years old. He works as an IT Manager. Mark met his spouse as a teenager and they have been married 22 years. He was a missionary in the Canada, Winnipeg mission, has served in many ward callings including as a bishop, and is now part of a stake presidency. Episode Highlights How his call in the stake presidency came about (16:15) Transition from being Bishop to being a counselor in the stake presidency (18:30) Helped to have been a bishop and know what he needed from his counselors Different characteristics of the Church in Ireland (19:45) Missionary work is at the top of their minds all the time A lot of non-national members and recent converts, making it very multicultural Meeting approaches as a bishopric and stake presidency (22:45) Temple recommend interviews (25:20) Home and Visiting Teaching approaches for spread-out units (26:20) Five Leadership Principles Have a clear view of God’s vision for you and your calling (27:15) Home teaching example: Channel your inner President Monson Learn the difference between the traditions and the doctrine in the principles of your calling (32:15) Find out the core of what you’re trying to do, don’t cut out the things that work, but cut out the unnecessary Enable those around you to see and achieve their potential (36:10) Give direction and allow others to run with it Embrace change: This is God’s work and he will change you to make you fit for purpose (38:20) Look for criticism “Leadership in the Church is not about directing others but your willingness to be directed by God.”—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (40:00) Be in tune and find a way to make sure you’re doing what the Lord wants you to do How has serving as a leader made you a better disciple of Christ? (42:10) Links: Good, Better, Best by Elder Dallin H. Oaks This Week in Mormons Tie Tracker Mark Coffey was raised in an LDS family on the coast of southern Ireland, and has lived in Dublin, Ireland, since he was 12 years old. He works as an IT Manager. Mark met his spouse as a teenager and they have been married 22 years. Episode Highlights

* How his call in the stake presidency came about (16:15)
* Transition from being Bishop to being a counselor in the stake presidency (18:30)
* Helped to have been a bishop and know what he needed from his counselors
* Different characteristics of the Church in Ireland (19:45)
* Missionary work is at the top of their minds all the time
* A lot of non-national members and recent converts, making it very multicultural
* Meeting approaches as a bishopric and stake presidency (22:45)
* Temple recommend interviews (25:20)
* Home and Visiting Teaching approaches for spread-out units (26:20)

Five Leadership Principles

Have a clear view of God’s vision for you and your calling (27:15)

Home teaching example: Channel your inner President Monson


Learn the difference between the traditions and the doctrine in the principles of your calling (32:15)

Find out the core of what you’re trying to do, don’t cut out the things that work, but cut out the unnecessary


Enable those around you to see and achieve their potential (36:10)

Give direction and allow others to run with it


Embrace change: This is God’s work and he will change you to make you fit for purpose (38:20)

Look for criticism


“Leadership in the Church is not about directing others but your willingness to be directed by God.”—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (40:00)

Be in tune and find a way to make sure you’re doing what the Lord wants you to do



How has serving as a leader made you a better disciple of Christ? (42:10)
Links:
Good, Better, Best by Elder Dallin H. Oaks

This Week in Mormons Tie Tracker]]>
LeadingLDS clean 42:54
Gold Medal Leadership | Guest post by Jeremy C. Holm https://leadinglds.org/gold-medal-leadership-guest-post-by-jeremy-c-holm/ Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:00:56 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=32285 Jeremy is a renowned keynote and motivational speaker and conducts leadership and teamwork seminars and lectures for corporations and groups across the map. He is also a sought-after presenter for firesides, school assemblies, public events, expos, and tradeshows. Jeremy served his mission in the San Pedro Sula, Honduras mission, currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is a member of the Willow Creek 1st Ward. Be sure to listen to the attached interview with Jeremy where he talks more about his leadership and coaching experience. Enter Jeremy... Leadership Under Fire On February 13, 1945, “I” Company from the U.S. Army’s 11th Airborne Division’s Third Battalion and “D” Company from Second Battalion were ordered to attack Mt. Bijang, a hill overlooking Manila, that allowed Japanese forces to shell the city. The battle lasted all day long with attacks and counter-attacks, and as D Company’s commanding officer, Steve Cavanaugh said, “The action was pretty bad up there…” In all the commotion of the battle, a lone figure crept up to Cavanaugh’s side, firing away with his M-1 Garand rifle when Japanese machine gun fire burst into their ranks and a voice cried out, “Steve, I’ve been hit!” Cavanaugh glanced over with concern that turned to surprise. “Carrico!” he shouted. “What are you doing up here?” The wounded paratrooper was my grandfather, 1st Lieutenant Andrew J. Carrico, III. Despite the pain he was in, Grandpa obediently responded to his CO, “I had to be with my men.” You see, Cavanaugh had ordered Grandpa to rest that day and to stay behind the fighting line since he had experienced front line combat for over a month. But Grandpa couldn’t do that. Why did Grandpa place himself in such danger? Why did he seek out those who were in such precarious circumstances on that South Pacific hillside? The purest answer that can be given is that he did it out of love. Champion Leaders You learn a lot of things when you’re coaching athletes who are hurtling themselves down icy tracks at over eighty miles an hour in fiberglass and metal rockets. You come to appreciate perspective and the wider viewpoint that comes from experience. You come to respect guidelines and safety measures even more when you are in charge of organizing and running a semi-experimental program. You learn that every athlete learns differently and comes to the table (I mean, ice) with their own mindsets and goals and emotional energies. When I was the head coach for the U.S. Adaptive Bobsled Team, I felt a kinship to my grandfather, who demonstrated such courage and compassion for his men and for the future of the free world. While I will never match his level of sacrifice and bravery, I wanted to honor his example as I sought to help develop some of the world’s first adaptive bobsled athletes. As I thought about the way he led his men, I could not help but think of the Savior and the way He leads. Indeed, His example is the ultimate case study on leadership and if we sincerely desire to make a difference in the lives of those around us, we would do well to study His life and follow His pattern. If we are but willing to do this, then we will be able to follow the invitation of President George Albert Smith who said, “It is your duty first of all to learn what the Lord wants and then by the power and strength of your holy priesthood to so magnify your calling in the presence of your fellows that the people will be glad to follow you” (The Church News, 7 Sept 1968, p.15.) To that end, here are three principles of what I call Gold Medal Leadership, which I have observed from the Savior’s life and teachings in the scriptures. 1. Know Who You Lead Whether you are a leader in combat, in business, in sports, or in a Sunday School classroom, understanding that those you lead are unique children of our Father in Heaven is key. Do you know what makes them tick? Do you know what their hopes and their dreams are? Jeremy is a renowned keynote and motivational speaker and conducts leadership and teamwork seminars and lectures for corporations and groups across the map. He is also a sought-after presenter for firesides, school assemblies, public events, expos, Jeremy served his mission in the San Pedro Sula, Honduras mission, currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is a member of the Willow Creek 1st Ward.

Be sure to listen to the attached interview with Jeremy where he talks more about his leadership and coaching experience.
Enter Jeremy...
Leadership Under Fire
On February 13, 1945, “I” Company from the U.S. Army’s 11th Airborne Division’s Third Battalion and “D” Company from Second Battalion were ordered to attack Mt. Bijang, a hill overlooking Manila, that allowed Japanese forces to shell the city. The battle lasted all day long with attacks and counter-attacks, and as D Company’s commanding officer, Steve Cavanaugh said, “The action was pretty bad up there…”

In all the commotion of the battle, a lone figure crept up to Cavanaugh’s side, firing away with his M-1 Garand rifle when Japanese machine gun fire burst into their ranks and a voice cried out, “Steve, I’ve been hit!”

Cavanaugh glanced over with concern that turned to surprise. “Carrico!” he shouted. “What are you doing up here?”

The wounded paratrooper was my grandfather, 1st Lieutenant Andrew J. Carrico, III. Despite the pain he was in, Grandpa obediently responded to his CO, “I had to be with my men.” You see, Cavanaugh had ordered Grandpa to rest that day and to stay behind the fighting line since he had experienced front line combat for over a month. But Grandpa couldn’t do that.

Why did Grandpa place himself in such danger? Why did he seek out those who were in such precarious circumstances on that South Pacific hillside?

The purest answer that can be given is that he did it out of love.
Champion Leaders
You learn a lot of things when you’re coaching athletes who are hurtling themselves down icy tracks at over eighty miles an hour in fiberglass and metal rockets. You come to appreciate perspective and the wider viewpoint that comes from experience. You come to respect guidelines and safety measures even more when you are in charge of organizing and running a semi-experimental program. You learn that every athlete learns differently and comes to the table (I mean, ice) with their own mindsets and goals and emotional energies.

When I was the head coach for the U.S. Adaptive Bobsled Team, I felt a kinship to my grandfather, who demonstrated such courage and compassion for his men and for the future of the free world. While I will never match his level of sacrifice and bravery, I wanted to honor his example as I sought to help develop some of the world’s first adaptive bobsled athletes. As I thought about the way he led his men, I could not help but think of the Savior and the way He leads. Indeed, His example is the ultimate case study on leadership and if we sincerely desire to make a difference in the lives of those around us, we would do well to study His life and follow His pattern.

If we are but willing to do this, then we will be able to follow the invitation of President George Albert Smith who said, “It is your duty first of all to learn what the Lord wants and then by the power and strength of your holy priesthood to so magnify your calling in the presence of your fellows that the people will be glad to follow you” (The Church News, 7 Sept 1968, p.15.)

To that end, here are three principles of what I call Gold Medal Leadership, which I have observed from the Savior’s life and teachings in the scriptures.
1. Know Who You Lead
Whether you are a leader in combat, in business, in sports, or in a Sunday School classroom,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 49:39
The Art of [Mormon] Manliness | An Interview With Brett McKay https://leadinglds.org/the-art-of-mormon-manliness-an-interview-with-brett-mckay/ Tue, 18 Apr 2017 15:59:20 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=32281 Brett McKay founded The Art Of Manliness in 2008 while he was attending law school. It has grown into one of the largest men’s magazines on the web. Brett has also published several books and eBooks. He also hosts the popular podcast, The Art of Manliness. These podcasts cover a wide variety of topics, all centered around helping men. Brett grew up in the LDS Church and served a mission in Tijuana, Mexico. He has served in many capacities in the Church including Sunday School President. He is currently serving as the elders quorum president in his ward. Brett, his wife Kate, and their two children reside in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Episode Summary & Highlights What I learned as Sunday School President (16:31) The importance of good teachers (16:50) Discuss with your bishop the importance of calling the best teachers (18:03) Model what good teaching looks like and encourage good class discussion (18:25) Why more women are attending church vs. men The gender disparity in church and why more women are actively attending vs. men (21:30) How dating behavior changes among men and women. See Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game (23:25) Millennial dating is affected by gender ratios (26:05) How men express their spirituality (29:54) Ward Council: The relationships between the people in the ward (33:45) Introverts and extro`verts express their spirituality differently (35:40) Ways the Elders Quorum can serve on Sunday (39:33) Train future leaders during Elders Quorum (41:16) Resources and Sites: The Art of Manliness website The Art of Manliness Facebook page Brett McKay’s Books and eBooks The Art Of Manliness Podcast Why Men Hate Going to Church, by David Murrow Manhood In The Making, by David Gilmore Date-onomics, by Jon Birger Brett McKay founded The Art Of Manliness in 2008 while he was attending law school. It has grown into one of the largest men’s magazines on the web. Brett has also published several books and eBooks. He also hosts the popular podcast, The Art Of Manliness in 2008 while he was attending law school. It has grown into one of the largest men’s magazines on the web. Brett has also published several books and eBooks. He also hosts the popular podcast, The Art of Manliness. These podcasts cover a wide variety of topics, all centered around helping men.

Brett grew up in the LDS Church and served a mission in Tijuana, Mexico. He has served in many capacities in the Church including Sunday School President. He is currently serving as the elders quorum president in his ward. Brett, his wife Kate, and their two children reside in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Episode Summary & Highlights
What I learned as Sunday School President (16:31)

* The importance of good teachers (16:50)
* Discuss with your bishop the importance of calling the best teachers (18:03)
* Model what good teaching looks like and encourage good class discussion (18:25)

Why more women are attending church vs. men

* The gender disparity in church and why more women are actively attending vs. men (21:30)
* How dating behavior changes among men and women. See Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game (23:25)
* Millennial dating is affected by gender ratios (26:05)
* How men express their spirituality (29:54)
* Ward Council: The relationships between the people in the ward (33:45)
* Introverts and extro`verts express their spirituality differently (35:40)
* Ways the Elders Quorum can serve on Sunday (39:33)
* Train future leaders during Elders Quorum (41:16)

Resources and Sites:
The Art of Manliness website
The Art of Manliness Facebook page
Brett McKay’s Books and eBooks
The Art Of Manliness Podcast
Why Men Hate Going to Church, by David Murrow
Manhood In The Making, by David Gilmore
Date-onomics, by Jon Birger]]>
LeadingLDS clean 47:28
Motivating the Minister – Podcast Preview https://leadinglds.org/motivating-the-minister-podcast-preview/ Mon, 17 Apr 2017 23:40:56 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=32327 Join Us Starting April 22, 2017 I wanted to invite all the podcast listeners to join me starting this Saturday, April 22, for the free session of the Motivating the Minister Virtual Summit. We are all leaders, but do we know how to motivate? At LeadingLDS the number one question we receive from elders quorum presidents, relief society presidents, or any leader called to serve is, how can I motivate those I lead? They won’t home teach, they won’t do family history, they won’t share the gospel, they won’t even bake a casserole for the sick neighbor down the street. How can leaders motivate those they lead to accomplish the goals that are set before us? Thank goodness this big question is being answered during a virtual online summit called, Motivating the Minister: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Home/Visiting Teachers. LeadingLDS has gathered some of the sharpest mind on motivation: Brad Wilcox, Paul Gustavson, DeAnna Murphy, Scott Newman, Steve Shallenberger, and more. Over 8 hours of content! These leadership experts will all instruct us on building the skillset to be leaders that motivate. Join us starting April 22 when the keynote session will be free for 7 days. To attend you need to visit LeadingLDS.org and put your name on the list. Let’s start a journey together to become leaders that can motivate! Click HERE for details. Join Us Starting April 22, 2017 I wanted to invite all the podcast listeners to join me starting this Saturday, April 22, for the free session of the Motivating the Minister Virtual Summit. - We are all leaders, but do we know how to motivate? I wanted to invite all the podcast listeners to join me starting this Saturday, April 22, for the free session of the Motivating the Minister Virtual Summit.

We are all leaders, but do we know how to motivate? At LeadingLDS the number one question we receive from elders quorum presidents, relief society presidents, or any leader called to serve is, how can I motivate those I lead? They won’t home teach, they won’t do family history, they won’t share the gospel, they won’t even bake a casserole for the sick neighbor down the street. How can leaders motivate those they lead to accomplish the goals that are set before us?

Thank goodness this big question is being answered during a virtual online summit called, Motivating the Minister: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Home/Visiting Teachers. LeadingLDS has gathered some of the sharpest mind on motivation: Brad Wilcox, Paul Gustavson, DeAnna Murphy, Scott Newman, Steve Shallenberger, and more. Over 8 hours of content! These leadership experts will all instruct us on building the skillset to be leaders that motivate. Join us starting April 22 when the keynote session will be free for 7 days. To attend you need to visit LeadingLDS.org and put your name on the list. Let’s start a journey together to become leaders that can motivate!

Click HERE for details.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 9:09
How to Help Future Missionaries Serve Strong But Stay Sane | An Interview With Gary Taylor https://leadinglds.org/how-to-help-future-missionaries-serve-strong-but-stay-sane-an-interview-with-gary-taylor/ Tue, 11 Apr 2017 17:18:39 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=32193 Born in Southern Idaho and now living in Hurricane, Utah, Dr. Gary Taylor spent his career of more than 40 years working as a clinical psychologist. Now retired, he and his wife have served two senior missions, first in Europe and most recently in the South Pacific. Working with mission presidents and missionaries to offer mental health advice and assistance, Brother Taylor began to see patterns emerge of the common struggles that missionaries have. The experiences have become the basis for his book, Serve Strong and Stay Sane: 10 Mistakes that will Ruin Your Mission and Your Life. Brother Taylor continues to learn new things in his work with missionaries, emphasizing that as he would work with them he could feel the love and concern that Heavenly Father has for them. He also emphasizes that while the transition from teenager to missionary can be a difficult one, the struggles experienced may not always be mental illness-related, but rather the normal added stress that comes with being a missionary. For some missionaries this can be an unexpected and difficult process to deal with. In this episode, Brother Taylor discusses a number of common mistakes and offers prospective missionaries, parents, and leaders tips and counsel as they prepare for—or assist others in preparing for—effective missionary service. Episode Highlights Many of the tools that are generally recommended to those suffering stress and anxiety (i.e. going for a run, reading a novel, talking to a friend) are not available to missionaries. Other methods must be utilized. (10:00) Tips and counsel for leaders meeting with prospective missionaries - become familiar with the 10 common reasons why missionaries struggle (12:00) Having unrealistic expectations (13:00) Mission service isn’t going to necessarily solve any existing personal problem(s) – in many cases it actually makes them more difficult to solve Expecting it to be a non-stop spiritual experience With enough faith and effort baptisms will happen (if that is the measure of success, as defined by the missionary) Be more prepared for an “Aaron experience” rather than an “Ammon experience” Failing to see the big picture – why they’re there and what it's really all about (19:00) Bishops and Stake Presidents can help prospective missionaries to set realistic expectations Help them be able to answer the questions “When things aren’t working out, how can I stay motivated to do the right thing?” and “What are the reasons to be here when it doesn’t look like anything productive is happening?” Worrying about things that are beyond the missionary’s control (23:45) Mission related things Things happening back home Have prospective missionaries inventory their worries (write them down), then take each one and ask, “Is this something I can control?” If not, then decide not to worry about it. If it is, then I need to come up with a plan to do what I can to resolve the worry or concern. Sometimes it's unclear if the worry is beyond control or not. Parents and leaders can be a resource to go to to understand if there is something I can do to overcome it. ADD (Awareness, Decision, Distraction) technique: When we are aware of a thought, worry, temptation, etc, we make a decision to not go there and then immediately distract ourselves away from the thought that is causing the anxiety Be wary in thinking and speaking in absolutes, or “all or none” thinking (29:30) Avoiding thinking in terms of “have to” (versus “want to”) Sets ourselves up for stress and anxiety if the “have to” does not come to pass Listen for that type of thinking and reframe it to something positive that motivates us to act Going overboard with “good things” to the point where they cause stress and/or illness (34:45) Counsel not just for missionaries, but for others as well (including as we serve in leadership roles in the church) Born in Southern Idaho and now living in Hurricane, Utah, Dr. Gary Taylor spent his career of more than 40 years working as a clinical psychologist. Now retired, he and his wife have served two senior missions,
Brother Taylor continues to learn new things in his work with missionaries, emphasizing that as he would work with them he could feel the love and concern that Heavenly Father has for them. He also emphasizes that while the transition from teenager to missionary can be a difficult one, the struggles experienced may not always be mental illness-related, but rather the normal added stress that comes with being a missionary. For some missionaries this can be an unexpected and difficult process to deal with. In this episode, Brother Taylor discusses a number of common mistakes and offers prospective missionaries, parents, and leaders tips and counsel as they prepare for—or assist others in preparing for—effective missionary service.
Episode Highlights

* Many of the tools that are generally recommended to those suffering stress and anxiety (i.e. going for a run, reading a novel, talking to a friend) are not available to missionaries. Other methods must be utilized. (10:00)
* Tips and counsel for leaders meeting with prospective missionaries - become familiar with the 10 common reasons why missionaries struggle (12:00)

* Having unrealistic expectations (13:00)

* Mission service isn’t going to necessarily solve any existing personal problem(s) – in many cases it actually makes them more difficult to solve
* Expecting it to be a non-stop spiritual experience
* With enough faith and effort baptisms will happen (if that is the measure of success, as defined by the missionary)
* Be more prepared for an “Aaron experience” rather than an “Ammon experience”


* Failing to see the big picture – why they’re there and what it's really all about (19:00)

* Bishops and Stake Presidents can help prospective missionaries to set realistic expectations
* Help them be able to answer the questions “When things aren’t working out, how can I stay motivated to do the right thing?” and “What are the reasons to be here when it doesn’t look like anything productive is happening?”


* Worrying about things that are beyond the missionary’s control (23:45)

* Mission related things
* Things happening back home
* Have prospective missionaries inventory their worries (write them down), then take each one and ask, “Is this something I can control?” If not, then decide not to worry about it. If it is, then I need to come up with a plan to do what I can to resolve the worry or concern.

* Sometimes it's unclear if the worry is beyond control or not. Parents and leaders can be a resource to go to to understand if there is something I can do to overcome it.
* ADD (Awareness, Decision, Distraction) technique: When we are aware of a thought, worry, temptation, etc, we make a decision to not go there and then immediately distract ourselves away from the thought that is causing the anxiety




* Be wary in thinking and speaking in absolutes, or “all or none” thinking (29:30)

* Avoiding thinking in terms of “have to” (versus “want to”)

* Sets ourselves up for stress and anxiety if the “have to” does not come to pass
* Listen for that type of thinking and reframe it to something ...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 54:27
How This Professional Entertainer Can Help Improve Your Next High Council Talk | An Interview With Jason Hewlett https://leadinglds.org/how-this-professional-entertainer-can-help-improve-your-next-high-council-talk-an-interview-with-jason-hewlett/ Tue, 04 Apr 2017 13:00:34 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=32061 Jason Hewlett was born in Park City, UT and now lives in Daybreak, UT. He is a former convention performer and now spends his time as a professional keynote speaker for corporate events as well as speaking at youth fireside and mentoring other entertainers. In this episode Jason shares his journey with us from being bullied in priest quorum to having his mission president call him out the second he stepped of the plane to performing in every casino in Las Vegas. Jason share best practices for public speaking that apply to speaking in church or teaching a class. Episode Highlights: 5:33 Childhood/youth 7:00 Getting bullied in priest quorum and why he kept coming back. 10:40 What is your advice to leaders regarding bullying at church? 11:33 Full time missionary service 22:19 When and how did you decide to become an entertainer? 28:00 How did you get involved in mentoring entertainers? 30:27 Tell us about the book you authored. 38:30 How do you prepare to speak at these corporate events? 42:00 Why set a goal when you can make a promise? 47:23 What advice would you give to a leader who has 10 minutes to fill at the end of a meeting? 56:45 How do people contact you for a youth fireside? 58:20 How has being a presenter made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM4wKKr-eqM Links: Jason Hewlett's Website Jason's Youtube Channel Hank Smith Jason Hewlett was born in Park City, UT and now lives in Daybreak, UT. He is a former convention performer and now spends his time as a professional keynote speaker for corporate events as well as speaking at youth fireside and mentoring other entertai...
In this episode Jason shares his journey with us from being bullied in priest quorum to having his mission president call him out the second he stepped of the plane to performing in every casino in Las Vegas.

Jason share best practices for public speaking that apply to speaking in church or teaching a class.
Episode Highlights:

* 5:33 Childhood/youth
* 7:00 Getting bullied in priest quorum and why he kept coming back.
* 10:40 What is your advice to leaders regarding bullying at church?
* 11:33 Full time missionary service
* 22:19 When and how did you decide to become an entertainer?
* 28:00 How did you get involved in mentoring entertainers?
* 30:27 Tell us about the book you authored.
* 38:30 How do you prepare to speak at these corporate events?
* 42:00 Why set a goal when you can make a promise?
* 47:23 What advice would you give to a leader who has 10 minutes to fill at the end of a meeting?
* 56:45 How do people contact you for a youth fireside?
* 58:20 How has being a presenter made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM4wKKr-eqM
Links:
Jason Hewlett's Website

Jason's Youtube Channel

Hank Smith]]>
LeadingLDS clean 60:35
How I Lead With 20 People in Sacrament Meeting | An Interview With Jeff Schooler https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-with-20-people-in-sacrament-meeting-an-interview-with-jeff-schooler/ Sat, 25 Mar 2017 12:39:25 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31956 Jeff Schooler is a Branch President of the Lake Region Branch in Devils Lake North Dakota. In this episode he tells about his conversion story and sheds some light on what it’s like to be the president of a small LDS branch with large geographic boundaries. Episode Highlights Jeff tells his conversion/reactivation story 6:00 Expanding on how easy it is to fall into inactivity 9:14 Most famous Mormon Jeff has ever met 10:25 First General Conference talk that comes to mind 11:00 If asked to speak in General Conference, what would the talk topic be? 11:14 What makes Jeff a unique Mormon 11:55 Callings that he has served in 12:28 Which past Branch Presidents do you resemble? 12:23 Story of how he was called to be the Branch President 14:28 Challenges of serving as the Branch President in such a small unit 16:25 LDS Video (Personal Video Conferencing) 17:47 A typical Sunday in the life of a Branch President 19:50 Are you as a leader ever worried about the Branch being dissolved? 24:10 Supporting members who struggle to balance their families needs vs Branch needs. 25:16 Home & visiting teaching solutions with letters, email & video conferencing. 12:26 Loving those you lead 29:30 Follow the Spirit, make a phone call at anytime 30:25 Speaking assignments & 5 minute talk 31:44 Transferring from two blocks to three 32:45 Give the benefit of the doubt, everyone is doing the best that they know how. 34:10 Read, read, read! 36:44 A favorite book: Hearing the Voice of the Lord 37:47 Jeff Schooler is a Branch President of the Lake Region Branch in Devils Lake North Dakota. In this episode he tells about his conversion story and sheds some light on what it’s like to be the president of a small LDS branch with large geographic bounda... Episode Highlights

* Jeff tells his conversion/reactivation story 6:00
* Expanding on how easy it is to fall into inactivity 9:14
* Most famous Mormon Jeff has ever met 10:25
* First General Conference talk that comes to mind 11:00
* If asked to speak in General Conference, what would the talk topic be? 11:14
* What makes Jeff a unique Mormon 11:55
* Callings that he has served in 12:28
* Which past Branch Presidents do you resemble? 12:23
* Story of how he was called to be the Branch President 14:28
* Challenges of serving as the Branch President in such a small unit 16:25
* LDS Video (Personal Video Conferencing) 17:47
* A typical Sunday in the life of a Branch President 19:50
* Are you as a leader ever worried about the Branch being dissolved? 24:10
* Supporting members who struggle to balance their families needs vs Branch needs. 25:16
* Home & visiting teaching solutions with letters, email & video conferencing. 12:26
* Loving those you lead 29:30
* Follow the Spirit, make a phone call at anytime 30:25
* Speaking assignments & 5 minute talk 31:44
* Transferring from two blocks to three 32:45
* Give the benefit of the doubt, everyone is doing the best that they know how. 34:10
* Read, read, read! 36:44
* A favorite book: Hearing the Voice of the Lord 37:47
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 43:38
An Open Letter to Bishops From a Wife of a Porn Addict https://leadinglds.org/open-letter-to-the-bishop-from-wife-of-porn-addict/ Wed, 22 Mar 2017 18:21:01 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31713 Sara Walker currently lives in Amity, Oregon. She served in the Chicago Illinois North mission, met her husband at BYU-Idaho, and has a been striving to improve her marriage and help her husband overcome his addiction to pornography. Enter Sara... Dear Bishop, Thank you for your service as a bishop in the Church. I believe you were called of God to your calling for such a time as this. We need people who are willing to be on the front lines in the battle for families and individuals against sexual addiction. I am hoping to give you some insight into what women with husbands involved in sexual addiction (SA) need from you as an ecclesiastical leader. I have talked with many women who are dealing with this in their lives, and their stories are varied and poignant. All the women who shared their insight did so knowing that I would be submitting this to you. Out of respect for them and the battles they continue to fight, I won't use names or specific details. The feelings and thoughts expressed in this letter are my own, although not every item listed has been applicable to me and my situation. It is my hope that you will use this letter—as well as the spirit of discernment—when counseling with individuals and couples, as each situation is somewhat unique. There are, however, a number of similarities between them as well. I will be attempting to address those. I feel like it's important to begin this by sharing with you some attitudes and attributes of the addict. Many of those who come to you with SA will be men—although not exclusively. Therefore, I will use the term addict and husband interchangeably. When a man comes to you admitting he has looked at pornography, please consider the following: Most men do not fully confess everything the first time, or the second, or the third… They may say they don’t have an addiction, that it was just a here-and-there problem. They have likely struggled for years, and are only coming to you because they got caught. They have lied to themselves and to their spouse for so long that they believe many of their own lies. They are so programmed to hide everything that it usually takes a “hitting rock bottom” moment before full confession happens, and sometimes not even then. Often there are things like masturbation and infidelity that they are not talking about. As a bishop, please consider asking the difficult questions. Be specific. Ask: Do you masturbate? Have you had virtual relationships or physical relationships? Do you go to strip clubs or porn shops? How often? For how long? Do you use your phone or tablet? Do you call hotlines? And so forth. They do not need to be graphic in the details of what they do, but they do need to be accountable. Many of these men have a distorted sense of time. They will say the last time they looked was a few months/weeks ago. In reality, it was likely sooner and for longer than they would admit. They are most likely in something referred to as “addict brain” or “addict mode.” Unless they have been actively working at recovery, they are in addict brain. It gives them a distorted sense of reality. (For more in-depth discussion of addict brain, see the book, Like Dragons Did They Fight.) Dealing with someone who lives much of their life in addict brain is difficult. When we—the women dealing with this—come to you for help, we often have no one else to turn to. Begin to educate yourself about the nuances of SA. Each of the below items is just a brief overview; this is meant as a starting point and not a comprehensive document. Please consider the following as you seek guidance in counseling us: 1. Do not imply or flat out say that if we would give our spouse more time sexually he wouldn’t have this problem This is probably the number one source of depression, frustration and abandonment women feel from ecclesiastical leaders. This is the quickest way to alienate the wife. Women will immediately throw up a wall when a prie... Sara Walker currently lives in Amity, Oregon. She served in the Chicago Illinois North mission, met her husband at BYU-Idaho, and has a been striving to improve her marriage and help her husband overcome his addiction to pornography. - Enter Sara...
Enter Sara...
Dear Bishop,
Thank you for your service as a bishop in the Church. I believe you were called of God to your calling for such a time as this. We need people who are willing to be on the front lines in the battle for families and individuals against sexual addiction. I am hoping to give you some insight into what women with husbands involved in sexual addiction (SA) need from you as an ecclesiastical leader. I have talked with many women who are dealing with this in their lives, and their stories are varied and poignant. All the women who shared their insight did so knowing that I would be submitting this to you. Out of respect for them and the battles they continue to fight, I won't use names or specific details.

The feelings and thoughts expressed in this letter are my own, although not every item listed has been applicable to me and my situation. It is my hope that you will use this letter—as well as the spirit of discernment—when counseling with individuals and couples, as each situation is somewhat unique. There are, however, a number of similarities between them as well. I will be attempting to address those.

I feel like it's important to begin this by sharing with you some attitudes and attributes of the addict. Many of those who come to you with SA will be men—although not exclusively. Therefore, I will use the term addict and husband interchangeably. When a man comes to you admitting he has looked at pornography, please consider the following:

* Most men do not fully confess everything the first time, or the second, or the third…
* They may say they don’t have an addiction, that it was just a here-and-there problem.
* They have likely struggled for years, and are only coming to you because they got caught.
* They have lied to themselves and to their spouse for so long that they believe many of their own lies.
* They are so programmed to hide everything that it usually takes a “hitting rock bottom” moment before full confession happens, and sometimes not even then.
* Often there are things like masturbation and infidelity that they are not talking about.

As a bishop, please consider asking the difficult questions. Be specific. Ask: Do you masturbate? Have you had virtual relationships or physical relationships? Do you go to strip clubs or porn shops? How often? For how long? Do you use your phone or tablet? Do you call hotlines? And so forth. They do not need to be graphic in the details of what they do, but they do need to be accountable. Many of these men have a distorted sense of time. They will say the last time they looked was a few months/weeks ago. In reality, it was likely sooner and for longer than they would admit. They are most likely in something referred to as “addict brain” or “addict mode.” Unless they have been actively working at recovery, they are in addict brain. It gives them a distorted sense of reality. (For more in-depth discussion of addict brain, see the book, Like Dragons Did They Fight.)

Dealing with someone who lives much of their life in addict brain is difficult. When we—the women dealing with this—come to you for help, we often have no one else to turn to. Begin to educate yourself about the nuances of SA. Each of the below items is just a brief overview; this is meant as a starting point and not a comprehensive document. Please consider the following as you seek guidance in counseling us:
1. Do not imply or flat out say that if we would give our spouse more time sexually he wouldn’t have this problem
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 71:22
How LaVell Edwards Influenced His Team to be a Team of Leaders | An Interview With Paul Gustavson https://leadinglds.org/how-lavell-edwards-influenced-his-team-to-be-a-team-of-leaders-an-interview-with-paul-gustavson/ Thu, 16 Mar 2017 14:50:24 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31857 Paul Gustavson studied Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University, where he was on Coach Lavell Edwards’ first football team at the school. Today he is president of the consulting firm Organization Planning and Design. He has authored two books about team building and leadership—including one with Coach Bronco Mendenhall: Running into the Wind: 5 Strategies for Building a Successful Team, and A Team of Leaders: Empowering Every Member to Take Ownership, Demonstrate Initiative, and Deliver Results. After the passing of Coach Edwards last year, Paul wrote an article for the Deseret News, “Three Key Leadership Qualities Lavell Edwards Exhibited Early On as Head Coach That Could Benefit Any Leader.” He has also served as a bishop of a young single adult ward. Episode Highlights 5:00 His history playing football, serving a mission, and attending/working with BYU 8:36 How the article about Coach Edwards came about 9:29 Interviewed Coach Edwards about things he had witnessed as a player 10:00 Being a bishop had an enormous influence on Coach Edwards and his coaching 12:34 He was always clear about the strategy 13:45 He was a principle-based coach 15:23 Coach Bronco Mendenhall was humble and willing to learn the principles of team-building 17:00 Referred him to the article, “What is Strategy?” by Michael Porter, HBR 19:06 Choosing “team members” inside a ward 22:00 Why/how Paul got involved in team building in college 23:50 Five smooth stones: strategy, processes, design, knowledge, capturing hearts and minds 26:39 Application of these principles as a bishop 28:26 Managing by councils: Five stages 31:35 Having a framework helps 33:20 Excellence comes through performance models and repeating best practices 36:40 Steps to reach stage five in ward leadership 37:52 How it happened with home/visiting teaching 41:50 Shared stories of how they were blessed or blessed others as home/visiting teachers 43:18 Ward theme: “We care for and bless one another”; D&C 82:10 44:30 What leaders talk about is what people do 46:14 Where his books and research are available 47:38 Discipleship and team leadership: engaging people to take action and become more Christlike Links: Organization Planning and Design A Team of Leaders Website Running into the Wind: 5 Strategies for Building a Successful Team A Team of Leaders: Empowering Every Member to Take Ownership, Demonstrate Initiative, and Deliver Results “Three Key Leadership Qualities Lavell Edwards Exhibited Early On as Head Coach That Could Benefit Any Leader,” Deseret News “What is Strategy?” by Michael Porter, Harvard Business Review Paul Gustavson studied Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University, where he was on Coach Lavell Edwards’ first football team at the school. Today he is president of the consulting firm Organization Planning and Design. Organization Planning and Design. He has authored two books about team building and leadership—including one with Coach Bronco Mendenhall: Running into the Wind: 5 Strategies for Building a Successful Team, and A Team of Leaders: Empowering Every Member to Take Ownership, Demonstrate Initiative, and Deliver Results. After the passing of Coach Edwards last year, Paul wrote an article for the Deseret News, “Three Key Leadership Qualities Lavell Edwards Exhibited Early On as Head Coach That Could Benefit Any Leader.” He has also served as a bishop of a young single adult ward.
Episode Highlights

* 5:00 His history playing football, serving a mission, and attending/working with BYU
* 8:36 How the article about Coach Edwards came about
* 9:29 Interviewed Coach Edwards about things he had witnessed as a player
* 10:00 Being a bishop had an enormous influence on Coach Edwards and his coaching
* 12:34 He was always clear about the strategy
* 13:45 He was a principle-based coach
* 15:23 Coach Bronco Mendenhall was humble and willing to learn the principles of team-building
* 17:00 Referred him to the article, “What is Strategy?” by Michael Porter, HBR
* 19:06 Choosing “team members” inside a ward
* 22:00 Why/how Paul got involved in team building in college
* 23:50 Five smooth stones: strategy, processes, design, knowledge, capturing hearts and minds
* 26:39 Application of these principles as a bishop
* 28:26 Managing by councils: Five stages
* 31:35 Having a framework helps
* 33:20 Excellence comes through performance models and repeating best practices
* 36:40 Steps to reach stage five in ward leadership
* 37:52 How it happened with home/visiting teaching
* 41:50 Shared stories of how they were blessed or blessed others as home/visiting teachers
* 43:18 Ward theme: “We care for and bless one another”; D&C 82:10
* 44:30 What leaders talk about is what people do
* 46:14 Where his books and research are available
* 47:38 Discipleship and team leadership: engaging people to take action and become more Christlike

Links:
Organization Planning and Design

A Team of Leaders Website

Running into the Wind: 5 Strategies for Building a Successful Team

A Team of Leaders: Empowering Every Member to Take Ownership, Demonstrate Initiative, and Deliver Results

“Three Key Leadership Qualities Lavell Edwards Exhibited Early On as Head Coach That Could Benefit Any Leader,” Deseret News

“What is Strategy?” by Michael Porter, Harvard Business Review]]>
LeadingLDS clean 51:32
Being Myself While Being Bishop | How I Lead: GR Gordon-Ross https://leadinglds.org/being-myself-while-being-bishop-how-i-lead-gr-gordon-ross/ Sat, 11 Mar 2017 19:23:11 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31791 GR Gordon-Ross served as bishop for 6 years in Lawrence, Kansas. He was raised in Kearney, Missouri and was converted to the Church in 1994 because of his influence from a childhood friend. He served a mission in Russia and later married his wife whom he met at LDS Institute. He is self-described as a non-orthodox bishop which he credits to much of his success. Leadership Principles The Power of Delegation (32:13) Allow those you call to exercise their own leadership talents How to help auxillairy leaders to exercise autonomy in their callings (34:23) Setting Expectations (37:33) Leadership requires personal sacrifice (39:40) You cannot come together as a cohesive unit if there is a belief or view that one person does all the work Willingness to Serve (42:00) Arrive early and be willing to stay late to clean up after every church activity Be a leader and not a calling (45:30) Listen (45:53) Make sure that all opinions in a council setting are heard and valued Be Yourself and Don’t Be Afraid to Adapt to Local Needs (49:10) Be yourself, be human, don’t be afraid to make mistakes Links: Making Right Choices, by Elder Richard G. Scott GR Gordon-Ross served as bishop for 6 years in Lawrence, Kansas. He was raised in Kearney, Missouri and was converted to the Church in 1994 because of his influence from a childhood friend. He served a mission in Russia and later married his wife whom ... Leadership Principles

* The Power of Delegation (32:13)

* Allow those you call to exercise their own leadership talents
* How to help auxillairy leaders to exercise autonomy in their callings (34:23)


* Setting Expectations (37:33)

* Leadership requires personal sacrifice (39:40)
* You cannot come together as a cohesive unit if there is a belief or view that one person does all the work


* Willingness to Serve (42:00)

* Arrive early and be willing to stay late to clean up after every church activity
* Be a leader and not a calling (45:30)


* Listen (45:53)

* Make sure that all opinions in a council setting are heard and valued


* Be Yourself and Don’t Be Afraid to Adapt to Local Needs (49:10)

* Be yourself, be human, don’t be afraid to make mistakes



Links:
Making Right Choices, by Elder Richard G. Scott]]>
LeadingLDS clean 61:14
Friends of Scouting Best Practices | An Interview With Mark Francis of LDS-BSA https://leadinglds.org/friends-of-scouting-best-practices-an-interview-with-mark-francis-of-lds-bsa/ Tue, 07 Mar 2017 14:00:18 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31708 Mark Francis is the Director of LDS BSA Relationships, where he has worked for the past 5 years. He also serves on the High Council in his stake, where he is responsible for working with the Young Men and assists in all things Scouting. Mark was previously interviewed on LeadingLDS in January, 2015. Mark’s position with the Boy Scouts of America has its roots in President David O. McKay’s request to the BSA that an employee be based in Salt Lake City and work with the Church. Episode Summary & Highlights: How is Scouting the activity arm of the Priesthood? Why do we do varsity and venturing? (10:32) “Activity arm of the Priesthood” is no longer in any handbook There are other activities, not just Scouting Varsity (Teachers Quorum) and Venturing (Priests Quorum) allow the boys to take over as the leaders Five Fields of Emphasis High Adventure/Sports Service Personal Development Advancement Special Programs & Events Varsity & Venturing is where shadow leadership really comes to life Funding channels (19:10) These are sacred funds and we need to be wise stewards. Handbook 2 directs funding for activities (8.13.7) as follows: From ward budget If ward budget insufficient, we can ask particpants to pay for part or all Fundraising Much too often we start with fundraising Scouting Handbook Is Committee Chair a separate calling from Primary President? (22:10) See Scouting Handbook section 4.3 Tips for maintaining continuity of records with consistent changes in leadership (24:50) See Scouting Handbook sections 3.1, 4.1 and 4.3 Who are members of the committees? Fathers and mothers - he recommends at least one parent of each scout be on the committee Those of other faiths A member of the bishopric See Scouting Handbook section 4.3 If you have a functioning committee that is aware of what the boys want to do, the parents know since they are members of the committee. Managing advancements, service projects, campouts, etc.? (30:00) ScoutBook Commissioner Tools Available via the my.Scouting portal. Online applications are coming! Friends of Scouting (35:50) When: each council choosing when to do it (the majority of councils in the U.S. do this during the springtime) Goals (36:43) are established through LDS-BSA Relationships Committee working with the Council Many Councils now changing approach to invite all households to participate How: Take it to the Ward Council and discuss Funds raised stay within the local Council Council Executive Board determine how to distribute funds--salaries, camps, training, etc. If you feel frustrated, speak with your priesthood leader (51:30) Mark related that President Owen, Young Men General President, has identified the following three priorities: We need to be with the boys Connect the boys to heaven Let the boys lead Links: Aaronic Priesthood LDS-BSA Relationships Scouting Handbook ScoutBook Commissioner Tools Mark Francis is the Director of LDS BSA Relationships, where he has worked for the past 5 years. He also serves on the High Council in his stake, where he is responsible for working with the Young Men and assists in all things Scouting. LDS BSA Relationships, where he has worked for the past 5 years. He also serves on the High Council in his stake, where he is responsible for working with the Young Men and assists in all things Scouting. Mark was previously interviewed on LeadingLDS in January, 2015. Mark’s position with the Boy Scouts of America has its roots in President David O. McKay’s request to the BSA that an employee be based in Salt Lake City and work with the Church.
Episode Summary & Highlights:
How is Scouting the activity arm of the Priesthood? Why do we do varsity and venturing? (10:32)

“Activity arm of the Priesthood” is no longer in any handbook


There are other activities, not just Scouting
Varsity (Teachers Quorum) and Venturing (Priests Quorum) allow the boys to take over as the leaders
Five Fields of Emphasis

High Adventure/Sports
Service
Personal Development
Advancement
Special Programs & Events


Varsity & Venturing is where shadow leadership really comes to life

Funding channels (19:10)

These are sacred funds and we need to be wise stewards.
Handbook 2 directs funding for activities (8.13.7) as follows:

From ward budget
If ward budget insufficient, we can ask particpants to pay for part or all
Fundraising




Much too often we start with fundraising


Scouting Handbook

Is Committee Chair a separate calling from Primary President? (22:10)

See Scouting Handbook section 4.3

Tips for maintaining continuity of records with consistent changes in leadership (24:50)

See Scouting Handbook sections 3.1, 4.1 and 4.3
Who are members of the committees?

Fathers and mothers - he recommends at least one parent of each scout be on the committee
Those of other faiths
A member of the bishopric


See Scouting Handbook section 4.3



If you have a functioning committee that is aware of what the boys want to do, the parents know since they are members of the committee.
Managing advancements, service projects, campouts, etc.? (30:00)

ScoutBook
Commissioner Tools

Available via the my.Scouting portal.


Online applications are coming!

Friends of Scouting (35:50)

When: each council choosing when to do it (the majority of councils in the U.S. do this during the springtime)
Goals (36:43) are established through LDS-BSA Relationships Committee working with the Council

Many Councils now changing approach to invite all households to participate


How: Take it to the Ward Council and discuss


Funds raised stay within the local Council


Council Executive Board determine how to distribute funds--salaries, camps, training, etc.

If you feel frustrated, speak with your priesthood leader (51:30)

Mark related that President Owen, Young Men General President,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 55:05
How I Lead as Mission President | An Interview with W. Durrell Nielsen https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-mission-president-an-interview-with-w-durrell-nielsen/ Sat, 04 Mar 2017 14:00:24 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31620 W. Durrell Nielsen served as a mission president of the Oklahoma Tulsa mission from 2003-2006.  He was born and raised in Brigham City Utah and currently resides in Bountiful Utah. As a young man he served a mission in Scotland and attended the University of Arizona where he received a Law degree.  He practiced law for the United States Treasury Department, for his own private law practice and also as estate planning lawyer.  He met his wife while attending college and has 5 kids and 12 grandchildren.  In this episode he shares his experiences as a mission president and ways to help guide and teach others as a leader. Episode Highlights 11:00 Experience being called as a bishop 13:20 Experience being called a mission president 14:45 Appointment with President Boyd K. Packer 17:45 Appointment with President James E. Faust 19:30 Mission call as president to Oklahoma Tulsa mission 21:00 Surprises as a newly called mission president 27:00 Unwritten Order of Things- talk by President Boyd K. Packer 27:30 Teaching zone and district leaders- teaching how to time talk 35:00 Follow the brethren- for example do they comment on talks at the end of General Conference? 36:00 Correct principles and governing self 40:30 Being a great shepherd- attending to the one 41:00 The key to attending to the one as a mission president 42:00 Demonstrating love is so important as a shepherd- know their names 47:30 Teaching the Doctrine 51:15 How to connect with former missionaries Links: Beware of Pride, by Ezra Taft Benson The Unwritten Order of Things, by Boyd K. Packer How to Remember Names W. Durrell Nielsen served as a mission president of the Oklahoma Tulsa mission from 2003-2006.  He was born and raised in Brigham City Utah and currently resides in Bountiful Utah. As a young man he served a mission in Scotland and attended the Univers... Episode Highlights
11:00 Experience being called as a bishop
13:20 Experience being called a mission president
14:45 Appointment with President Boyd K. Packer
17:45 Appointment with President James E. Faust
19:30 Mission call as president to Oklahoma Tulsa mission
21:00 Surprises as a newly called mission president
27:00 Unwritten Order of Things- talk by President Boyd K. Packer
27:30 Teaching zone and district leaders- teaching how to time talk
35:00 Follow the brethren- for example do they comment on talks at the end of General Conference?
36:00 Correct principles and governing self
40:30 Being a great shepherd- attending to the one
41:00 The key to attending to the one as a mission president
42:00 Demonstrating love is so important as a shepherd- know their names
47:30 Teaching the Doctrine


51:15 How to connect with former missionaries
Links:
Beware of Pride, by Ezra Taft Benson

The Unwritten Order of Things, by Boyd K. Packer

How to Remember Names

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 57:30
The Transformational Power of the Addiction Recovery Program | An Interview Scott Koenig https://leadinglds.org/the-transformational-power-of-the-addiction-recovery-program-an-interview-scott-koenig/ Tue, 28 Feb 2017 16:32:50 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31610 Scott Koenig of Arlington, TX was recently released as bishop after serving for over five years. He has a love and a testimony of the addiction recovery program. Upon his release he asked his stake president what he could do to help spread its inspired and healing message. Listen in as Scott tells us about his experiences with the addiction recovery program as a bishop and now as the co-chair of the program and his stake. (2:20) Getting to know Scott (4:15) What lessons did you learn while serving as a bishop? (6:00) Getting involved with the addiction recovery program. (7:49) Kurt tells us about his first day as serving as a bishop. (8:24) What was your understanding of the addiction recovery program when you were first called as a Bishop? (10:25) Was pornography addiction the most common addiction you encountered as a bishop? (12:05) Inviting Ward Council members to help the bishop counsel addicts. (15:34) The keys to success with the addiction recovery program. (21:28) How does your stake structure it's addiction recovery program? (24:45) Implementing a successful youth addiction recovery program. (26:40) Kurt's first experience attending an ARP class. (28:13) Scott meets with and introduces the Bishops of his stake to the ARP. (30:50) Scott shares a sacred experience… The importance of family and spousal support. (39:57) How did serving as a bishop transform you? Links: LDS Addiction Recovery Program Scott Koenig of Arlington, TX was recently released as bishop after serving for over five years. He has a love and a testimony of the addiction recovery program. Upon his release he asked his stake president what he could do to help spread its inspired...

(2:20) Getting to know Scott
(4:15) What lessons did you learn while serving as a bishop?
(6:00) Getting involved with the addiction recovery program.
(7:49) Kurt tells us about his first day as serving as a bishop.
(8:24) What was your understanding of the addiction recovery program when you were first called as a Bishop?
(10:25) Was pornography addiction the most common addiction you encountered as a bishop?
(12:05) Inviting Ward Council members to help the bishop counsel addicts.
(15:34) The keys to success with the addiction recovery program.
(21:28) How does your stake structure it's addiction recovery program?
(24:45) Implementing a successful youth addiction recovery program.
(26:40) Kurt's first experience attending an ARP class.
(28:13) Scott meets with and introduces the Bishops of his stake to the ARP.
(30:50) Scott shares a sacred experience… The importance of family and spousal support.
(39:57) How did serving as a bishop transform you?

Links:
LDS Addiction Recovery Program]]>
LeadingLDS clean 44:18
Reconciling My Faith and Same-Gender Attraction While I Lead https://leadinglds.org/reconciling-my-same-gender-attraction-while-i-lead/ Tue, 21 Feb 2017 14:30:26 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31568 Ryan lives in Wilsonville, Oregon, and is a graphic designer/art director, designing big-screen graphics and animations for conferences and events. He and his wife moved to Oregon twelve years ago from the San Francisco Bay area, where he grew up. He served in the Rochester, New York mission and has since served as a ward mission leader, Elder's Quorum president, ward executive secretary, and most recently on his stake high council. Ryan is also involved with North Star, a resource for Latter-day Saints addressing sexual orientation and gender identity. In this podcast interview, he speaks about experiencing same-gender attraction and opening up to his wife and stake president. Episode Highlights: What is North Star? (4:58) Identifies as a man who experiences same-sex attraction, but never spoke about it until a year ago (7:00) How he experienced growing up in the church (7:35) Prayed for years to have this changed in him (10:46) The single biggest challenge of his life, and tried to manage it entirely alone (12:20) The church has made great strides in clarifying doctrine and there are new resources for those experiencing same-sex attraction (16:17) Experiences as a young adult and decision to serve a mission (18:00) Sank into intense depression (19:30) How he met and married his wife (20:15) His experiences with marriage, family, and in church service (23:10) Found article in LDS Living magazine and began to consider discussing it (24:20) Spoke with his Stake President and his wife (28:08) His realization that it didn’t change anything with his church membership and calling (33:03) Resources available for LDS leaders (38:37) Experiences sharing his story with others (40:38) Story of same-sex couple who divorced to return to membership in/join the church (41:18) Change from environment where he didn’t talk about it, to where he can (44:40) These conversations are about individuals and not social/political dialogues (46:24) Found the book Voices of Hope, and North Star (48:40) Wendy Ulrich essay was especially helpful (49:56) What’s coming at the North Star Conference, March 17-18, 2017 (51:30) How he has developed a greater sense of love and compassion as a leader (56:47) Links: mormonandgay.lds.org ldsvoicesofhope.org northstarlds.org conference.northstarlds.org Voices of Hope The God Who Weeps The Crucible of Doubt 2017 North Star Church Leader Handout Episode Transcription Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today we are headed up north to Oregon, to Wilsonville, Oregon to talk with Ryan. How are you, Ryan? Ryan: I'm doing well, how are you, Kurt? LLDS: Good, now we had met in a different life. I have a friend that runs an audio/visual company and sometimes recruits me to help him in different events, and you were on an event. We were in Vegas doing a show backstage and we found out we shared the same religion and then we met up again later on as we discovered we had a connection through our association with North Star and that is what lead to this conversation. Let's get to know you a little bit. When people ask you what is it you do how do you describe that? Ryan: Well I wish I had a quick easy answer for that but basically I'm a graphic designer/ art director and for the past 23 years I've been working in the corporate events and broadcast television industries. A lot of what I do is companies hire me to work on their big meetings, and when I say big I talking about 5,000 - 10,000 people in attendance and I create all the visuals that go up on these big screens that are about sometimes 300 feet wide by 20 feet tall. I have to design the graphics and the animations and from a technical stand point I have to figure out how to play back those visuals. So that in a nutshell is what I do. LLDS: And so when people go to a corporate conference or an event or a summit and they see these beautiful graphics flash on the screen, Ryan lives in Wilsonville, Oregon, and is a graphic designer/art director, designing big-screen graphics and animations for conferences and events. He and his wife moved to Oregon twelve years ago from the San Francisco Bay area, where he grew up. Episode Highlights:

* What is North Star? (4:58)
* Identifies as a man who experiences same-sex attraction, but never spoke about it until a year ago (7:00)
* How he experienced growing up in the church (7:35)
* Prayed for years to have this changed in him (10:46)
* The single biggest challenge of his life, and tried to manage it entirely alone (12:20)
* The church has made great strides in clarifying doctrine and there are new resources for those experiencing same-sex attraction (16:17)
* Experiences as a young adult and decision to serve a mission (18:00)
* Sank into intense depression (19:30)
* How he met and married his wife (20:15)
* His experiences with marriage, family, and in church service (23:10)
* Found article in LDS Living magazine and began to consider discussing it (24:20)
* Spoke with his Stake President and his wife (28:08)
* His realization that it didn’t change anything with his church membership and calling (33:03)
* Resources available for LDS leaders (38:37)
* Experiences sharing his story with others (40:38)
* Story of same-sex couple who divorced to return to membership in/join the church (41:18)
* Change from environment where he didn’t talk about it, to where he can (44:40)
* These conversations are about individuals and not social/political dialogues (46:24)
* Found the book Voices of Hope, and North Star (48:40)
* Wendy Ulrich essay was especially helpful (49:56)
* What’s coming at the North Star Conference, March 17-18, 2017 (51:30)
* How he has developed a greater sense of love and compassion as a leader (56:47)

Links:
mormonandgay.lds.org
ldsvoicesofhope.org
northstarlds.org
conference.northstarlds.org
Voices of Hope
The God Who Weeps
The Crucible of Doubt

2017 North Star Church Leader Handout
Episode Transcription
Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today we are headed up north to Oregon, to Wilsonville, Oregon to talk with Ryan. How are you, Ryan?

Ryan: I'm doing well, how are you, Kurt?

LLDS: Good, now we had met in a different life. I have a friend that runs an audio/visual company and sometimes recruits me to help him in different events, and you were on an event. We were in Vegas doing a show backstage and we found out we shared the same religion and then we met up again later on as we discovered we had a connection through our association with North Star and that is what lead to this conversation.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:01:38
Creating Unity in Elders Quorum | How I Lead: Toby Eborn https://leadinglds.org/creating-unity-in-elders-quorum-how-i-lead-toby-eborn/ Sat, 18 Feb 2017 14:00:30 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31551 Toby Eborn was called as an Elder’s Quorum President in July 2016 in his Midvale, Utah-area ward. He was born and raised in Montpelier, Idaho, and was called to serve in the Minnesota Minneapolis Mission. Upon his return, he attended Utah State University for a time as well as culinary school before heading east and meeting his future-wife while living in Ohio. He has served as a primary and Sunday school teacher, a counselor in the Young Men’s presidency, ward executive secretary, co-ward mission leader, and most recently as a counselor in the Elders Quorum presidency. His approach as an Elders Quorum President is centered on helping people to get to know one another better (32:00). He looks for ways to get people together in a fun and relaxing atmosphere and has seen success in his quorum growing in their relationships with one another through these activities (46:00). In this podcast, he discusses five principles of leadership that he follows in his callings, as well as his approach to home teaching and quorum lessons. Principles of Leadership: 1. Love (35:00) It is easier to do things for people you love. By cultivating that type of brotherhood in the quorum, brethren understand that they are not alone in their struggles. President Eborn tries to have personal contact with each member of his quorum prior to the quorum meeting in the third hour block by greeting them with a handshake as they arrive for sacrament meeting. 2. Stewardship (37:30) Everyone has a stewardship, even if it is in our own family or even our own life. We can’t neglect the responsibility we’ve taken upon ourselves as priesthood holders to be the Savior’s representatives. We must make ourselves available to our stewardship and build that relationship with them. If we are good stewards it strengthens our priesthood power. 3. Faith (38:45) Are we remembering to encourage those experiencing a crisis of faith to do the “primary answers” – studying the scriptures daily, regular personal and family prayer, attending church – as a means of watering and nourishing the seed of testimony? Are we constantly working on our own faith? If we are, and we are conscious of the struggles of those in our stewardship, we are more equipped to assist them. 4. Accountability (40:55) We have agreed to and accepted callings to serve our stewardship and have made covenants to serve and follow through. Work to change our mindset from “it’s easier to not do the right thing” to “I really need to hold myself accountable to what I’ve committed to do.” 5. Discipline (42:15) How many days in a week are we “on the plan?” individually and as a family? Failure to be consistent in doing these things leads to lasting results and consequences. Turning Lessons into conversations (51:00) Improved quorum meeting attendance and participation has been a direct correlation to the brethren becoming friends and getting to know each other better. Approach to Home Teaching (52:00) Did not intend to talk about home teaching every week, but finds himself doing so. Avoids taking the “hey everyone, it’s the last week of the month, everybody get out and do your home teaching…” approach and then not saying anything for another month. Doesn’t talk about it because of a concern for numbers, but because he knows there are individuals and families in his quorum that need to be home taught. Focuses on the individual and helping the brethren to understand that people have struggles and need to be home taught – and that the home teachers can provide that strength. Just because someone is at church every week doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling. We don’t know and can’t help until we get to know each other and are able to open up safely to one another. Returning and reporting is important but ultimately President Eborn just wants them to be aware of how their home teaching families (their stewardship) are doing. Toby Eborn was called as an Elder’s Quorum President in July 2016 in his Midvale, Utah-area ward. He was born and raised in Montpelier, Idaho, and was called to serve in the Minnesota Minneapolis Mission. Upon his return,
His approach as an Elders Quorum President is centered on helping people to get to know one another better (32:00). He looks for ways to get people together in a fun and relaxing atmosphere and has seen success in his quorum growing in their relationships with one another through these activities (46:00).

In this podcast, he discusses five principles of leadership that he follows in his callings, as well as his approach to home teaching and quorum lessons.
Principles of Leadership:
1. Love (35:00)

* It is easier to do things for people you love. By cultivating that type of brotherhood in the quorum, brethren understand that they are not alone in their struggles.
* President Eborn tries to have personal contact with each member of his quorum prior to the quorum meeting in the third hour block by greeting them with a handshake as they arrive for sacrament meeting.

2. Stewardship (37:30)

* Everyone has a stewardship, even if it is in our own family or even our own life. We can’t neglect the responsibility we’ve taken upon ourselves as priesthood holders to be the Savior’s representatives.
* We must make ourselves available to our stewardship and build that relationship with them.
* If we are good stewards it strengthens our priesthood power.

3. Faith (38:45)

* Are we remembering to encourage those experiencing a crisis of faith to do the “primary answers” – studying the scriptures daily, regular personal and family prayer, attending church – as a means of watering and nourishing the seed of testimony?
* Are we constantly working on our own faith? If we are, and we are conscious of the struggles of those in our stewardship, we are more equipped to assist them.

4. Accountability (40:55)

* We have agreed to and accepted callings to serve our stewardship and have made covenants to serve and follow through.
* Work to change our mindset from “it’s easier to not do the right thing” to “I really need to hold myself accountable to what I’ve committed to do.”

5. Discipline (42:15)

* How many days in a week are we “on the plan?” individually and as a family?
* Failure to be consistent in doing these things leads to lasting results and consequences.

Turning Lessons into conversations (51:00)

* Improved quorum meeting attendance and participation has been a direct correlation to the brethren becoming friends and getting to know each other better.

Approach to Home Teaching (52:00)

* Did not intend to talk about home teaching every week, but finds himself doing so.
* Avoids taking the “hey everyone, it’s the last week of the month, everybody get out and do your home teaching…” approach and then not saying anything for another month.
* Doesn’t talk about it because of a concern for numbers, but because he knows there are individuals and families in his quorum that need to be home taught.
* Focuses on the individual and helping the brethren to understand that people have struggles and need to be home taught – and that the home teachers can provide that strength.
* Just because someone is at church every week doesn’t mean they aren’t struggli...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 60:49
Understanding the Conversion of Muslims to Christianity | Interview with Duane Miller https://leadinglds.org/understanding-the-conversion-of-muslims-to-christianity-interview-with-duane-miller/ Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:47:52 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31505 Duane Miller is an Anglican Christian and the author of Living Among the Breakage: Contextual Theology-Making and Ex-Muslim Christians, which covers a few reasons why Muslims are being converted to Christianity. He has a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in Theology, a diploma in Arabic, and a Ph.D. in Divinity.  During the interview, Kurt talks to Duane about how, as Christians, we can reach out to Muslims in love. Episode Highlights: The reason for candles in the Catholic Church (6:21) Duane explains how he became interested in understanding the conversion of Muslims to Christianity (7:45) Social media stories about Muslims converting: #ExMuslim (9:15) How many Muslims are converting? Global Census of Believers from a Muslim background (10:16) Religious conversion is both a turning away from something old and turning to something new (11:28) One reason why Muslims are attracted to Christianity is because of the non-violent example of the Savior (13:00) Are people leaving Islam and then becoming agnostic? (14:36) Muslims believe in Jesus, as a prophet (16:00) Do Muslims convert in order to seek asylum? (18:10) Are Muslims converted because people reach out to them or because they reach out? (19:24) Quest for truth (20:22) Sharing the gospel through interpersonal relationships (22:40) Getting to know your Muslim friends and co-workers (24:17) How did the research change you as a person? (25:52) The best way to reach out to a Muslim? (30:15) The Quran is not like the Bible (31:50) Duane helped Nazareth Evangelical Theological Seminary (35:06) Links: Global Census of Believers from a Muslim background LDS church provides place for displaced Muslim community to pray Living among the Breakage: Contextual Theology-Making and Ex-Muslim Christians Duane Miller's Blog Duane Miller is an Anglican Christian and the author of Living Among the Breakage: Contextual Theology-Making and Ex-Muslim Christians, which covers a few reasons why Muslims are being converted to Christianity. He has a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. Episode Highlights:

* The reason for candles in the Catholic Church (6:21)
* Duane explains how he became interested in understanding the conversion of Muslims to Christianity (7:45)
* Social media stories about Muslims converting: #ExMuslim (9:15)
* How many Muslims are converting? Global Census of Believers from a Muslim background (10:16)
* Religious conversion is both a turning away from something old and turning to something new (11:28)
* One reason why Muslims are attracted to Christianity is because of the non-violent example of the Savior (13:00)
* Are people leaving Islam and then becoming agnostic? (14:36)
* Muslims believe in Jesus, as a prophet (16:00)
* Do Muslims convert in order to seek asylum? (18:10)
* Are Muslims converted because people reach out to them or because they reach out? (19:24)
* Quest for truth (20:22)
* Sharing the gospel through interpersonal relationships (22:40)
* Getting to know your Muslim friends and co-workers (24:17)
* How did the research change you as a person? (25:52)
* The best way to reach out to a Muslim? (30:15)
* The Quran is not like the Bible (31:50)
* Duane helped Nazareth Evangelical Theological Seminary (35:06)

Links:

* Global Census of Believers from a Muslim background
*
LDS church provides place for displaced Muslim community to pray

*
Living among the Breakage: Contextual Theology-Making and Ex-Muslim Christians

* Duane Miller's Blog
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 39:52
Be Moved With Compassion | How I Lead Relief Society | Sister Jenn Mabie https://leadinglds.org/be-moved-with-compassion-how-i-lead-relief-society-sister-jenn-mabie/ Sat, 11 Feb 2017 15:49:30 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31468 Jenn Mabie lives in Moseley, Virginia. She is a full time mom of four children, an aspiring photographer, and served in her ward as a Relief Society President. Jenn grew up in Virginia and later attended the LDS Business College. She met her husband at a singles ward in Virginia and they were sealed in the Washington, D.C. Temple. Episode Highlights: Tools you use as a presidency (15:06) Be moved with Compassion (17:48) Work as a team in your presidency (20:34) By small and simple things great things come to pass (21:31) How did you plan Enrichment Activities? (24:45) What are your thoughts about visiting teaching? (25:20) What preparation did you do prior to being sustained? (8:07) Jenn was called into the Relief Society presidency first, then extended the call a little while later as the president. Jenn said that lots of prayer and learning about compassion helped prepare her for serving as Relief Society president. What's your ward like? (10:40) Mostly married families, but a large growing ward with a mix of single women. Worked closely with the primary and young women presidents, with council prior to ward council and going to visit women and families within the ward. Planned with the young women president to help get the moms and daughters to the temple together. How did meeting with the other auxiliary presidents come about? (13:00) They wanted to help the Laurels transition to Relief Society, and coordinated lessons to help the YW feel more comfortable. Worked with graduating Laurels and new Beehives to help the transition. Tools you use as a presidency (15:06) Printed out from My Computer is My Canvas. Planners cover topics and keeps you organized as a presidency. Kept in touch by email to make sure all thoughts were in the covered from each presidency member. Be moved with compassion (17:48) Followed the example of her bishop, a proactive leader who “wanted to know before their house burnt down” to help families before a crisis came. Communication is key for helping those who need extra attention within the ward, work with the bishop to plan visits for the week. Work as a team in your presidency (20:34) Get to know each other’s strengths and talents to support each other. Corinthians scripture about being one body. They held presidency meetings every other week and would return and report. By small and simple things great things come to pass (21:31) The presidency had small check-ins with the sisters about visiting teaching, very quick talks to see how it was working for companionships. The president also emailed sisters to get responses about how visiting teaching was going and how companionships were doing. Small changes helped with planning for larger changes in the future. As a Relief Society president she would visit ward sisters with the Young Women or Primary president depending on the situation. How did you plan Enrichment Activities? (24:45) Small activity groups such as play group, beach group, craft groups to reach out to sisters with various interests. These helped create unity as sisters found they had common interests. What are your thoughts about visiting teaching? (25:20) Each presidency member took stewardship over their district to make sure that women were getting visited. Instead of printing the assignments from the computer, she would include the information of the sisters that were the visiting teachers. How has serving as Relief Society president made you a better disciple of Christ? (29:37) Learned to love on a deeper level, receiving promptings for service helps you understand the love of the Savior for each person. Links: My Computer is My Canvas Help Them Aim High, by President Henry B. Eyring Jenn Mabie Photography   Jenn Mabie lives in Moseley, Virginia. She is a full time mom of four children, an aspiring photographer, and served in her ward as a Relief Society President. Jenn grew up in Virginia and later attended the LDS Business College. Episode Highlights:

* Tools you use as a presidency (15:06)
* Be moved with Compassion (17:48)
* Work as a team in your presidency (20:34)
* By small and simple things great things come to pass (21:31)
* How did you plan Enrichment Activities? (24:45)
* What are your thoughts about visiting teaching? (25:20)

What preparation did you do prior to being sustained? (8:07)

* Jenn was called into the Relief Society presidency first, then extended the call a little while later as the president. Jenn said that lots of prayer and learning about compassion helped prepare her for serving as Relief Society president.

What's your ward like? (10:40)

* Mostly married families, but a large growing ward with a mix of single women. Worked closely with the primary and young women presidents, with council prior to ward council and going to visit women and families within the ward. Planned with the young women president to help get the moms and daughters to the temple together.

How did meeting with the other auxiliary presidents come about? (13:00)

* They wanted to help the Laurels transition to Relief Society, and coordinated lessons to help the YW feel more comfortable. Worked with graduating Laurels and new Beehives to help the transition.

Tools you use as a presidency (15:06)

* Printed out from My Computer is My Canvas. Planners cover topics and keeps you organized as a presidency. Kept in touch by email to make sure all thoughts were in the covered from each presidency member.

Be moved with compassion (17:48)

* Followed the example of her bishop, a proactive leader who “wanted to know before their house burnt down” to help families before a crisis came. Communication is key for helping those who need extra attention within the ward, work with the bishop to plan visits for the week.

Work as a team in your presidency (20:34)

* Get to know each other’s strengths and talents to support each other. Corinthians scripture about being one body. They held presidency meetings every other week and would return and report.

By small and simple things great things come to pass (21:31)

* The presidency had small check-ins with the sisters about visiting teaching, very quick talks to see how it was working for companionships. The president also emailed sisters to get responses about how visiting teaching was going and how companionships were doing. Small changes helped with planning for larger changes in the future. As a Relief Society president she would visit ward sisters with the Young Women or Primary president depending on the situation.

How did you plan Enrichment Activities? (24:45)

* Small activity groups such as play group, beach group, craft groups to reach out to sisters with various interests. These helped create unity as sisters found they had common interests.

What are your thoughts about visiting teaching? (25:20)

* Each presidency member took stewardship over their district to make sure that women were getting visited. Instead of printing the assignments from the computer, she would include the information of the sisters that were the visiting teachers.

How has serving as Relief Society president made you a better disciple of Christ? (29:37)

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 32:27
Creating Influence as a Church Leader | Interview With Justin Hale of VitalSmarts https://leadinglds.org/creating-influence-as-a-church-leader-interview-with-justin-hale-of-vitalsmarts/ Wed, 08 Feb 2017 15:34:23 +0000 https://leadinglds.org/?p=31447 Justin Hale is a Master Trainer at VitalSmarts, a corporate training company in Provo, Utah, that teaches leadership principles. Justin has had the opportunity to apply the principles he teaches in his church callings, previously as an Elder’s Quorum President and currently as a member of a Young Single Adult ward bishopric. Originally from Atlanta, Georgia, he served a mission in the Philippines and earned his undergraduate degree from BYU in Social Psychology. It was through those studies that he became interested in understanding why people do what they do. Episode Highlights: What is VitalSmarts? (3:40) How he was called to the YSA bishopric (9:00) VitalSmarts Leadership Principles Helpful in the Bishopric (13:00) Being Clear Up Front About How Decisions are Made in a Group Explain which of four types of decisions will be made: a consult, a vote, a command, or a consensus A bishop wants ward council members to contribute because he values their opinions (15:30) The Six Source Model (17:20) Answers the question “Why do people do what they do?” A variety of reasons why people don’t follow through (19:00) Ability vs. motivation Factors such as social skills and environment Helps pinpoint where a problem is (24:00) Prevents us from oversimplifying Accountability in Church Callings (26:00) Starts with specific expectations Establish an environment where it’s okay to discuss difficulties (31:00) Invite the Differences (33:20) Ask the question after sharing your opinion: The measure of a good question is the degree to which it invites difference How Teaching These Principles Have Made Him a Better Disciple of Jesus Christ (37:15) Learning how to show forth an increase in love: before, during, and afterwards Links: Crucial Conversations Crucial Accountability Influencer Change Anything Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness 6-Source Model for Home Teaching VitalSmarts Interviews on LeadingLDS Behavioral Science Videos from VitalSmarts Justin Hale is a Master Trainer at VitalSmarts, a corporate training company in Provo, Utah, that teaches leadership principles. Justin has had the opportunity to apply the principles he teaches in his church callings, Episode Highlights:

What is VitalSmarts? (3:40)
How he was called to the YSA bishopric (9:00)
VitalSmarts Leadership Principles Helpful in the Bishopric (13:00)

Being Clear Up Front About How Decisions are Made in a Group

* Explain which of four types of decisions will be made: a consult, a vote, a command, or a consensus
A bishop wants ward council members to contribute because he values their opinions (15:30)

The Six Source Model (17:20)

Answers the question “Why do people do what they do?”
A variety of reasons why people don’t follow through (19:00)

Ability vs. motivation
Factors such as social skills and environment


Helps pinpoint where a problem is (24:00)
Prevents us from oversimplifying

Accountability in Church Callings (26:00)

Starts with specific expectations
Establish an environment where it’s okay to discuss difficulties (31:00)

Invite the Differences (33:20)

Ask the question after sharing your opinion: The measure of a good question is the degree to which it invites difference

How Teaching These Principles Have Made Him a Better Disciple of Jesus Christ (37:15)

Learning how to show forth an increase in love: before, during, and afterwards

Links:

* Crucial Conversations
* Crucial Accountability
* Influencer
* Change Anything
* Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness
* 6-Source Model for Home Teaching
* VitalSmarts Interviews on LeadingLDS
* Behavioral Science Videos from VitalSmarts
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 43:14
How to Influence the Perception of the LDS Church in Your Area | Guest Post: Kyle Morey https://leadinglds.org/how-to-influence-the-perception-of-the-lds-church-in-your-area-guest-post-kyle-morey/ Sat, 04 Feb 2017 14:00:46 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=31301 You'll probably recognize Kyle Morey from a How I Lead interview I did with him about his experience being the public affairs specialist in his stake. Kyle had some remarkable ideas about using technology to spread the gospel and mentioned an in depth article series he wrote that goes into detail about his strategies. I encourage you to spend some time reading the four part series (see links below) or listen to the attached podcast episode and hear it from Kyle himself; definitely an episode to share with your ward mission leader and public affairs specialist. You may want to continue following Kyle's family's adventures as they jump around the country. Kyle Morey's four part series of inviting others to Christ through your digital device Part 1: Invite others to host the missionaries for dinner and a discussion Part 2: How to bump opinion leaders into the gospel through chapel tours Part 3: Will you help me with my talk? Part 4: Involve the youth in missionary with social media You'll probably recognize Kyle Morey from a How I Lead interview I did with him about his experience being the public affairs specialist in his stake. Kyle had some remarkable ideas about using technology to spread the gospel and mentioned an in depth ... How I Lead interview I did with him about his experience being the public affairs specialist in his stake. Kyle had some remarkable ideas about using technology to spread the gospel and mentioned an in depth article series he wrote that goes into detail about his strategies.

I encourage you to spend some time reading the four part series (see links below) or listen to the attached podcast episode and hear it from Kyle himself; definitely an episode to share with your ward mission leader and public affairs specialist.

You may want to continue following Kyle's family's adventures as they jump around the country.
Kyle Morey's four part series of inviting others to Christ through your digital device
Part 1: Invite others to host the missionaries for dinner and a discussion

Part 2: How to bump opinion leaders into the gospel through chapel tours

Part 3: Will you help me with my talk?

Part 4: Involve the youth in missionary with social media]]>
LeadingLDS clean 25:48
Being a Leader in a Faith Crisis | Guest Post & Interview With Tom Tolman https://leadinglds.org/being-a-leader-in-a-faith-crisis-guest-post-interview-with-tom-tolman/ Tue, 31 Jan 2017 14:00:32 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=31224 Tom Tolman teaches leadership to future military officers as the director of the Army ROTC program at James Madison University. He has served in two branch presidencies, as an elders quorum president and as a missionary in Japan. During his military career he has led and served in a variety of units including the 82nd Airborne Division, U.S. Special Operations Command, British Army Headquarters and the United States Military Academy at West Point.  He has deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. Tom lives in Harrisonburg, VA with his wife Erin and four kids - Emma, Mary, Bennett, and Connor. Be sure to listen to the attached interview where Tom and Kurt talk in detail about what led up to Tom giving this talk in sacrament meeting.  Enter Tom... I like to run.  A few years ago I was training for a marathon.  Every Saturday I’d go for a long run - sometimes as long as 20 miles.  After the run, I had a particular craving for and would usually eat a large bowl of ramen soup.  After one run, a friend pointed out that the raman soup I was eating was terrible and contained high levels of sodium increasing my risk of high blood pressure and other problems.  I stopped eating the soup. As it turns out, because of the long runs and the physical activity, my body actually needed the extra salt. Thomas McConkie, author of Navigating a Mormon Faith Crisis, used a similar metaphor to talk about our spiritual needs.  He wrote: We have similar cravings spiritually. They feel counter-intuitive because in our mind, we know what we need for spiritual nourishment. Our culture has taught us what a proper diet looks like: read scriptures, go to church, pray, lose yourself in service to others. Repeat. Of course there is true sustenance in this formula. In Mormonism, it’s a bit like the spiritual food pyramid. And yet, we know more about developmental nutrition now than ever before. There are modifications in our diet that can lead to exhilarating growth spurts. There are different kinds of nutrients that we crave during different phases of our spiritual becoming. There are foods we need that we might not realize just how much we need. We all need different food. We all know members of the Church who aren’t attending regularly.  Or at all.  A close friend.  A family member.  Well over half the members of our branch don’t attend and that’s pretty normal across the Church.  Why is this?  Sometimes we are quick to propose reasons - perhaps they were offended; maybe they wanted to sin; maybe they were misled by some anti-mormon material or they just weren’t diligent enough in their scripture study and prayer. Perhaps, in some cases, despite our best efforts, everyone doesn’t find the spiritual nourishment they need at church.  When we, in well-meaning ways, attempt to force others to follow the diet that has always worked for us sometimes the consequences aren’t what we hoped. Now, I’m not speaking in some hypothetical or theoretical sense.   I’m going to be very candid.  About two years ago I had what we often call a crisis of faith.  Many of the things that I had regarded with great certainty I was no longer able to view the same way.  I had questions about seer stones and polygamy.  And dozens of others.  Nothing seemed to quite make sense. In the midst of my questioning, I felt alone and like I was suffocating.  Although I sat on the stand each week and was surrounded by loving and well-meaning friends and family I felt like my questions weren’t appropriate.  That my questions might be contagious and cause others to doubt - an outcome I didn’t want to inflict on anyone.  That my questions, if verbalized, would cause others to question my dedication or worthiness.  That my questions would be viewed as a threat.  So, I remained silent. By November last year my questions were getting in the way of my service and I asked to be released from my calling.  Although I loved everything about serving in the branch presidency, Tom Tolman teaches leadership to future military officers as the director of the Army ROTC program at James Madison University. He has served in two branch presidencies, as an elders quorum president and as a missionary in Japan.
Be sure to listen to the attached interview where Tom and Kurt talk in detail about what led up to Tom giving this talk in sacrament meeting. 
Enter Tom...
I like to run.  A few years ago I was training for a marathon.  Every Saturday I’d go for a long run - sometimes as long as 20 miles.  After the run, I had a particular craving for and would usually eat a large bowl of ramen soup.  After one run, a friend pointed out that the raman soup I was eating was terrible and contained high levels of sodium increasing my risk of high blood pressure and other problems.  I stopped eating the soup.

As it turns out, because of the long runs and the physical activity, my body actually needed the extra salt.

Thomas McConkie, author of Navigating a Mormon Faith Crisis, used a similar metaphor to talk about our spiritual needs.  He wrote:
We have similar cravings spiritually. They feel counter-intuitive because in our mind, we know what we need for spiritual nourishment. Our culture has taught us what a proper diet looks like: read scriptures, go to church, pray, lose yourself in service to others. Repeat. Of course there is true sustenance in this formula. In Mormonism, it’s a bit like the spiritual food pyramid. And yet, we know more about developmental nutrition now than ever before. There are modifications in our diet that can lead to exhilarating growth spurts. There are different kinds of nutrients that we crave during different phases of our spiritual becoming. There are foods we need that we might not realize just how much we need.
We all need different food.

We all know members of the Church who aren’t attending regularly.  Or at all.  A close friend.  A family member.  Well over half the members of our branch don’t attend and that’s pretty normal across the Church.  Why is this?  Sometimes we are quick to propose reasons - perhaps they were offended; maybe they wanted to sin; maybe they were misled by some anti-mormon material or they just weren’t diligent enough in their scripture study and prayer.

Perhaps, in some cases, despite our best efforts, everyone doesn’t find the spiritual nourishment they need at church.  When we, in well-meaning ways, attempt to force others to follow the diet that has always worked for us sometimes the consequences aren’t what we hoped.

Now, I’m not speaking in some hypothetical or theoretical sense.  

I’m going to be very candid.  About two years ago I had what we often call a crisis of faith.  Many of the things that I had regarded with great certainty I was no longer able to view the same way.  I had questions about seer stones and polygamy.  And dozens of others.  Nothing seemed to quite make sense.

In the midst of my questioning, I felt alone and like I was suffocating.  Although I sat on the stand each week and was surrounded by loving and well-meaning friends and family I felt like my questions weren’t appropriate.  That my questions might be contagious and cause others to doubt - an outcome I didn’t want to inflict on anyone.  That my questions, if verbalized,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 61:37
Teaching Strategies in the Bishop’s Office With Maria Eckersley https://leadinglds.org/teaching-strategies-in-the-bishops-office-with-maria-eckersley/ Tue, 24 Jan 2017 14:00:50 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=31310 Maria Eckersley lives now lives in Draper city, but was born in Illinois and raised in Blackfoot Idaho. She is the designer and creator of Meckmom.com.  The blog started out as a blog for mom tips, and has now transitioned it to a blog designed to make “Mom-life easier.”  The site has great ideas and principles for family home evenings and scripture study.  She also has a Youtube channel designed to help with object lessons and ideas improve teaching.  Maria currently serves in her ward as the gospel doctrine teacher. Episode Highlights 7:10  Shares the experience of having her husband called to be the bishop. 9:14  Advice for Bishop’s and their wives, “Although he can’t share specific details.. he can come home and tell you how he is changing through the process.”  “What did you learn today?” 11:22 Turning the bishop’s office into a classroom. 12:14 Maria was a partner with Sugardoodle.net and created the youtube channel to help her husband teach lessons 13:10 Teaching people not lessons 13:45 When teaching Primary kids, have as many visuals as possible.  They love object lessons, surprises, and using as many senses as possible. Break lesson into three basic points. 15:28 When teaching the Youth be authentic.  Tell your own stories and experiences.  Use simple object lessons that relate to things they use or see everyday.  Guide them to resources and tools that they can use.  Use LDS.org and Mormon.org to answer difficult questions. (17:53). 19:08  When teaching adults tell stories.  Adult’s need time to think and relate to the stories you are telling.  Direct the students to the stories in the scriptures.  Ask more questions then information and be vulnerable. Object Lessons: 23:54 Teaching adversity to primary kids by using dice. 25:30 Teaching adversity to the youth by using a piano. 27:08 Teaching adversity to adults by using the allegory of the olive tree Jacob 5: 21-22. 28:12 Teaching primary kids how to resist temptation by using a fishing lure and bait. 29:28 Teaching youth how to resist temptation by using a wooden spoon, “Stirring the harts of men." 31:07 Teaching adults how to resist temptation by using the Lehonti principle “poisoned by degrees” (Alma 47). 33:36 Teaching Primary kids about repentance by using cotton candy. 35:16 Kurt’s magic trick 37:07 Teaching teens about repentance by using a $10 bill. 39:25 Teaching adults about repentance by using wheat. 40:40 Teaching how to understand and feeling the Holy Ghost, by asking primary kids to rub their hands together. 41:45 Teaching teens how to understand the Holy Ghost by relating it to Wifi. 43:00 Teaching adults how to understand the Holy Ghost using Moroni’s promise. Links: MeckMom.com MeckMom Videos Consequence Stick Sugardoodle Teaching in the Savior's Way Maria's SlideShare The Fourth Watch, by S. Michael Wilcox Maria Eckersley lives now lives in Draper city, but was born in Illinois and raised in Blackfoot Idaho. She is the designer and creator of Meckmom.com.  The blog started out as a blog for mom tips, and has now transitioned it to a blog designed to make...

Maria Eckersley lives now lives in Draper city, but was born in Illinois and raised in Blackfoot Idaho. She is the designer and creator of Meckmom.com.  The blog started out as a blog for mom tips, and has now transitioned it to a blog designed to make “Mom-life easier.”  The site has great ideas and principles for family home evenings and scripture study.  She also has a Youtube channel designed to help with object lessons and ideas improve teaching.  Maria currently serves in her ward as the gospel doctrine teacher.
Episode Highlights


* 7:10  Shares the experience of having her husband called to be the bishop.
* 9:14  Advice for Bishop’s and their wives, “Although he can’t share specific details.. he can come home and tell you how he is changing through the process.”  “What did you learn today?”
* 11:22 Turning the bishop’s office into a classroom.
* 12:14 Maria was a partner with Sugardoodle.net and created the youtube channel to help her husband teach lessons
* 13:10 Teaching people not lessons
* 13:45 When teaching Primary kids, have as many visuals as possible.  They love object lessons, surprises, and using as many senses as possible. Break lesson into three basic points.
* 15:28 When teaching the Youth be authentic.  Tell your own stories and experiences.  Use simple object lessons that relate to things they use or see everyday.  Guide them to resources and tools that they can use.  Use LDS.org and Mormon.org to answer difficult questions. (17:53).
* 19:08  When teaching adults tell stories.  Adult’s need time to think and relate to the stories you are telling.  Direct the students to the stories in the scriptures.  Ask more questions then information and be vulnerable.

Object Lessons:

* 23:54 Teaching adversity to primary kids by using dice.
* 25:30 Teaching adversity to the youth by using a piano.
* 27:08 Teaching adversity to adults by using the allegory of the olive tree Jacob 5: 21-22.
* 28:12 Teaching primary kids how to resist temptation by using a fishing lure and bait.
* 29:28 Teaching youth how to resist temptation by using a wooden spoon, “Stirring the harts of men."
* 31:07 Teaching adults how to resist temptation by using the Lehonti principle “poisoned by degrees” (Alma 47).
* 33:36 Teaching Primary kids about repentance by using cotton candy.
* 35:16 Kurt’s magic trick
* 37:07 Teaching teens about repentance by using a $10 bill.
* 39:25 Teaching adults about repentance by using wheat.
* 40:40 Teaching how to understand and feeling the Holy Ghost, by asking primary kids to rub their hands together.
* 41:45 Teaching teens how to understand the Holy Ghost by relating it to Wifi.
* 43:00 Teaching adults how to understand the Holy Ghost usin...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 51:55
How I Lead as Scout Master | Interview With Eric Allen https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-scout-master-interview-with-eric-allen/ Sat, 21 Jan 2017 15:14:00 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=31239 Eric Allen was raised in Bountiful, Utah and currently lives in Centerville, Utah, and has served as a scout master many times for many years. He served a full-time mission in Florida. He met his wife in an awkward fashion but it has turned out to be a wonderful marriage. Even thought Brother Allen didn't earn his Eagle as a young man, he has benefited from his experience mentoring young men in the scouting program to achieve the rank of Eagle. His soft spoken manner is based around strong leadership principles that has brought him success. Empower the boys (10:00) Value all ideas (18:10) State needs forcefully (20:50) Become and Instant Expert (25:05) Own your failures (26:45) Brother Allen also discusses his approach to Friends of Scouting and effectively and kindly gathering donations for the Boy Scouts of America program (32:00). Links: Don't Kill the Little Birds, President Kimball Eric Allen was raised in Bountiful, Utah and currently lives in Centerville, Utah, and has served as a scout master many times for many years. He served a full-time mission in Florida. He met his wife in an awkward fashion but it has turned out to be a...
Even thought Brother Allen didn't earn his Eagle as a young man, he has benefited from his experience mentoring young men in the scouting program to achieve the rank of Eagle. His soft spoken manner is based around strong leadership principles that has brought him success.

* Empower the boys (10:00)
* Value all ideas (18:10)
* State needs forcefully (20:50)
* Become and Instant Expert (25:05)
* Own your failures (26:45)

Brother Allen also discusses his approach to Friends of Scouting and effectively and kindly gathering donations for the Boy Scouts of America program (32:00).
Links:
Don't Kill the Little Birds, President Kimball]]>
LeadingLDS clean 39:47
What the Council of 50 Can Teach Us About Ward Council https://leadinglds.org/what-the-council-of-50-can-teach-us-about-ward-council/ Tue, 17 Jan 2017 14:00:52 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=31229 In this episode we speak with Matthew Grow, Director of Publications at the LDS Church History Library. Brother Grow graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in History before completing a Masters and Ph.D in American History at the University of Notre Dame. Currently serving as an elders quorum president in his Salt Lake City-area ward, Brother Grow’s responsibilities at the Church History Library include supervising the publications of historical church documents, the Joseph Smith Papers project, the history section of LDS.org and other documents. He is a descendant of Parley P. Pratt and co-authored the biography, Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism. (10:20) Leadership Traits of Parley P. Pratt for leaders today: Bold in his beliefs Tireless in service but balanced in service in the gospel and time with his family (13:20) Introduction to the Council of Fifty (Administrative Records, Council of Fifty, Minutes, March 1844-January 1846 published as part of the Joseph Smith Papers) (21:20) Principles by which Joseph Smith oversaw a council: Councils are where revelation should come It is the duty of every member of a council is to speak candidly – all are expected to participate Agree to disagree long enough to think through, debate and deliberate through an issue Take our councils seriously – returning and reporting at subsequent meetings Go through the process, do our part to work to find a solution and then expect the revelation to come (33:15) Resources to assist leaders in helping individuals with historical concerns: Don’t dismiss the question – take the question/questioner seriously ( Can’t testify the question away Leadership portal on LDS.org – synopses of gospel topic essays available As a leader, know the gospel topic essays ourselves History section of LDS.org – Pioneers in Every Land History section of LDS.org – Revelations in Context (also available in print) (42:00) Which leadership principles do we sometimes overlook? Church history in its totality is more faith affirming than faith troubling Receiving revelation takes work, no matter what our calling is. It is a misconception to some to think that when you reach a certain level of leadership that revelation comes easier or in a different manner Links: Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism Administrative Records, Council of Fifty, Minutes, March 1844-January 1846 An Evening with Elder M. Russell Ballard 2016 address to CES Instructors www.history.lds.org Gospel Topic Essays Revelations in Context   In this episode we speak with Matthew Grow, Director of Publications at the LDS Church History Library. Brother Grow graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in History before completing a Masters and Ph. LDS Church History Library. Brother Grow graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in History before completing a Masters and Ph.D in American History at the University of Notre Dame. Currently serving as an elders quorum president in his Salt Lake City-area ward, Brother Grow’s responsibilities at the Church History Library include supervising the publications of historical church documents, the Joseph Smith Papers project, the history section of LDS.org and other documents. He is a descendant of Parley P. Pratt and co-authored the biography, Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism.

(10:20) Leadership Traits of Parley P. Pratt for leaders today:

Bold in his beliefs
Tireless in service but balanced in service in the gospel and time with his family

(13:20) Introduction to the Council of Fifty (Administrative Records, Council of Fifty, Minutes, March 1844-January 1846 published as part of the Joseph Smith Papers)

(21:20) Principles by which Joseph Smith oversaw a council:

Councils are where revelation should come
It is the duty of every member of a council is to speak candidly – all are expected to participate
Agree to disagree long enough to think through, debate and deliberate through an issue
Take our councils seriously – returning and reporting at subsequent meetings
Go through the process, do our part to work to find a solution and then expect the revelation to come

(33:15) Resources to assist leaders in helping individuals with historical concerns:

Don’t dismiss the question – take the question/questioner seriously (
Can’t testify the question away
Leadership portal on LDS.org – synopses of gospel topic essays available
As a leader, know the gospel topic essays ourselves
History section of LDS.org – Pioneers in Every Land
History section of LDS.org – Revelations in Context (also available in print)

(42:00) Which leadership principles do we sometimes overlook?

Church history in its totality is more faith affirming than faith troubling
Receiving revelation takes work, no matter what our calling is. It is a misconception to some to think that when you reach a certain level of leadership that revelation comes easier or in a different manner

Links:
Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism

Administrative Records, Council of Fifty, Minutes, March 1844-January 1846

An Evening with Elder M. Russell Ballard 2016 address to CES Instructors

www.history.lds.org

Gospel Topic Essays

Revelations in Context

 ]]>
LeadingLDS clean 48:29
Slow Down and Lead | How I Lead: Marshall Askins https://leadinglds.org/slow-down-and-lead-how-i-lead-marshall-askins/ Sat, 14 Jan 2017 14:00:54 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=31147 Marshall married his high school sweetheart, who happened to be a member of the church. While Marshall didn’t join right away he eventually joined the church at 38 years old, served in many different callings and has gained leadership experience. Marshall made a commitment to go to church after a diligent home teacher asked him, he started attending as he saw how his family loved him being there and the difference the gospel made in his own life. Home teachers need to teach the gospel to make sure that true doctrine is being taught to those who may need to hear it. The talk entitled Beware of Pride by Ezra Taft Benson was a turning point in Marshall’s conversion and after baptism he was quickly included in the Elder’s Quorum and given responsibilities that helped him see the gospel in action first hand. After attending the temple he was asked to serve as the ward mission leader. After moving and a few other callings, he was called as the elders quorum president and a few years later as a bishop. Principles of Leadership: Love your flock and let them know it (18:13) Slow down, listen, and be observant (22:00) How would you restructure bishopric meetings? (25:34) Communicate and teach communication (27:19) Make your office inviting and your presence wanted (33:19) Always Teach (36:32) Balance (42:38) What stands out the most from your EQP experience and serving as a bishop? Marshall truly learned to love and receive revelation. Through training with the stake president he learned about interviewing and leading people to Christ. Serving as a bishop was a highlight of his church service. Love your flock and let them know it Having a loving heart and letting people know that you love them. When you learn about the people and pray for them, you enrich your relationship with them and the Savior. Show love by telling them, praying for them, and praying that they can feel the love. Don’t be afraid to show emotion as you lead. When people know you love them, you’ll be able to help them, especially when you ask them to do hard things on their path to exaltation. Slow down, listen, and be observant The work of the Lord sometimes requires us to work slowly. When you have a leadership situation that requires council, make sure you’re taking the appropriate time to think about the council you can give them. Make sure to ponder decisions and mentally slow down to communicate with the Lord. (See D&C 61) How would you restructure bishopric meetings? Marshall suggests to be more structured and focused. Make sure that people are on task and that tangents are held to a minimum. Communicate and teach communication Each relationship is different and have different dynamics. Effective communication is important as you counsel individuals. It’s important that individuals aren’t making decisions off a misunderstanding from your communication. Make sure that everything makes sense to the individual. Improve your communication with your Father in Heaven as well. Make your office inviting and your presence wanted Whether you’re in your office or someone’s home, people have difficult situations and you want them to like to see the bishop. Having a comfortable environment helps keep a dialogue going to help them with their problems. Always Teach Teach the doctrine and teach it everywhere. Teach in interviews, teach in homes, teach and minister while you’re administering. When you teach you prepare everyone to make covenants and then after they’ve made the covenant, you’re teaching them how to keep their covenants. Balance Delegate and let others lead. Don’t micromanage, let others minister as you want to minister too. Just because they aren’t doing something they way you would do it doesn’t mean that they are doing it wrong. Have reporting systems in place so that you can know what’s happening without running the program yourself. Marshall married his high school sweetheart, who happened to be a member of the church. While Marshall didn’t join right away he eventually joined the church at 38 years old, served in many different callings and has gained leadership experience. Marshall made a commitment to go to church after a diligent home teacher asked him, he started attending as he saw how his family loved him being there and the difference the gospel made in his own life. Home teachers need to teach the gospel to make sure that true doctrine is being taught to those who may need to hear it.

The talk entitled Beware of Pride by Ezra Taft Benson was a turning point in Marshall’s conversion and after baptism he was quickly included in the Elder’s Quorum and given responsibilities that helped him see the gospel in action first hand. After attending the temple he was asked to serve as the ward mission leader. After moving and a few other callings, he was called as the elders quorum president and a few years later as a bishop.
Principles of Leadership:


Love your flock and let them know it (18:13)


Slow down, listen, and be observant (22:00)


How would you restructure bishopric meetings? (25:34)


Communicate and teach communication (27:19)


Make your office inviting and your presence wanted (33:19)


Always Teach (36:32)


Balance (42:38)


What stands out the most from your EQP experience and serving as a bishop?
Marshall truly learned to love and receive revelation. Through training with the stake president he learned about interviewing and leading people to Christ. Serving as a bishop was a highlight of his church service.

Love your flock and let them know it
Having a loving heart and letting people know that you love them. When you learn about the people and pray for them, you enrich your relationship with them and the Savior. Show love by telling them, praying for them, and praying that they can feel the love. Don’t be afraid to show emotion as you lead. When people know you love them, you’ll be able to help them, especially when you ask them to do hard things on their path to exaltation.

Slow down, listen, and be observant
The work of the Lord sometimes requires us to work slowly. When you have a leadership situation that requires council, make sure you’re taking the appropriate time to think about the council you can give them. Make sure to ponder decisions and mentally slow down to communicate with the Lord. (See D&C 61)

How would you restructure bishopric meetings?
Marshall suggests to be more structured and focused. Make sure that people are on task and that tangents are held to a minimum.

Communicate and teach communication
Each relationship is different and have different dynamics. Effective communication is important as you counsel individuals. It’s important that individuals aren’t making decisions off a misunderstanding from your communication. Make sure that everything makes sense to the individual. Improve your communication with your Father in Heaven as well.

Make your office inviting and your presence wanted
Whether you’re in your office or someone’s home, people have difficult situations and you want them to like to see the bishop. Having a comfortable environment helps keep a dialogue going to help them with their problems.

Always Teach
Teach the doctrine and teach it everywhere. Teach in interviews, teach in homes, teach and minister while you’re administering. When you teach you prepare everyone to make covenants and then after they’ve made the covenant, you’re teaching them how to keep their covenants.

Balance
Delegate and let others lead.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 48:49
Faith and a Life Jacket | Interview With Ben Bernards https://leadinglds.org/faith-and-a-life-jacket-interview-with-ben-bernards/ Tue, 10 Jan 2017 14:00:37 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=31150 Ben Bernards author of Faith and a Life Jacket: 7 Truths for your Eternal Mission. Ben also teaches at Especially For Youth conferences. Ben served his mission in the Fiji Islands mission, serving mainly in New Caledonia, the mission experience enriched his testimony in unique and challenging ways. He shares unique mission experiences that show tender mercies from Heavenly Father. Episode Highlights: Mission prep book that also ties into leadership qualities for LDS leaders. What advice can you give ward leaders to help reach out to youth? Try to bridge the age gap and connect on their level. Make sure that you understand the secular culture that they are living in so you can converse with them about things they are interested in. Being real and genuine with the youth can help connect with them and build relationships. Ward leaders should strive to help those preparing for a mission understand that it will be difficult. As you team up with Heavenly Father and inspired leaders, you will find success. We’ve been asked to take His yoke upon and and not our own. Ben Bernard’s book discusses 7 Truths that also apply to leadership within the ward. It’s going to be harder than you think but it’s possible with God’s help. Leadership is hard but it’s possible with God’s help. Social media is fine but don’t compare someone’s highlight reel with your behind the scenes. Your faithfulness and obedience that isn’t a guarantee of a smooth road. 100% obedience and hard work doesn’t mean that leadership or missionary work is going to be easy. Don’t let it get you down, let your faith help you keep going. Evil is real but God is more powerful. The reality of how difficult things can be, when the adversary tries to throw you off your path. Hold on to the fact that God’s power can cast out the darkness and bring light to everyone around us. Miracles happen and are unlocked by the patient obedient The Lord will reward and work best with those who are willing to follow His principles. How are you going to show love to those you lead? What ways can you serve the people you are leading in their everyday lives? Be willing to genuine and real with those that you serve. Try to become a minister of Christ in your interactions. What was helping for leadership development during your mission? Make the scriptures familiar with yourself and can apply the different stories and teaching to real life situations. Keep a record of scriptures that you continually use to help, write them down and keep them in an easily accessible location. Focus on bringing people to Christ at their own speed. Focus on the progress of the people and not the statistical aspect of the gospel. There is wisdom in helping those begin their journey and not rushing them through gaining a testimony. Timing is in God’s hands and success is sometimes measured in qualitative ways, this helps you see this as a people’s church and not a race for numbers. Putting standards on yourself is difficult as a leader and as you learn to set that aside and just love people, you’ll find success and joy in serving. The small progress that people make can be counted as success and it’s just as important as the large steps. When we set aside the best things for our lives and work in God’s vineyard that we see the miracles and blessings happen. Let God direct the work. Now Go Out There and Teach Someone. Links: Faith and a Life Jacket Book BenBernards.com Ben Bernards author of Faith and a Life Jacket: 7 Truths for your Eternal Mission. Ben also teaches at Especially For Youth conferences. Ben served his mission in the Fiji Islands mission, serving mainly in New Caledonia, Faith and a Life Jacket: 7 Truths for your Eternal Mission. Ben also teaches at Especially For Youth conferences. Ben served his mission in the Fiji Islands mission, serving mainly in New Caledonia, the mission experience enriched his testimony in unique and challenging ways. He shares unique mission experiences that show tender mercies from Heavenly Father.

Episode Highlights:

* Mission prep book that also ties into leadership qualities for LDS leaders.
* What advice can you give ward leaders to help reach out to youth?

* Try to bridge the age gap and connect on their level. Make sure that you understand the secular culture that they are living in so you can converse with them about things they are interested in. Being real and genuine with the youth can help connect with them and build relationships.


* Ward leaders should strive to help those preparing for a mission understand that it will be difficult. As you team up with Heavenly Father and inspired leaders, you will find success. We’ve been asked to take His yoke upon and and not our own.
* Ben Bernard’s book discusses 7 Truths that also apply to leadership within the ward.
* It’s going to be harder than you think but it’s possible with God’s help.
* Leadership is hard but it’s possible with God’s help.
* Social media is fine but don’t compare someone’s highlight reel with your behind the scenes.
* Your faithfulness and obedience that isn’t a guarantee of a smooth road. 100% obedience and hard work doesn’t mean that leadership or missionary work is going to be easy. Don’t let it get you down, let your faith help you keep going.
* Evil is real but God is more powerful.
* The reality of how difficult things can be, when the adversary tries to throw you off your path. Hold on to the fact that God’s power can cast out the darkness and bring light to everyone around us.
* Miracles happen and are unlocked by the patient obedient The Lord will reward and work best with those who are willing to follow His principles.
* How are you going to show love to those you lead?
* What ways can you serve the people you are leading in their everyday lives? Be willing to genuine and real with those that you serve. Try to become a minister of Christ in your interactions.
* What was helping for leadership development during your mission?
* Make the scriptures familiar with yourself and can apply the different stories and teaching to real life situations. Keep a record of scriptures that you continually use to help, write them down and keep them in an easily accessible location. Focus on bringing people to Christ at their own speed.
* Focus on the progress of the people and not the statistical aspect of the gospel. There is wisdom in helping those begin their journey and not rushing them through gaining a testimony. Timing is in God’s hands and success is sometimes measured in qualitative ways, this helps you see this as a people’s church and not a race for numbers. Putting standards on yourself is difficult as a leader and as you learn to set that aside and just love people, you’ll find success and joy in serving. The small progress that people make can be counted as success and it’s just as important as the large steps.
* When we set aside the best things for our lives and work in God’s vineyard that we see the miracles and blessings happen. Let God direct the work.
* Now Go Out There and Teach Someone.

Links:
Faith and a Life Jacket Book

BenBernards.com

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 80:32
Achieving the Savior’s Vision of Home Teaching | An Interview with Adam Ellsworth https://leadinglds.org/achieving-the-saviors-vision-of-home-teaching-an-interview-with-adam-ellsworth/ Sat, 07 Jan 2017 14:00:58 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=31081 In this episode of the How I Lead segment we talk to Adam Ellsworth. Adam is currently serving as the president of his elders quorum in Maryland. Both Adam and his wife were raised in Southern California but did not meet until they attended the same student ward at Brigham Young University. After receiving his bachelors degree at BYU, Adam graduated law school from Pepperdine University after which he took a job in Washington D.C. as a patent attorney. Adam and his family have called D.C. home for the last 10 years. Adam also shares with us his five leadership principles accompanied with an effective and unique approach to home teaching. He and his presidency have effectively changed the culture of home teaching in their quorum. 5 Principles of Leadership: Exercise inspired judgment and allow others to do the same (46:30) Focus on Christ (47:23) Lead with Christ's authority in the manner that he instructed (49:00) If you want something done, talk one on one (52:57) Be one, build unity by communication. Episode Highlights: What was your childhood like? (4:00) Did you serve a full time mission? (4:51) How did you meet your wife? (6:20) What is the first general conference talk that comes to mind? (7:48) What other callings have you had? (12:20) How were you called as elders quorum president? (13:04) HOW DO YOU APPROACH HOME TEACHING? (14:00) Five Principles of Leadership (40:37) Links: DOWNLOAD the Home Teaching document from Adam's stake The Power of a Strong Testimony, by Elder Richard G. Scott DeAnna Murphy Episode The Weightier Matters of the Law: Judgment, Mercy, and Faith, by President James E. Faust Essentialism Episode   In this episode of the How I Lead segment we talk to Adam Ellsworth. Adam is currently serving as the president of his elders quorum in Maryland. Both Adam and his wife were raised in Southern California but did not meet until they attended the same st...
Adam also shares with us his five leadership principles accompanied with an effective and unique approach to home teaching. He and his presidency have effectively changed the culture of home teaching in their quorum.
5 Principles of Leadership:

* Exercise inspired judgment and allow others to do the same (46:30)
* Focus on Christ (47:23)
* Lead with Christ's authority in the manner that he instructed (49:00)
* If you want something done, talk one on one (52:57)
* Be one, build unity by communication.

Episode Highlights:

* What was your childhood like? (4:00)
* Did you serve a full time mission? (4:51)
* How did you meet your wife? (6:20)
* What is the first general conference talk that comes to mind? (7:48)
* What other callings have you had? (12:20)
* How were you called as elders quorum president? (13:04)
* HOW DO YOU APPROACH HOME TEACHING? (14:00)
* Five Principles of Leadership (40:37)

Links:

* DOWNLOAD the Home Teaching document from Adam's stake
* The Power of a Strong Testimony, by Elder Richard G. Scott
* DeAnna Murphy Episode
* The Weightier Matters of the Law: Judgment, Mercy, and Faith, by President James E. Faust
* Essentialism Episode

 ]]>
LeadingLDS clean 59:22
Being an Organized Spiritual Counselor (Bishop) | An Interview With Beckie Hennessy https://leadinglds.org/being-an-organized-spiritual-counselor-bishop-an-interview-with-beckie-hennessy/ Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:00:34 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=30373 Beckie Hennessy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has years in counseling. In this episode we talk about how a clinical counselor organizes their counseling appointment in a way that helps their clients progress and benefit from the counseling provided. Bishop or Stake Presidents can learn from their systems and hopefully help individuals they are spiritually counseling feel more loved. Episode Highlights What should a bishop expect when working with a professional counselor? (7:05) Thoughts on the LDS Addiction Recovery Groups (14:40) Elder Dallin H. Oaks - Recovering from the Trap of Pornography How should bishops work as a team with the professional counselor? (15:42) How can bishops best organize and track their own progress when counseling with members? (19:45) 5 Ways to Stay Organized as a Spiritual Counselor Embracing Technology (22:05) TheraNest (for professional counselors) Google Docs Evernote OneNote Organize with F.H.E. (How to keep notes during your meetings) (33:26) Focus - describe in notes the reason why they wanted to meet along with your thoughts about additional areas of focus Help - what did you advise them to do, what was your commitment to help them? Expectations - what are the specific actions required of the bishop and of the individual Be Present or Postponing (40:45) What do to and say when your are called with an urgent matter during personal time Become familiar with local crisis lines and resources Follow Through (53:00) Timely follow through expresses care, love and genuine concern Links: Bricks Family Counseling Cobalt Counseling Beckie Hennessy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has years in counseling. In this episode we talk about how a clinical counselor organizes their counseling appointment in a way that helps their clients progress and benefit from the counseling p... Episode Highlights

* What should a bishop expect when working with a professional counselor? (7:05)
* Thoughts on the LDS Addiction Recovery Groups (14:40)
* Elder Dallin H. Oaks - Recovering from the Trap of Pornography

* How should bishops work as a team with the professional counselor? (15:42)
* How can bishops best organize and track their own progress when counseling with members? (19:45)

5 Ways to Stay Organized as a Spiritual Counselor

* Embracing Technology (22:05)

* TheraNest (for professional counselors)
* Google Docs
* Evernote
* OneNote


* Organize with F.H.E. (How to keep notes during your meetings) (33:26)

* Focus - describe in notes the reason why they wanted to meet along with your thoughts about additional areas of focus
* Help - what did you advise them to do, what was your commitment to help them?
* Expectations - what are the specific actions required of the bishop and of the individual


* Be Present or Postponing (40:45)

* What do to and say when your are called with an urgent matter during personal time
* Become familiar with local crisis lines and resources


* Follow Through (53:00)

* Timely follow through expresses care, love and genuine concern



Links:

* Bricks Family Counseling
* Cobalt Counseling
]]>
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10 Most Popular LeadingLDS Content of 2016 https://leadinglds.org/10-most-popular-leadinglds-content-of-2016/ Mon, 26 Dec 2016 14:00:12 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=30838 2016 has been the largest growth year for LeadingLDS yet! It's exciting to see more leaders in the Church discover the content and gain from the knowledge of other leaders. We had close to 200,000 unique podcast downloads and almost 100,000 unique visits to the website. We are truly making a difference and I am excited to see the progress that is made in 2017. If you are new to LeadingLDS or want to look back on 2016 to discover the most popular content on LeadingLDS, here you go! Most Downloaded Episodes of 2016 1. What I Learned About Leadership When My 2nd Counselor Left the Church An incredibly real discussion about leaders perspective on those that leave the Church and why. I interviewed one of my bishopric counselors that recently left the Church. Listen here 2. Loving Our LGBT Brethren & Sisters | An Interview with Bishop Carl Hull Bishop Hull had a remarkable journey to better understand the LGBT community and most importantly how to love them more fully as a bishop. Listen here 3. Being an Essentialism Bishop | An Interview with Greg McKeown I am so happy to see that this interview got so much traction. Every busy bishop or church leader needs to listen to this multiple times and then read Bishop Greg McKeown's book Essentialism: The Disciplined Persuit of Less. It has changed my approach to what I focus on and how I can more effectively lead by doing less. Listen here 4. The Art of Significance in LDS Leadership | How I Lead: Bishop Dan Clark This was probably one of the more fun interviews I did. Dan Clark is a riot to be around and that fact that I was able to visit him in his home and ask him deep leadership principles was awesome. This interview will leave any leader motivated to change the world through their calling. Listen here 5. How to Support Transgender Members In Your LDS Ward The General Authorities have not said much about the issue of Transgener Mormons. I am sure more is to come but this was a fantastic interivew where I sat down with Brigit Pack, who is affiliated with North Star, and we discussed her experience of having a spouse that is transgender. It was an enlightening interview and I have had a new perspective ever since I was apart of it. Listen here 6. Home Teaching During Tragedy | The Story Behind Elder Holland’s #LDSconf Talk More details about Elder Holland's story about the heartwrenching story of the loss of Austen Russell can be found in this interview. I chatted with Troy Russell, Austen's father, and his home teacher, John Manning. There was a sweet spirit present as we did this interview and many have emailed me about the impact it had on them. I hope it helps you better home or visit teach. Listen here 7. Perfection is Not 100% Home Teaching | An Interview with Yohan Delton I was extremely impressed by the knowledge of Yohan Delton. Every elders quorum president and Relief Society president needs to understand these concepts. It will make you a better leader. Listen here 8. How to Disagree as a Leader Without Making an Enemy | An Interview with Gary Rhoads If you have served in leadership you have definitely experienced a communication issue. Professor Gary Rhoads shares a handful of LDS Church leadership experiences that all leaders can learn from. The more you learn how to communicate the better you will lead and love. Listen here 9. Mental Illness & the Bishop’s Office Jeff Case, a clinical psychologist, talks about the in's and out's of mental illness so that bishops and other church leaders can better find a place for them in their wards and groups. Listen here 10. The Why of Your Calling | An Interview with Wendy Ulrich If you are not familiar with Wendy Ulrich's work this is a great place to start. With her vast experience in business consulting and church leadership experience, she paints a picture that will motivate any leader to help others find their why. Listen here 2016 has been the largest growth year for LeadingLDS yet! It's exciting to see more leaders in the Church discover the content and gain from the knowledge of other leaders. We had close to 200,000 unique podcast downloads and almost 100,
If you are new to LeadingLDS or want to look back on 2016 to discover the most popular content on LeadingLDS, here you go!
Most Downloaded Episodes of 2016
1. What I Learned About Leadership When My 2nd Counselor Left the Church


An incredibly real discussion about leaders perspective on those that leave the Church and why. I interviewed one of my bishopric counselors that recently left the Church. Listen here
2. Loving Our LGBT Brethren & Sisters | An Interview with Bishop Carl Hull


Bishop Hull had a remarkable journey to better understand the LGBT community and most importantly how to love them more fully as a bishop. Listen here
3. Being an Essentialism Bishop | An Interview with Greg McKeown


I am so happy to see that this interview got so much traction. Every busy bishop or church leader needs to listen to this multiple times and then read Bishop Greg McKeown's book Essentialism: The Disciplined Persuit of Less. It has changed my approach to what I focus on and how I can more effectively lead by doing less. Listen here
4. The Art of Significance in LDS Leadership | How I Lead: Bishop Dan Clark


This was probably one of the more fun interviews I did. Dan Clark is a riot to be around and that fact that I was able to visit him in his home and ask him deep leadership principles was awesome. This interview will leave any leader motivated to change the world through their calling. Listen here
5. How to Support Transgender Members In Your LDS Ward


The General Authorities have not said much about the issue of Transgener Mormons. I am sure more is to come but this was a fantastic interivew where I sat down with Brigit Pack, who is affiliated with North Star, and we discussed her experience of having a spouse that is transgender. It was an enlightening interview and I have had a new perspective ever since I was apart of it. Listen here
6. Home Teaching During Tragedy | The Story Behind Elder Holland’s #LDSconf Talk


More details about Elder Holland's story about the heartwrenching story of the loss of Austen Russell can be found in this interview. I chatted with Troy Russell, Austen's father, and his home teacher,]]>
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How I Lead as Stake President in Australia | An Interview With Robert Gordon https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-stake-president-in-australia-an-interview-with-robert-gordon/ Mon, 19 Dec 2016 16:37:59 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=30764 Robert Gordon is from New Zealand and currently lives in Brisbane, Australia. He has served as bishop, stake president, and in several mission presidencies. He also served a mission in Brisbane, Australia as a young man. In this interview he shares of his experience in leading and has many great stories to go along with it. 5 Leadership Principles Love the people (13:45) Build unity, starting with the presidency (16:43) Turn the keys of priesthood authority (23:58) Have a vision people can embrace and be careful with goals that don't mean anything. (28:28) Have competent people do the administering and don't sweat the small stuff (35:51) Episode Highlights Robert's background (02:39) How did it come to be that you were called as Stake President? (06:13) What's the process of getting called to a mission presidency? (09:20) Principle 1: Love the people (13:45) Principle 2: Build unity, starting with the presidency (16:43) What can a presidency to do establish presidency? (21:17) Principle 3: Turn the keys of priesthood authority (23:58) Principle 4: Have a vision people can embrace and be careful with goals that don't mean anything. (28:28) What was your process of setting goals? (31:37) Principle 5: Have competent people do the administering and don't sweat the small stuff (35:51) Any in your area that created a unique challenge? (39:07) How has your time in leadership made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (43:43) Robert Gordon is from New Zealand and currently lives in Brisbane, Australia. He has served as bishop, stake president, and in several mission presidencies. He also served a mission in Brisbane, Australia as a young man.
5 Leadership Principles

* Love the people (13:45)
* Build unity, starting with the presidency (16:43)
* Turn the keys of priesthood authority (23:58)
* Have a vision people can embrace and be careful with goals that don't mean anything. (28:28)
* Have competent people do the administering and don't sweat the small stuff (35:51)

Episode Highlights

* Robert's background (02:39)
* How did it come to be that you were called as Stake President? (06:13)
* What's the process of getting called to a mission presidency? (09:20)
* Principle 1: Love the people (13:45)
* Principle 2: Build unity, starting with the presidency (16:43)
* What can a presidency to do establish presidency? (21:17)
* Principle 3: Turn the keys of priesthood authority (23:58)
* Principle 4: Have a vision people can embrace and be careful with goals that don't mean anything. (28:28)
* What was your process of setting goals? (31:37)
* Principle 5: Have competent people do the administering and don't sweat the small stuff (35:51)
* Any in your area that created a unique challenge? (39:07)
* How has your time in leadership made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (43:43)
]]>
LeadingLDS clean 47:52
The Human Element is Crucial for Inspired Leadership | An Interview with Dr. Gregory Prince https://leadinglds.org/the-human-element-is-crucial-for-inspired-leadership-an-interview-with-dr-gregory-prince/ Tue, 13 Dec 2016 14:00:17 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3874 Dr. Gregory Prince was born and raised in Southern California. He served a mission in Brazil. After his mission he became a Dentist and later received a Ph.D in pathology. As a young elders quorum president in Washington DC he began researching and writing about the history of the priesthood in the LDS Church and produce a book called, Power from on High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood. He later met a mission president in Washington DC that would soon become a friend and change the course of his life. That mission president was Robert Wright who Dr. Prince co-authored David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism. This book project led Dr. Prince to meet the daughter of former Church Historian, Leonard Arrington, who asked him to write Leonard's biography. In this episode Dr. Prince discusses the role of history as it relates to doctrine of the Church. We also discuss what the realities of inspiration look like and how perfect revelation is received through mortals that can make mistakes. We also discuss how leaders can mentor lay members who struggle with some aspects of Church history. Episode Highlights How did the path of becoming an author begin for you? (03:21) Power from on High, The Development of Mormon Priesthood (05:55) Being asked to become David O. McKay's biographer (06:37) What did you learn from your research on the Priesthood that would help an Elders Quorum President to lead more effectively? (08:33) How Sidney Rigdon influenced the doctrine of the Priesthood? (11:26) Priesthood Authority vs. Priesthood Power (14:23) The significance of the temple endowment and missionaries (17:23) A brief synopsis of David O. McKay's biography and the Leonard Arrington biography (23:48) What comprises inspiration for our Church leaders? (30:23) Why should leaders feel comfortable saying "I don't know?" (33:13) Recognizing hyperbole in Church leadership inspiration (37:32) "Don't they realize we're just human beings doing our best?" (43:01) How different leaders see the relationship between truth and history (44:38) History can inform testimony but it is not testimony (48:56) What would you say to a leader that wants to use history to bring someone out of doubt? (50:27) How can a local leader get ahead of these historical data points so that people learn of sticky Church history from their bishop rather than online? (54:13) What can you tell us about Leonard the person that would encourage people to read his biography? (56:36) Would you agree that Leonard was a person that had a different viewpoint but still stayed in the Church and found room? (59:58) What about leadership to these two biographies teach us the best? (01:02:24) Over your time studying the history of the Church and researching some of the mistakes of prophets and seers, how have you become a better disciples of these prophets, seers, and revelators? (01:06:01) Links: Power from on High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism  Leonard Arrington and the Writing of Mormon History PBS Mormon Documentary President Kimball's talk where he mentions plateaus Dr. Gregory Prince was born and raised in Southern California. He served a mission in Brazil. After his mission he became a Dentist and later received a Ph.D in pathology. As a young elders quorum president in Washington DC he began researching and wri... Power from on High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood. He later met a mission president in Washington DC that would soon become a friend and change the course of his life. That mission president was Robert Wright who Dr. Prince co-authored David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism. This book project led Dr. Prince to meet the daughter of former Church Historian, Leonard Arrington, who asked him to write Leonard's biography.

In this episode Dr. Prince discusses the role of history as it relates to doctrine of the Church. We also discuss what the realities of inspiration look like and how perfect revelation is received through mortals that can make mistakes. We also discuss how leaders can mentor lay members who struggle with some aspects of Church history.
Episode Highlights

* How did the path of becoming an author begin for you? (03:21)
* Power from on High, The Development of Mormon Priesthood (05:55)
* Being asked to become David O. McKay's biographer (06:37)
* What did you learn from your research on the Priesthood that would help an Elders Quorum President to lead more effectively? (08:33)
* How Sidney Rigdon influenced the doctrine of the Priesthood? (11:26)
* Priesthood Authority vs. Priesthood Power (14:23)
* The significance of the temple endowment and missionaries (17:23)
* A brief synopsis of David O. McKay's biography and the Leonard Arrington biography (23:48)
* What comprises inspiration for our Church leaders? (30:23)
* Why should leaders feel comfortable saying "I don't know?" (33:13)
* Recognizing hyperbole in Church leadership inspiration (37:32)
* "Don't they realize we're just human beings doing our best?" (43:01)
* How different leaders see the relationship between truth and history (44:38)
* History can inform testimony but it is not testimony (48:56)
* What would you say to a leader that wants to use history to bring someone out of doubt? (50:27)
* How can a local leader get ahead of these historical data points so that people learn of sticky Church history from their bishop rather than online? (54:13)
* What can you tell us about Leonard the person that would encourage people to read his biography? (56:36)
* Would you agree that Leonard was a person that had a different viewpoint but still stayed in the Church and found room? (59:58)
* What about leadership to these two biographies teach us the best? (01:02:24)
* Over your time studying the history of the Church and researching some of the mistakes of prophets and seers, how have you become a better disciples of these prophets, seers, and revelators? (01:06:01)

Links:
Power from on High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood

David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism 

Leonard Arrington and the Writing of Mormon History

PBS Mormon Documentary

President Kimball's talk where he mentions plateaus]]>
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Leading Relief Society With Boundaries | How I Lead: President Amy Durham https://leadinglds.org/leading-relief-society-with-boundaries-how-i-lead-president-amy-durham/ Sat, 10 Dec 2016 19:34:48 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=30256 Amy Durham lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and is the Director of Production for Deseret Book. She was recently released as Relief Society president in her ward and has also had experience working in the Young Women program. In this episode we discuss how she led as Relief Society president, including what were the unique dynamics she faced as a single Relief Society president in a traditional family ward. She shares some incredible tips on how she handled Church welfare requests, and how she ministered to the many different demographics in her ward. 5 Leadership Principles Assess your own strengths as a leader (13:05) Delegate (16:30) Provide opportunities, not obligations (30:59) Sometimes it  is a jungle gym! (39:06) This is His gig! (42:17) Episode Highlights Rapid Fire Questions (04:09) What is your best advice for Young Women leaders? (07:50) How were you called as RS president? (09:05) "I don't have the Relief Society voice." (10:42) What processes did you go through to prepare to be RS Pres? (12:07) Principle 1: How did you assess your own strengths as a leader? (13:05) What are the demographics and unique challenges of your ward? (15:08) Principle 2: Delegate (16:30) What were you focusing on and not delegating to others? (18:28) What was your ward welfare process like and how did you approach it? (19:51) How did you tell people no? (28:23) Principle 3: Provide opportunities, not obligations (30:59) Why plan a weekly Relief Society activity? (36:27) Principle 4: Sometimes it's a jungle gym! (39:06) Principle 5: This is His gig! (42:17) What unique challenges did you face as a single Relief Society president? (45:55) What was your approach to visiting teaching? (51:08) As you have served as a Relief Society president, how has that made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (53:41) Amy's Food Order Packet Food Order Process Explanation Food Order Sample Menu Food Order Blank Menu For serving size menu see the Food Order Reference Guide Links: Like a Broken Vessel, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Amy Durham lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and is the Director of Production for Deseret Book. She was recently released as Relief Society president in her ward and has also had experience working in the Young Women program. In this episode we discuss how she led as Relief Society president, including what were the unique dynamics she faced as a single Relief Society president in a traditional family ward. She shares some incredible tips on how she handled Church welfare requests, and how she ministered to the many different demographics in her ward.

5 Leadership Principles

* Assess your own strengths as a leader (13:05)
* Delegate (16:30)
* Provide opportunities, not obligations (30:59)
* Sometimes it  is a jungle gym! (39:06)
* This is His gig! (42:17)

Episode Highlights

* Rapid Fire Questions (04:09)
* What is your best advice for Young Women leaders? (07:50)
* How were you called as RS president? (09:05)
* "I don't have the Relief Society voice." (10:42)
* What processes did you go through to prepare to be RS Pres? (12:07)
* Principle 1: How did you assess your own strengths as a leader? (13:05)
* What are the demographics and unique challenges of your ward? (15:08)
* Principle 2: Delegate (16:30)
* What were you focusing on and not delegating to others? (18:28)
* What was your ward welfare process like and how did you approach it? (19:51)
* How did you tell people no? (28:23)
* Principle 3: Provide opportunities, not obligations (30:59)
* Why plan a weekly Relief Society activity? (36:27)
* Principle 4: Sometimes it's a jungle gym! (39:06)
* Principle 5: This is His gig! (42:17)
* What unique challenges did you face as a single Relief Society president? (45:55)
* What was your approach to visiting teaching? (51:08)
* As you have served as a Relief Society president, how has that made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (53:41)

Amy's Food Order Packet

* Food Order Process Explanation
* Food Order Sample Menu
* Food Order Blank Menu
* For serving size menu see the Food Order Reference Guide

Links:
Like a Broken Vessel, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
]]>
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Preserving the Relationship When Loved Ones Believe Differently | An Interview With Jon Ogden https://leadinglds.org/an-interview-with-jon-ogden/ Tue, 06 Dec 2016 14:00:53 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=29769 Jon Ogden is the author of When Mormons Doubt: A Way to Save Relationships and Seek a Quality Life, as well as an Op-ed for the Salt Lake Tribune: “Belief in ‘Sad Heaven’ hurts relationships in era of Mormon doubt.” Interview Highlights How our perspective of the afterlife can hurt our family relations with those who disagree with us. (3:38) When relationships are defined by difference, it’s unhealthy. 5:40 Where did the concept of a “Sad Heaven” come from? 5:50 Reconsidering what constitutes success. 7:00 Will family relations be the way we think they will in Heaven? 8:00 Mr. Rogers & Pascal’s wager, “I love you just the way you are.” 10:10 Becoming closer to God by loving those as they are.  13:30 “You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.” The Hope of Eternal Family – President Henry B. Eyring August 2016 Ensign 14:33 Finding common ground between believers and doubters. 18:10 Doubting is wrestling at an intellectual level. 19:20 Finding beauty, goodness and truth in the church and appreciating it. 20:25 Being open to uncomfortable historical facts of our church. 23:46 Finding and embracing beauty all around. 28:52 When I followed my religion, I became the man I want to be.  31:49 Why do we worry when people leave the church? 34:10 What if they don’t return to our church? 39:00 Links: The Hope of Eternal Family—President Henry B. Eyring Jon Ogden is the author of When Mormons Doubt: A Way to Save Relationships and Seek a Quality Life, as well as an Op-ed for the Salt Lake Tribune: “Belief in ‘Sad Heaven’ hurts relationships in era of Mormon doubt.” Interview Highlights - When Mormons Doubt: A Way to Save Relationships and Seek a Quality Life, as well as an Op-ed for the Salt Lake Tribune: “Belief in ‘Sad Heaven’ hurts relationships in era of Mormon doubt.”
Interview Highlights

* How our perspective of the afterlife can hurt our family relations with those who disagree with us. (3:38)
* When relationships are defined by difference, it’s unhealthy. 5:40
* Where did the concept of a “Sad Heaven” come from? 5:50
* Reconsidering what constitutes success. 7:00
* Will family relations be the way we think they will in Heaven? 8:00
* Mr. Rogers & Pascal’s wager, “I love you just the way you are.” 10:10
* Becoming closer to God by loving those as they are.  13:30
* “You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.” The Hope of Eternal Family – President Henry B. Eyring August 2016 Ensign 14:33
* Finding common ground between believers and doubters. 18:10
* Doubting is wrestling at an intellectual level. 19:20
* Finding beauty, goodness and truth in the church and appreciating it. 20:25
* Being open to uncomfortable historical facts of our church. 23:46
* Finding and embracing beauty all around. 28:52
* When I followed my religion, I became the man I want to be.  31:49
* Why do we worry when people leave the church? 34:10
* What if they don’t return to our church? 39:00

Links:
The Hope of Eternal Family—President Henry B. Eyring]]>
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Being a Sunday Mom | How I Lead as Primary President https://leadinglds.org/being-a-sunday-mom-how-i-lead-as-primary-president/ Sat, 03 Dec 2016 14:00:51 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3976 In this episode of "How I Lead" we head back to Edmonton, Canada to speak with Danica Forsyth. Danica has been married for 7 years and is the mother of a 3 year old little daughter. Sister Forsyth was born and raised in Fort Macleod, Alberta before school took her to Edmonton where she met her husband. Through out her interview Danica discusses with us the challenges and blessings of serving in the primary for 7 years and most recently as the primary president. Danica is a registered nurse who works hard at putting her family first while continuing to magnify her calling. Not only is she a primary president but she is also a missionary...Danica shares with us how she introduced a life long pen pal from Japan to the restored gospel. In this episode of "How I Lead" we head back to Edmonton, Canada to speak with Danica Forsyth. Danica has been married for 7 years and is the mother of a 3 year old little daughter. Sister Forsyth was born and raised in Fort Macleod, 5 Leadership Principles:

* First calling first
* Communication
* Children are people too
* Go and Do
* Have fun

Links:
Interview with Danica's bishopric

Wendy Ulrich Interview

 ]]>
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The Role of Doubt and Faith | An Interview With Prof. Michael Goodman https://leadinglds.org/the-role-of-doubt-and-faith-an-interview-with-prof-michael-goodman/ Wed, 30 Nov 2016 02:00:19 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=29237 Michael Goodman is a member of the faculty in the Church History and Doctrine Department at BYU where he teaches various classes including Marriage and Family and Mission Prep. He describes his experience teaching at BYU as a “sheer delight.” Brother Goodman joined the Church at 18 and served a mission a year later in Bangkok Thailand. He served again in Thailand as a mission president 13 year later (at 33-years-old) where he served as presiding authority for the majority of the country. After his time has mission president Michael served as bishop of a BYU singles ward. Michael Goodman is a member of the faculty in the Church History and Doctrine Department at BYU where he teaches various classes including Marriage and Family and Mission Prep. He describes his experience teaching at BYU as a “sheer delight.
Brother Goodman has spoken at BYU Women’s Conference and at a BYU Devotional on the topic of seeking help during times of doubt. His counsel includes many gems and some of the key take-aways are:  help those who doubt to find answers through proper preparation (reading essays on LDS.org, etc.), recognize the extreme fear being experienced by the doubter as their entire belief system is crumbling.
Questions and Points Addressed:

How can we include those who doubt or have questions? First, create an environment of love and safety. We are all experiencing the gospel at our own pace and in our own way so steer toward a common ground and work from there.
How do we build a safe environment? Ask those who may threaten safety to help you create it. Make sure everyone knows that you do not fear questions.
What are the dangers of doubt? We tend to go to extremes and villainize or lionize doubt--both are hurtful. Doubt can be either beneficial or harmful. If the object of the doubt is false, doubt can be helpful. If the object of the doubt is true then doubt is typically more harmful. Either way, doubt is part of the belief spectrum and needs to be understood (doubt → hope → belief). Doubt does have consequences.
Does a change in policy mean that the policy was wrong? Change does not equate to error. Just because something has changed does not mean that it was wrong before and is now right. If you want to know something is a doctrine, check for these three things and the likelihood the thing is doctrine is higher:

Is it eternal (unchanged from dispensation to dispensation)?
Is it being taught by a united First Presidency and Quorum of Twelve Apostles?
Is it have to do with our salvation?



Great Quotes and Notes:

“People don’t grow if they don’t have hope...which is the gospel of Jesus Christ.”
“People want to help.”
“You can’t solve a problem you aren’t aware of.”
An admonition to believe is not an attempt to make those who doubt to feel guilty.
“Belief and doubt are living attitudes, and involve conduct on our part. Our only way, for example, of doubting, or refusing to believe, that a certain thing is, is continuing to act as if it were not.” -William James
“One of the surest ways of creating doubt in current prophets is to judge past prophets as having been in error.”
We follow living prophets because God is infallible and He is using the imperfect prophet to accomplish His work.
Heavenly Father wants us to use our agency. He wants us to learn truth and He is THE source of all truth and we need to involve Him in finding that truth.

Links:
BYU Speeches: Become a Seeker: The Way, the Truth, and the Life

BYU Devotional: "The Truth Shall Make You Free"

BYU: Bio - Michael Goodman

Daily Universe: BYU religion teacher’...]]>
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#GivingTuesday 2016 https://leadinglds.org/givingtuesday-2016/ Tue, 29 Nov 2016 17:17:49 +0000 http://leadinglds.org/?p=29293 Giving Tuesday is an opportunity to give back after a long weekend of Black Friday deals and Cyber Monday steals. The holidays are an exciting time and there are many loved ones finding the perfect gift for you. But on #GivingTuesday, you have the opportunity to give back to a cause you believe in. At LeadingLDS we encourage you to consider the many ways you can serve those around you and possibly contribute to a non-profit organization. Giving Tuesday is an opportunity to give back after a long weekend of Black Friday deals and Cyber Monday steals. The holidays are an exciting time and there are many loved ones finding the perfect gift for you. But on #GivingTuesday,
There are many valiant non-profit organizations that are digging wells, providing clean water, or helping the homeless. But in a time when society puts too much weight on who is leading our country and doesn't consider the local lay leaders we interact with on a daily or weekly basis. If we want to change the world we must start with the leadership closest to us. For this reason LeadingLDS was created; to enhance the lay leadership ability of those asked to lead beyond their capacity. Those asked to handle situations beyond their communications skills. Those that feel alone because they were asked to lead, but they don't know where to start.

On this #GivingTuesday we ask you to help us with our mission in making leadership possible for those not prepared to lead. If we enhance our local leadership, our society is more likely to succeed, and if we all succeed we can then help those around the world needing so much more. It all begins with LEADERSHIP.



 ]]>
LeadingLDS clean 5:30
Home Teaching During Tragedy | The Story Behind Elder Holland’s #LDSconf Talk https://leadinglds.org/home-teaching-during-tragedy-the-story-behind-elder-hollands-ldsconf-talk/ Tue, 22 Nov 2016 13:00:29 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3989 In October 2016 General Conference, Elder Holland told a story about the tragic death of Troy Russell's son, Austen, and how he was helped out of despair by a "home teacher extraordinaire," John Manning. In this interview we talk with Troy and John as they give more background to the story and the tender mercies that the Lord bestowed upon the Russell family and their surrounding community. Troy shares how it was ward leaders, ward friends, and community that didn't know what to do, but still showed love to their family, that really made the different and helped them through this tragic time in their life. John Manning talks about the friendship that was established long before the the passing of Austen that made it possible to be there for John as his home teacher, but most importantly, as his friend. The early morning basketball games gave Troy something to do and to get active again. Now the basketball group wears a jerseys that proudly displays Austen's logo in his memory. The Christlike love and service that came out of this story has truly honored Austen and will inspire all that listen to be a true home or visiting teacher. The transcript of this episode is available below. Links: In Loving Memory of Austen Russell Facebook Page Emissaries to the Church, by Elder Holland Lessons Learned at Liberty Jail, by Elder Holland "Remember Lot's Wife": Faith is for the Future, by Elder Holland Interview Transcription LeadingLDS (LLDS): We are talking with, Troy Russell and John Manning. How are you Troy and John? Troy: Good! Thank you. John: Great! Thank you. LLDS: Great, now, as we will talk about in this episode, John, you are actually Troy's home teacher and so this may be the first recorded home teaching appointment ever in the Church. John: Yeah, it's getting close to the end of the month so I figured I'd come down anyway. LLDS: Yeah, you know, I got to encourage you to get over to Troy's house and do an interview and we'll call it as your home teaching visit. [laughter] I'm joking, of course. ... Many people will be familiar with your story, Troy, and in which John played a role in and definitely a story we heard in Conference and that we were touched by as Elder Holland talked about it and shared that story about home teaching but also the story, Troy, of the tragic passing of your son Austen and we'll get into those details but before we jump into that story and how that Conference talk came to be, Troy, let's start with you and maybe just give us a background of who you are, where you live, what you do for a living. What do we need to know about you Troy? Troy: Well I was born in Ohio, my dad was in the Air Force, and so every 3-4 years of my childhood we would move and I spent most of my high school years and half my middle school years in Mesa, Arizona where I attended Mountain View High School there and went up to Ricks for a year and then I served a mission in Perth, Australia and came home to Utah where my dad and stepmom had moved while I was out of high school and went to Weber State where I met my wife, Deedra. She played soccer there for 5 years and then when we both graduated we went to Portland Oregon where I went to chiropractic school there and ended up here in Henderson, Nevada. I've been working as a chiropractor since 2002 here. LLDS: How long have you lived in that ward that you are currently in? 09:07 Troy: We moved into this house about a month or two after Austen was born, and now it has been about 10 years. nwo the ward has changed a few times through boundary changes, but we have been in the same house a little over 10 years. 10:26 LLDS: John, what about you? What led you to Henderson? John: I graduated from BYU, got a Masters at Utah State and back then there were lots of good jobs in Las Vegas so I came down in '97 and housing was very affordable. I'm a civil engineer and there's a lot of work here. Yeah, In October 2016 General Conference, Elder Holland told a story about the tragic death of Troy Russell's son, Austen, and how he was helped out of despair by a "home teacher extraordinaire," John Manning. - In October 2016 General Conference, Elder Holland told a story about the tragic death of Troy Russell's son, Austen, and how he was helped out of despair by a "home teacher extraordinaire," John Manning.<br /> <br /> In this interview we talk with Troy and John as they give more background to the story and the tender mercies that the Lord bestowed upon the Russell family and their surrounding community. Troy shares how it was ward leaders, ward friends, and community that didn't know what to do, but still showed love to their family, that really made the different and helped them through this tragic time in their life.<br /> <br /> John Manning talks about the friendship that was established long before the the passing of Austen that made it possible to be there for John as his home teacher, but most importantly, as his friend. The early morning basketball games gave Troy something to do and to get active again. Now the basketball group wears a jerseys that proudly displays Austen's logo in his memory.<br /> <br /> The Christlike love and service that came out of this story has truly honored Austen and will inspire all that listen to be a true home or visiting teacher.<br /> <br /> Transcript available. LeadingLDS clean 1:07:54 Building Bridges Before Baptisms | How I Lead as Stake Public Affairs Specialist https://leadinglds.org/building-bridges-before-baptisms-how-i-lead-as-stake-public-affairs-specialist/ Sat, 19 Nov 2016 13:00:58 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3975 Kyle Morey is from Indianapolis Indiana and served as his stake's public affairs representative during the open house and dedication of the Indianapolis Indiana temple. He also recently wrote the book Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its Potential to Answer Yours. Kyle and his family of 7 are currently in Omaha, Nebraska as they travel and tour on a 3 year personal service mission. Kyle Morey is from Indianapolis Indiana and served as his stake's public affairs representative during the open house and dedication of the Indianapolis Indiana temple. He also recently wrote the book Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its P... Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its Potential to Answer Yours
. Kyle and his family of 7 are currently in Omaha, Nebraska as they travel and tour on a 3 year personal service mission.
Episode Highlights
This episode explores the calling of stake public affairs representative and Kyle's experience in that calling.

* Kyle's book- Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its Potential to Answer Yours (8:45)
* Public affairs in the LDS Church Handbook (14:15)
* LDS public affairs in Utah (15:00)
* Focusing on building bridges instead of baptizing Connecting with community leaders to give them a positive opinion of our church and sharing that Mormons are all about Christ How Kyle Morey was called as public affairs representative (17:00)
* Separating missionary work and public affairs (26:00)
* Public affairs during Joseph Smith's time (29:00)
* How public affairs helped defend the church during the building of the Indianapolis Indiana temple (31:30)
* Kyle's experiences as public relations representative during the open house of the Indianapolis Indiana temple (33:00)

Kyle's 5 Leaderships Principles (52:00)

* Prepare each day
* Be willing to be vulnerable
* Remain teachable
* Be patient and understanding
* Teach and lead more by what I do, not by what I say

Links:
Starting and Growing My Business (LDS Resource)

Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its Potential to Answer Yours

Kyle's Family Blog

The Power of Everyday Missionaries, by Clayton Christensen

The Power of Vulnerability (TED Talk)

How to Invite Others to Christ Using Your Digital Device

Geoff Thatcher Interview About Public Affairs

 ]]> LeadingLDS clean 1:11:43 Learning Leadership from My Father | An Interview with Debbie Marriott Harrison https://leadinglds.org/learning-leadership-from-my-father-an-interview-with-debbie-marriott-harrison/ Tue, 15 Nov 2016 14:00:33 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3964 Debbie Marriott Harrison is currently the Global Culture Officer and a member of the Board of Directors for Marriott Hotels and is the daughter of J.W. Marriott Jr. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a major in History and a minor in French and is the mother of five children. She has served in numerous leadership callings, including more than 33 years in the Young Women program, as well as Stake Public Affairs director. She and her husband served as mission president of the Belgium Brussels Mission from 2000-2003. Upon her return, after more than 25 years as a stay-at-home mother, Sister Harrison re-entered the workforce working in the Government Affairs Department for Marriott Hotels. In this interview Sister Harrison discusses lessons she has learned from her professional career that she has applied in her church callings as well as ways church service has prepared her for and continues to help her succeed in the business world. How have callings or assignments in the church prepared her for success in the business world? (15:45) Learning to stand and speak or present to groups of people from an early age How to effectively run a meeting How to get along with people Learning at above all love and relationships of trust are key in both settings As a missionary, and then as a lobbyist, learning to listen to someone else’s point of view learning from rejection Lessons learned from her father, J.W. Marriott Jr (18:25) No job is worth sacrificing your health Be fully committed Learn how to say no Experience builds resilience Human touch matters Human Touch Matters (20:10) We must have a human touch and express compassion to those whom we serve Number one leadership quality is to be a good listener “What do you think?” – the four most important words, as learned from experience with President Eisenhower Learning How to Say No (22:20) Realize we can’t be everywhere and everything to everybody all at once We should take joy in what you’re doing and be present in the moment Must step back and take stock of our lives to examine if we are in balance Must occasionally so no and we shouldn’t feel guilty about it When we overextend and are out of balance we risk burnout Focus on the Individual (24:45) Love the people you work with and serve Pray over them by name and get to know them individually When they know you care about them they will do anything for you Second important key is to have fun with them rather than only serving out of duty Help others to see the vision (30:30) Train, train, train – the church as numerous great training programs Know the limitations of people and do your best to help them Is it a good fit? Is it something that’s going to help this person perform? Sometimes they just don’t know how to do it. Once they do, they become motivated to do it How Sister Harrison feels leadership callings have made her a better disciple of Jesus Christ (33:00) “Do I really believe in this?” Through our service and our love toward those whom we serve we come to better emmulate the Savior We learn Christ-like characteristics as we serve and support one another despite our weaknesses and we try not to judge Additional Links: What This Working Daughter Learned from her Working Father by Debbie Marriott Harrison Without Reservations by J.W. (Bill) Marriott Jr. Debbie Marriott Harrison is currently the Global Culture Officer and a member of the Board of Directors for Marriott Hotels and is the daughter of J.W. Marriott Jr. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a major in History and a minor in Fren...
In this interview Sister Harrison discusses lessons she has learned from her professional career that she has applied in her church callings as well as ways church service has prepared her for and continues to help her succeed in the business world.
How have callings or assignments in the church prepared her for success in the business world? (15:45)

* Learning to stand and speak or present to groups of people from an early age
* How to effectively run a meeting
* How to get along with people
* Learning at above all love and relationships of trust are key in both settings
* As a missionary, and then as a lobbyist, learning to listen to someone else’s point of view learning from rejection

Lessons learned from her father, J.W. Marriott Jr (18:25)

* No job is worth sacrificing your health
* Be fully committed
* Learn how to say no
* Experience builds resilience
* Human touch matters

Human Touch Matters (20:10)

* We must have a human touch and express compassion to those whom we serve
* Number one leadership quality is to be a good listener
* “What do you think?” – the four most important words, as learned from experience with President Eisenhower

Learning How to Say No (22:20)

* Realize we can’t be everywhere and everything to everybody all at once
* We should take joy in what you’re doing and be present in the moment
* Must step back and take stock of our lives to examine if we are in balance
* Must occasionally so no and we shouldn’t feel guilty about it
* When we overextend and are out of balance we risk burnout

Focus on the Individual (24:45)

* Love the people you work with and serve
* Pray over them by name and get to know them individually
* When they know you care about them they will do anything for you
* Second important key is to have fun with them rather than only serving out of duty

Help others to see the vision (30:30)

* Train, train, train – the church as numerous great training programs
* Know the limitations of people and do your best to help them
* Is it a good fit? Is it something that’s going to help this person perform?
* Sometimes they just don’t know how to do it. Once they do, they become motivated to do it

How Sister Harrison feels leadership callings have made her a better disciple of Jesus Christ (33:00)

* “Do I really believe in this?”
* Through our service and our love toward those whom we serve we come to better emmulate the Savior
* We learn Christ-like characteristics as we serve and support one another despite our weaknesses and we try not to judge

Additional Links:
What This Working Daughter Learned from her Working Father by Debbie Marriott Harrison

http://leadinglds.com/?p=3952 In this episode of the How I Lead segment, we head down to Austin, Texas to speak with Michelle Kaley. Michelle is from Southern California who is a mother of four and has been a dance instructor for over 22 years. If life isn't busy enough being a mother and working she is also serving as the young women president in her ward. In this episode of the How I Lead segment, we head down to Austin, Texas to speak with Michelle Kaley. Michelle is from Southern California who is a mother of four and has been a dance instructor for over 22 years.
In her early teens Michelle was a victim of sexual abuse by multiple abusers. This lead to promiscuity, partying and being disfellowshipped before she was 16 years of age. She met her future husband at the age of 17 and introduced him to the Gospel. He was baptized soon after and they were eventually sealed in the temple for time and eternity.

Michelle's trials with sexual abuse did not end there. She was later raped by a coworker. Michelle's experiences with sexual abuse has given her a unique perspective in regards to the atonement and how to teach sexual purity to the youth of today. She discusses her approach to talking to her young women about the law of chastity and repentance and how bishops and other leaders can approach youth who might feel that their value and Virtue is lost or diminished.
5 PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP

* Love them as he would, treat them as he would.
* Be a coach, not a boss.
* Teach them to lead.
* Make it about them.
* The gospel is designed for the individual.
* Always have a Plan B and C and D and maybe even an E.

 ]]>
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How to Disagree as a Leader Without Making an Enemy | An Interview with Gary Rhoads https://leadinglds.org/how-to-disagree-as-a-leader-without-making-an-enemy-an-interview-with-gary-rhoads/ Tue, 08 Nov 2016 14:00:29 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3945 Gary Rhoads grew up in Pocatello, Idaho and received his undergraduate degree and MBA from Idaho State University. He holds a PhD in Marketing from Texas Tech University. [audio mp3="http://s3.amazonaws.com/podcasts.leadinglds.com/2016/2016-10-24-Gary-Rhoads.mp3"][/audio] Gary Rhoads grew up in Pocatello, Idaho and received his undergraduate degree and MBA from Idaho State University. He holds a PhD in Marketing from Texas Tech University. [audio mp3="http://s3.amazonaws.com/podcasts.leadinglds.
Recently at BYU Education week Dr. Rhoads taught his Stop Think & Lead approach—teaching how to make a point without making an enemy. He's an expert in how to deal with critical situations and how to avoid conflict.

In this episode he shares his great knowledge how we as leaders (and even just people in any relationship) can best deal with conflict and not make enemies in the process.
Episode Highlights
Introduction to Stop Think & Lead approach (11:45)

3 types of people in conflict:

* Robotic- following the manual, stating the facts
* Pooh Bear- avoiding the situation
* Dish Out- makes a point but makes an enemy

Learn skills without having regrets (13:30)

Similar to diving certification- Stop Think Breathe (15:00)

Stop- don't react, do no harm- most people fail to do this Stopping tactic- acknowledge concern (17:00)

Think- What outcomes do I want? (17:30)

Lead- Take action
Examples of the Stop, Think, Lead Approach
Example 1: Bishop vs. Sister Stone (19:00)

There are multiple outcomes in situations (25:00)

U turn stopping tactic (28:40)

If you feel angry, say the kindest thing you can say.

Calming tactic (30:00)- This is how I see it...

Example 2: Conflict between husband and wife (33:00)

Keep walking and come back with a plan (41:00)

Help to a bishop dealing with conflict (43:00)

Tactic that works the best dealing with conflict in the church (45:00)

Example 3: Pinewood Derby conflict (46:00)

Example of U-turns (53:30)- truthful kind words help you gain back control
Links:
Stinkomojo Website]]> LeadingLDS clean 59:12 How I Lead in a “Singles Emphasis Ward” | An Interview with Lisa Gregory https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-in-a-singles-emphasis-ward-an-interview-with-lisa-gregory/ Sat, 05 Nov 2016 13:00:21 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3932 Lisa Gregory currently serves as a Stake Young Women Secretary in the Washington D.C. area. She has previously served as a counselor in her ward Relief Society and Primary presidencies and served a mission in Japan. Lisa Gregory currently serves as a Stake Young Women Secretary in the Washington D.C. area. She has previously served as a counselor in her ward Relief Society and Primary presidencies and served a mission in Japan.
As a young single adult in the Church, Lisa spent time in Boston, Virginia, New York and Atlanta before returning to the Washington D.C. area. It was there that, now as a mid-single adult, she was called by her stake president to assist in organizing and serving as co-chair of the first mid-single adult program on the East coast; a calling she would serve in for nearly four years. In this interview Lisa shares her perspective on some of the struggles that single individuals in the church face and how her stake has worked to address those concerns, specifically among the mid-single adult population, by establishing a “Mid-Singles Emphasis Ward.”

In Lisa’s opinion, one of the most difficult aspects about being single in the church is judgment (16:30)

* Judgment of self – Is it me?
* Judgement from others
* Real judgment
* Perceived judgement

What leaders did to help Lisa and those that worked with her feel more connected to the family culture of the church in her calling working with other Mid-Single Adults (21:30)

* Leaders valued input. They didn’t assume to know what was best for singles in the stake.
* Stake leaders leaned on and expressed confidence in the Singles leadership that had been called.
* They listened to and followed input from the Singles leadership
* Made the focus on serving singles in the stake a partnership between the Singles leadership, the stake presidency and the Lord.

Structure and parameters of a Mid-Singles Emphasis Ward (24:30)

* One ward in the stake designated as the Mid-Singles Emphasis Ward
* Anyone in the stake between the designated ages can transfer their records into the Emphasis Ward (an existing normal family ward)
* If an individual transfers their records in they are expected to attend and be active in that ward
* Individuals must be willing to receive a calling and assignments (including home and visiting teaching assignments) in that ward
* A Mid-Singles Gospel Doctrine class is created but singles are fully integrated into Sacrament Meeting and Relief Society and Priesthood quorum meetings
* Separate Mid-Singles Activity committee (in addition to any ward-level activities committee)
* Once a month Saturday activity and once a month mid-week activities held (to accommodate singles who choose to remain in their home ward)
* Regional and multi-stake Mid-Single Adult conferences and institute classes also held

Leadership Principles

* Clear delegation – follow up and gratitude are critical for any leadership calling in the church (36:00)

* Other’s blessings can be “short-circuited” when we don’t allow them to serve and become involved
* Leaders are in danger of losing sight of the ministry of their calling when they overwhelm themselves taking on too much
* Leaders can help others develop as leaders as responsibilities are delegated to them
* By following up and holding individuals accountable we show them that their contributions matter
* Helping others see the vision and showing gratitude for their efforts is a key to this process


* Be clear with yourself and others around what the Lord is calling you...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:01:34
Loving Our LGBT Brethren & Sisters | An Interview with Bishop Carl Hull https://leadinglds.org/loving-our-lgbt-brethren-sisters-an-interview-with-bishop-carl-hull/ Tue, 01 Nov 2016 12:00:04 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3923 Carl Hull was raised in Heber City, UT and later attended high school in Orem and college at Brigham Young University in Provo, UT. He served a mission in Chile and currently serves as Bishop of a ward in Highland, Utah. Carl Hull was raised in Heber City, UT and later attended high school in Orem and college at Brigham Young University in Provo, UT. He served a mission in Chile and currently serves as Bishop of a ward in Highland, Utah. mormonandgay.lds.org

Carl Hull was raised in Heber City, UT and later attended high school in Orem and college at Brigham Young University in Provo, UT. He served a mission in Chile and currently serves as Bishop of a ward in Highland, Utah. Melody is from Carlsbad, California and has held many positions in the Church serving and loving others.

Carl’s journey of understanding started in 2014 when he was serving on the High Council in his stake and the Stake President arranged to have Joseph Stith speak about his experience with same-sex attraction. (Joseph is President of North Star and has been on LeadingLDS previously—How to Support Transgender Members In Your LDS Ward and How to Support Gay Members In Your LDS Ward – Part 2.) Prior to this experience, Carl viewed those who identified as gay as “just plain evil” but during Joseph’s presentation Carl started to view him with compassion. As a result of this experience, Carl wrote a post on Ben Schilaty’s blog titled The Eyes of My Understanding Were Opened and created a presentation on loving and accepting those who struggle with SSA, which he gave to his ward—adults and youth separately—with the goal of creating greater openness and understanding.

Carl’s change of heart is one focused on loving others and founded on the teachings of the Savior and modern-day prophets and will help you to be a better, more loving disciple of Jesus Christ.
Links:
Mormon and Gay (LDS Church Sponsored)

North Star]]>
LeadingLDS clean 53:18
Mentoring Relief Society Presidents Through Love | How I Lead: DeAnna Murphy https://leadinglds.org/mentoring-relief-society-presidents-through-love-how-i-lead-deanna-murphy/ Sat, 29 Oct 2016 11:05:29 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3916 DeAnna Murphy serves as a Stake Relief Society President in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She also runs Strength Strategy where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. DeAnna Murphy serves as a Stake Relief Society President in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She also runs Strength Strategy where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. Strength Strategy where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. She was born in Provo, UT, but grew up in Canada. She met her husband at Ricks College, and had 3 children.

DeAnna shares a touching spiritual moment she had during General Conference a few months after giving birth to a daughter with spina bifida (9:14). She said “It helped her look forward rather than focusing on the challenges that were to come."

* United in hearts and mind: Looking forward, rather than seeing challenges and obstacles. “If ye are not one then ye are not mine.” How do we get everyone on the same page and get a 360 degree perspective. (13:30)
* Talk to leaders about where their strengths are, “Where is Zion happening here and now?” (16:00)
* “Stop looking at what’s wrong and focus on what is right, and how can we get more of it?” (16:55)
* Differently Imperfect: When we are authentic with others, and ourselves we can progress (18:15).
* Don’t judge. The first thing the Savior did is love. (21:45)
* As a Stake Relief Society President, “Here is why I’m here.” D&C 43:8-9 & 16 (23:15)
* Uplifted and edified together: Monthly One on One visits (24:19) to talk about many things including their personal life, and reviewed the questions “What has the Spirit taught you this month? What is working well and what keeps you up at night?”
* How to not start from a deficit point of view? (29:38)
* DeAnna's experience being called as the Stake Relief Society President (31:30)
* “If I love them, they will find their own way.” (36:08)
* We need to know who the leaders are (37:25)
* Finding direction and goal setting (41:27)
* Mosiah 4:11-12 Always rejoice and be filled with the love of God (53:24)

Links:
Wendy Ulrich Interview

Weakness is Not a Sin, By Wendy Ulrich

Strengths Strategy Website
Written Transcript
Kurt Francom (LLDS): Wow, that's impactful story and it's obvious why that stands out in your mind. So where is it that you live now? [00:11:00]

DeAnna: We are in Minneapolis, Minnesota and live in the Minneapolis, Minnesota stake in a suburb of Minneapolis.

LLDS: So you can't stay away from the Mall of America right? You just go whenever you can?

DeAnna: I'm never going to say that I have the shopping bug. Absolutely.

LLDS: Nice. Yeah, I always love. I've been at Minneapolis few times and I was just standing by the mall. You know, people from about the Mall of America and they always just sort of roll their eyes thinking, "Boy, if that thing went away. I don't think anybody would complain." So how many kids do you have?

DeAnna: We have three children and they're all grown. Our disabled daughter is our second child, and we have two sons, one on either side.

LLDS: Wow.

DeAnna: So beautiful family. We love them very much.

LLDS: That's awesome.

DeAnna: Again, probably both of us came from large families, we probably would have had a larger family. Although the disability that our daughter has is in both of our families. We both have siblings with it and my mother had siblings with it. We had a 50% chance going forward. [00:12:00] And so, this wasn't in the cards for us to have a big family.

LLDS: Yeah, wow.

DeAnna: Although we've raised nieces and nephews and had opportun...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:17:13
What I Learned About Leadership When My 2nd Counselor Left the Church https://leadinglds.org/what-i-learned-about-leadership-when-my-2nd-counselor-left-the-church/ Tue, 25 Oct 2016 11:45:36 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3902 In August of 2015 I was released as bishop, but my second counselor didn't show up to be release. I was concerned about what he was going through. In August of 2015 I was released as bishop, but my second counselor didn't show up to be release. I was concerned about what he was going through. .
Thankfully my friendship with Heath has continued. We have had many uplifting conversations over lunch. These discussions were so uplifting that Heath suggested I interview him for my podcast. He was mainly joking, but I liked the idea. It turned out to be a special experience for me. I have learned so much about faith and testimony, and what leaders need to be aware of when members in their ward doubt.
.
I strongly encourage you to listen to the episode above and then share it with a leader and a friend.
Episode Summary
Heath is an immigration attorney in Salt Lake City, UT. He completed his undergraduate work at Brigham Young University-Idaho before graduating from the J. Reuben Clark Law School at Brigham Young University. He became active in the LDS Church as a Junior in high school and later served a mission to Ecuador. He has served as Elders Quorum President and most recently as Second Counselor in the bishopric when Kurt (podcast host) served as bishop. He, his wife and their three kids stopped attending church the day the bishopric was dissolved and in June 2016 chose to remove their names from church records.
.
In this podcast Heath tells his story of the doubts he had, his struggles with uncertainty, the day he finally got an answer and how he has begun to feel more at peace since discovering others like him who are struggling with similar issues but who believe in the church and are still able to serve.
.
Kurt also explores one of the most difficult questions facing leaders in the church: How to encourage individuals who are struggling in their faith—in their quest for certainty—without discouraging them or putting too much pressure on them to get there?
Podcast Summary with time marks (Transcript Available Below):

* Began to have concerns about certain aspects of church history in 2006 as a student at BYU-I (8:30)
* Began reading Rough Stone Rolling, a biography of Joseph Smith by author Richard Bushman
* Took a class in law school entitled "Joseph Smith and the Law" that caused further doubts on what he had read (11:20)
* Soon after law school, took a job at a non-profit in Salt Lake City and was called to serve as Elders Quorum President (13:45)
* Became consumed with the goal of extinguishing all doubts in order to feel like a more effective leader
* Continually prayed, fasted, attended the temple and did all of the things he was taught to do in order to receive the testimony he desired
* Feelings of uncertainty intensified when he was called as Second Counselor in the bishopric, as he felt he was supposed to know all of the answers whenever there was a question posed to him
* Desired to have the kind of testimony Elder Holland speaks of, one that is able to warm the hands of others, but got to a point where he could no longer say that Joseph Smith was a prophet.
* As he wanted to know more and more if Joseph was a prophet, and feeling like he couldn't get an answer or couldn't recognize it, he became increasingly depressed. Questioned if the problem was him. Was he not good enough? (24:00)
* Received an answer one Sunday afternoon that provided relief for a time. That relief was gradually replaced with thoughts of,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:05:25
How I Lead as Primary President | An Interview with Ladean Anderson https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-primary-president-an-interview-with-ladean-anderson/ Sat, 22 Oct 2016 14:07:50 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3890 Ladean Anderson is a stake primary president in Ithica, Michigan. In this interview we discover how she approaches her calling in the unique area where she lives. Ladean Anderson is a stake primary president in Ithica, Michigan. In this interview we discover how she approaches her calling in the unique area where she lives.
What is your typical approach on Sundays and what do you ask of your counselors? (13:30)


* Goal is to have monthly contact with ward Primary Presidencies (call / email / text / personal visit)


How can we better support ward Primary Presidencies and help them to lead beyond week-to-week administrative tasks? (15:00)


* You are not alone
* Reach out to priesthood leaders and other members of your Ward Council


How the Savior and the Church provide a way for our children to be strengthened (19:12)


* “The world will teach our children if we do not, and children are capable of learning all the world will teach them at a very young age. What we want them to know five years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today. Teach them in every circumstance; let every dilemma, every consequence, every trial that they may face provide an opportunity to teach them how to hold on to gospel truths.” Rosemary Wixom - Stay on the Path - October 2010 General Conference

* Nursery is taught, “I am a Child of God”
* Junior Primary taught how to choose the right
* Senior Priary taught how to be valiant in keeping their covenants




Be a student of Handbook 2, Chapter 3 - Leadership in the Church of Jesus Christ (21:05)


* Study in Presidency meetings.


* Two phrases I live by in preparation and planning (21:52)

* Preparation = Revelation

* The introduction to Handbook 2 begins by saying, “The Lord admonished, “Let every man learn his duty, and to act in the office in which he is appointed, in all diligence” (D&C 107:99). Church leaders seek personal revelation to help them learn and fulfill the duties of their callings. Studying the scriptures and the teachings of latter-day prophets will help leaders understand and fulfill their duties. The Lord has admonished leaders to treasure up in their minds continually the words of God so they will be receptive to the influence of the Spirit (see D&C 84:85).Leaders also learn their duties by studying the instructions in Church handbooks. These instructions can facilitate revelation if they are used to provide an understanding of principles, policies, and procedures to apply while seeking the guidance of the Spirit.”
* “It might be wise to look at the handbooks and even the scriptures not as checklists or detailed scripts, but rather as opportunities to prepare our minds and hearts to receive divine inspiration for our responsibilities”
LeadingLDS clean 32:55
5 Prophets Overwhelmed by Their Call to Leadership https://leadinglds.org/5-prophets-overwhelmed-by-their-call-to-leadership/ Tue, 18 Oct 2016 20:53:26 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3864 Has the "loneliness of leadership" gotten you down? Do you feel inadequate or unmotivated in your calling? In this episode brother Mark Grandstaff Ph.D reads and article that he wrote on the struggles that sometimes beset us as leaders. He provides us with wonderful examples of prophets who have felt the crushing weight of their stewardships as well. He also discusses with us his own version of a faith crisis in his life. Brother Grandstaff was born in Detroit Michigan. He was raised Catholic and served in two different branches of the military, the Navy and the Air Force. It was during this period of his life when he was introduced to the Restored Gospel. He received a Ph.D in American history and was a professor at Brigham Young University for 17 years. Listen in as Brother Grandstaff also shares with us how he had the opportunity to team up with Bronco Mendenhall and mentor some of the BYU football players. Has the "loneliness of leadership" gotten you down? Do you feel inadequate or unmotivated in your calling? In this episode brother Mark Grandstaff Ph.D reads and article that he wrote on the struggles that sometimes beset us as leaders. Bronco Mendenhall and Stephen Covey.  An emeritus associate professor of History and Institutional Leadership at Brigham Young University, he has lectured at UC Berkeley, UCLA, Oxford, the London School of Economics, The University of Victoria, New Zealand and The University of Maryland, College Park.  He assists people in getting to know themselves better through tying their work into their larger life journey — hence, finding a renewed sense of calling and mission, excitement, and satisfaction in their careers and lives.  His Church assignments have spanned Ward, Stake and Area callings.  He and his spouse, Amy L. Dixon, Esq., reside in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA and have recently returned from a mission to Frankfurt, Germany.
Enter Mark...
The Journey Back:  Vision, Crises, and the Role of God in Our Lives.
We are all on a journey — A journey back to God who gave us life.  And as religious leadership, we are here to provide vision and work with people so that they might develop their God-given attributes.  As President Lorenzo Snow explained, “Our spirit birth gave us godlike capabilities.  We were born in the image of god our Father; He begot us like Himself. There is the nature of deity in the composition of our spiritual organization; in our spiritual birth our Father transmitted to us the capabilities, powers and faculties which He Himself possessed. . . .”  (The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, comp. Clyde J. Williams, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1984, p. 4).

Indeed, as it is recorded in D&C 4 and 2 Peter 1, we are one with the Divine Nature.  Our leadership calling is to help people understand this.  We are not earning the celestial kingdom, as I once heard, rather we are returning after having recognized that it is our internal, external, and eternal home.  

In my 40+ years in the Church (I was a twenty-year old convert) — most of them in some kind of leadership position — I learned that yes, the Saints need Jesus personally, but usually what they need is for another person to be a Christ to them.  I often have had to ask myself what does it mean for me “to be Jesus” in my work, my relationships (especially with family), my ward and the world.

Most of my time was taken up in calling, encouraging and pointing out the hand of the Lord in a given person’s life.  I usually started by reviewing Christ’s sojourn.  A careful reading of Matthew 3, 4 and 10 demonstrates that Christ was baptized, acclaimed of God and then tested, proved and taught while in the desert.  When he was proved, he went out and called twelve others to be his inner council and students.  Those whom he called recognized that Christ offered them a vocation (a way and purpose in life) which went beyond what they did as a job.  Who better to show them the way than a man who was able to overcome the world through His own series of crises by continually choosing God’s purposes for His life.  Times of testing Christ’s sense of vocation included the desert and the cross.  And the Lord’s time in the Garden demonstrated to God again that, despite the Savior’s pain, He was willing to have the Father’s will be done.  He chose God and His ultimate purpose — to overcome death and atone for mankind’s sins.  

I do not know of many Mormons who overcame the world without at some time reaching a crisis...]]> LeadingLDS clean 45:06 Connecting With Youth | How I Lead as Young Women President https://leadinglds.org/connecting-with-youth-how-i-lead-as-young-women-president/ Sat, 15 Oct 2016 15:30:38 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3857 Angie Young is a mother of 3 young girls and serves as a Young Women President, just outside of Ogden in Clinton, Utah. She was married in the Salt Lake Temple to her husband that she met online. When asked what makes her a unique Mormon, she says, "Her time away from the church in her early youth, gives her a unique perspective on the gospel.” She currently works from home in addition to being a mom, and has makeup line called, “Younique.” Angie Young is a mother of 3 young girls and serves as a Young Women President, just outside of Ogden in Clinton, Utah. She was married in the Salt Lake Temple to her husband that she met online. When asked what makes her a unique Mormon, she says, Younique.”

5 Key Leadership Principles


* You gotta have love (11:25)

* Overcomes  the challenge of having a large group of children


* Know their story (11:55)

* When you know about them it’s easier to love them and apply them to the program.
* Love them through their challenges
* 13:15 use social media to contact them

* Anytime you know of something to encourage or support them


* 14:16 Be with them, be true and connected with them in the minute.


* Getting to know you activity (15:08)

* Write numbers on a beach ball then play music.  When the music stops, which ever number your right thumb is closest to it corresponds with a question.  The girl with the ball answers the question along with anyone else who would like to.  Quirky questions are the best.  An example is, “If your life was a book, what would the title be?”
* Making Fudge in ziplock bags.


* Do as I do (17:33)

* Never ask the girls to do something you won’t do yourself.  An example of this is a service project at girls camp.
* “In the middle, hands on leader.”
* 18:48 Bubblegum pink cowboy outfit


* Feelings (20:40)

* "It doesn’t matter if the girls like me or if they don’t, it only matters how they feel around me.”
* My goals it to have them feel the spirit, to feel important, and to feel like they matter. (21:40)


* It takes a village (22:25)

* As a leadership team, together we have everything we need.
* Recognize unique talents in each other.
* Presidency meets every other week and once a month with the class advisers and personal progress specialist
* Meet at around the circle table to talk.


* Working with the Bishop (28:55)

* They have always had her back and trusts her.




 

A big thanks to Buster Summerhays for writing up this summary.]]>
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How I Organize Tithing Settlement https://leadinglds.org/how-i-organize-tithing-settlement/ Fri, 14 Oct 2016 03:07:23 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3851 Tithing settlement is, no doubt, a busy time of year for not only the bishop but for the bishopric. Thousands of wards and branches around the world will all make it happen starting October 15 and so it would be helpful to share notes and find the best approach to tithing settlement. In this episode 5 bishops or bishopric members share how their ward approaches tithing settlement. They each share some great ideas that can improve you efficiency to tithing settlement this year. Tithing settlement is, no doubt, a busy time of year for not only the bishop but for the bishopric. Thousands of wards and branches around the world will all make it happen starting October 15 and so it would be helpful to share notes and find the best...
In this episode 5 bishops or bishopric members share how their ward approaches tithing settlement. They each share some great ideas that can improve you efficiency to tithing settlement this year.

We will build on this episode each year and add additional tithing settlement ideas. If you would like to share your approach in order to help other wards better execute tithing settlement, please contact us and we will give you further details.
Links:
How I Lead: Brandon Leavitt

How I Lead: Mark Sieverkropp

How I Lead: Nathan Waldron

How I Lead: Marco Ferrini

Tithing Settlement Tear Off Schedule

Tithing Settlement in 2 Days
Quotes about Tithing
A Prerequisite to Higher Ordinances
Tithing is one of the many standards that allows us to receiving saving ordinances.

Brigham Young wrote in an epistle of the Quorum of the Twelve: “Enter steadily and regularly upon a strict observance of the law of tithing … then come up to the House of the Lord, and be taught in his ways, and walk in his paths.” (History of the Church, 7:282.)

Elder Taylor then taught: “It is our duty to pay our tithing, one-tenth of all we possess, and then one-tenth of our increase, and a man who has not paid his tithing is unfit to be baptized for his dead. … It is our duty to pay our tithing. If a man has not faith enough to attend to these little things, he has not faith enough to save himself and his friends.” (History of the Church, 7:292–93; italics added.)
The Lord's Revenue System
Tithing is the Lord’s revenue system, and He requires it of the people, not because He is lacking in gold or silver, but because [we] need to pay it. …

The prime … purpose behind the establishment of the law of the tithe is the development of the soul of the tithe-payer, rather than the providing of revenue. The latter is an all-important purpose, for so far as money is needed for the carrying on of the work of the Church the Lord requires money that is sanctified by the faith of the giver; but blessings beyond estimate … are assured unto him who strictly conforms to the law of the tithe because the Lord hath so commanded.” (James E. Talmage, The Articles of Faith, Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1924, pp. 528–29)
A Test of Faith
“I think when people say they haven’t money enough to pay tithing, they should say they haven’t faith enough to pay tithing. It is my conviction that we pay tithing with faith and not with money, because when a man has so much money that he has a large tithing, he can’t pay tithing. He has too much money and too little faith to pay tithing, and just feels he can’t afford it.” (Improvement Era, June 1953, pp. 435–36.) George Q Cannon
How Much Tithing to Pay?
The law of tithing was given to the whole Church.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 31:25
The Secret to Keeping Sacrament Meeting on Time https://leadinglds.org/the-secret-to-keeping-sacrament-meeting-on-time/ Tue, 11 Oct 2016 13:00:13 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3714 Most bishoprics that have been set-apart longer than a few weeks will know the feeling of trying to read the mind of the speaker at the lectern that has gone over their allotted speaking time by a few minutes. "Do they realize their time is up? It sort of sounds like they are concluding their remarks. But he said he would be sharing a list of 7 analogies and I think he is only on number 4. But look at the clock, I'm sure he realizes his time is up." Before the bishop knows it, the speaker has carried on and now the meeting is almost over, and there is still a 15 minute talk standing by. With only 5 minutes left in the meeting everything will feel rushed and there is little room for the Spirit to settle. Most bishoprics that have been set-apart longer than a few weeks will know the feeling of trying to read the mind of the speaker at the lectern that has gone over their allotted speaking time by a few minutes. - "Do they realize their time is up? "Do they not realize their time is up? It sort of sounds like they are concluding their remarks. But he said he would be sharing a list of 7 analogies and I think he is only on number 4. But look at the clock, I'm sure he realizes his time is up."
Before the bishop knows it, the speaker has carried on and now the meeting is almost over, and there is still a 15 minute talk standing by. With only 5 minutes left in the meeting everything will feel rushed and there is little room for the Spirit to settle.

This is a tough situation, especially if you have little experience presiding over a meeting. The reality is, most members of the Church are inexperienced when it comes to public speaking. They tend to over prepare because they don't want their message to sound shallow or be too short. When a member of the bishopric asks them to speak for 10 or 15 minutes that feels like an eternity to them. After spending weeks preparing they think their outline will take 10 minutes to deliver but it will actually take 25 minutes. The task of putting a well-rounded outline together hasn't left them any time to practice to see how long the talk will actually last. Their nervousness is generally magnified once they stand at the lectern and they fail to ever look at the clock to pace themselves. They have one mission: get through their outlines and then sit down. They then plow through their 25 minutes of notes and sit down not realizing they have been unintentionally disrespectful to the other speakers and to the audience.

This inexperience causes the bishop to sweat, the other speakers to become frazzled since they now have to cut down their talk, and the audience is more distracted by the sideshow of everyone stressing out on the stand.

An in-depth discussion took place in the LeadingLDS Helpers Facebook group about this topic (yes, you should join this group). Many noted how difficult it is to be that concluding speaker when the previous speaker takes up all of your time. Others talked about the agenda gymnastics the bishopric has to do in order to conclude the meeting on time, including skipping the intermediate hymn or musical number, asking the concluding speaker to simply bear a testimony, or just riding it out while the Sunday School teachers glare at the bishop.

After reading the discussion in the LeadingLDS Helpers group the solution is found in two simple priorities: (1) bishopric preparation and communication, and (2) having the presiding authority ask someone to pass a note to the speaker reminding them that their time is up.
Bishopric Preparation & Communication
As the old proverb goes, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." I would encourage any bishopric or ward council to review the article 3 Tips For Bishoprics That Lead to Better Sacrament Meeting Speakers. This article includes great tips on how a bishopric could effectively prepare and communicate to potential sacrament meeting speakers instructions that would lead to more spiritual meetings, or using a term from Elder Bednar, more spiritual revelatory experiences.

In short, the bishopric or presiding authority could communicate quickly with the member prior to the meeting and simply emphasize that the purpose of the meeting should be focused on the Savior and His gospel, and clarify when they expect them to conclude their remarks.
Gently Tell Them Their Time is Up
There is something awkward about passing the sp...]]>
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Baptized at 19, Bishop at 22 | How I Lead Interview with David Deford https://leadinglds.org/baptized-at-19-bishop-at-22-how-i-lead-interview-with-david-deford/ Sat, 08 Oct 2016 13:00:10 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3813 David Deford has an amazing story. Born and raised in Indiana David became involved with various drugs that contributed to his leaving home during college (without telling his parents). He experienced glimmers of God’s love during this time and ultimately met his wife, Kathy, when he picked her up as she was hitchhiking. They were introduced to the Church while hitchhiking cross-country and through God’s grace received answers to their prayers and they chose to be baptized. After several months, they did exactly that. David Deford has an amazing story. Born and raised in Indiana David became involved with various drugs that contributed to his leaving home during college (without telling his parents). He experienced glimmers of God’s love during this time and ultimat...
Three years later, at the age of 22, David was called as bishop of the ward in Lexington, Kentucky. As bishop, he focused on the youth—including attending seminary, youth conference and girls’ camp--and put the best people he could in youth leadership positions. He even released one of his counselors to serve as Young Men President! Later, as branch president of a small branch in Wahoo, Nebraska where there were only two youth, he thought creatively and, through the stake president, called other young members of the stake to attend church in Wahoo.

David also served as branch president of a Sudanese refugee branch and had the opportunity to teach self-reliance. Serving with people who came from very violent backgrounds, David faced death threats and other unique situations where he learned a lot. While service as social media and public affairs representative, David trained other leaders how to use social media to help in missionary work and to benefit the church. David now serves as bishop again in Omaha, Nebraska where he lives with his wife.
5 Leadership Principles:

* Shake it up - intentionally break with traditions
* Treat the Ward Council as Senior Executives - trust their revelation as leaders of the ward
* Focus less on Sunday business and more on Sunday worship - leaders need to be in class where they can worship with the other members of the ward
* Focus on the Youth (Adults can take care of themselves) - listen & ask questions during
* Let Counselors and Councils handle the organization; focus on ministering - leaders need to know they can make decisions

David works as a leadership speaker, trainer, coach, and author.
Links:
http://www.daviddeford.com/]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:07:22
Creating an Atmosphere to Share the Gospel | An Interview with Manoel Bezerra https://leadinglds.org/creating-an-atmosphere-to-share-the-gospel-an-interview-with-manoel-bezerra/ Tue, 04 Oct 2016 13:00:15 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3831 Manoel Bezerra is a Brazilian cab driver who makes a habit of handing out copies of the Book of Mormon; especially when the Rio Summer Olympics were in town. He is passionate about missionary work because he remembers fondly his own conversion to the LDS Church in New York after honest prayer and meeting the missionaries. He now serves as a member of his stake’s high council. Manoel Bezerra is a Brazilian cab driver who makes a habit of handing out copies of the Book of Mormon; especially when the Rio Summer Olympics were in town. He is passionate about missionary work because he remembers fondly his own conversion to the L... 2016 October General Conference, Manoel Bezerra is a Brazilian cab driver who makes a habit of handing out copies of the Book of Mormon; especially when the Rio Summer Olympics were in town. He is passionate about missionary work because he remembers fondly his own conversion to the LDS Church in New York after honest prayer and meeting the missionaries. He now serves as a member of his stake’s high council.
Ashley Kewish of KSL News put a spot light on him when she was in Brazil for the Olympics. She was originally planning on interviewing an Area 70 of the Church, but when she found her cab driver to be LDS and a strong missionary, she knew she had a story to bring back to Utah.
Manoel always heard of people who had never heard of the Savior and after a brief car ride with a Chinese individual, he was determined to carry around copies of the Book of Mormon in every language possible so he could be ready. He put his card inside of every book so that anyone who receives it has a way to contact him with additional questions. He strives to let the spirit be his guide as he brings up the gospel with clients who ride in his cab and in his everyday life.
Manoel has had many experiences sharing the gospel as a cab driver. He’s always looking for a moment where he can bring up the gospel and share his testimony. Manoel has helped his family join the church. He’s held many callings that have strengthened his desire to serve and find the joy in each calling. He recognizes that he’s on the Lord’s errand to share the message of the gospel and he’s been blessed with the opportunity to share with so many different individuals.

Interview Transcription
The following is a rough transcript of the interview. Please excuse the many grammar mistakes or misspelled words. It is our intention to make the transcript available as soon as possible rather than perfect.
Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today we are headed down south to the beuatiful land of Brazil to Copa Cabana Beach just outside Rio De Jenero to talk to Manoel Bazerra. How are you, Manoel?
Manoel: I'm doing very well, sir! I'm doing well, Kurt.
LLLD: We are recording this at the beginning of September of 2016 so how is the weather down there in Rio De?
Manoel: It's cloudy, it's drizzling. You know it is not one of those gorgeous buatufil days. As I'm a cab driver, raining is a wonderful day because people have need for the cab.
LLLD: So you pray for rain as everyone else prays for sunshine?
Manoel: Well, I just let it come. When it comes I appreciate it.
LLLD: I bet! That's fantastic! The original way I got in contact with you, I saw a story on KSL here in Utah and I am sure there were other news outlets that carried this story of you being a cab driver during the Olympics that just ended there a few weeks ago and sharing the gospel through sharing copies of the Book of Mormon. It was a wonderful experience. How was the experience of having the Olympics there?
5:06
Manoel: Oh it was fantastic, Kurt. It was really amazing seeing the whole world was here. So many people; different people, you know, they are all very excited and having fun and having a good time. We showed them a lot of hospitality and good manners, it was amazing! I really appreciated it.
5:44
LLLD: Was it quite busy for you then as a cab driver? Is that the busiest you have been in a while?
Manoel: It was very nice, it was very busy and especially because of my cab it is written "English Spoken" so people really reach and want, "Hey, come over!"
6:06
LLLD: They like to have the cab driver understand them?
Manoel: They prefer, yeah,]]>
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What are the Most Popular Hymns Sung in Sacrament Meeting? | An Interview with Samuel Bradshaw https://leadinglds.org/what-are-the-most-popular-hymns-sung-in-sacrament-meeting-an-interview-with-samuel-bradshaw/ Tue, 27 Sep 2016 15:56:06 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3820 Samuel Bradshaw is a Church employee and a part-time student. His interest in music and statistic led him to creating a project called SingPraises.net where he analyses how the hymns are sung in the LDS Church. He gathers hundreds of data points from wards around the world and then organizes the data to see which hymns are being sung the most and which hymns are being neglected. A bishopric or ward music chair would find this interview helpful as you seek to better use all the hymns in some way to invite the spirit into your meetings. Samuel Bradshaw is a Church employee and a part-time student. His interest in music and statistic led him to creating a project called SingPraises.net where he analyses how the hymns are sung in the LDS Church. SingPraises.net where he analyses how the hymns are sung in the LDS Church. He gathers hundreds of data points from wards around the world and then organizes the data to see which hymns are being sung the most and which hymns are being neglected.

A bishopric or ward music chair would find this interview helpful as you seek to better use all the hymns in some way to invite the spirit into your meetings.
Top 10 Most Sung Hymns in Sacrament Meeting
(Excluding Sacrament hymns)

* I Know That My Redeemer Lives (168)
* Because I Have Been Given Much (153)
* How Firm a Foundation (150)
* Lord, I Would Follow Thee (145)
* I Believe in Christ (134)
* Now Let Us Rejoice (124)
* High on the Mountain Top (121)
* Teach Me to Walk in the Light (116)
* We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet (116)
* Choose the Right (114)

See the full list HERE.
Highlights from the interview:

* What is SingPraises.net? (2:00)
* How do you gather information about what hymns wards are singing? (7:00)
* What are some of the more popular hymns sung? (8:30)
* Visit the hymn statistic page
* What information do you collect on hymn books? (13:20)
* What is the best way a ward could use SingPraises.net? (14:00)
* What is the best way to resurrect some forgotten hymns? (17:05)
* To get involved with the SingPraises.net project and submit your weekly hymns CLICK HERE



 ]]>
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The Why of Your Calling | An Interview with Wendy Ulrich https://leadinglds.org/the-why-of-your-calling-an-interview-with-wendy-ulrich/ Wed, 21 Sep 2016 13:50:32 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3782 Wendy Ulrich, Ph.D., M.B.A., was a psychologist in private practice in Ann Arbor, Michigan for almost fifteen years before moving with her husband to Montreal (where he presided over the Canada Montreal Mission), then Alpine, Utah. She founded Sixteen Stones Center for Growth, which offers seminar-retreats for LDS women (sixteenstones.net). She is a mother and grandmother, a columnist for Deseret News, a former president of the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapist, and a business consultant with The RBL Group. Her books include Forgiving Ourselves, Weakness Is Not Sin, and national best seller The Why of Work, co-authored with her husband, Dave Ulrich. Wendy Ulrich, Ph.D., M.B.A., was a psychologist in private practice in Ann Arbor, Michigan for almost fifteen years before moving with her husband to Montreal (where he presided over the Canada Montreal Mission), then Alpine, Utah. (sixteenstones.net). She is a mother and grandmother, a columnist for Deseret News, a former president of the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapist, and a business consultant with The RBL Group. Her books include Forgiving Ourselves, Weakness Is Not Sin, and national best seller The Why of Work, co-authored with her husband, Dave Ulrich.

Presenter at FairMormon Conference

* 2005, 2007 Presentations
* 2016 Presentation: What I hope we will teach our daughters (and sons) about the priesthood

* What topics interested Wendy most as she researched this topic? (5:35)
* Information on how to view / purchase presentations from FairMormon conference



Research and Published Books

* Let God Love You
* The Temple Experience
* Habits of Happiness
* Forgiving Ourselves: Getting Back Up When We Let Ourselves Down
* Weakness Is Not Sin: The Liberating Distinction That Awakens Our Strengths
* The Why of Work: How Great Leaders Build Abundant Organizations That Win

* Amazon author page



The Why of Work (18:48)

* Leaders as meaning makers.
* Creating meaning for people vs. creating meaning with people.
* What is real leadership in the church?
* Leaders who focus on meaning create an abundance response (33:55)
* How the Lord seeks to empower us
* How we can follow the lead of our Heavenly Father to empower others (45:30)
* 7 Questions that Drive Abundance (49:38)

* What am I known for?
* Where am I going?
* Whom do I travel with
* How do I build a positive work environment?
* What challenges interest me?
* How do I respons to disposability and change?
* What delights me?
* “What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life,]]>
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Leading as Bishop on a 1-2-1 Level | How I Lead: Mark Sieverkropp https://leadinglds.org/leading-as-bishop-on-a-1-2-1-level-how-i-lead-mark-sieverkropp/ Sat, 17 Sep 2016 16:55:51 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3797 Mark & Lacie Sieverkropp live in Ephrata, Washington where they both grew up as non-members. Examples of LDS friends started their interest in the gospel which led to their conversion. Mark helped fellowship Lacie and they later got married after her baptism. They have now been married 9 years and have two children. Mark & Lacie Sieverkropp live in Ephrata, Washington where they both grew up as non-members. Examples of LDS friends started their interest in the gospel which led to their conversion. Mark helped fellowship Lacie and they later got married after her b... Episode Highlights:

* How Bishop Sieverkropp was called as bishop (11:00)
* Dealing with the complacency of a ward (21:20)
* How Lacie has taken on the role/calling of bishop's wife (23:00)
* How Bishop Sieverkropp manages the Spanish group in his ward (49:20)
* Bishop Sieverkropp's approach to home teaching (53:15)
* How has Lacie's time serving with her husband made her a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (57:00)
* How has Bishop's Sieverkropp's time as bishop made him a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (58:00)

5 Principles of Leadership

* Delegate a lot, focus on doing what only I can do (25:00)
* Focus on individuals, connect with members 1-on-1 (31:15)
* Stick with the Brethren (33:50)
* Train, Train, TRAIN (36:15)
* Show appreciation (44:15)

Links:
What I Wish I'd Known Before My Mission, by John Bytheway

 

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Perfection is Not 100% Home Teaching | An Interview with Yohan Delton https://leadinglds.org/perfection-is-not-100-home-teaching-an-interview-with-yohan-delton/ Tue, 13 Sep 2016 16:16:50 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3778 Yohan Delton received his PHD in Applied Social Psychology with an emphasis in industrial organizational psychology. He was born in France and served a mission in Louisiana. He has spent a lot of time teaching, he taught at BYU as a graduate student, at the MTC teaching French, and has been teaching at BYU Idaho for 9 years. He currently teaches the History of Psychology and Organizational Psychology. Yohan Delton received his PHD in Applied Social Psychology with an emphasis in industrial organizational psychology. He was born in France and served a mission in Louisiana. He has spent a lot of time teaching, Yohan Delton received his PHD in Applied Social Psychology with an emphasis in industrial organizational psychology.  He was born in France and served a mission in Louisiana.  He has spent a lot of time teaching, he taught at BYU as a graduate student, at the MTC teaching French, and has been teaching at BYU Idaho for 9 years.  He currently teaches the History of Psychology and Organizational Psychology.

In this episode Bro Delton shares his personal experiences as well as his knowledge in organizational psychology, and how it applies to leading in the church.


* Story if working for the LDS church in Risk Management (13:30)
* He started a company called the Burton Group, where he works hands on with students in South East Idaho, to get real world experience in Organizational Psychology (16:30)

* The Burton Group was created to make the workplace human
* They have found that mangers have a hard time interacting and motivating employees, and making a healthy workforce.  These environments are often too compulsive and mechanical or are too money or incentive driven.  They are missing the human component.
* Employees often feel like they are in a machine, are a machine or treated as if they are a replaceable part.
* The leader and member relationship becomes transactional


* Common themes in programs and missions (16:59)

* They are connected to people
* Money is a means, it is never an end.


* Companies that do things because of traditions (18:00)

* Employees feel like they are a machine or a part
* There are often more policies and procedures
* Theere is little room for the employe to breath
* In these circumstances employees are limited as to what they can do.  They very seldom do more than what is asked.


* What can a leader to influence the human aspect of the church (23:00)

* Ego hinders the work (25:00)
* Remember the Lord gives blessings, not us (27:00)
* Danger of seeing blessings as transactional


* Eternal Rewards

* Pavlov’s Primary Children (34:00)
* Addressing the behavior not the heart
* Great story about displacing the internal desire by awarding behavior


* Appealing to the core (36:45)

* Reaching out to others hearts is hard to do
* Do we worship principles or use them to point to Christ?
* Are we trying to create a machine?
* People need to feel love.


* When we are trying to serve and are we approaching them with the heart of Christ or our ego?  If we approach with our ego then we are wanting them to be more like us, not like him. (46:00)
*  Home teaching is a Covenant, not a calling

* In regards to home teaching perfection is not 100% of visits, perfection is an event when a home or visiting teacher visits a family and the Lord speaks through them (48:00)



Links:
Burton Group

Drive Book, by Dan Pink

Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl

Teaching, No Greater Call Manual

Elder Holland's Education Week 2016 Talk

 

Thanks to Buster Summerhays for writing up the summary to this interview. 

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:14:18
How I Lead as Temple President | An Interview with Bob & Jenny Cowan https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-temple-president-an-interview-with-bob-jenny-cowan/ Sat, 10 Sep 2016 13:00:27 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3724 President Bob Cowan served as a counselor in the Australia Brisbane Mission. He has also served as an Area Seventy, president of the New Zealand Wellington Mission, stake president, bishop, and temple ordinance worker. Sister Jenny Cowan has served as a multi-stake young single adult adviser, stake and ward Relief Society presidents’ counselor, stake Young Women president and stake seminary supervisor. President Bob Cowan served as a counselor in the Australia Brisbane Mission. He has also served as an Area Seventy, president of the New Zealand Wellington Mission, stake president, bishop, and temple ordinance worker. Bob learn on his mission that leadership is more about the individual that you’re leading than the group as a whole. After Bob returned from his mission he married Jenny and they struggled with infertility and this taught them to have empathy and that there are always opportunities to reach out and comfort those going through similar situations. Children eventually came into their family and have three grandchildren.
Being a mission president was rewarding to Bob and Jenny because they enjoyed being a part of the missionaries lives and seeing how the Gospel change them and helped develop stronger testimonies. As a temple president and matron, they like to focus on making sure that each patron can connect with Heavenly Father during their service at the temple and that the individual is important to include and being flexible helps each person find the comfort and joy in serving.
Bob suggested an idea for stake presidents and bishops to invite one individual each week to come in for an interview and help that person become more focused on temple attendance. This individual would be someone who is unendowed, unbaptized, or uncommitted in some way and the invitations would help them focus on their personal journey back to Heavenly Father. (minute marker 40:00)

5 Principles of Leadership (minute marker 44:00)


Teaching them correct principles and letting them govern themselves.


Return and Report



This concept applies to life outside the church as well. We also must not give false praise or over the top praise so they have the opportunity to self reflect and improve.




Focus on Outcomes and not Procedures



Leadership isn’t about having people do things your way but making sure that end results are what matters most.


How did you encourage missionaries to not focus on baptism numbers?



Having missionaries feel that they are an essential part of warning the people of Christ’s coming






Getting the right leaders in place



Zone leaders were never chosen by who baptized more or whether baptisms mean that a missionary is better than any others. The individual’s focus on Christ is the only leadership quality to look for in a potential leader.


Worthy Workers Win became a mission standard to be obedient and hardworking.




The 90% vs The 10%



If your ward has a low percentage of tithing payers, a normal strategy is to having a sacrament meeting to help inspire the members, but really it’s a limiting move. It’s more important to sit down with the individual and talk to them face to face to have them commit to change.


The same idea applies to home and visiting teaching, it’s easier to motivate the individual on a personal level rather than as a whole.



]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:06:36
A Framework to Help LDS Teachers Create Memorable Lessons https://leadinglds.org/teaching-with-engagement-priesthood-relief-society-gospel-doctrine/ Tue, 06 Sep 2016 13:00:21 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=835 Imagine walking into your parents' attics after years of living away. You hope to find the box full of your childhood toys so you can share with your own children. You approach a shelf full of cardboard boxes. Some are old, beat up, and most are dusty. Each box is labeled with a piece of tape describing in a few words the contents of the box: Christmas, Grandma's China, Winter Clothes. Finally, you find the box labeled Children's Toys. You take the box off the shelf and peel back the old packaging seal. As the dusty air of the box escapes you are immediately reminded of memories of happier times. You're grateful for such memories and are excited to share them with your own children. As individuals leave Gospel Doctrine, Relief Society, or Priesthood meeting on Sunday the affects of the lesson rarely get put into a mental attic of retention. One of the many responsibilities of the class instructor is to frame and teach the lesson in a way that will help the students retain the principles. The learner should be able to revisit the topic and feel the same strong feelings of the spirit as they felt while in the class. Imagine walking into your parents' attics after years of living away. You hope to find the box full of your childhood toys so you can share with your own children. You approach a shelf full of cardboard boxes. Some are old, beat up,
As individuals leave Gospel Doctrine, Relief Society, or Priesthood meeting on Sunday the affects of the lesson rarely get put into a mental attic of retention. One of the many responsibilities of the class instructor is to frame and teach the lesson in a way that will help the students retain the principles. The learner should be able to revisit the topic and feel the same strong feelings of the spirit as they felt while in the class.

Many times we attend a class and find it extremely insightful and full of the Spirit. Unfortunately, a week later we have difficulty recalling the specific principles taught. The lack of retention causes us to forget the feelings of the meeting. As an instructor, there are many ways to frame a lesson in order to create retention and engagement. This article is meant to share with you one method I have found effective in helping class members retain principles taught in a class. Using the analogy of the attic and how items are stored using the BOX, the TAPE, and the SPIRIT.
The Box—Framing the Lesson
In Sunday School the teacher may overwhelm the class with quotes, scriptures, and other content as the brain attempts to compartmentalize them. In other words, the brain is trying to figure out what "box" to put the information in. It's paramount that the teacher (metaphorically) pass out boxes to the class to give them something to "hold on to" during the lesson. Or in other words, frame the lesson in a way that will create boundaries.

One of the best ways to give context or frame the lesson is through stories. An example of someone who has mastered this technique is Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (one of the most effective speakers). It's hard to think of a talk he has given that hasn't included a well told story that frames his entire discourse. In 2012 October General Conference he did this amazingly well by telling the story of the disciples at the sea of Tiberias. He stated some verses verbatim then took personal liberties with the story in order to more effectively engage the audience. Something remarkable happened when he framed his talk in this manner. At the end of his biblical retell every last person listening was 100% engaged. All seemed to hold an empty "box" ready to receive the core principles he was about to tell in the remainder of his speech.

Telling a story is not only about gaining their attention by making it interesting or funny. It should create engagement AND create a reference point for each principle taught in the lesson. When Elder Holland used the biblical story it didn't end after the first couple paragraphs. It changed from a story to a theme and gave the listener reference throughout the talk. Elder Holland would teach a principles, relate it to the story, and then the listener was able to relate it to their life.

Framing the lesson or creating a reference point for the lesson isn't only done through stories.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 10:14
How I Lead as Bishop in Abu Dhabi | An Interview with Wayne Brockbank https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-bishop-in-abu-dhabi-an-interview-with-wayne-brockbank/ Sat, 03 Sep 2016 13:42:53 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3707 Wayne Brockbank was a mission president in the Nigeria Uyo and the Ghana Accra missions from 2006-2009. He has lived and worked as a consultant and professor in Abu Dhabi for the past 7 years and experiences the unique culture of the LDS church in a Muslim country. He was born in Salt Lake City and grew up in Petaluma, California. As a young man, Wayne along with his wife served missions in the South German mission. He has degrees from BYU and UCLA and has taught at the University of Michigan where he also served as a bishop for 9 years. He also was recently released as a bishop in Abu Dhabi. Wayne Brockbank was a mission president in the Nigeria Uyo and the Ghana Accra missions from 2006-2009. He has lived and worked as a consultant and professor in Abu Dhabi for the past 7 years and experiences the unique culture of the LDS church in a ...
In this episode we cover the following topics:

* The feelings of being called as a bishop 21:00
* Being LDS in Abu Dhabi among Muslims 29:30
* The growth of the LDS Church in Abu Dhabi 35:00
* The unique challenges of being a bishop in Abu Dhabi 45:00
* Advice to share with other bishops 48:00
* Experiences as a mission president in Africa 56:20

Links
Chris Kittle Interview]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:12:55
What If All Church “Programs” that Compelled Service Were Abolished? https://leadinglds.org/compelled-in-all-things-service-without-programs/ Tue, 30 Aug 2016 13:00:42 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=1297 I live in a very transient ward. Some month we get up to 30 new members moving in and roughly the same amount moving out; most of these we never see in church. It's the nature of our ward and it has its pros and cons. This results in the fact that we have a significant number of members on our rolls that we don't know. They are just a name with few facts. About a year ago I went through the ward roster and marked each name that I didn't know. With roughly 500 members on the roles, 190 names were unfamiliar to me. This was concerning. I stewed over this problem for weeks and knew I needed to find a solution. Reactivating these 190 names was a long shot; however, I felt it was our duty to at least know who these people were and understand their basic life situation even if they didn't want to attend church with us. I live in a very transient ward. Some month we get up to 30 new members moving in and roughly the same amount moving out; most of these we never see in church. It's the nature of our ward and it has its pros and cons.
About a year ago I went through the ward roster and marked each name that I didn't know. With roughly 500 members on the roles, 190 names were unfamiliar to me. This was concerning. I stewed over this problem for weeks and knew I needed to find a solution. Reactivating these 190 names was a long shot; however, I felt it was our duty to at least know who these people were and understand their basic life situation even if they didn't want to attend church with us.

To solve this problem I did what most leaders do; I created a program. I called it the Hour a Week program. If I, as bishop, could find extra time in my week to do interviews and fulfill other responsibilities of my calling than I am sure each active member of the ward could find one hour to knock on doors in the ward and say, "Hi! Who are you? We are here to serve." So that is the program I created. I challenged each member of my ward to find one hour they could take a few names and go find out who these people were. They could choose any day Tuesday through Friday at 7pm; we would meet at a center point in the ward, and then start visiting. To be honest, it worked. We got the number of unknowns down to about 25. It was a great experience!

After a few months of doing the Hour a Week program, I realize it took a lot of motivation from me as the leader to keep encouraging members to participate. Once I stopped nagging about the program in church and to my auxiliary leaders it faded away.

What happened? Why did I have to create a program in order to get people to seek out the lost sheep? Why did I have to "command them in all things? (D&C 58:26) Why were they not "anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will?" (D&C 58:27)
I realized I had a leadership deficit. I had to "compel in all things" rather than building a culture that naturally influenced other to serve.

Why Do We Compel Others to Serve?
What if all the "programs" that compelled service were abolished? No more home or visiting teaching. No more callings focused on simple tasks (i.e. door greeter, church cleaning, stacking chairs, etc.).  No more activities committee.

I realize there needs to be some level or organization of those called to serve. If we opened up all positions (including leadership positions) to anybody that "felt like serving", we may suddenly have a circus on our hands. However, the service culture of our organizations skews towards those in leadership positions to pick up the slack. The list of what only a bishop can do is really quite short. The fact he is greeting people at the beginning/end of church, or that he is visiting more families during the week isn't because he is the only one that has authority to do so.

So why don't more member just DO without being compelled? That's the million dollar question and has been analyzed in many forms at LeadingLDS.

Doing proactive service is much more difficult than doing reactive service. Leaders realize this and create a "program" that changes the proactive act to a reactive act. Instead of just visiting and fellowshipping members naturally, we make lists of families and then follow up at the end of the month to see if they have visited them.

Is it good leadership to make everything reactive? I don't know,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 12:06
How I Lead as Relief Society President in Texas | An Interview with Beth Young https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-relief-society-president-in-texas-an-interview-with-beth-young/ Sat, 27 Aug 2016 13:00:10 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3694 Today we head down to Friendswood, Texas to visit with Beth Young. Prior to becoming a Texan Sister Young was raised in Arizona in a family without the blessings of the Gospel. In this episode Beth shares what it was like to be raised in a home without the restored gospel by a father and mother who loved her but struggled with alcoholism. Sister Young was introduced to the Gospel in high school which ultimately led to her being baptized, serving a full-time mission, being sealed in the temple and holding leadership callings such as ward and stake relief society president. Beth discusses how her leadership and experience in her own home prepared her to be a leader in the church as she shares how she navigated the waters of motherhood when her children experienced the struggles of mortality. She is very candid in discussing her experiences with one child who battled drug addiction and another who experiences same gender attraction and the heartache of his excommunication. Sister Young teaches us how to show tough yet unconditional love to our children. Today we head down to Friendswood, Texas to visit with Beth Young. Prior to becoming a Texan Sister Young was raised in Arizona in a family without the blessings of the Gospel. In this episode Beth shares what it was like to be raised in a home without...
Beth discusses how her leadership and experience in her own home prepared her to be a leader in the church as she shares how she navigated the waters of motherhood when her children experienced the struggles of mortality. She is very candid in discussing her experiences with one child who battled drug addiction and another who experiences same gender attraction and the heartache of his excommunication. Sister Young teaches us how to show tough yet unconditional love to our children.
Links:
North Star International

7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven Covey

Young Captain Hook (Beth's son)

Andy Young Youtube Channel

LDS Addiction Recovery Program

A Bishop's Guide to Gay Mormons

 

A big thank to Brandon Leavitt for doing the summary for this episode.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:20:50
What the Backwards Piano Man Taught Me About LDS Singles | An Interview with Jason Lyle Black https://leadinglds.org/what-the-backwards-piano-man-taught-me-about-lds-singles-an-interview-with-jason-lyle-black/ Thu, 25 Aug 2016 04:54:12 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3687 Jason Lyle Black is an award-winning concert pianist, composer and stage performer from Salt Lake City. He is also know as “The Backwards Piano Man,” who’s music videos have over 30 million views. In this interview Jason tells the story of how he went from an EFY performer to performing on the Ellen Show. He gives great advise to parents on how to support your musically-inclined child as well as how leaders can help support members with musical talents in our ward or branch. Black also shares different ways to Home Teach and serve in a Single Adult Ward, and stresses the importance of being a true friend to those you serve. Jason Lyle Black is an award-winning concert pianist, composer and stage performer from Salt Lake City. He is also know as “The Backwards Piano Man,” who’s music videos have over 30 million views. In this interview Jason tells the story of how he wen... The Backwards Piano Man,” who’s music videos have over 30 million views.  In this interview Jason tells the story of how he went from an EFY performer to performing on the Ellen Show.

He gives great advise to parents on how to support your musically-inclined child as well as how leaders can help support members with musical talents in our ward or branch. Black also shares different ways to Home Teach and serve in a Single Adult Ward, and stresses the importance of being a true friend to those you serve.
Links:
JasonLyleBlack.com

Jason's Youtube channel

Check out his newest album, Piano Preludes

Text "Lyle" to 444999 and get updates about Jason's upcoming concerts.

 

A big thanks to Buster Summerhays for writing the summary for this episode]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:20:36
Being an Essentialism Bishop | An Interview with Greg McKeown https://leadinglds.org/being-an-essentialism-bishop-an-interview-with-greg-mckeown/ Tue, 16 Aug 2016 14:49:59 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3660 Greg McKeown has dedicated his career to discovering why some people break through to the next level—and others don’t. He has also dedicated himself to the gospel of Jesus Christ and currently serves as a bishop in Menlo Park, California. From Greg's online bio: "He has authored a remarkable book which was an instant New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. As well as frequently being the #1 Time Management book on Amazon, this book challenges core assumptions about achievement to get to the essence of what really drives success." "McKeown is the CEO of THIS Inc, a company whose mission is to assist people and companies to spend 80 percent of their time on the vital few rather than the trivial many. Clients include Adobe, Apple, Google, Facebook, Pixar, Salesforce.com, Symantec, Twitter, VMware and Yahoo!." In this interview we talk about how the principle of Essentialism apply to his calling as bishop and the culture at-large in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Greg McKeown has dedicated his career to discovering why some people break through to the next level—and others don’t. He has also dedicated himself to the gospel of Jesus Christ and currently serves as a bishop in Menlo Park, California. -
From Greg's online bio: "He has authored a remarkable book which was an instant New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.  As well as frequently being the #1 Time Management book on Amazon, this book challenges core assumptions about achievement to get to the essence of what really drives success."

"McKeown is the CEO of THIS Inc, a company whose mission is to assist people and companies to spend 80 percent of their time on the vital few rather than the trivial many. Clients include Adobe, Apple, Google, Facebook, Pixar, Salesforce.com, Symantec, Twitter, VMware and Yahoo!."

In this interview we talk about how the principle of Essentialism apply to his calling as bishop and the culture at-large in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Links:
Buy Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Greg McKeown's Website

7 Unbreakable Rules of a Meeting

Liz Wiseman Interviews & Articles on LeadingLDS
Interview Transcript
The following is a rough transcript of the interview. Please excuse the many grammar mistakes or misspelled words. It is our intention to make the transcript available as soon as possible rather than perfect.

 

Kurt Francom (LLDS): Today I'm very excited to welcome and author that I've been following his last few books and been following the content he puts online and it's really been life changing and impactful for me and that person is Greg McKeown.. How are you Greg?

Greg McKeown (Greg): I'm just doing wonderful. Thanks for having me.

LLDS: Yeah for sure. Now you are in Menlo Park area in California?

Greg: That's it.

LLDS: Now you don't sound like you're accent doesn't sound too Menlo Parkian.

Greg: I love how that sounded like you said accident. Referring to my accent.

LLDS: No there's nothing accidental about your accent.

Greg: I'm from London, England originally and grew up in Leeds and Yorkshire in the north of England.

LLDS: Great so I know there's a long story behind it but generally speaking how did you land all the way in California from London.

Greg: Well, it really started right when I came home from my mission and enrolled in Law school and I just was so hungry to feel the sense of mission and to maintain the sense of mission I've felt for 2 years. I just couldn't seem to feel it fully in law and there's nothing wrong with law and lots of important work to be done there but I just could not sense my complete mission there but I was still in it. I was actually, actually this story that's interesting I was reflecting on recently was I went back to visit somebody in the church office building and they said something just curious and in passing said look if you do decide to stay in America you should come and help us with this event and it wasn't so much what they wanted me to do as that question and the assumption of if you didn't have to do what you are doing if you could do something different what would it be? And so I went down the foyer of the church office building and wrote down on a piece of paper, "What would you do if you could do anything?]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:07:11
How I Lead in the Kyiv Ukraine Temple Presidency | An Interview with David Terry https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-in-the-kyiv-ukraine-temple-presidency-an-interview-with-david-terry/ Sat, 13 Aug 2016 13:00:15 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3645 David Terry is a former Bishop and Stake President in Washington State. David and his wife answered an advertisement in a newspaper to teach English in China. After this experience, they were able to serve in the temple presidency in the Kiev Ukraine Temple. This interview follows the life and service of David Terry, in and out of the church. He shares stories of successful missionary work and tough times learning to lead and help people return to Heavenly Father. David served in the army during the Vietnam War. His story of attending church abroad during the 1960’s is the jumping off point for his continued dedicated service. David served in the Kiev Ukraine Temple Presidency and his wife served as the assistant to the matron. They then returned to serve again as temple workers for 18 months. They currently live in Utah close to some of their children and grandchildren. David Terry is a former Bishop and Stake President in Washington State. David and his wife answered an advertisement in a newspaper to teach English in China. After this experience, they were able to serve in the temple presidency in the Kiev Ukraine T...
This interview follows the life and service of David Terry, in and out of the church. He shares stories of successful missionary work and tough times learning to lead and help people return to Heavenly Father. David served in the army during the Vietnam War. His story of attending church abroad during the 1960’s is the jumping off point for his continued dedicated service. David served in the Kiev Ukraine Temple Presidency and his wife served as the assistant to the matron. They then returned to serve again as temple workers for 18 months. They currently live in Utah close to some of their children and grandchildren.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:13:36
What did Joseph Smith Learn from the Book of Mormon about Church Leadership? | An Interview with Jerry Smith https://leadinglds.org/what-did-joseph-smith-learn-from-the-book-of-mormon-about-church-leadership-an-interview-with-jerry-smith/ Tue, 09 Aug 2016 17:28:43 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3624 Jerry Smith is the author of Schooling the Prophet: How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration. He is originally from Salt Lake City and served his mission in the Boston Massachusettes area and later returned there to continue his college education. He now teaches in the School of Management at Boston College and also teaches LDS institute classes. He has served as bishop 3 times and in a stake presidency. In this interview we discuss the research that went into his new book and how it relates to the administration of the Church. Jerry Smith is the author of Schooling the Prophet: How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration. He is originally from Salt Lake City and served his mission in the Boston Massachusettes area and later returned there to cont... Schooling the Prophet: How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration. He is originally from Salt Lake City and served his mission in the Boston Massachusetts area and later returned there to continue his college education. He now teaches in the School of Management at Boston College and also teaches Institute classes in the Boston LDS Institute. He has served as bishop 3 times and in a stake presidency, and in many other Church callings.

In this interview we discuss the research that went into his new book and how it relates to the administration of the Church. The following is a brief summary of some of the answers he provided. To hear his complete responses listen to the full episode above.
Why did Joseph Smith not quote from the Book of Mormon after he translated it? (15:00)
This may surprise you but Joseph Smith rarely quoted from the Book of Mormon after he translated it. This was the same for Brigham Young and for the general membership of the Church during the early restoration. In fact the Bible was quoted 20 times as much as the Book of Mormon. The Bible was such a dominant book of scripture at that time that even the members of the Church mainly quoted from it. Jerry Smith believes Joseph was frustrated by this, as seen in a revelation from the Lord chastising the Church for "treating lightly the things you have received." (Doctrine & Covenants 84:54)
Were temple ordinances influenced by the Book of Mormon or by Joseph Smith's exposure to Free Masonry? (22:20)
From Jerry Smith's research he is convinced that in the early years of the Restoration Joseph Smith's early vision of the temple worship was not influenced by Free Masonry, but was initially inspired by what he found in the Book of Mormon and in the schooling experiences centered in the Book of Mormon translation period, from 1823 to 1830. From the very beginning when Joseph Smith was receiving "schooling visions" from Moroni, one focus of those visions was the return of the latter-day temple. This set in motion the ongoing search Joseph had in restoring temple worship. He began early on looking to build temples, first in Independence, MO, and then in Kirtland, OH, then in Far West, MO, then Adam-ondi-Ahman, MO and finally in Nauvoo, IL. Obviously, these temples, other than at Kirtland and Nauvoo, were never constructed but it was clear that Joseph felt an urgency to restore temple worship.

His restoration of the temple was influenced early by temple worship protocols in the Book of Mormon, as well as in the Bible. Nephi talked about the Temple of Solomon and as a model for his own temple (there are 3 temples mentioned in the Book of Mormon). Jesus' temple worship at Bountiful provided models for priesthood leadership and instruction. The Book of Mormon people also had smaller altar sanctuaries in local communities. Joseph must have been impressed by this pattern of many temples and altar sanctuaries in the Book of Mormon.
Dual-Form Worship (28:00)
Dual-Form Worship is a term that Jerry Smith uses in his book to point out the unique characteristic that the restored Church has, where we worship in small chapels on the Sabbath and then separately attend the temple on another day. No other Christian church has this form of worship. There is only one mention of the word synagogue in the Old Testament. The Book of Mormon records synagogue worship and temple worship happening side-by-side in many accounts.
Why Does the Presiding Authority Take the Sacrament First? (31:30)
Joseph Smith recognized the details and protocols that were being followed in the ancient Church in America. One of those protocols is that the presiding authority first takes the sacrament. We see this example in 3 Nephi 18 when the Savior blesses the sacrament and first gives it to his disciples and...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:22:31
Using Social Media in Stake Public Affairs | An Interview with Geoff Thatcher https://leadinglds.org/using-social-media-in-stake-public-affairs-an-interview-with-geoff-thatcher/ Sat, 06 Aug 2016 13:00:30 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3600 Geoff Thatcher grew up in Farmington, Utah in an LDS home. He is a descendant of the apostle, Moses Thatcher. He served his mission in the Kentucky Louisville Mission. He graduated from BYU in Journalism and now lives in Cincinnati, Ohio where he works with large corporations to help them create attractions and museums to advertise their brands. Geoff Thatcher's calling involves working with all stake public affairs directors in a coordinating council (group of stakes). In the interview Geoff talks about the shift that is happening in the direction we are receiving from the general authorities to use social media and technology more activity to spread the message of the gospel. Geoff Thatcher grew up in Farmington, Utah in an LDS home. He is a descendant of the apostle, Moses Thatcher. He served his mission in the Kentucky Louisville Mission. He graduated from BYU in Journalism and now lives in Cincinnati,
Geoff Thatcher's calling involves working with all stake public affairs directors in a coordinating council (group of stakes). In the interview Geoff talks about the shift that is happening in the direction we are receiving from the general authorities to use social media and technology more activity to spread the message of the gospel. The following is a summary of some of the points he makes. For a full understanding of his message it is recommended that you listen to the full audio episode.
Encouragement from our Latter-day Prophets to use social media and other internet tools
Handbook 2 21.1.22 now states:
Members are encouraged to use the Internet to flood the earth with testimonies of the Savior and His restored gospel. They should view blogs, social networks, and other Internet technologies as tools that allow them to amplify their voice in promoting the messages of peace, hope, and joy that accompany faith in Christ.
Geoff quotes Elder M. Russell Ballard who said in his 2007 address at BYU-Hawaii (the same year the iPhone was released), "With new technological tools, you can further the work of the Lord by joining the ongoing conversation about the Church." This was a big moment for members of the Church to hear from one of the 12 Apostles encouraging them to participate in the conversation online related to the Church.

This comment was followed up a few years later by Elder Adrián Ochoa when he said in his 2012 April General Conference address, "the Internet, social media, and other technologies are tools the Lord has placed in your hands to help you exercise your priesthood duties and extend the influence of truth and virtue."

Elder Perry later encouraged the same message in his talk, Missionary Work in the Digital Age when he stated "Just as missionaries must adapt to a changing world, members must also change the way they think about missionary work. In saying this, I wish to make it clear that what we, as members, are asked to do has not changed; but the way in which we fulfill our responsibility to share the gospel must adapt to a changing world."

Finally, this message came loud and clear from Elder Bednar during the 2014 BYU Education Week when he stated, "I believe the time has come for us as disciples of Christ to use these inspired tools appropriately and more effectively to testify of God the Eternal Father, His plan of happiness for His children, and His Son, Jesus Christ, as the Savior of the world; to proclaim the reality of the Restoration of the gospel in the latter days; and to accomplish the Lord’s work."

The Church has come along way and still has some adjustments to make in order to really leverage the available internet tools to effectively spread the gospel. Geoff talked about a personal example of a missed opportunity when he took the sister missionaries out for Cincinnati chili and interacted...]]>
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11 Funeral Tips for Bishops & LDS Leaders https://leadinglds.org/11-funeral-tips-for-bishop-lds-leaders/ Wed, 03 Aug 2016 20:10:22 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3544 When someone dies in a local ward many families turn to the bishop and or Relief Society president for direction and organization. In this episode I interview Greg Ballard, who is a former bishop and has had 20+ years of experience as a funeral director in Salt Lake City, Utah. We discuss some best practices of conducting and facilitating funerals. When someone dies in a local ward many families turn to the bishop and or Relief Society president for direction and organization. In this episode I interview Greg Ballard, who is a former bishop and has had 20+ years of experience as a funeral directo...
To get the most out of what Greg Ballard discusses it is recommended that you listen to the attached episode in its entirety, but here is a brief summary of the big take-aways:
1. Read the handbook
This should come as no surprise to any leader. The handbook discusses simple policies that will help guide a leader to have a successful funeral program and one that is in harmony with the spirit of the gospel. This information can be found in Handbook 2, 18.6 and Handbook 1, 17.2.2
2. Create a Funeral Committee
The bishop or Relief Society president should not attempt to plan and organize the funeral proceedings by themselves. The funeral experience creates high emotions for the family of the decedent and the funeral experience should be a positive experience for them. Any sign of disorganization or mismanagement can cause frustration with the family.

Having a funeral committee of ward members that can help plan the program, prepare the building, assist in dressing the decedent (if needed), and organize the family luncheon. Because theft of the family home is common since funeral details are often published in local newspapers, it is a good idea to have members of the funeral committee monitor the family home so that the home doesn't remain empty and vulnerable to theft.

Funeral committees are not only for wards with a higher level of funerals. Any ward could assign individuals to a funeral committee that are trained and ready to help when a ward member passes away.
3. Be ready to recommend a funeral home to the family
Many families will not have prearrangements in place for their recently deceased loved one. They most likely will look to the bishop for suggestions and recommendations of a funeral home to use. The bishop or Relief Society president might find it helpful to get familiar with the local funeral homes in the area so that they can confidently suggest one for the family to consider. The leader can assure the family that any funeral home is ready to take their loved one into their care 24-hour a day. They are just a phone call away, ready to serve.
4. Be prepared to educate non-LDS funeral directors
LDS leaders living in Utah have the luxury of dealing with funeral directors that most likely have an LDS background or are at least familiar with LDS customs. These funeral directors will easily guide certain details while respecting the customs of LDS funerals. However, if you live in an area where the funeral director is not familiar with LDS customs, it would be nice to have the local bishop or Relief Society president make sure the funeral director is educated on these customs and offer help where needed.
5. It's not required that the family dress the decedent
Some family members might feel obligated to dress the decedent. It is not required that family members dress the body. If the decedent was temple endowed and the funeral home is not familiar with the dressing, this is another area where the ward funeral committee can be helpful.
6. Be ready to conduct a funeral with cremated remains
When I served as a bishop, a member of my ward passed away and was cremated. At the funeral I found myself a little unprepared with certain details, like how the urn would be displayed during the services. Thankfully the family was patient with me as I discussed with them how they felt most comfortable with displaying the urn. They ended up not even bringing the urn to the chapel.

A funeral with cremated remains presents new questions to consider be...]]>
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The 5 Pillars for Leadership in Life | An Interview with Scott Newman https://leadinglds.org/the-5-pillars-for-leadership-in-life-an-interview-with-scott-newman/ Sat, 30 Jul 2016 17:02:51 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3529 In this episode I interview Scott Newman who has had over 25 years of leadership experience in Corporate American and now shares of that experience by teaching business courses at LDS Business College. One class inparticular that he teaches is called Leadership for Life where he focuses on 5 pillars of leadership. We take time to discuss some of these principles and how they relate to leadership in the LDS Church. In this episode I interview Scott Newman who has had over 25 years of leadership experience in Corporate American and now shares of that experience by teaching business courses at LDS Business College. One class inparticular that he teaches is called L... The 5 Pillars for Leadership in Life

* Jesus the Master Leader
* Charting Your Course
* Inspired Mentoring
* Problem Solving & Improvement
* Execution & Evaluation

Scott also shares the reason his stake president got rid of the high council table, what his stake has done to improve home teaching, how to leave a legacy as a leader, and many other principles that will have a dramatic impact on how you lead.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:11:46
An Important Field Trip Every Bishop (or Relief Society President) Needs to Take https://leadinglds.org/an-important-field-trip-every-bishop-or-relief-society-president-needs-to-take/ Tue, 26 Jul 2016 13:58:43 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3556 Thanks Bishop, but now what? As a newly called bishop in the inner city of Salt Lake, there were a lot of things I didn’t know, but this was one of the questions that worried me the most. I felt that if I gave a member a Bishop’s Order for Commodities (food and supplies, clothing, household goods or an authorization for services) that I should be able to let them know what happens when they go to redeem it. I found that some members were well versed with the Church’s Welfare Resource program, while others had no i Thanks Bishop, but now what? - As a newly called bishop in the inner city of Salt Lake, there were a lot of things I didn’t know, but this was one of the questions that worried me the most. I felt that if I gave a member a Bishop’s Order for Commoditi... Enter Buster…
Thanks Bishop, but now what?

As a newly called bishop in the inner city of Salt Lake, there were a lot of things I didn’t know, but this was one of the questions that worried me the most. I felt that if I gave a member a Bishop’s Order for Commodities (food and supplies, clothing, household goods or an authorization for services) that I should be able to let them know what happens when they go to redeem it. I found that some members were well versed with the Church’s Welfare Resource program, while others had no idea.
Visiting the Bishop’s Storehouse
I took a few days off of work my first week as bishop and visited Welfare Square in Salt Lake City, starting with the Bishop’s Storehouse. I walked in and told the shift coordinator that I was a recently called bishop and wanted to see what my members will experience when they come to turn in their order. The brother in charge had me first view a PowerPoint that volunteers review before they serve. Although I can’t remember everything I learned, there is one point that stood out to me. It was a small point, but it made a big impact on me. They mentioned that volunteers are to help push the cart around the storehouse and the recipient are to put the goods into their cart. This was to help foster self-reliance. This left such an impression upon me because it taught me that self-reliance does not always mean applying for x number of jobs per week; it could start as simple as putting your own groceries in a cart.

The next activity was a tour of the storehouse. They showed me how all of the food was organized on the shelves in the same order as it was on the Bishop’s order form. There was even a particular way recipients and volunteers are to walk up and down the aisles. This reinforced to me the need for order in our lives. Often times members that are looking for assistance when they find their lives in chaos; the order found at the storehouse was an effective example of how our lives can have order.

The last thing I did was meet the shift coordinator. I asked him the same questions I asked the coordinators at all of the other locations, which was, “If you had a microphone and could speak to all of the bishops in your boundaries, what would you say?” He offered a few good tips. First, to go back to my office and review the printed dates on the bottom of my orders. He said that often times bishops are writing requests on outdated forms, and that creates a sticky spot for them when they no longer offer that item and have to find a substitute. The second item of value was that it was ok to have members volunteer service hours before receiving their order, all I had to do was make a note at the bottom stating how many hours of service needed to be fulfilled before the order was issued.
Deseret Industries
My next visit was to Deseret Industries. While there I did the same thing; I asked the store manager what a member could expect when they were coming to fulfill an order that I had completed. He walked me around the store and showed me items they offered, including those that were new or could be requested new, such as jackets. I was amazed at everything they offered! I then moved on to the skills training that the DI offers. They have a wonderful training program to help individuals learn the skills necessary to gain employment. They train for many different skills, ranging from how to understand a schedule, communicating with your manager and co workers to how to drive a forklift or count change back from a cash register. It truly was amazing. They were teaching many skills that most would take for granted. Had I not known about these services,]]>
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Being Bishop in Florence Italy | How I Lead: Marco Ferrini https://leadinglds.org/being-bishop-in-florence-italy-how-i-lead-marco-ferrini/ Sat, 23 Jul 2016 13:20:24 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3517 In this episode I am pleased to introduce you to the voice of LeadingLDS Italia, Marco Ferrini. Marco is a bishop in Florence, Italy and got turned on to the LeadingLDS podcast last year by another bishop who recommended it to him. He loved the resource so much that he contacted me about doing a similar podcast in Italian. I am excited to extend the LeadingLDS brand over to Italy and continue the work of enhancing leadership in the Church. Bishop Ferrini also talks to us about his Italian pioneer heritage. His mother was one of the first members in Italy. He has served in most leadership callings available in the Church and now has had the opportunity to serve as bishop for the last couple of years. In this episode I am pleased to introduce you to the voice of LeadingLDS Italia, Marco Ferrini. Marco is a bishop in Florence, Italy and got turned on to the LeadingLDS podcast last year by another bishop who recommended it to him.
Bishop Ferrini also talks to us about his Italian pioneer heritage. His mother was one of the first members in Italy. He has served in most leadership callings available in the Church and now has had the opportunity to serve as bishop for the last couple of years.
Bishop Ferrini's 5 Leadership Principles

* “Remember, Brethren, in this work it is the Spirit that counts.” – Ezra Taft Benson - https://goo.gl/zZjtWZ
* “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” – President Monson - https://goo.gl/5ghC6c
* “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” – Mosiah 3:19
* “I did read many things unto them which were written in the books of Moses; but that I might more fully persuade them to believe in the Lord their Redeemer I did read unto them that which was written by the prophet Isaiah; for I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning.” - 1 Nephi 19:23
* “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” – Benjamin Franklin - http://goo.gl/rfzN0W

Links:
"Do not spend more than two nights a week away from home..." -Elder Robert D. Hales

WhatsApp

Slack

Clash Royale

Snapchat Episode

Follow Marco on Snapchat @Marcowakko

Listen to Marco Rap]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:22:56
Motivation & Building Teams in LDS Councils | Guest Post by Blake Dalton https://leadinglds.org/motivation-building-teams-in-lds-councils-guest-post-by-blake-dalton/ Tue, 19 Jul 2016 23:37:53 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3536 Blake Dalton is a full-time teacher from West Valley City, Utah. He served a full-time mission in Eugene, Oregon. He has served as an elder’s quorum president, a high councilman, executive secretary, and currently serves as the bishop of his ward. Also be sure to listen to Blake's How I Lead interview. Enter Brigham… Blake Dalton is a full-time teacher from West Valley City, Utah. He served a full-time mission in Eugene, Oregon. He has served as an elder’s quorum president, a high councilman, executive secretary, and currently serves as the bishop of his ward. -
Also be sure to listen to Blake's How I Lead interview.
Enter Blake…
In April and May Freakanomics Radio did a series of episodes on self-improvement. This seemed right up my ally because, as a self-proclaimed “lazy perfectionist,” I am always looking for ways to improve. While listening to these episodes I could not help notice what was being discussed through the filter of serving in Church callings. One episode in particular peaked my interest. The episode was titled How to be More Productive. The interview involved two main guests, author Charles Duhigg who wrote the book Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business and Laszlo Bock, senior vice president of People Operations at Google.

One main aspect of the episode I want to share with you was in relation to a major study that Google conducted called Project Aristotle, You can find more information about that study in the article What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team.

Project Aristotle was implemented because Google wanted to discover the best way to build the perfect team. This Project was a topic of discussion in Charles Duhigg’s recent book (referenced above). I could not stop thinking about Ward Councils and presidency meetings while listening to this episode and how some of these concepts could help our attitudes as we participate in those meetings. There were many topics discussed in the episode but the two I want to focus on here relate to our callings: Motivation and Building Teams.
Motivation
Duhigg explains that our motivation or lack of motivation stems from how much we feel we can control the outcome of any situation. Psychology calls this the Locus of Control (Latin for location of control). There is an internal and external locus of control, meaning that we believe that we are in control of an outcome (internal) or we believe our environment or other people are in control of the outcomes we desire (external). So in short if we feel we can dictate outcomes then we are more motivated to do it. If we feel we have no control in a situation we are more likely to give up or perform at less than full capacity. Think of how this works in our daily lives, starting a new diet for example. We exercise and eat right and don’t see any change in our waistline, so we blame genetics, lack of willpower or the holidays for our inability to lose weight… and then we give up. This would be an example of an external locus of control. I think it's safe to say that most of us would rather be in control of our own outcomes rather than waiting and relying on others to accomplish them for us. However gaining an external locus of control can become a habit. Just look at the child who is told to clean their room and sits on the floor waiting to be told how to clean it, or for a frustrated parent to come in and clean it for them. Or the home teaching companion who never sets the appointment or hopes that his companion forgets about home teaching all together.

While gaining an external locus of control can be habit forming and a bad one at that, building an internal locus of control can be habit forming as well. Perhaps Elder David A. Bednar says it best when he states, “You and I are agents,]]>
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Fellowshipping LDS Australian Aborigines | How I Lead: Sister Christine Shaw https://leadinglds.org/fellowshipping-lds-australian-aborigines-how-i-lead-sister-christine-shaw/ Sat, 16 Jul 2016 17:33:19 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3477 Christine Shaw is no doubt an individual on a mission of service. Though she has completed a formal mission with her late husband in Malaysia, she has been on a mission all her life. In this episode she tells of her experience as a Relief Society president and Primary president in a branch that was started with the help of herself and her husband. She tells interesting stories of helping invite Australian aborigines to church and some of the stories of faith that they showed in joining The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Christine Shaw is no doubt an individual on a mission of service. Though she has completed a formal mission with her late husband in Malaysia, she has been on a mission all her life. In this episode she tells of her experience as a Relief Society presi...
 ]]>
LeadingLDS clean 54:59
Why Your “Without a Shadow of a Doubt” Testimony is Hurting Your Leadership https://leadinglds.org/why-your-without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt-testimony-is-hurting-your-leadership/ Tue, 12 Jul 2016 13:54:38 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3454 One of my favorite gospel stories is about the father who brings his possessed son unto the Savior to be healed (Mark 9). After pleading with the Savior's disciples "that they should cast him out; and they could not," the Savior quickly rebuked His disciples. He then turns to the father and says, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." The father's response has lead me to hours of pondering, the father says, "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." In the same sentence it seem that the father proclaims his faith in the Savior and then has a crisis of faith. In the beginning I can hear the conviction in his voice stating an unwavering testimony as he says, "Lord, I believe!" Then doubt snatches that conviction and turns the tone into a plead, "help thou mine unbelief." One of my favorite gospel stories is about the father who brings his possessed son unto the Savior to be healed (Mark 9). After pleading with the Savior's disciples "that they should cast him out; and they could not,
In the same sentence, it seems that the father proclaims his faith in the Savior and then has a crisis of faith. In the beginning I can hear the conviction in his voice stating an unwavering testimony as he says, "Lord, I believe!" Then doubt snatches that conviction and turns the tone into a plead, "help thou mine unbelief."
"Without a Shadow of a Doubt" Testimonies
As latter-day saints we experience something similar. We have a culture that highlights those that can stand at the lecterns of the Church and proclaim, "I know the Church is true without a shadow of a doubt!" Such conviction is inspiring, and deep within my own testimony I probably wouldn't hesitate to use such an LDS cliché. I believe... I know... I have a witness... It doesn't matter how we testify. As we testify, we sincerely want to communicate that we have received a spiritual witness and we want others to receive that same witness.

It has been decades of "without a shadow of a doubt" type of testimonies, or some form of them, announced from lecterns, tearfully shared in Sunday School, and even testified in bishop's offices. However, my fear is that all these years of conviction has created a culture of "gold-stars-on-foreheads" or honoring those with the right kind of testimony—that you only belong if you have received such a dramatic witness and can stand with a broad chest and speak such words. The general believing membership of the Church didn't intend for this. Of course, everyone sharing their testimony wants all to come unto Christ, and their only intent with sharing such a bold testimony is to produce other bold testimonies. But what about the individuals who showed up on Sunday with a prayer on his or her heart that says, "Lord, help thou mine unbelief?" Do they feel like they are among struggling saints seeking for sanctification? Or do they feel out of place because it seems everyone else has arrived?
The Leader Testifies
Now what about the local leaders of wards, Relief Societies, or quorums? Of course they have conviction of the gospel truths, and I count myself among them. They don't hand out these leadership responsibilities to the public doubter. The Church needs leaders who can boldly proclaim their witness. And the last thing a leader should do is fake uncertainty of their faith in order to validate those that truly are uncertain. The doubter needs validation nonetheless. They need to know their leader not only understands their struggle to receive a testimony, but that the process of faith they are going through is normal and not a spiritual handicap.

So, what's a leader to do? How can the leader make room for those that are not as far down the path of conviction as other members of the ward?
Invite Them to Share the Struggle
When I was bishop and I found myself initiating the fast and testimony meeting on 1st Sundays of the month by sharing my own testimony, I would make it a habit to invite all to stand and share their version of their testimony—even if that testimony contained overtones of struggle and delayed certainty.

It would be refreshing to hear in a testimony meeting the simple words, "I want to believe, but I'm not sure I'm there yet." Or, "I thought there was no room for a shadow of a doubt in my heart, but this week was tough.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 18:43
How I Lead as Bishop in Leesville, Louisiana | An Interview with Dr. Chris Kittle https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-as-bishop-in-leesville-louisiana-an-interview-with-dr-chris-kittle/ Sat, 09 Jul 2016 13:43:27 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3470 Chris Kittle lives in Leesville, Louisiana and works as an oral maxillofacial surgeon (a really awesome dentist). He has been bishop for 2+ years for a military ward. In this episode he shares with us his Catholic background, joining the LDS Church at 19 and then serving a mission in Brazil at the age of 22. Bishop Kittle's 5 Leadership Principles Be Flexible Use Your Counselors Communication, Communication, COMMUNICATION Follow the Spirit Listen to LeadingLDS Chris Kittle lives in Leesville, Louisiana and works as an oral maxillofacial surgeon (a really awesome dentist). He has been bishop for 2+ years for a military ward. In this episode he shares with us his Catholic background, Bishop Kittle's 5 Leadership Principles

* Be Flexible
* Use Your Counselors
* Communication, Communication, COMMUNICATION
* Follow the Spirit
* Listen to LeadingLDS

Links:
Text 2 Group App]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:03:03
From Inactivity to Bishop | An Interview with Warwick & Samantha Allen https://leadinglds.org/from-inactivity-to-bishop-an-interview-with-warwick-samantha-allen/ Tue, 05 Jul 2016 23:08:21 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3508 Warwick & Samantha Allen live on the east coast of Australia in beautiful city of Brisbane. Warwick is currently serving as the bishop or his ward and his wife Samantha is a great support and has many years of leadership service herself. In this episode we learn about their unique background of gaining a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ while dealing with growing up in a home impacted by divorce. We talked with Samantha about how her single-parent family was supported by her ward. Warwick talks about his awkward experience in the youth program and how it lead him to go inactive in the church for more than 14 years. His story of returning to the gospel will inspire all who listen to it and then how he has developed his leadership ability to lead his ward for the past six years. The Allen's 6 Principles of Leadership: Lead from Behind Love Your Counselors Embrace Your Sisters Show the Members Your Heart Impart Confidence and Optimism Tomorrow is Another Day Warwick & Samantha Allen live on the east coast of Australia in beautiful city of Brisbane. Warwick is currently serving as the bishop or his ward and his wife Samantha is a great support and has many years of leadership service herself. The Allen's 5... 6 Principles of Leadership:

* Lead from Behind
* Love Your Counselors
* Embrace Your Sisters
* Show the Members Your Heart
* Impart Confidence and Optimism
* Tomorrow is Another Day

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LeadingLDS clean 1:22:51
The Book of Mormon DNA Debate | An Interview With Ugo Perego https://leadinglds.org/the-book-of-mormon-dna-debate-an-interview-with-ugo-perego/ Sat, 25 Jun 2016 20:06:51 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3491 From time to time church leaders will counsel with someone in their flock that has concerns and confusion related to how science relates to the Book of Mormon; more specifically how DNA relates to the people talked about in the Book of Mormon. It would be beneficial for all leaders to listen to this podcast interview and also review the links below. This will help leaders to have more confidence when counseling with someone that is having a faith struggle because of a scientific perspectives. Dr. Ugo Perego is currently Director of the Rome Italy LDS Institute. He is a Population Geneticist and has consulted with the LDS Church related to the Book of Mormon and DNA. He contributed to the research mentioned in the Church's Essay about this topic. Dr. Perego is also a bishop in Rome, Italy. From time to time church leaders will counsel with someone in their flock that has concerns and confusion related to how science relates to the Book of Mormon; more specifically how DNA relates to the people talked about in the Book of Mormon. -
It would be beneficial for all leaders to listen to this podcast interview and also review the links below. This will help leaders to have more confidence when counseling with someone that is having a faith struggle because of a scientific perspectives.

Dr. Ugo Perego is currently Director of the Rome Italy LDS Institute. He is a Population Geneticist and has consulted with the LDS Church related to the Book of Mormon and DNA. He contributed to the research mentioned in the Church's Essay about this topic. Dr. Perego is also a bishop in Rome, Italy.


Links:
Book of Mormon & DNA Studies Essay

Joseph Smith DNA Research

Elder M. Russell Ballard CES Talk

Foundations of the Restoration Manual

Pathway Program

A Reason for Faith Book]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:21:19
What Every Leader Can Learn from King Mosiah https://leadinglds.org/what-every-leader-can-learn-from-king-mosiah/ Tue, 21 Jun 2016 16:43:58 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3403 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. —Joseph Smith, D&C 121:39 In the history of the world, we're hard-pressed to find more George Washington's. That's part of why he's so revered and even deified. He could have taken a lot more power after the war, like Bonaparte and Cromwell. He didn't. Not only did he not amass power to himself, but he even rejected consolidating too much power in the office of POTUS. The most enduring example of this is probably his refusal to put himself up for re-election for a third term. It set a precedent that was honored for well over a century afterward, and then made law in the 22nd Amendment in 1947. We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. - —Joseph Smith, D&C 121:39 - We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
—Joseph Smith, D&C 121:39

In the history of the world, we're hard-pressed to find more George Washington's. That's part of why he's so revered and even deified. He could have taken a lot more power after the war, like Bonaparte and Cromwell. He didn't. Not only did he not amass power to himself, but he even rejected consolidating too much power in the office of POTUS. The most enduring example of this is probably his refusal to put himself up for re-election for a third term. It set a precedent that was honored for well over a century afterward, and then made law in the 22nd Amendment in 1947.

Interestingly, the Book of Mormon has a number of such leaders. If that was the only history you knew (like a Nephite might) you'd probably think these sorts of leaders were somewhat common. The truth is, they're extremely rare, and there's maybe only a few other candidates in all of world history.
Book of Mormon Leaders
That book starts right off with Nephi, who was so beloved by his people they called kings that came after him 2nd Nephi, 3rd Nephi, and so on. The name "Nephi" literally came to mean "king" or "honored leader" among them. He was able to lead with such unselfish effectiveness, that all his people loved and revered him. He was also able to give up that power, selflessly choosing a righteous successor who was not his own descendant (it appears), before he died.

Captain Moroni also comes to mind. He had the hearts and minds of the people, and command of the army. He even marched on the Capital to overthrow the government, when he perceived a lack of ability on their part. But he doesn't go to take over or become dictator, he simply wanted a government that would support the fight for freedom. He had no desire to be supreme ruler.

Many others could be listed here as well: Mosiah I, King Benjamin, Alma the Younger, Mormon, and others. They are these selfless leaders who had a great deal of power, but didn't use that power for evil or in selfish ways. They only exercised that power to do the will of the Lord and help their people. They're the ultimate leaders and absolutely deserve studying.
Mosiah II
Mosiah II stands out in my recent studies. As a king and judge, he's faced with 2 major controversies in his time. The first is when many non-believers are persecuting the members of the Church. His kingdom becomes divided between those who believe and those who do not.

The division occurs when many of a new generation grow up. They don't remember king Benjamin and the things he taught, nor did they experience the captivity of Limhi's people or Alma's followers. They turn to wickedness and apostasy. These non-believers commit many sins, and are brought to the priests with witnesses who testify of their iniquities. The priests take them to Alma, because they don't know what to do. This kind of widespread and public wickedness hasn't been a problem among the Nephites before. Alma doesn't know what to do either. So he takes them to Mosiah. In Mosiah 26:11 we read what Alma said to Mosiah:
Behold, here are many whom we have brought before thee, who are accused of their brethren; yea, and they have been taken in divers iniquities. And they do not repent of their iniquities; therefore we have brought them before thee, that thou mayest judge them according to their crimes.
Now, the typical leader would see this as a problem to be solved, and if he's power hungry (as most are), an opportunity to amass more power. He'd quickly judge these people and thereby set precedent that he's the supreme jud...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 17:54
How I Lead the LDS Young Women in Sao Paulo, Brazil | Interview with Neal & KaLee Mortensen https://leadinglds.org/how-i-lead-the-lds-young-women-in-sao-paulo-brazil/ Tue, 14 Jun 2016 17:42:17 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3352 This was a fun interview! I had the chance to chat with Kalee and Neal Mortensen, both Arizona natives, who have been living in São Paulo, Brazil for the last 2 years. They have had a unique experience as newly weds in a foreign country while also attending a familiar church. Neal, who served his mission in Brazil, has served as ward clerk and is currently in the bishopric. Kalee is the Young Women president and has learned Portuguese since she has been there. As we learn about their leadership experience we also learn about the status of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Brazil and how their culture influences the day-to-day life of a Latter-day Saint in Brazil. We talk about some of the ramifications sensitive policy changes has had in Brazil, what apps are helpful for Brazilian leadership, and what it's like speaking in stake conference in a 2nd language. Listen in. This was a fun interview! I had the chance to chat with Kalee and Neal Mortensen, both Arizona natives, who have been living in São Paulo, Brazil for the last 2 years. They have had a unique experience as newly weds in a foreign country while also atte...
As we learn about their leadership experience we also learn about the status of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Brazil and how their culture influences the day-to-day life of a Latter-day Saint in Brazil. We talk about some of the ramifications sensitive policy changes has had in Brazil, what apps are helpful for Brazilian leadership, and what it's like speaking in stake conference in a 2nd language.

Listen in.
Links
"Things As They Really Are," Elder David A. Bednar

Same-Sex Marriage in Brazil

Why Youth Leaders Need to Use Snapchat

WhatsApp

Slack]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:03:58
5 Preparation Tips for Teaching in Church With More Power https://leadinglds.org/5-preparation-tips-for-teaching-in-church-with-more-power/ Sat, 11 Jun 2016 12:15:53 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3381 Brigham Rupp is a full-time seminary teacher in Gilbert, Arizona. He’s served as elders quorum counselor, executive secretary, stake Sunday School, and currently serves as bishop. He served a mission in Chicago, Illinois and share many of his scriptural thoughts at The Silver Grey. Also be sure to listen to Brigham's How I Lead interview. Brigham Rupp is a full-time seminary teacher in Gilbert, Arizona. He’s served as elders quorum counselor, executive secretary, stake Sunday School, and currently serves as bishop. He served a mission in Chicago, Brigham Rupp is a full-time seminary teacher in Gilbert, Arizona. He’s served as elders quorum counselor, executive secretary, stake Sunday School, and currently serves as bishop. He served a mission in Chicago, Illinois and share many of his scriptural thoughts at The Silver Grey

Also be sure to listen to Brigham's How I Lead interview.
Enter Brigham…
One of the things I love (and sometimes hate) about teaching is that a teacher never "arrives." No matter how well you teach, you can always do better next time. It's no secret that teaching in the Church has room for improvement (as John Milton wrote, sometimes "the hungry sheep look up but are not fed"), nor is there a shortage of material meant to help us do better. In the spirit of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's plea that we "revitalize and re- enthrone superior teaching in the Church," here are five preparation tips that will take your teaching to the next level. There are hundreds of valuable teaching tips (see links below). These five are focused on common mistakes we make in our approach to teaching in the Church. While easier said than done, remembering these will make our teaching easier, more enjoyable, and most importantly more powerful.
1. Focus on teaching people, not lessons
Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep. - John 21:17

I know this sounds like a meaningless gimmick, but following this simple maxim changes the entire approach to teaching. Because teaching for most of us is such an anxiety-inducing activity, our natural tendency is to focus on ourselves from the onset. "How am I going to use up the time? What am I going to do? What am I going to say? How am I going to be received?" The danger is to give our lesson all the attention instead of the students. This tendency is manifest when we teach well prepared "lessons" that are not relevant to our students, when we rush past questions because we need to "get back to the lesson," or when our minds are blank after a meaningful comment because while they were talking we were thinking about the lesson plan to which we are so rigidly attached.

As we pray for charity and focus on our students, we empower the Spirit to direct us in ways that will bless those we teach. Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught, “A gospel teacher will never be satisfied with just delivering a message or preaching a sermon. A superior gospel teacher wants to assist in the Lord’s work to bring eternal life to His children.”
2. Determine what to teach before you plan how to teach.
And again, the elders, priests and teachers of this church shall teach the principles of my gospel, which are in the Bible and the Book of Mormon - D&C 42:12

This one is harder than it sounds. Again, because we are so often focused on ourselves, we have a natural tendency to jump straight into how we're going to teach when we sit down to prepare. This is a huge mistake and it makes preparation very difficult. Powerful teaching usually comes from knowing what specific principles and doctrines you want to emphasize. I don't just mean "I know I'm teaching the Gospel Essentials lesson on Prayer" or "I'm teaching the Sunday School Lesson on 2 Nephi 32-33." This is not enough. In any given Church class, you generally have enough time to effectively cover one or two specific principles. These should be identified so specifically and clearly that someone could ask, "What did you want us to learn today?" and you could respond with a single clear sentence. So for example,]]>
LeadingLDS clean 13:36
A Glimpse of Being a Bishop | Helping Bear Other’s Burdens https://leadinglds.org/a-glimpse-of-being-a-bishop-helping-bear-others-burdens/ Thu, 09 Jun 2016 13:00:14 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=1274 A few years ago a close friend was over at my house visiting with my wife (we will call her Ashley). As I entered the room Ashley said she wanted to tell us about a conversation she had with one of her longtime friends. Ashley's friend called the day before to let her know she experiences same-sex attraction. They had a good talk about the gospel and what this means for her spiritual journey going forward. Ashley was touched that this person felt comfortable enough to share this information with her. Ashley said it was remarkable how much compassion she felt towards her friend because she cared about her so much. A few years ago a close friend was over at my house visiting with my wife (we will call her Ashley). As I entered the room Ashley said she wanted to tell us about a conversation she had with one of her longtime friends.
Ashley then said, "It's just been on my mind all day, I had to share this experience with someone." A subtle bishop smile came to my face as I said, "Imagine if people told you this sort of stuff every week and there is nobody you can share it with."
Bearing Other's Burdens--A Form of Christ
As I pondered on this conversation I had with Ashley, it made me reflect on some of the experiences one has as a bishop that many don't experience as often. This process of someone coming to you with a huge burden they carry, looking for someone else to assist in the carry. Suddenly the stakes of the baptismal covenant become reality, and you aren't sure you are "willing to bear one another's burdens, that they be light." (Mosiah 18:8)

Throughout the scriptures there are many forms of Jesus Christ mixed into each story. His atonement is the central message of the gospel and is represented in all things therein. When one is asked to stand and bear the burden of others, it is simply a form of Christ.
Psalms 55:22 Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
Matthew 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Alma 24:21 Yea, and in the valley of Alma they poured out their thanks to God because he had been merciful unto them, and eased their burdens, and had delivered them out of bondage; for they were in bondage, and none could deliver them except it were the Lord their God.

The Burden of Leadership (Available to All)
In Numbers chapter 11 Moses pleads with the Lord because of the burdens of his people that he is called to carry (another form of Christ). These verses sound like they are coming from the lips of every bishop of the church.

(emphasis added)
10 Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: and the anger of the Lord was kindled greatly; Moses also was displeased.
11 And Moses said unto the Lord, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me?
12 Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers?
13 Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat.
14 I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me.
 Bishops find themselves bearing others' burdens more often than they may want to (like Moses), but this "burden-carrying-blessing" is available to all, regardless of leadership title. From time to time, one will experience (as did my friend Ashley) the feeling of representing Christ and bearing other's burdens when they need it most. The atonement of Jesus Christ does not fall from the sky in the form of magic pixie dust; it generally comes through people--other servants called at that time to give a hug or an open ear.

As Moses pleads later in Numbers chapter 11:29, "would God that all the Lord’s people were pro...]]>
LeadingLDS clean 7:17
Having a Game Plan for Sunday School | An Interview With Greg Trimble https://leadinglds.org/having-a-game-plan-for-sunday-school-an-interview-with-greg-trimble/ Tue, 07 Jun 2016 20:52:04 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3375 Greg Trimble is a very popular blogger that produces great content around LDS culture (see gregtrimble.com). Part of that content includes leadership articles, teaching articles, and some inspiring words for those serving full-time missions. I had the opportunity to interview him for the LeadingLDS podcast about leadership and what inspires him to write about leadership. It turned out to be a great discussion and I look forward to sharing with you his perspectives about being a stake Sunday School president (spoiler alert: it's more than ringing the bell). Greg Trimble is a very popular blogger that produces great content around LDS culture (see gregtrimble.com). Part of that content includes leadership articles, teaching articles, and some inspiring words for those serving full-time missions. gregtrimble.com). Part of that content includes leadership articles, teaching articles, and some inspiring words for those serving full-time missions. I had the opportunity to interview him for the LeadingLDS podcast about leadership and what inspires him to write about leadership. It turned out to be a great discussion and I look forward to sharing with you his perspectives about being a stake Sunday School president (spoiler alert: it's more than ringing the bell).
Leadership Articles by Greg:
What Every Leader Should Learn About True Leadership

What To Do If You Don't Want to Sustain A Church Leader

The One Thing Every Missionary Should Learn Before They Leave

You Know... It's Alright to Smile at Church
Other Links:
Greg Trimble's Blog

"Lift Where You Stand," President Uchtdorf

"The Greatest Leaders Are the Greatest Follower," President Stephen W. Owens

"Teaching in the Saviors Way"

Elder Ballard's CES Talk

Mosiah 5

Game Plan Pro

 ]]>
LeadingLDS clean 57:36
6 Reasons LDS Youth Leaders Need Snapchat Accounts https://leadinglds.org/6-reason-lds-youth-leaders-need-snapchat-accounts/ Sat, 04 Jun 2016 17:33:07 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3350 Adult leaders probably feel pretty hip now that they have their own Facebook account. Sorry to tell you this, but that was totally last decade! Facebook has a problem, and they know it. The youth are bored with Facebook and many don't even bother to check their feed regularly. Apps like Snapchat provide a more dynamic experience that appeals to the youth. So if you only have a Facebook account to stay in touch with your youth, it might be time to join the world of 2016. Adult leaders probably feel pretty hip now that they have their own Facebook account. Sorry to tell you this, but that was totally last decade! Facebook has a problem, and they know it. The youth are bored with Facebook and many don't even bother to ch...
It should also be noted that the LDS Church recently created a Snapchat account and is doing a great job connecting with youth through this popular social media platform. You can follow the Church @ldschurch on Snapchat.

 

You have seen the youth in your Sunday class giggle as they all take a silly group selfie on Snapchat. You allowed such silly behavior before the lesson starts, but you never considered participating. Snapchat appeared immature and only for the youth. Well, times are changing. Now is the day that you, as a LDS youth leader, need to be on Snapchat. I know, you never anticipated this day to come, but it's no longer an option. If you really want to connect and form bonds with your youth, they need to see you on Snapchat.

Here are 6 reasons why...
1. It's Not What You Think It Is
Early on, Snapchat earned the stigma of being a naughty app. Pictures shown on Snapchat disappear after viewing them, which led to the idea it was perfect for sexting and trading inappropriate pictures. This was the practice of some users but it is definitely not allowed on the platform. About 1% of photos shared on Snapchat are sexually explicit and they won't randomly show up in your account unless you voluntarily connect with Snapchatter that do so. It is against the terms and conditions of Snapchat to post "content that contain pornography, graphic violence, threats, hate speech, or incitement to violence." (Snapchat Terms) This content should be reported and the account producing inappropriate content will be suspended.

So, no, it isn't an evil app, but it can be used for evil just as much as other popular platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Google.
2. Youth Are Fleeing Facebook
Adult leaders probably feel pretty hip now that they have their own Facebook account. Sorry to tell you this, but that was totally last decade! Facebook has a problem, and they know it. The youth are bored with Facebook and many don't even bother to check their feed regularly. Apps like Snapchat provide a more dynamic experience that appeals to the youth. So if you only have a Facebook account to stay in touch with your youth, it might be time to join the world of 2016.
3. It Humanizes You As a Leader
A recent University of Michigan study revealed that Snapchat brings more happiness than Facebook. Facebook is built on idealism. Don't we all have those friends on Facebook that appear to always be on vacation or finishing their third marathon of the week? That's because people only put their best of the best on Facebook. The way that Snapchat is set up causes people to be real. You can only view the photos and messages shared in the last 24 hours on Snapchat. S0, you get what you get. No constant bragging about your trip to Europe that you took 6 months ago.

By participating in Snapchat you show your youth the real day-to-day of your life. Sitting at work. Watching your kid play soccer.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 42:06
The Power of Delayed Recognition https://leadinglds.org/the-power-delayed-recognition/ Thu, 02 Jun 2016 13:00:24 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=895 Like any Mormon boy who was raised going to a church with an indoor gymnasium, I love playing basketball. It was one of the focuses of my teenage years and it taught me many life lessons. One of the great things about basketball is you can learn so much about the character and personality of individuals that are on the court. A manager would have an easier decision about whom to hire by watching them play a pick-up basketball game compared to a sit-down interview. The only problem is, this would require each person you interview to have fundamental basketball skills. Many would look like confused rodeo clowns if you pushed them onto the hardwood. I digress... Like any Mormon boy who was raised going to a church with an indoor gymnasium, I love playing basketball. It was one of the focuses of my teenage years and it taught me many life lessons. One of the great things about basketball is you can learn so muc...
I digress...

Many articles could be written about the personal human characteristics which are manifested by playing team basketball. However, I would like to discuss a theory that comes from my time playing hundreds of church ball games.

Most people find it beneficial and appropriate to be a good teammate by showing good sportsmanship to the other players on their team. This is why you see many high-fives, pointing at one another after a big play, and even yelling "GOOD JOB" after a teammate makes a good play. Cheering after a play is culturally normal. The loudest part of a game is when a player makes a basket. In my years of playing basketball, whenever I try to shout my congratulations to a teammate immediately after his big play, all the other noise, coming from players, coaches, and the crowd, would drown my voice out. But if I waited 5 seconds for the noise to dissipate then my praise was more likely to be heard.

This same principle is applied in LDS leadership. Imagine sitting through a sacrament meeting talk that is downright remarkable. After the meeting, you—along with others—approach the speaker and thank him or her for the remarkable job. This is fine and very encouraging. I can think of many times I have given a talk and people have thanked me after the meeting. It feels good and encourages me the next time I am asked to speak.

However, there is something magical that happens when we delay the recognition. The pause should be much longer than the basketball analogy of 5 seconds—more like 5 hours or 5 days. When someone accomplishes something great and their leader calls them (or writes a letter) a few days after, the praise is received with more impact; it is heard more clearly because the noise of other superficial acknowledgements have diminished.

The next time you are impressed by the performance of someone in your life, especially someone you lead, give them a quick pat on the back and then delay your words of recognition until it will be heard more clearly.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 5:28
A Journey of Conversion | How I Lead: President Sesily Lee, Relief Society https://leadinglds.org/a-journey-of-conversion-how-i-lead-president-sesily-lee-relief-society/ Tue, 31 May 2016 16:03:44 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3334 Sesily Lee is an inspiring Relief Society president in Las Vegas, Nevada. If you are an avid listener to this podcast you might remember her husband, Trent Lee, when I interview him prior. It was a fantastic episode and this one might be a little better. :) In this interview we hear Sesily's engaging story of conversion as she grew up in a less-active home and had many influential people in her life that guided her to the gospel. She married in the temple and currently has a beautiful family as she serves as Relief Society president. Links: Her husband's How I Lead interview Elder Holland's talk, "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" SignUpGenius Jack Christensen talk (link coming soon) Sesily Lee is an inspiring Relief Society president in Las Vegas, Nevada. If you are an avid listener to this podcast you might remember her husband, Trent Lee, when I interview him prior. It was a fantastic episode and this one might be a little bette... when I interview him prior. It was a fantastic episode and this one might be a little better. :)

In this interview we hear Sesily's engaging story of conversion as she grew up in a less-active home and had many influential people in her life that guided her to the gospel. She married in the temple and currently has a beautiful family as she serves as Relief Society president.
Links:
Her husband's How I Lead interview

Elder Holland's talk, "An High Priest of Good Things to Come"

SignUpGenius

Jack Christianson talk

]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:13:23
From US Senator to Mormon | An Interview with Senator Larry Pressler https://leadinglds.org/from-us-senator-to-mormon-an-interview-with-larry-pressler/ Thu, 26 May 2016 18:49:04 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3303 In this podcast, we talk to a 3 Term Senator that just became a Mormon. Senator Larry Pressler from South Dakota, Retired. He was baptized in April 2016. While Senator Harry Reid helped him along the path, he first read part of the Book of Mormon in a Marriott. He served with many in senate and house that were Mormon and has had a lot of feelings and run-ins with members along the way. It’s been a 30 year journey. Senator Pressler confirmed that Harry Reid has a stack of Books of Mormon to give out in his office, he openly talks about the church. In this podcast, we talk to a 3 Term Senator that just became a Mormon. - Senator Larry Pressler from South Dakota, Retired. He was baptized in April 2016. - While Senator Harry Reid helped him along the path,
Senator Larry Pressler from South Dakota, Retired.  He was baptized in April 2016.

While Senator Harry Reid helped him along the path, he first read part of the Book of Mormon in a Marriott.  He served with many in senate and house that were Mormon and has had a lot of feelings and run-ins with members along the way.  It’s been a 30 year journey.

Senator Pressler confirmed that Harry Reid has a stack of Books of Mormon to give out in his office, he openly talks about the church.

Senator Pressler currently teaches Sunday School-his first calling in the church, and is an Elder.

Clayton Christensen baptized him, and was introduced by Harry Reid.  Clayton once shared Moroni’s prayer with Senator Pressler.

He shared that he wishes he had listened to his inner voices earlier in life.

General leadership guidance he’d give:

You can be a leader in any capacity-parents, etc.

Leadership by example is the most important thing.

He’s still learning, searching.
Links:
Larry Pressler's Books]]>
LeadingLDS clean 16:05
Mental Illness & the Bishop’s Office https://leadinglds.org/mental-illness-the-bishops-office/ Sat, 21 May 2016 13:00:34 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3284 Jeff Case is a clinical psychologist, former elders quorum president, return missionary, and gay Mormon. In this interview we primarily focus on the basics a ward leader need to understand about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression, personality disorders, suicide, and other mental illnesses. It's a fascinating discussion with best practices of how to help these individuals find a place in the walls of the church and really feel apart of the ward. We take a few minutes at the end of the episode to discuss what life is like being a gay, married (to a woman), active Mormon. Listen in. Jeff Case is a clinical psychologist, former elders quorum president, return missionary, and gay Mormon. In this interview we primarily focus on the basics a ward leader need to understand about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression,
We take a few minutes at the end of the episode to discuss what life is like being a gay, married (to a woman), active Mormon.

Listen in.


Links:
North Star

Elder Holland's talk on depression

David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism

Voices of Hope: Jeff Case

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAPzZVaAbFY

Watch extended version HERE.]]>
LeadingLDS clean 1:15:57
Leadership Systems | How I Lead: Ross Richey, High Priest Group Leader https://leadinglds.org/leadership-systems-how-i-lead-ross-richey-high-priest-group-leader/ Tue, 17 May 2016 15:57:37 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3264 Ross Richey is originally from North Ogden, Utah. He is currently serving as a high priest group leader in South Salt Lake, Utah. In this episode Ross shares his 5 principles of leadership and other unique perspectives on leadership. Ross Richey is originally from North Ogden, Utah. He is currently serving as a high priest group leader in South Salt Lake, Utah. In this episode Ross shares his 5 principles of leadership and other unique perspectives on leadership. 5 Key Leadership Principles

*
Be excited
*

Show Up
*

Have a system
*

Identify the Sheep
*

Take advice and wisdom from everywhere

Links:
Getting Things Done

Doctrine & Covenants 93:30

C.S. Lewis Doodles]]>
LeadingLDS clean 53:10
The Art of Significance in LDS Leadership | How I Lead: Bishop Dan Clark https://leadinglds.org/the-art-of-significance-in-lds-leadership-how-i-lead-bishop-dan-clark/ Tue, 10 May 2016 12:58:10 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3249 Dan Clark is an award winning motivational speaker and best selling author. He has traveled to 59 countries in the world motivating the masses to create a life of significance. He has also served as a Young Single Adult (YSA) bishop (twice). I first came across Dan's speaking ability when I listened to his BYU Devotional. It inspired me to be a better leader in the Church and it inspired me to get him on the podcast as soon as possible. After a few miraculous encounters, I was able to meet Dan and he willingly agreed to sit down with me for an interview. This is definitely one of the top 3 interviews I have done on LeadingLDS and I am excited to share it with you. We discuss his young football career at the University of Utah, how he became a motivational speaker, his time teaching public speaking at BYU, how he was called as a YSA bishop, what he learned from that calling, how to run a linger-longer, how to increase the rate of marriage in a YSA ward, how to increase the quality of teaching in a ward, the power of stories and how to record them, and other basic guidance for public speaking in church. Transcript available. Dan Clark is an award winning motivational speaker and best selling author. He has traveled to 59 countries in the world motivating the masses to create a life of significance. He has also served as a Young Single Adult (YSA) bishop (twice). BYU Devotional. It inspired me to be a better leader in the Church and it inspired me to get him on the podcast as soon as possible. After a few miraculous encounters, I was able to meet Dan and he willingly agreed to sit down with me for an interview.

This is definitely one of the top 3 interviews I have done on LeadingLDS and I am excited to share it with you. We discuss his young football career at the University of Utah, how he became a motivational speaker, his time teaching public speaking at BYU, how he was called as a YSA bishop, what he learned from that calling, how to run a linger-longer, how to increase the rate of marriage in a YSA ward, how to increase the quality of teaching in a ward, the power of stories and how to record them, and other basic guidance for public speaking in church.

Transcript is available below.
Links
Dan's 21st book, The Art of Significance

Dan's BYU Devotional Address

Book: The New Drug

DanClark.com

 
Interview Transcript:
Kurt Francom (LLDS): I had the opportunity to be be invited to Dan Clark's home and— how are you Dan?

Dan Clark (DC): I’m great Kurt. How are you, Bishop?

LLDS:Good. Well, you know I appreciate— you've been kind of on my bucket list of interviews for a while and I think my first initial introduction to you was when (remove the I)you gave a devotional address at BYU and I think I'd probably been familiar with some of your work before, but that was sort of one of those moments I was like, “Wait, that guy is Mormon?” [laughter] So— and I really enjoyed them and I thought, “I've got to track him down and see if I can interview him,” and we randomly ran into each other at an event and I said, “Hey! Would you mind if I interviewed you?” and you were so gracious to say, “Yeah, come on over and we'll do it,” so I appreciate that.

DC:Oh thanks, you just— your comment reminds me of my mentor, Zig Ziegler- he used to always say, “If somebody has to ask if you are a Christian, you must be doing something wrong,” so I apologize that you didn't know that I was a Mormon. [laughter]

LLDS: Obviously I didn't have too much experience with you to make a moral judgement on your background but ...

DC: On on funny note, I'm a public speaker so I'm usually on a huge stage. Most of my audiences are about four to ten thousand folks and there is always kind of like a follow spot . Back in the day I used to have the craziest comments. People would come up and go, “Are you a Mormon?” and I'd just look and them and smile, and I'd say something like, “Why, do I glow?” and they would say, “Oh no, I saw your garment mark on your suit pants,” and I'm like, “Are you serious?” That's just funny.

LLDS: Well, all the way from the top tier and they can pick you out?

DC: Oh yeah, that's funny, so— proud to be Mormon, proud to be a Latter-day Saint.

LLDS: Nice, now many people may know you as an author. You've written twenty one books, right?]]>
LeadingLDS clean